Muse

Hey, how come you never play your guitar anymore? I'll tell you the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad. Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV. What's on? It doesn't matter. hey tv child look into my eyes here by intervention i want your attention jokes

do some okay what makes you laugh comedy obviously and sometimes tragedy light tragedy erectile dysfunction non-fatal hunting accidents waving at someone you think you know but it

turns out to be a stranger, that sort of thing. Sure, it's done in the name of comedy, but is debasing ourselves really that hilarious? I don't know, man. Don't you kind of feel like a sellout?

Can you really call it a sellout when they give you a free Tesla for doing the show? And boom goes the dynamite. Well, all right. Hello. Good morning and welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. accoutrema what is that my name is luke burbank i am your host in short things are going extremely well for him coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched high above the mighty columbia on a wet and wild day didn't know you like to get wet though i it's the first day of spring allegedly and uh i don't know what is it april showers we're We're not even in April yet. Which one is the showers? And then when are the flowers? I know that we're at episode 4,427 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

I may have had that number wrong yesterday. I apologize. I'm just, I'm but a man. I'm but a humble podcaster standing before you trying to remember how counting works. Today, I believe, is 4,427. Speaking of things that are perfectly imperfect, You know I've been talking about the Netflix live program, Everybody's Live with John Mulaney.

I'll write it and we'll do it live!

Turns out I finally tricked my friend Andrew into watching it, and we both watched some of that show last night. And we have thoughts, and we're going to share those thoughts with all of you coming up. Also, it's a Thursday, known around here as a Blur's Day. Andrew had a lot of time to get the Blur's Day messages together because I forgot the time that we had established we would be making our internet connection. So he had a lot of time waiting for me to get my bleep together, and so it should be a corker of a segment today. Speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh, the longest running co-bro of the show.

Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

He may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Hey, Luke, I saw you make a face during the intro today. Like, not even the part where you're talking, but the intro montage.

If people could see what my face looks like when I'm doing that opening bit, just imagine John Mayer, but less cool. Like, you've heard about Guitar Face. I do, like, Cod Face.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who are you facing?

I was about to make a disparaging comment about Air Guitar because I don't like Air Guitar, And I was about to say it's the lowest form of, like, I don't even know if it's comedy. Like, I don't even know what that is. And I feel like we lived through an era of, like, heavy air guitar. And the reason I'm hesitating is I was listening to one of my favorite sports podcasts yesterday that I'm obsessed with. And I think TBTL listeners can associate with this feeling of even when your favorite podcast annoys the hell out of you, you just stick with it. Because, like, well, you got to complain about something. and uh i don't i don't remember what day of the week is supposedly talk like a pirate day i don't know why they were doing it but on that podcast one of the one of the characters one of the producers just did the whole show like constantly trying to come up with these these piratey puns you know finding words with r's in them and i was just like is there a lower i'm coming in hot on is there a lower form of humor than talking like a pirate like a so-called pirate or so-called talking like a so-called pirate can you think of anything that is more grating and less funny

yar i can't okay here's what i would say about that and this is going to sound like i'm kind of like i'm kind of throwing you under the bus here i'm sorry i'm being no it's fine be honest be

honest. I mean, I didn't really say you loved

zombie and pirate humor i had you pegged wrong listen i can't even today don't talk to me till i've had my bacon okay yes that's what i always say no it's a little bit like you know you know what's really gone away from my life is people saying either use the force or luke i'm your father it's a it's actually an interesting kind of i guess you could say like lagging indicator on where Star Wars exists in the pop culture and in people's minds. Because there was a solid decade of my life where that was probably two times a week that came up in conversation. And where I landed with it was, I liked that, did I find it humorous? No. Did I like that it gave someone the feeling that they were being funny or innovative or creative? Yes. And then I eventually just decided to like, that's going to be that's going to be how I feel about it. So that instead of it being a little annoying or tired or whatever, it's like, you know what that I'm happy that you got to have that moment of feeling like you were doing something. And now would I listen to a podcast where one of the one of the people was doing talk like a pirate the whole show? Absolutely not. Yeah. at you and that's on me not get me to listen to it but if somebody like if i were to see somebody on like happy talk like a pirate day on their instagram feed i would think well that's not for me but i guess i would try to think fun for them that they're getting to do something that's that's sparking joy for them and i don't mean that that sounds so unhelpful because it's like i'm sounding sounds like i'm saying that you're being no fun i'm just saying that like yeah i agree it is the lowest form of humor but also in an endeavor to i don't know just just stop being such a miserable man like i am i think i'm gonna try to just i'll i'll allow it and it is up to me yes i guess so

i i do wonder if if i had stated that differently i could be wrong i feel like if this is a conversation where i came in saying this is so funny you wouldn't believe this thing i saw on instagram and somebody talking like a pirate i think you would be like i i think that i don't

know i do think i came to be clear i'm not a fan of people talking like a pirate i don't think that is funny um uh and and again i think you've you've just been through something and i think you're

still processing well it's on me like listen and i i will be the first one to say that like i i don't love it when people write into the show just to say i'm not listening to the show anymore whatever like i'm not great at taking feedback about tbtl things and so i try and so In my life, like, for example, I don't write into the Levitard show and say, hey, tell that person to stop talking like a pirate. It's the lowest form of humor. And because I'm like, who would do that? Like, who would write into a show to say that? You can just skip it. Right. But then here I am. And this is where my hypocrisy comes in. It's like, oh, yeah, because then I can get on my own microphone and subtweet that. I don't have a word for subtweeting. That's the circle of life, though. I mean, it's all we're all creating content.

you know it's like a leaf fell from the dan levitard show and then it landed in the grass and then it decomposed into tbtl today it was like it's just it's like a big turd dropped from well i was going with a little more like kind of walt whitman oh wow i got a um i got a bingo the cat this i just saw i just you know what it was like uh it was part like shark from jaws and then But meets Sasquatch, because all it was like a furry fin went through the lower, the sort of southwest corner of the little screen that I'm looking at that represents you. That was really funny.

He likes to be on the shelf. But by the way, I really do need to talk to you about something that happened in the intro. But he likes to sit on the shelf, which is kind of above me, just above my head level as I'm sitting here. There's a window behind me and a shelf. And so he likes to be up there But the only way that he can get up there himself Is by walking on my audio board And launching himself off of it Which usually is fine when I'm not recording And I just have to check the settings later Because he usually punches a bunch of buttons and stuff But he can't do it during the show And lately he's been coming in here during the show And he can literally just He can take this whole thing down I'm not even joking He can just take this whole god damn thing down So I need to be a little bit careful with him when you were listening to that intro package of montage of drops. I want to give a shout-out to listener Bobby, who actually supplied a great deal of the drops that you heard today, including The Simpsons. Nice, our friend Bobby Pate. Exactly, the Simpsons quote that I mangled yesterday and that King of the Hill drop. I think that might have been random, but it was really funny. But also, the first thing you heard, and this is where I saw you make a face like, I think your face might have said, what? I don't know if it's video games or what but it was one Chris Hayes from I believe his audio book I was yeah it was I recognized it as our friend

television's chris hayes but i i wasn't familiar with him saying those words and what's funny is i'm such a in fact i just listened because you know i've been traveling i just today caught up with uh with pod which is amazing this week it's talking about congestion pricing in new york and also just kind of i mean mostly that but also the subway in new york great great episode would recommend but it was like one of those how did these buff dudes escape my radar which in this case is literal because he is also a buff dude but like i just it's rare i'm such a i'm such a This sort of like amateur chronicler of the words that are said by our friend Chris Hayes, that if I hear something like that and I don't recognize it, I'm like, oh, how did I not hear that on round one? And I think it's because I mostly read his book as opposed to the audio book. So you didn't hear this. Sometimes I feel like my mind will explode. Sometimes I feel like I've got no control.

You don't remember that? Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner.

Hereby intervention. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone.

Those are apparently Chris quoting lyrics in his book and then in the audio book. So one of those is a Living Color song and one of them is a Duran Duran song.

Oh, did did did did Bobby Bobby sent those in. OK, OK. See, that was also where I got lost because I was like I was trying to imagine you listening to the Sirens call audio book and then snatching the audio. And I didn't I didn't see that as a way for you to be experiencing that book.

Oh, really? Because that's how I plan on it.

That's literally how you did it.

No, no, I haven't yet, but actually I do plan on it. I was a little confused because I look, you and I had this conversation a while back, right before Chris came to town. I looked for the book, the audio book online, and I couldn't find it, and I thought, oh, that's strange. I thought it would come out at the same time as the actual physical book. I think it did. And I think it did. You told me it did. Did they not make it for Android? I guess I, yeah. I'm getting more and more of that, by the way. the the the new york audio app new york times audio app you talk about that all the time and i wanted to try it and i couldn't find and it turns out they don't make that for android that new blue sky photo app which i don't really care that much i'm not like really champing at the bit to get that but i couldn't find that anywhere and it's like oh they don't make that for android yet either like i really do feel like i'm being marginalized here yeah that is i don't

understand why the New York Times audio app would not I mean again this shows how little I know about coding or back end you know sort of the all of the the infrastructure of how apps work but it seems like you'd be able to make it uh available on all platforms I mean like as much as I am

resources yeah like the blue sky thing I understand I think they're running a like a fundraiser to try to get money so that they can develop it like I think they're more of a scrappy operation but yeah The New York Times, you'd think that by the time they have something like that, like developed, they could just make sure it's developed for all platforms.

And also, this is where now I will say this, because I live in the iPhone bubble where most of the people you are on a very, very, very short list, Andrew, of people that I regularly correspond with who are not on an iPhone. And so in my mind, it's like, well, everyone's on iPhone. But I believe the data actually would sort of disagree with that, right? I mean, iPhones seem like the dominant thing. And maybe of any one single kind of phone, they're the most. Oh, that's interesting, yeah. I'm guessing at that, by the way. But if you take, like, if you were to go, how many cell phones are there in America and how many of them are iPhones? I believe ones that are non- iPhones are, there are more of those than there are iPhones, right? Is that your sense?

You know, the only thing I'm not sure about is, you said, in America.

Oh, yeah, maybe the world is skewing it.

I know worldwide, I think, Android technology, I think, I could be wrong about this, but I think they kind of dominate. Like, it's not, I thought, like, by a considerable amount, the world has more Androids than iPhones. I could be wrong about that, but I do think worldwide, they definitely have the edge. I don't know about America, to be honest with you.

I guess you're right. Maybe I'm using the global number. I just remember reading that and being kind of shocked because it seems to me like, well, who doesn't have an iPhone? But in fact, it's not even nearly the dominant. I keep saying platform. I don't know if it's technically a platform. But it's not the default setting for like 90% of people in the world. It's mostly other stuff. Now, the way that this makes our relationship difficult as if it could get more difficult, which is hard to imagine. Are you talking about the sex thing? Or wait, where are you going? I'm talking about a lot of things. That's one of them. It's me forgetting what time we're dialing up. There's a lot of issues. But the fact that when I send you a text, I can't edit it. It didn't bother me nearly as much. And by the way, somebody said that this is a setting. What I should really do is go back and see if I can fix this within my own phone. If I can clean my side of the street, Andrew. But since that edit function was instituted so that I can...

Thank you.

i'm sending a text to becca or addy or anybody else i can go back in and clean it up and about

how long have you how long have you had that functionality i'm gonna say about a year that's

a guess i'm bad with dates but since since that became an option i am now addicted to it because i i dash off texts too quickly my my my brain and my excitement gets in front of my dexterity and there's almost always an error and then i can just go back in and clean that error up and i'm Now that is, I just, I use it all the time. I would say I'm one of probably the most prolific editors of texts going, and I can't do that with you. And then, so it's like you can just see all of, you can just see my work, and I don't like it. All my mistakes are hanging out there.

Sometimes you write the word fact to me, and I'm like, why is he writing it? You tried to, you meant fart. And I'm like, oh, fart, that makes more sense. I wanted to, a couple of things here. First of all, in a moment, I'm going to tell you just how smart we are, which is everybody should look forward to that. E equals MC squared. But, you know, you talking about that ability to edit a text, I don't have that on Android. I don't know if, like, you can download something that enhances your texting experience, but I don't care that much. But it reminds me of something that, like, because the iPhone already has that technology built in, my guess is, you know, it won't be too long before that's just probably common everywhere, right? the ability to edit a text across all platforms i'm assuming that in my lifetime that will just be standard which also would mean in our lifetime the somehow like just universally agreed upon format of correcting a typo in a text by following up with another text and then the asterisk and then which is a tough word for me to say and then the word corrected like i don't know who the first person was who did that came up with that but we all do it right and it just was it the guy from

invent help right after he did the wheel what is that have you seen those ads for like patenting your invention which is by the way a complete scam it's called invent help and it's got like a real bc like the cartoon remember the comic oh yeah very much the guy with the wheel i feel like right after he did the wheel he thought fag hit asterisk and corrected word we were a big bc

house by the way my dad had these special bc mugs that he loved i don't know why that spoke to him so much but um yeah i i this is a weird feeling i'm trying to describe but i almost had pre-nostalgia luke which is kind of on brand for me as you were describing that i had this pre-nostalgia for a day when we somebody will like do that in a text as a joke like remember in the 2020s when we all did this thing where we followed up with a correction with an asterisk that like may actually go away and just be something that we sort of reminisce about in the retirement community.

Like 10-10-220. Like 10-10. It would be just some sort of like old relic of life. Because the other thing that happens, this is the problem. I mean, that system was the dominant system for many years. You're right. Is that then what happens is when you open up the text program, the first thing you see is the correction. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And so it's the case that you see a sort of out-of-context word that has an asterisk in front of it. And it's kind of like, it almost gives you a preview. Sometimes it almost gives me a bad feeling about what the text is about because I'm just seeing that something went wrong in the text. What I know is, Houston, we have a boner. There's been a problem with this text that needs to be corrected. And now I'm just seeing an out-of-context word that's just sitting there. It's a strange, because we don't read text necessarily. You're like, why is the word alimony?

Like, I'm trying to think, what is the scariest word to just see the one word? Why is process server written?

Nobody knows how to spell subpoena correctly the first time. That's, what the heck? Like, you know, it's, because these days we don't often get to a text message from top to bottom. Because so many preview functions and things like that, if somebody has corrected a text, the first thing i'm going to see is the correction right unless i'm reading it in real time we're going back and forth then it works but if it's if i've gone away from the text thing and i come back to it and you have a notification that just says subpoena somebody said but somebody uh again did message me when i was complaining about this a while ago and said it is a setting in the iphone that i apparently can do that will allow me to fix messages that i send you that you send to

that you send to androids what a strange yeah i don't know how how that would work because you'd

think that there'd need to be mutual consent from the from the operating systems but that was that was allegedly the case i haven't put in the time on it but well do you remember like it's something and this is i hesitate to bring this up i want to get to the part about how right we were but um i hesitate to bring this up because i don't understand the technology and i know that a lot of our listeners do but there was that some sort of platform change about it was sometime in the past year it was not that long ago that sort of created some havoc amongst a bunch of um text chains that i am on like the wordle chain and the sports group chain because like they're the the technologies are trying to match a little bit more it's like i think end-to-end encryption is on now with it's not i don't know if it's not sms it's the other one now yeah i'm talking about and i think that might play into all of this like these things um like rcs chat versus sms chat i think maybe is what i'm talking about so maybe it has something to do with that in your phone to make sure that we are you know communicating on the same platform but possible i've reached the end of my um boring understanding or misunderstanding of that just to say the end of your free benjamin franklin.com sms explainer um but we were very right at least at very first glance about about iphone and android sort of share if that's the right word in the u.s iphones have the lead it's about 57 to 43 i'm also seeing more like a almost a 59 to 40 breakdown but worldwide and it is significant android 72 almost 72 versus like uh 27 28 so um yeah worldwide that is an android let me ask you a question that's going to prolong this

unduly i i know that there are a lot of like photography heads who who swear by the like non-iphone type of phones particularly like that is it the galaxy is that the one that has a really

good camera on it or I'll be honest with you Luke I don't know I don't go in for all that stuff those camera wars of a couple of years ago I thought it was a conscientious objector I went to Canada I did I said you know what why can't we all get along and then somebody talked like a pirate and I punch him in the throat I was like oh I guess I'm not a pacifist anymore yeah I uh no I and people I think I've said this on the show before and I got in trouble because listeners said no there is a big difference but i think i think that some of that camera stuff was a little pomp and circumstance for a while okay i want you to complete your thought but i'll try to make this

more of a question than a thought but a refreshing thing i was just obviously cell phone camera

technology is really amazing these days i am not denying that and that it's gotten better and better and better my theory though was once everybody kind of got their phones and locked into their phones whichever kind it was it's more like the marketers are trying to figure out like well, what can we do to entice people to upgrade or buy this one? And while the camera technology is something legitimately to focus on because it is really good, my theory is they also made the actual camera on the outside of the phone more and more ostentatious. I don't know. Like the lenses or whatever? I think if the trend had been let's keep the lenses a little bit more low-key, they had the technology to do that. That's how I feel. And I think some people have written and be like, no, no, it's necessary to have them. I honestly think, though, that it became a trendy thing to make sure that your camera had the biggest, gaudiest looking three lens system on the outside of it.

It also could have been the case. I think you're probably not wrong. Well, two things can be true. It can be both. Yes. Which is probably they are way better as cameras, or at least they were in the early days. And also, and that was the differentiator, or at least that was the thing that the Galaxy and the other phones, primarily I think the Galaxy could kind of hang their hat on. They're like, well, we don't have this full integration of, like, all the Apple shit and everything, but we've noted that we made the camera better, and that's our thing. We're going to really emphasize that. And then also, it could be the case that once they decided that, they started to get real kind of blingy with their lens sort of display and all that. of here's my question and this is where uzi verted somebody stole my i was at rolling loud and crowd surfing and someone stole one of the lenses off of my samsung um i was wondering because this is just what's this is small decisions in life can of course lead to uh sort of long-term uh sort of like i don't know outcomes i guess i am wondering because there's something and i i feel semi-comfortable saying this because you have stated this on the show and i actually really admire this and i and i mean this genuinely i think you and genevieve and maybe in particular genevieve are much more aware of financial priorities than i am and that is to say like just you know you when it comes to technology you think long and hard about what you're going to buy because you really want to get the right thing you don't want it to become obsolete you want it to and you also don't want to overpay like i i admire that i know genevieve applies that to a lot of areas of life do you think you all didn't get on the iphone trend because the

whatever the android version of life was at that time was cheaper no i'm quite sure that wasn't it in fact i am i'm trying to remember everybody was jumping into that iphone pool of in our social

group jump in um i so i i guess the only way i can do this is by kind of retracing my steps first of all you won't be surprised to hear that i was late to getting a cell phone like i love technology but i'm always late to get the technology did veeves have one were you like living together

and like genevieve has a cell phone and you don't have a cell phone was that ever i believe we both

got our cell phones at the same time and they were flip phones and it was um i can't remember exactly the year but we were living in new hampshire and we already owned a home together because i remember the day the phone showed up and i believe we got the same kind but they were the flip phone kind. Was it like a razor? It wasn't a razor. I wish I could remember. God, I think mine was maroon, and I really liked it, and I remember putting the Wu-Tang Clan's cream as my ringtone. What were you, John Heileman? I know, right? I always joke around with Phyllis. What were you, Ari Melberg? Every time I see a white guy with a Wu-Tang shirt on TV, I take a screen cap and I send it to Phyllis because I just have this theory that there are more white guys of a certain age going around with Wu-Tang paraphernalia.

By the way, this Wu-Tang reunion, they're going on tour. You know exclusively the race of people who have told me about it? Hasn't been one black person. Every white friend of mine of a certain age is just fucking geeking out about it.

So, yeah. So, anyway, I remember we had flip phones first, and then I did make it. Here's what I think happened. So I made a transition to a BlackBerry. That one, maybe my first one wasn't this red color. But I remember my Blackberry was like a maroon color, and I freaking loved it. And did it have the tactile keypad? Yes, yes, it did. And I loved that.

Seriously, I would go back to that if it were possible, because I wouldn't be sending you so many junk-sleeped messages if I could have a tactile keypad again.

I remember loving the feel of that, and I'm pretty sure I had that even when I moved to New Hampshire. So if we're really interested in this, which I don't think we are, we now have a timestamp on it would have been i came here in about 2009 right and i still had my blackberry so i'm using a blackberry at that point whatever the newest blackberry is and i love that baby oh it was so beautiful luke it seriously was but then by this point we're talking 2000 maybe 10 11 i don't know when i got rid of it almost everybody was switching over to some sort of a touch screen smartphone right with the screen and i was really nervous i know i've told you this before but i just i could not i couldn't fully go over to giving up my tactile keyboard so i bought one of those things which i think was a g2 and i think this is what got me on the android thing okay i bought one of those g2s that look like you would hold it and it looked like it just was a smartphone with a touchscreen but then it would robot open you would open it up on these hinges just kind of slide it upward up and over sort of and then it revealed a tactile keyboard it was the best of both worlds and I loved that thing and I think that was it that was the G2 which was an Android technology and I think that's what got me on it I can't speak for Genevieve but I'll be honest with you when I buy phones I don't that's one of the things where I don't try to save money at all because I'm like I'm going to have this thing for a long time and so I always get like the Galaxies whatever the latest Galaxy is and it's not a cheap alternative certainly gotcha although i am thinking about going to the google pixel i'm getting very close to getting a new phone or this one breaking or something it's starting to slow down a little bit and i am thinking about for the first time moving away from the galaxy and going into the pixel realm

the funny thing is i of the profligate spending um have since the listeners hipped me to the fact that this phone yeah my iphone whatever era it is all it needed was for me to clean out the pocket lint that was in the like charging port lightning port whatever it's called i'll use this phone for the next 20 years if it'll keep up with everything like i i don't need i don't need more phone or a fancier phone or i don't need something that does more than this phone does i'm really hoping and again this is very unusual for me i am really hoping that this thing just kind of chugs along and and they don't like brick it on me because i that's that's the one and it's funny because it's most oft used and relevant to my life piece of technology that I own. It is my constant companion. It is the it is the portal through which or I should say it is the what's on a submarine what's the thing they look through periscope yeah it is the periscope through which I view the world from under the waters of my depression and yet I just don't feel like I need a fancy phone you know

Like, that's weird considering, you know, how I generally operate.

And I know it's cliche to say this, and again, I think this is probably well-worn territory, but, like, that's the problem with the phones, the technologies, right? Because you can take care of your – like, if you have an old car, you take care of that thing. Conceivably, you can keep it forever, right? But a phone, they have us over a barrel. You can do everything as the consumer to take care of your phone and keep it safe and keep it clean and put the protections on it. But eventually a like that you can run, but you can't hide apps are just going to keep updating and requiring more and more and more, you know, I guess processing power and whatever. And so, like, you're like, hey, I'm fine with the camera on this phone. It doesn't matter. I like, you know, I like the retro look of potato quality photos or whatever. But it doesn't mean anything if you can't, like, open up your Instagram because it's just going to make everything crash. You know, they just stop working after a while because everything else advances.

Yeah. Well, if this lint removal system bought me an extra year with this phone, I mean, I'll take that because I was ready to go out and shell out an e-bike's worth of money on a new phone.

Do you know what generation yours is? Just out of curiosity. I don't know iPhones.

I think I can look this up. It is, hold on, let's go general. This is good. Yes, yes. I'm going to check some audio settings. This phone, it is, I have an iPhone 12. Oh, wow. I think they're on 16 now, man. Model name, iPhone 12. The iOS version I'm on is 18.3.2. I think it just updated that. So am I four generations behind?

I'm the wrong person to ask. I thought they were on iPhone 16. I could be wrong about that, but I did just look it up. My phone came out in March of 2019. Yours came out in October of 2020.

So yours is slightly more. Yeah, and again, you know, Claire, you can kind of hear in my voice a little bit of, you know, what is it, less shame? Because, again, I'm just so given to chasing the new shiny, and this is the one area where I have some, just like an inherent lack of desire to upgrade this past what it does right now. Like, I can't, also, I'm not a big, like, I don't watch movies on my phone. I don't use my phone.

You're not making movies? You know what I mean? You're not, like, making complex ticky-tockies?

No, I'm not. Yeah, exactly. like shot on iphone or whatever you know i'm not i i'm i just it pretty much is something i text from and then something that i mindlessly scroll on that's about the ambition i have for my phone and and that's you know it's capable of all of that stuff so um all right uh can we uh thank some donors and then can we uh please get into this everybody's live with john mulaney because uh i uh i know you as well i've got thoughts and and i want to share them with you or i want i I want to hear your thoughts as well.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

All right, let's get into it. Let's thank these dazzling donors. I don't know if you want to turn that music down a little bit.

Oh, is it you're not hearing it go down? No.

I don't know if the listeners are hearing it.

No, I think that was just what I was sending you. My apologies. Did it duck under there a little bit? No, maybe make it louder. I think maybe it'll get me in the zone. Oh, you know what it was, Luke? It was Bingo walking on my board. At least I have proof of concept, because I was like, why would this not have affected you during the intro music? It's because Bingo took a little walk.

And we've been dealing with some ghosts in the machine, and by we, I mean you, and our Riverside program, and so I'm happy for you when there's a very brick and mortar explanation for something like that.

Yeah, no, that was a button, and I don't think the listeners experienced it. I was just blasting you with music.

I enjoyed it. I love that song. Yeah, it's a good song. Let's start out. Of course, we're thanking the Dazzling Donors. These folks were donating a dazzling amount of dough. Well, let's just say we had a Business Boys meeting yesterday, as we do most Wednesdays, and we were talking about the upcoming THON, and we're just talking about the state of the world and various things, and my dreams that I've been having where I get a report generated of all the people who've had to stop donating.

An actual, literal dream that you had, an anxiety dream.

I believe that would fall in the category of stress dream, if there ever was one. But, you know, for now, this is working, and it's because of folks. Now, Andrew, I'm going to ask for your help on this, because it's somebody named Jamie and somebody named Eric Hamilton. And you have beef with him, do you guys have a history? And Jamie's last name is B-U-G-E-L, and then there's a pronouncer, and it says it's with a hard G. And last week, I really had a very, very hard time with a Gillian pronunciation.

You did it, though. You just did it now. That was great.

Well, so when they say hard G, so this last name is Bugle.

When they say hard G, they mean me when I put cream as my ringtone on my cell phone. They're like, that guy's a hard G.

And by that, you mean the Wu-Tang song, not the Prince song.

That's right, yes. Although, technically, not sure that that was Prince. I think it might have been the artist formerly known as Prince at that point, right? Wasn't he cymbal? Oh, was he in his cymbal phase? I think he was cymbal phase. Are we still honoring that? What is the rule on that?

do we have to like are we well i was gonna make a joke that i don't i don't want to make a joke uh about something that's very real to people but i was like i was just like are we do we owe prince the i don't know what do do we honor prince by by by referring to him as the artist formerly known as during for for things created during the era when he was the artist period right because really he was just trying to get out of his late his record deal right right oh well was

that it actually i said right because my brain was moving on to the next thing i don't know that

i remembered that yeah that was a fight with his record label that makes so much more sense and that was why he did that i think and also because he was insane and the fact that he went with a

and also he was insane he didn't go with robert he went with an unpronounceable symbol oh my god

what if they had just if he would have just gone with robert that would have been he's sitting there on Oprah in his like mustard suit going yeah please call me Robert now I only answered

to Robert by the way this is a this is an aside and I want to be very careful here because sort of like pirate talk I cringe a little bit when people our age are fascinated by how few bands they recognize at the Capitol Hill block party I feel like that's a very cliche conversation to sort of have at our age but it is fascinating to watch year after year after year the lineups come out capitol hill block party is like a music festival that started very relatively small here in seattle literally as a block party in the hip neighborhood and then has grown as the festival experience has sort of grown in the culture it's gotten bigger and bigger and bigger they just released the lineup uh yesterday and that without being cliche about it and being like i don't recognize anybody luke i don't recognize anybody like i feel like every year you can mark your age by the number of it's a ring in the tree of your life exactly what i was thinking and i um there's one specifically this year because there are only not even two but one and a half artists that i recognize on the lineup one of them um is i think it's thundercat right the famous kind of bass player i know that's the only one that i recognize well you recognize the second one only he's not going as anderson pock anymore he's he's got an alter ego and so he's dj-ing as what is it a dj peewee yes so that's why i'm saying one and a half like i'm trying to mix the songs that's the show title and you see porter robinson i know about oh really okay so you're up to you're up to three but you're up to 2.5 but you're going back to the prince oh and i know 100 gex changing his name thing I was kind of like yesterday I'm kind of like couldn't you just give me Anderson Park so I can say I recognize too like you're even the one the one of the only people I recognize on here and you're going under an alter ego just so that you

can confuse me even further it's like Bruce Springsteen is playing the block party but he's going as as Asbury Park it's like which is weird because it's kind of close to Anderson Park but it was the only Bruce Springsteen thing I could think of under pressure i actually kind of i think i might have suggested 100 gex as a music for your weekend back in the day okay it is really really i think i i don't know what even i forget even what the genre is called it's like maybe hyper pop or it's not even hyper pop it's some it's cuckoo bananas but i kind of like it but it kind of also makes me feel like the end of the

world is nigh yeah you did i think you recognize i'm looking up an old email here an old newsletter where we put these things in. You suggested a song called Hollywood Baby, and I'm remembering this now. It's really out there stuff, but I was kind of digging it.

All right, so we've established that it's Jamie Bugle and Eric Hamilton, and that they are in Madison, Wisconsin.

I need to actually, in all seriousness, correct you. I don't think it's Bugle. I think it's Bugel, based on this pronunciation. It looks like the emphasis is on Gel.

Bugel. So once again, Andrew, I have failed you.

If I'm right. I failed Jamie.

I believe you're right. We have established a synapse in my brain that refuses to light up. We have found a dead link in my brain, which is saying hard Gs in names.

Yeah, although this time you got the G right. It was just the emphasis. You said bugle, and I'm saying it's just bugal. oh okay well but either way i think i'm building i'm building towards it but i do think i have some problems with for some reason conceiving of how to say a g in that way when it's in someone's name they're in madison wisconsin and here's what they say thanks for existing thank you uh we couldn't imagine cooking dinner without you all in the background now that is a high compliment yes because to me the dinner cooking time is a sacred space it is particularly as i have like started uh cooking a lot more at home nothing particularly interesting last night it was some steamed rice and some organic black beans and a little uh chopped up avocado and such which is pretty yummy uh but um but but like to me i i have oftentimes i all day i look forward to the moment when i'm going to be cooking dinner the day's kind of winding down uh i'll have like chris's show on or if i've already watched that or if i'm waiting for later maybe i'll have on my you know playing some bonniver or whatever it's just it's a special time and the idea that tbtl for jamie and eric uh is it can be the soundtrack to that is a big honor yeah and for me like you

know some people when you're cooking what do you uh let's see actually yeah probably lebitard or comedy bang bang kind of depending on where i am in my week and like the the content load it is funny how i feel like i'm like a i'm like a week and a half behind on levitard and it's like and and i didn't fast forward through the two episodes where the guy was talking like a pirate like why didn't i just why didn't i just skip ahead like there's so much in front of me like the news the sports news is so old by the time i'm getting to it yet i'm having trouble skipping ahead i'm getting too obsessive i might need to declare bankruptcy and just start with a clean

slate there but i'm so behind on the howard stern show and like i said they put out three episodes a week on a good week when they're doing it it's three a week and i'm like i'm like i'm so so so far behind right now so i can understand for tv now here's the other question for you andrew when you're listening to whatever it might be comedy bang bang or levitard as you're like

making dinner do you have the headphones on it it really depends um usually not and Because first of all, it is first of all, it is a little bit. You like to hear what you're cooking. Exactly. That's why I was curious.

Once Genevieve is being subjected to a certain amount of these programs.

Depending on. Well, that's kind of the thing. And that's what the all these circumstances like come into play. Like if I'm already somewhere else in the house, I'm listening to my podcast with my headphones on. I come upstairs. I could see myself getting well into some dinner prep because I just never took the headphones off sort of. But if I'm kind of like, oh, I've got home from the grocery store. I know I'm going to make it something like I have. i'll probably put a podcast on the speaker but then if genevieve comes in and kind of wants to chat casually i will just shush her i will say you get out of my kitchen and you show the stew got some respect now um i'll i'll probably switch to music you know what i mean i don't like chatting over top of a podcast my brain can't handle that and so if we're gonna have more of a like hey we're in the kitchen we're cooking together i'm probably switching over to some music right that's

I mean, that's – I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that you're not trying to low-key play the podcast in the background while you and Genevieve are having a conversation because –

Not while we're talking, but sometimes if we're not talking, we can sit and not talk forever. Talking or not talking. Veeves has probably – let me put it this way. Veeves has heard and I think to a degree enjoyed more Levitard in the past couple of years certainly than you have. You know what I mean? Like she's pretty damn familiar with the show at this point.

Uh-huh. Okay, so back to Jamie and Eric's message. Here is our plug. This year, Eric launched a new tech support business with the goal of making technology more fun and less frustrating.

I'm just laughing because I just think that we just made technology very frustrating for listeners. And less fun. And less fun, as I'm trying to describe it. We're running the opposite business than Eric is. I'm just saying wildly incorrect things about SMS. I'm so sorry, Eric.

If you or a friend or family are recovering from Andrew's recent speculation on SMS.

If your conversation about SMS lasts for more than four podcasts.

If you or a friend or family member need help with online accounts, apps, or general computer troubleshooting, he can provide remote services across the country. And if you live in the Madison, Wisconsin area, he makes house calls. How cool is that? This is amazing. Honestly, like, for me, if I have a problem with one of my Mac computers, I generally have to go down to Portland. I have to make a genius appointment. I have to go in there. The last few times I've been there, I would say, ultimately, I've gotten somewhat effective resolution, but it's not been without a certain amount of having to, I don't know, kind of like gently nudge the quote-unquote genius.

into really helping me what i feel like i'm starting to hear more and more and i wonder if this is a corporate thing like is well this isn't we don't we don't handle this or this isn't really our thing or this you know what i mean and it's like a computer i bought from apple and it has apple care yeah and it's like and then they'll do it that's the thing like the last time i went down there it was like i had all of a sudden there was no like operating eric would know the term but like there was no like i don't know if it's ram or sms or whatever sms i think but like basically the all the memory on the computer was full it wouldn't function and i brought it and the guy again he eventually got to the problem and he was like i'm not allowed to delete this you can delete it which i also get because he doesn't want to be responsible for it but the it just felt like i didn't walk in and he didn't go oh yeah let me let's let's figure out what's going on he was kind of sleeves yeah he was kind of telling me he puts down his like like he's got some kind of a you know jeweler's eye he's like puts it down and it's gonna like really get in on this it was more like well here's what i here's what i will and won't do and here's what is and is not our responsibility just it didn't feel warm and welcome it didn't feel like when eric comes over potentially to your house and and and takes a holistic approach it's like all creatures great and small okay he's he's james harriet okay he is doing house calls he is bringing these computers back to life he is breach birthing iphones he is reaching into the computer turning the iphone around this is something that happens a lot in all creatures great and small mostly not to spoil it

it's mostly that the calf is backwards inside the cow i again apologies but you clearly did not read ahead it says specifically here eric does not do breach births of iphones i apologize for uh

I apologize, Eric, for oversteadying the case. Alright, anyway, general computer troubleshooting, he can provide remote services across the country, and if you live in the Madison, Wisconsin area, he makes house calls. Check out, here's the important part, the website, Trusted Tech Hub. That's traditional spelling, Trusted Tech Hub, to learn more. And mention you're a 10 for a discount. Dot com. Thank you, Jamie and Eric. Yes, dot com. Dot com. Maestro?

I'm not ready for the maestro. Sorry, I'm going to ask you to... Can you say maestro again? Look, I love the way you say it. Maestro.

On your mark. The silent G. Get set.

Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Hard G? I heard I started to say it. I didn't have the confidence to complete the thought.

Here is the second dazzling donor today that we would like to thank. It's Joe Lamb. It's pronounced bees? Beads. Beads. Now that I can get behind Joe First of all Joe I want to thank you for Having a name that does not involve a hard or soft G If you were listening to the previous 10 minutes of the show You know that it's a problem for me How crazy would it be if Joe wasn't listening To the previous 10 minutes of the show

I was wondering how that would be If he needle dropped right into me reading his name That would be something That would be something Now Joe this sort of feels A little bit like an assignment for us here Are you ready to tackle Joe's

For us, by the way, Joe's in Mesa, Arizona, which I believe means Table, Arizona, right?

Oh, yeah, nice.

And I don't know. I just wanted to point that out for some reason. Well, it does feel like homework for us because Joe says, I don't have a message to read, so feel free to improvise something. But I also have to point out that Joe is giving us money.

Yeah, no. So, no, it's fine.

So it's like, in a way, it's like we're giving the donors homework when they fill out the form. True, yes. And Joe is just, I think, rightfully saying, wait, wait, I'm already giving you money, and so maybe you can do the lift on my dazzling donor message.

Yeah, and so to improvise something. So you're at a— Hold on, I need a name of— You're at a dinner. I need a profession. You're at a diner. You're at a diner, and I'm the server at a diner, but I come from a really— I already hate this. I know it's terrible. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't believe this is how these improv scenes even work.

have you been this is a real question and this is improv you shut up and i'll tell you what your role is okay two things two things this sounds really loaded but i i genuinely want to know this have you because it seems like the kind of thing that you might sort of avoid at all costs have you been to an improv show like have you been trapped or roped into being at an improv show like in your life like let's say from college until now you might be shocked to hear this

And I'm going to try to not get bogged down in the details. Okay. But yes, in high school, me and my friend group were really obsessed with this kind of underground local improv thing. So this is like the 90s. And it was a small little troupe called Guerrilla Theater. And I remember driving somewhere. I think it was like, I think we were driving from the suburbs into the city, I feel like, in some sort of very small. It was a very small, intimate little space where these people did Guerrilla Theater.

I don't know how we heard about it, and we were kind of obsessed for a while. We'd go on weekends, a small group of friends and stuff, and years later, after I'd already kind of gone through college and met a whole bunch of people at WKSU, which was, I was a student, and there were a bunch of, it was a professionally run radio station. I was part of the student program there, and I became friends with a lot of the professionals who ran the place, one of whom was named Betsy. she became a friend of mine in adulthood years and years later i'm gonna say like maybe just a few years ago i found an old guerrilla theater button from my youth that i went to when i was like you know again in high school and i took a photo of it and i posted on social media somewhere i'm like i forgot about guerrilla theater like and i tagged some of my friends in it who we used to go with all the time and then my friend from adulthood betsy was like that was my troop like Like, you were – this is a woman that I knew in adulthood, but we never, ever made the connection that when I was in high school and she was probably in college or maybe freshly out of college, she was actually one of these improv artists that I used to, like, sneak into some underground theater to see. And that's the kind of thing – That's not what you asked, but that's –

No, you did – I asked if – well, wait a second, though. Hold on.

There's a lot – I gave you too much information, but I just find it amazing that –

That is an odd coincidence. I'm not saying that sarcastically, but so it was – was it improv in the sense of, like, give us a prompt and we're going to do this?

Because, you know, like, I really liked Whose Line Was It Anyway? This is the 90s, man. We were all doing, like – we were doing lines of improv, man. We were just like – Fat rails. So, yeah, I mean, I think it was very much – and, again, this felt like a very alternative sort of thing that we were doing, to use kind of a cringey word there.

Now, I was in the alternative to the alternative. i was not in it myself but the world that i was in of improv was it was really big in the christian kid community because as long as the prompts weren't like sex toy which they would probably be at gorilla theater like it could be pretty clean right like it was this it was really that and acapella regrettably uh were really huge in my high school experience again not for me like i I don't remember, I don't think I've ever been in an improv class or troupe. I don't think I've ever tried it. But I do remember it being a thing that we would go do socially. There was something called theater sports. And they would come, they had a, I think they had a location in Pike Place Market. But also there were some sort of offshoots that would come to your, like, high school event and stuff. And it was like, it blew our minds. Like, we just thought it was the coolest thing ever that you could just, like, these people, you know, again, who were like, yeah, probably, they were probably all of 20 and 21. but they seem very old to us, very worldly. They like, you just give them a couple of ideas and then they do a whole scene from it. We just thought it was the frigging best.

Okay, so how about this for a scenario? The Lamb of God is a server in a roadside diner. And here's the thing.

You know what the special is? Lamb.

Oh, see, now we're cooking. Betsy, get at me. Yeah, exactly. We did it.

Joe, we did it. By the way, do you realize that Joe's last name is Lamb? Is that why that popped in my head? I mean, that's all I can think of.

I just thought the Lamb of God was funnier than Jesus of Nazareth, because how do you portray the Lamb?

Do you think that Joe's last name being Lamb was...

It must have been living in my head a little bit, yeah.

That's perfect, though. That really ties it all together, Andrew.

Nice job. You're welcome, Joe. See what good improvisers we are.

Hello and welcome to Top Story. I was so pleased last night, Andrew, when I got a text from you saying, Are you watching Everybody's Live with John Mulaney? I wasn't. I was deep diving on various books related to the Live Wire episode that we're doing tonight at the Alberta Rose Theatre. But it inspired me because what I realized was if I get done with all my prep, get all my questions figured out, then I can reward myself with two things. One, a delicious but relatively low-carb bar of white chocolate from a place that I learned about in the Colombian newspaper called Download Chocolates. It's a husband and wife who make really tasty, simple chocolates that don't have a lot of bad stuff in them. And I ordered them online, and they are prohibitively expensive, but I love them so much. I was like, I'm going to get all my work done. Then I get this white chocolate bar that I like and I'm going to sit and I'm going to watch everybody's live with John Mulaney. And that is exactly what I did until it was 11 p.m. and then I went to sleep. So this was your first time. Did you watch it like in the live experience at seven?

Yes. So for me, like I put it after you were telling me about it on the show, I guess it was probably around this time last week. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Cassie had emailed us about it but you were talking about it on the show and you were telling me all about it and I think maybe in the moment or later that day I put it on my calendar because I'm like I'm never going to remember this but I also knew from what you described of the show like for me the beauty or any enjoyment I get out of it is going to start with the fact that I'm watching it live I just knew that that was going to be it like I did not have any desire to go back and re-watch the episode that you told me about that had been live Instead, I was like, I will put this on my calendar. And then it kind of, of course, I kind of forgot about it. And then yesterday, I got the calendar reminder, like literally like 10 minutes or something before it was supposed to start. And so I was like, okay, yeah, so I'll turn it on. I think I might have been a – I turned it on in the middle of that introduction that you were telling me about. So I just caught the very, very end, which was interesting. So I missed who the guests were going to be. So it was kind of interesting. So I kind of came in not knowing, and that was kind of fun for me. and you told me like it's weird and it's live and they lean into the liveness of it and the awkwardness of it um I will also say I had this little input in my head Genevieve I don't think had heard our conversation about it but she randomly had checked it out and she just kind of said apropos of literally nothing to me a couple of days ago I checked out that Mulaney show and I don't get it it's not for me so I was like okay yeah I said from Luke really likes it and he and I kind of share a a love of like live weird things and even if it doesn't work I'd rather it be i'd rather something be a little rocky and awkward but authentic than really smoothed out you know what i mean like i would never watch fallon right like i have no desire in that at all but if mulaney comes out and not every joke works but it just sort of feels literally forgets the name of the show what's that yes literally forgets the name of the show so which i feel like is a

thing i would i'm not trying to yeah you know center myself with the story but like just quickly last night he he said it's is it called like he literally just i think he forgot if it was

everybody's live or everyone's live yes and he said everyone's live and he had to turn to his sidekick richard kind yeah and say what what is it and kinds of everybody i'm constantly shocked

at how many times i forget critical things about this show like what we call something right it's like how could i forget that we've been doing it whatever you know i i find moments like that

very relatable i guess i really liked that i will say so i guess my my i wanted to start this by asking you a question about your overall thoughts on it but i guess i can't remember what that was anymore so i guess i'll just give you my overall thoughts and we can break it down which is it even even saying that i like things to be rough and awkward it was rougher and that was More awkward than I thought.

I've probably watched five of them. That was off the rails rough.

Shoot, that was the question I wanted to start with with you. Because what I wanted to start by asking before I gave you my impression was, Luke, are you having that phenomenon where you've suggested something to somebody, me in this case, and you turn it on and you're like, this better be a good one. And then you're watching it not live up. Like if you suggest a podcast to somebody and they're like, oh, I tried that podcast that you recommended and it wasn't very good. And you're like, oh, did you listen to this week? You should have listened to two weeks ago. That's like this week was particularly not good. I was wondering if you might be having those thoughts that I picked this one of all shows to begin with.

No, because what I had promoted to you, at least if I remember right, was that this shit's weird. Yeah. And it's live, and if anything, it might err on the side of trying things that might not work. And I feel like it delivered on that promise. It was weird. It's not like I told you to watch I Think You Should Leave, and I'm like, these sketches are so funny, the way that the writing is, etc. I think what I liked about it is taking phone calls on local live television without really knowing how it's going to go. So and whereas in the previous episodes I've watched, I think I said to you something like I feel like the calls are somewhat curated because they usually have a pretty good story. Like if it was a talk radio show and you were throwing the lines open and going, we're talking about cruise ships, somebody who's like, I worked on a cruise ship and there was a dead body and the refrigerator was full. So we had to leave him in his room. That's a good story. Like, I don't think that that story comes in accidentally.

Yeah, somebody's clearly screening these. He's got an iPad there next to the phone, and he's reading. He kind of knows what the caller wants to say, which is good.

I have a feeling that even though they flash a phone number, which, by the way, I love, and they're like, you know, what is it, like, you know, messaging rates apply, or they put something under it that's just, like, so funny, as if calling the 323 is going to cost you extra on your cell phone. Then they have a person calling in who's on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean. Again, I don't think that person randomly calls in. Like, I tend to think that they set these calls up somewhat in advance, but then there is

still a huge element of unpredictability because in this case the calls were pretty bad like the people were confused the people couldn't hear i also think there was a technical issue there was some technical issue that first caller couldn't hear the guests the guests were trying to break

in sorry like i'm doing over you well it was so awkward though like they the the phone guest wouldn't stop talking because they couldn't hear that the everybody on the stage was trying to

talk to them and that was rough the people on the stage were like so the first two guests are ben stiller i do i do love this it's so funny because i don't know if it's ever worked yet on any of the shows i've watched but the premise is they pick a topic yesterday was cruise ships uh the week before it was loaning friends money and then they invite out a famous person and a person who's an expert on the subject so uh last week it was michael keaton and a financial advice columnist because the topic was loaning friends money this week it was ben stiller and a woman who is a cruise uh industry uh sort of expert i think she was an editor for a cruise ship like industry magazine of some sort yeah i think and and and so it's such an it's such a random pairing now the problem i would say we don't have to get we have to break this down moment by moment i would say a part of the problem with this particular pairing was ben stiller other than his parents being on love boat has never been on a cruise here's what i realized in a certain way cruising i wouldn't say it's it's coded along class lines but it's coded along taste lines because what i noticed is ben stiller has never been on a cruise and nick kroll has never been on a cruise one of the other guests why they don't not the kind of people that go on cruises and quinta brunson was

like i will never go on a cruise she i by the way i i've always kind of liked her to the degree that i've watched a little bit of abbott elementary what i've seen i really liked and i maybe have seen a little bit of her but that was probably the most exposure i had to her just like chilling i might be slightly in love like she is awesome she is so great she's really great i thought she

kind of to the degree that that segment could be saved i thought she kind of saved it she brought it man yeah and how about when samo comes out did you things kept happening i mean it really felt

Did you see the court sketch artist? Just an over-the-shoulder shot of a court sketch artist, never commented on. They put it on the screen for five seconds, and it's just somebody who is sitting in the front row of the audience doing a courtroom-style sketch of everybody who's on stage. They never come back to it or explain it at all.

How about the guy who was reading Joan Didion in the audience? I mean, it really is. I think what's happening, and I'm sorry if you haven't watched this, and it's just Andrew and I just going, and what about that, and what about that? Like this might be kind of boring But like what it really feels to me Is like a bunch of people And I'm sure the writers are so much younger than me So this premise kind of falls apart But my sense it feels to me like a bunch of people Who geeked out on They probably watched a bunch of old Conan on YouTube They're probably 33 And they were like comedy nerds Who grew up watching Or maybe Tim and Eric And like their comedy inspirations Are like Just a lot of just kind of unexplained like bits and stuff and this thing is just full of these moments that are just like they they don't try to connect them to anything like their commercials are so interesting to me or their breaks i guess you'd call it so the show is john mulaney comes out he does a he does it like a two joke monologue he and richard kind go into this totally made up thing because i googled it about how during their the week in between last show and this show they had started a tiktok trend called psychoing where they put two zins in their mouth and drink a celsius which what is a celsius

by the way is that it's an energy drink that's

supposed to be it's supposed to energize you so much that you literally lose weight from it because your body oh so it's a really strong metabolizing at such a rapid pace it sounds healthy yeah um so they do this like totally ridiculous bit uh and and uh and then john mulaney like uh does another couple of things and then by the way flashes of tbtl they go into another bit where richard kind's thing is he's getting the news the day before everyone else we just had a early edition yes i was gonna say are they listening i

know but i was just like how are they going on an early edition riff we just went on an early

edition exactly it's like and you know what it there's worked about as well as ours honestly

ours might have been a little bit better and i believe our riff was do you remember that show i gotta say like that was i love them going for it but that was tough that was the idea was

richard kind gets the news the day before and he's got to save people but the news he's getting is like it's like it's like 24 summer pasta meals to really make your picnic or something like you know one of those just like new york times cooking whatever but but they don't really explain how he has to stop it or why

The pasta is going to like it's sort of it's it's it's a funny joke to me that like, what if the guy in early edition was getting the totally non-important part of the newspaper?

Yeah. And that is a good premise. That was the premise. But then they really and again, there was no I don't want to tell them to polish it up too much because I do believe that the thing that we love about the show or will love about the show is that it's rough and it is sort of not overthought. But that one could have used a little bit more cooking, a little bit.

So then they bring Ben Stiller and this cruise expert out, and again, it's like Ben Stiller has never been on a cruise, and he's trying to help. I mean, I can see the gears turning in Ben Stiller's head. He is trying to be a good talk show guest. So he's never been on a cruise ship, which you'd think, again, you know, I think that probably something like Fallon, it's pre-interviewed to death. Yes. But like, one question, have you been on a cruise? So then, like, how would it be that John Mulaney's asking Ben Stiller, have you been on a cruise? And the answer is no. Right. Is there no pre-interview? And then he's trying to talk about the fact that his mom and dad were on the love boat, which is, by the way, a pretty funny, interesting thing. You could have expanded on that. It didn't really get expanded.

And then he's like, oh, did you ever visit your parents when they were on the set? And Ben Stiller was like, no. Some sets, but not that one. And then he waits, and he's like, well, some sets, but not that one. And then it's like, okay, can we roll with that? Can we say, well, what sets did you have any memories? But it was just like he's – Mulaney is asking yes or no questions, and then just accepting no.

And Mulaney's also doing this thing where he's like, fabulous. I can tell, I could see, because I am also a host of shows at a much lower level of prestige. I've never tried to host a live, I've never been, apparently. So I can't even imagine what the pressure would be. But I could tell that Mulaney was in a bit of a free fall. There was a period at which he was only answering, it's fabulous. Oh, we love it. It's fabulous. Like, he's on total autopilot. what's happening is the uh the the backside of his brain is furiously thinking how do we save this where are we going with this what's happening next what am i doing here and the front side of his brain which has to do the talking part is just going into like like ben sterling will say like yeah the poseidon adventure uh you know and then i really love that movie yeah it's fabulous it's like he's in total autopilot because he's just he's he's just trying to fix things and it's not really working but again this is kind of the also the the cruise ship expert was clearly a shill for the cruise industry which is kind of funny because like uh somebody's trying to ask like about you know if the captain has to go down with the ship and the asking about cruise disasters and it's very clear that this woman doesn't want to talk cruise disasters because she wants to promote the industry she's like uh well cruise disasters almost never happen and it's like okay but you

know it was very much the front fell off like it was so you know that sketch that we play from that old 1970s british like fake news show i'm blanking out their names now but we've played the intro tape quite a bit people probably hopefully know what i'm talking about but like well the front fell off the tanker well the front doesn't fall off most tankers does it it's like they were almost doing that she's like well all she like gets back to the corner of saying well like i guess all ships could potentially sink at some point but we haven't had a cruise ship sink and it was she was she had a smile on her face and she was definitely game i don't think she was put out but like nobody on the stage was setting up experience with cruising or or setting each other up for success in a talk show setting in a conversational setting like every from mulaney asking yes and no questions in which he's getting a lot of no's which is very unhelpful to like just i not until quinta comes out there does anybody sort of feel like i need to sort of grab the reins of this thing a little bit and sort of like like get everybody talking around the same page it was it was it was amazing at how bad it kind of was but i kind of liked seeing it i would not have enjoyed watching it if it wasn't live like and one of them i would only do it if

it was live because i felt like anything could happen here when when things couldn't seem to get more kind of i don't know stilted or disjointed this like delivery robot called say mo comes out and which by the way those things are all over LA right now like I see them all the time when I'm there and it's not like a you know like a bit it's not a novelty that's exactly the word I'm looking for like I was we were filming something I don't know a few months ago at the um uh at the not the comedy store but anyway one of the stand-up comedy clubs in LA we were filming um something with Nikki Glaser and I look out the window and I just see like a flag like an orange like triangle flag kind of going by and i thought maybe it was somebody on a recumbent bicycle and so i kind of look out the window and it's just a cooler on wheels that's just going down the street on its way somewhere to deliver some food so one of those things comes onto the stage and like john mulaney opens it and this was again just a moment of like it's really I can't wait. clear that they are not over preparing for this or they're not over obsessing on the details it's like it's unclear to him i think what exactly is going to be in the same o he opens it and he finds a thing of dramamine and you can tell that this is the first time that he's learning that this is he goes oh yeah somebody put some dramamine in here really funny holds it up like to one of the producers like okay and then it's got a bunch of just like beverages in it but they've the term is greeked which just means like you can't show a coca-cola on this show unless you get coca-cola to agree so you you you put a pretend label that just says cola and all of the drinks have been greeked which also seems like it's news to john mulaney and then he's just saying what they really are he's like this is obviously orange gatorade or whatever yeah yeah he's like handing them out

to people no one takes a drink i love the way that he's like thumbing his nose at the whatever producers did that he's like these have all been greeked well you can greek it all you want this

clearly orange gatorade again and that's like a little moment that like i kind of love even though it's in the midst of this total chaos and then this is about the time andrew when i uh realized i needed to get some shut eye so that's where my uh awareness of what happened on the show kind of

ends what did i miss well first of all did you see like right in that moment too like ben stiller like takes the label off and secretly shows it to quinta he's like yeah this is just coke and i don't know if i heard him say coke or not but he literally he peel you and he just sort of peels it back quickly by the way at times the camera was going out of focus i saw that quickly like shoot to um they had to switch over to richard kind even though richard kind wasn't doing anything only because it was a camera that was working i kept seeing that focus pull i was like what's going on yeah they were like having all kinds of issues and again so okay some more like kind of broad um thoughts on this was the the calls you tapped out there were more calls and I was kind of bummed to hear before the show and you and I were chatting that you didn't hear this one because it's it's sort of like, again, so relevant to some of the work that you and I do and have done. Like they're taking these calls from people, but they want the calls to be authentic. Right. And so they're talking. Sometimes there's technical issues, but, you know, they're joking around with people. But one guy calls in. He's like, OK, I got a story for you. And like you can just tell that he's a guy who loves his stories, you know, and it starts off. okay but he's saying this and he's explaining how there are emergency codes for all the ships and like for example code alpha would mean we have this going on and so somebody has to come clean this up or in code and it's unclear where he's going but he just keeps on adding more and more detail and i understand this is coming from me but he just keeps adding more and more detail to this story and it really does sound like he's told the story a whole bunch at one point malaney just starts doing the like let's move faster like he starts spinning his finger in the air for everybody to see like let's get this guy going here there at one point he says listen you're given all the color and not enough story and ben stiller starts laughing and now they're all like sort of outwardly like making faces as this guy is telling a story on a phone line and then eventually like john mulaney's like you know get to the point get to the point he's still adding little details john mulaney says you know what you know what and he just takes his finger and he slams it down and he hangs up on the caller which i've talked to you about that before too like the idea of yeah you love that i kind of like the i have a fantasy that that we host a show where we could be a little bit more sharp elbowed about it because i kind of love it don't make that the tradeo show when a talk when a talk show host is just kind of like you know what this isn't working goodbye be be a better caller next time you know and like that and then he's like i'm sorry i i'm sorry he was telling a yarn he's told it too many times he's added he's like kind of talked to the guy after he's hung up you've told that story too many times you've added too many details to it i can tell it's a yarn and we don't have time for your yarn right now and then that's a decent moment and then kroll who you know those guys are like just go way really close friends and collaborators collaborators for a long time says did did that really make you nervous like during that call are you really nervous and I think I think Kroll was saying like just during that whole

thing are you nervous while this guy is rattling on but Mulaney is more like was I nervous to hang up on him and Mulaney's like yeah yeah I'm like I might have just deprived the world of a wonderful story with a wonderful end but I had to make a decision and yes that makes me incredibly nervous and again that sort of speaks to I love the raw live nature of this but they're also just like sort of but there were just so many awkward pauses though where people didn't know if they should speak or yes in a way that i feel like what the show needs to do is keep doing exactly what it's doing but just get a little bit more comfortable don't i don't want to see the show get overthought right but just get a little bit more comfortable with silence here milaney will become more like second nature as he takes a phone call like you said all you can see his brain working like you

said like you can see him and i love the fact that like he'll just look down at the phone like he just stopped he doesn't think like a host he's not always looking at the camera and grinning he just looks like he's i got work to do when he's like looking down as he's screening his phone calls or whatever dude needs a haircut by the way him and mark s from severance i want to

give them both a haircut i don't know if i feel like mark s's is a weird it's an aesthetic choice within the world of severance, and I hate it.

Yeah, he's going through something, yeah.

I hate his hair so much. I want to give him a shower so bad. By the way, also a Ben Stiller production. Oh, I know. What's the through line in all this? Is Mulaney getting his hair tips from Ben Stiller? We don't know.

One of the callers made some cure joke, actually. Kind of jammed it in there, you could tell, and Stiller kind of gave him up. By the way, quick aside, a dazzling detail that I learned, and I'm going to mess up some of the details. I don't know if you can be my man behind the computer and clean this up a little bit for me. But you've seen, and by the way, I think this is, I'm pretty sure this is spoiler free. You've seen the episode of Severance that takes place in Salt's Neck, right? Yes. And you remember the diner scene. Yes. And there's only like, I believe, two customers of the diner, an older woman and an older man. And the older man is sitting at the table and has an interaction with the, it's like our improv thing. it has an interaction with the guy who runs the diner that guy who's sitting at the table is apparently the guy who wrote Permanent Midnight the book I think that might be Jerry Stahl

which is the movie that Ben Stiller played Jerry Stahl in

and Ben Stiller played Jerry Stahl so I'm pretty sure maybe you can double check me on this I would have never known that name off the top of my head I didn't know you knew it that well and he's the creator of Elf isn't that what Permanent Midnight was about like how he was dealing with drug addiction while he was making this new puppet-based TV show for the network.

That part I didn't know, but Andrew, I can confirm. Jerry Stahl, the author of the memoir Permanent Midnight, appeared in a scene in Severance, season two, episode eight, at the Drippy Pot Cafe. Drippy Pot.

That's kind of interesting, right? Like Ben Stiller played that man. Yeah, I totally missed that. He's like, I played you in a movie kind of about your life, and now I'm going to put you in my TV show.

It's clear they've stayed in touch, right?

I guess you should say. Yeah, I thought that was cool. Can I come back to Mulaney and just say one other thing? Because I'm worried about the show getting too polished, but it could use a little bit of, like I say, a little bit more comfort. But the thing that, honestly, the thing that I think was the funniest was the pre-recorded thing, which bums me out because I love the liveness of it. But when he says we're going to go to a break, and I'm like, what? They have breaks? What are they going to a break for? and it's at first you think it's a commercial or then you're like wait is this a psa because it's a rabbi and he's just how great was that rabbi dude he was great did you see both of the breaks with the rabbi because they come back oh i only saw the first one it's so great so it's just like kind of a rabbi and kind of just like documentary style but like kind of like tv commercial you know kind of faux documentary style i guess i would say he's kind of talking about what it's like to be a rabbi and he's sitting there in what is i assume to be his temple and there's some like kind of shots of the temple some establishing shots and he's just kind of talking about the

nature of yeah and man and a rabbi isn't what i am it's what i do yeah and you're like where's this

going he's like i'm dave he's like when i go to sleep at night i dream as dave not a rabbi a rabbi is what i do and and he's kind of being very thoughtful but you're like where's this going and then he says you know i like regular things like movies and then whoever is like kind of behind the camera off mic for red october what kind of movies do you like and he's like well i like you know a like crimson tide oh crimson tide sorry and then he starts describing crimson tide and then you're like you're just like in this temple listening to this rabbi who's a very relatable down to earth like very likable guy just describing the plot of crimson tide then they start throwing in clips of crimson tide to punctuate what he's saying eventually to the point and i don't know if this was in the first section or the when they come back to it eventually it's almost like drunk history where he's saying the lines and they're showing the characters showing saying the lines you know but it's his voiceover and then it's just like why are we listening to this guy going to great detail about this movie and then he eventually ends with him saying you know he's discussing the plot and how both characters were who were at odds were both right and both wrong I guess it's a line in the movie like somebody says you were both right and you were both wrong or something and And so that kind of brings it back to sort of like a religious or philosophical outlook. And then somebody off camera says, yeah, but Gene Hackman was wrong. And he's like, I'm not here to defend Gene Hackman's character. And then it just, I don't know, maybe it has a slightly softer ending than that. And I'm like, I still don't know what I'm watching, but it's so good. And I could. I was transfixed. The first one, so I didn't see where he's talking about Gene Hackman to that degree, but the first one, which I did see, I thought was the highlight of the entire show. It was so bad. Because one of the things he mentions is that he remembers Denzel Washington's character's name in the movie, and he just goes, like, kind of, like, off the top, he goes, why is it that I remember that name and not people in my congregation? And then he says something like, Terry will tell you, and he's, like, pointing to somebody who's off camera, who's clearly, like, works at the temple with him. And that's it. Cut. like it's it was so genius like that and i i'm gonna literally go back and watch the second one now but that first little interstitial with this rabbi apropos of not cruise ships like apropos of nothing nothing i thought was perfect television it was so amazing and that's

why i hesitated to say that that was my favorite part because that was something that was pre-recorded and not live and it was you know integrated into the live show but i would be bummed if like the show took a lesson and said well all of our best stuff is actually the stuff we pre-record so let's just do an snl thing where all of our viral stuff was like kind of pre-taped stuff i i i liked the mix of things they gotta keep it live but i gotta say i'm with you that was the jewel of the

show it's i am i i agree with you as well andrew which is uh you know the the natural inclination after watching that is to say like you need to okay here's what we need to do we need to pre-interview the guests more we need to make sure that the topic we pick is is the guests have something to say about it let's just make sure they have like a five minute anecdote and then you just you have fallon pretty soon i think why it's uncanny the whole thing is because john mulaney is very famous it is a there's a high level of production to the show in a certain way in that you know it feels like one of those shows the tonight show fallon one of these things um but it's trying to be the Chris Gethard show and it's that the idea of squaring and the reason why when you watch the Chris Gethard show or clips from the Chris Gethard show where it is complete lunacy it's like Chris Gethard is playing a game where he has to where somebody does two truths and a lie about someone who's his actual friend and if he picks the wrong thing a martial a mixed martial artist punches him in the stomach you know that's like next that's a borderline Gigi Allen shit going on but because as the viewer when you're watching the chris gethard show which if you don't know this public access show that this guy chris gethard has done for years i don't think it's might actually be on some something more legit these days but it's a total free-for-all but you go in with that mentality what's what's what's uncanny about the mulaney thing is it's trying to be more or less a free-for-all but it's it exists within this set that we identify with the dick Cavett show or things that are a little bit more formalized. But I agree with you, it would be a mistake in my opinion for them to try to get, for them to try to get rid of the rough edges because then they'll just end up with a regular talk show. Like they have to, it can only have its great moments if it also has its terrible moments.

And do you remember when we were talking about Like TBTL. Right. Well, eventually we'll have a terrible moment. Do you remember when we were talking about the Super Bowl and the Kendrick Lamar halftime show and I had mentioned to you that. The thing that I famously liked and you were like, not for me. And I said I don't know. Not for me. No, I told you that I had this experience. It was a little black for you, right? I had this experience while watching it as a fan of Kendrick, but also just knowing there was just so much going on in the world. And I know that Kendrick has a lot to say about what's going on in the world. I was just like my heart was beating out of my chest the moment that halftime show began. Like I was just like, I don't know what's going to happen here. It's going to be live. and I just was like literally on the edge of my seat leaning forward when that performance began. I didn't have that much of a physiological reaction to this but because it was live, I found myself standing up a lot. I was sort of like pacing at times and I had this energy and now I want to talk about the musical guests a little bit too because that was part of it. I didn't know who was going to be on because I missed the opening credits and so when they introduced Kim Gordon, I'm assuming, and we can get into it in a second.

Oh, I want to talk about that with you as well.

Yeah, I kind of assume, I was like, oh, if Luke's watching this, I'm guessing that he probably is not super into this music. I could be wrong.

I actually really like that song.

Did you like that Kim Gordon song, that one where she lists everything in her bag? Yeah. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that song, too. I'm glad you liked it. I love whatever is the electronic-created sound, whether that's a keyboard or whatever, just an absolute guttural quality.

I thought that the drummer might be the lead singer of Big Thief, Adrian Lenker. It's not, but it's a person who looks a lot like Adrian Lenker. Is Adrian Lenker friggin' drumming for Kim Gordon? That would be amazing. It's somebody named Matty Vogt, by the way. But anyway, I thought the drums were friggin' sick in that song.

That was amazing, and I don't know if you—I had known that song. I knew the studio version of that song, or I know the studio version of that song. I was like, oh, man, this is Kim Gordon. I was a huge, huge Sonic Youth fan in, like, high school and college. And so I'm like, Sonic Youth. Kim Gordon's here. That's awesome. So she plays this song off her latest solo record. And I also thought it was really interesting that they tossed to the musical guest so early. And I'm like, that's so great. And that I've produced talk shows before where I really fought to shake up like the preconceived notions of what a format needs to be like. The talk shows have been going on forever. And you know that the musical guest comes in and like kind of the back half of the show to break things up. And they went to Kim Gordon very early on, then came back and did more bit.

Right. That was what I forgot. So they did the monologue and then the first bit about the Zins, and then they do a musical performance, and then they come back and do the early edition bit.

Yes. And then they tossed to another musical guest, Kim Deal, who I'm also a huge fan of. And I mean, I used to geek out on both of these kind of artists and their bands back in the day. And I know that like there was a I think it's a pretty obscure reference, but Kim Deal and Kim Gordon did do one record together once. Oh, wow. I don't know if that wasn't Ladies Who Lunch. I get confused with that. It might have been Free Kitten or something, but I know that they did one record together way back in the day. And I felt like a kid again. I was like, I don't know if Luke is going to like these songs. They both played songs off of their most recent solo records. But then at the very end of the show, both Kims got together to perform together a song from, I think, 1995's or 1994's Washing Machine, a song that I hadn't heard since probably 1996 or something like that. And, you know, I'm always a little protective of it because I like Sonic Youth, but also I do sometimes think that the lyrics—

You'll be surprised to hear it was a little over my head. The lyrics can be a little— Other than like Bull and the Heather or whatever their most accessible thing was.

But I hadn't heard that song in so, so long. and just to be like I can't explain it but I was like I'm this middle aged guy standing in my basement like literally standing and sort of feeling a rush watching the two Kims have a reunion on this weird ass show and I know I just keep saying this like that seemed like a really special moment to me that would not have seemed special if this was a pre-recorded show that Netflix said hey you guys should watch this show that we pre-recorded and both Kims are going to be playing you know what I mean like Or if it was an element of surprise in the fact that it was happening in front of my eyes as it happened.

And I would say, or if it was happening on Jimmy Kimmel. You know, I'm a big Kimmel fan, although he did snub me on the black carpet, which has damaged our relationship. I think in a kind of in only one direction in that he has no idea we have a relationship. Weirdly, One Direction didn't snub you on the black carpet. No. Great guys. Harry, the boys, Zayn Malik. Oh, absolute just champs. But, uh, but like had it been, you know, at the end of Kimmel, so we've had the whole, I guess it is like, and now from the whatever, because I think now in Kimmel they might even have some other stage, sometimes they'll do it outside the music, but like you were saying, the music being kind of, sort of like, I think, here's what I think the truth is, I think a lot of, um, and I know this because if I'm being, uh, if I'm being honest, we do it with Livewire a little bit. Music is very polarizing And music has a high tune-out factor Sometimes people really like it But a lot of times people tune out And so what a lot of shows do is they put the music at the end Because if you're going to turn it off They'd like you to have watched as much of their show as possible So if you're going to bail They'd like that to be the problem of the show that comes after them Which is why this happens at the end of the show usually Unless it's, you know, Ariana Grande or something Ariana Grande But So like Had it been in the normal context of a talk show And now they're touring together And it's just you know Jimmy Kimmel's introducing Kim Gordon and Kim Deal It would have been sort of cool but it would have felt different Than like for some reason Even though programmatically it probably doesn't make any sense I absolutely love The fact that it was like the first thing They went to out of the bit Like that makes no sense But it just it signals to me And again it's clear that I have like way more thoughts about this than a normal person because, again, I do like a, I do a kind of a poor person's version of this or whatever, but it's like it's such a format breaker. It makes and it, what it tells me as a viewer and again a viewer who, who obsesses over this stuff is like these guys degaff they kind of don't give a fuck about what the convention is and that just, even if I don't get it, I'm loving that they're doing it that way. Again, this is something specific to me and what I do for job stuff.

And it's almost like they're challenging you a little bit. Like, no, we are going to do this. And, you know, I was thinking later, because I kind of had a little buzz from watching the show. I was also, like, huffing a lot of ether.

Was that and the paint?

Wait, I'm trying to think. What was the buzz? No, I did have a little buzz. Have you been visiting Salt Neck? Exactly. But I had a little buzz after the show, and I was like, well, I mean, am I being totally silly about this? Like, aren't all the late-night talk shows live? I was like, no, they're not. Like, I knew. from a pretty early age that even the east coast viewing that was pre-taped usually in the kind of late afternoon and then turned over pretty quickly like i don't know the history of all of these things so maybe i'm wrong about this but like maybe early letterman was like legit live live

but i know that like by the era of the coast it's it's it's an impossibility for it to be live live

for me on the west coast these days it's definitely not live you know it hit the east coast three hours earlier and even for the east coast i'm pretty sure those things aren't live live i think

they're a while ago and it was definitely not happening at 11 30 at night so that's why i still

sort of feel like there there was something about the malaney experience that and one thing that quinta did that also like sort of underscored this feeling was at one point i actually thought this was kind of a highlight i don't know if you saw this it was a highlight of the chat part where they're like wait a second i think it's ben stiller this is one of the only funny things he said he said so if somebody goes to netflix right now is this the only thing they can watch emma laney's like no sadly no they can watch and then they can watch suits like i don't know but we should ask them if they can make that happen and then um and then quinta's like yeah this is live right she pulls out her phone she's like look guys i have it like we're live on the show and she holds her camera up to the she holds her phone up to the camera and you can sort of see them live on the couch it was like so good and i was like yes it just made you feel like this is a

little messy but we're kind of all in this boat together i am so happy that you uh again i don't know if enjoyed is too strong of a yeah definitely a thing for it but i love that i love that you you know uh you vibed with this and here's the thing and then we we got to get the blurs days

Oh my god, yeah, we're going super long

But we got some special recordings to do later too So we gotta keep this thing on track But unlike the Mulaney show We don't have endless amount of time, Andrew, here To pull drinks out of Samo But my question is Do you think if we watched it live And we called that phone number There would be any chance of getting through?

I was tempted at one point To call just to see what the experience would be like yeah but it i just first of all i wanted to see the show and i didn't want to be kind of distracted by my phone thing and um also i in the moment i i couldn't even tried to come up with something improv i could have improvised something about cruise ships you know what i mean if it was lending money or if it was something that i could have at least even thought i have the tiniest bit of something to say to even like test the waters i'm calling in i might have tried it but i was Like, I got nothing on cruise ships, absolutely nothing.

I was just curious. First of all, is it a busy signal? Like, because, I mean, it's Netflix. Millions, maybe not millions, but a lot of people are watching this. They're seeing the phone number. If 2% of them, no, if 0.02% of them pick up that phone, is it like the old days of trying to call a radio station or trying to call talk radio on a busy day and getting a busy signal? Do you get, I'm going to dial it, and probably not next week because I'm going to be in New York, but maybe the following when I'm back home. I want to just call it to hear what the phone does when you call that number.

Do you have any desire to hear what it sounds like when you call it off hours, like right now?

Yeah, why not? Can we?

Yeah, let me just see what happens. You happen to have the number? I just looked it up while you were talking. Let me see. I think this will work.

We're just going to play the Wang Chung song To Live and Die in L.A.

I'm not 100% sure I have this set up right, but hopefully I do. Let's see.

I'm calling the number that flashes on the screen during everybody's live to see. I don't know why I'm resetting.

I know you're trying to buy me some time because this is live, too. Hold on, Samos here. It's funny. It says it's calling, and I'm not hearing anything, which means something might have gone haywire, which is weird because we're able to place phone calls. Okay, read me the number. Oh, that's right. You can just use your cell phone. I was trying to run it through the system. Which would have been better. Try 323-918-1441. Okay, let's see here. That bums me out. I don't know if the number's not working. The wireless customer you called is not available at this time.

Please try your call again later. Announcement one.

Huh, well.

First of all, the wireless customer. Let me just double check. I want to make sure.

I might have the wrong number. I got that off of Reddit.

Somebody was like, no. Because if that is the number and it's a wireless customer, that's crazy to me. Like, that makes me think that, like, they're not even trying to actually take calls. But maybe, like I said, in the coming weeks, we can try to dial it in real time just to see what happens. I would be beyond shocked if there was a mechanism for calling in. Although maybe, I mean, maybe.

The best way to get calls on this topic is to just start doing the show and then just draw from the largest possible, you know, that's the most people that are ever going to be seeing this announcement is when the show is happening. So maybe that's the way to do it. By the way, if I had to give a cruise ship story, it would have just been the fact that, and I've been on three cruises, which is kind of a lot. It would be the fact that on the most recent one, the one that you and Genevieve helped get me on because I had forgotten my passport. the one thing i was supposed to bring with me um and you guys kindly broke into our friend's house and took a photo of it was that on that cruise ship there was a daycare and the daycare by day turned into the dance club at night which was called dr frankenstein's that's right which was the funniest thing because dr frankenstein's was the drunkest most debauched it was where you would end up on this cruise ship when they had cut you off from your unlimited drinks for the day it was all you could drink up to a point and we spent most nights at once we'd hit the wall on our all you could drink we would go see if they'd give us more at Dr. Frankenstein's which you'd look around and if you squinted if you looked through the strobe lights you could see like a jimboree and shit it was also where the babies were in the daytime

I'm sorry it's Dr. Frankenstein's Monsters that is sorry

There's a right way to rock And a wrong way to roll You can just listen to your soul Just remember that life is number one You can be having so much fun Just remember that life is much fun You can be number one

All right. We got a heck ton of Blurs days today. We're going to start here with Anya who says, oh, this is Anya, by the way, who wrote in to answer my question about radios and whether or not they burn more batteries when you play them more loudly. Anya says, it's your physics professor listening again. I'm listening to you guys discuss that March 14th seems like it should be a holiday. Well, March 14th is a day to celebrate. It's Pi Day. It also happens to be my 11, Maddie's, birthday, who turned 11 this year. She was born at 413, which is pie backwards, and her birth mass was 3.14 kilograms. Oh, come on. She is my pie baby, needless to say. You don't believe in a dog? Says Maddie gets pie for her birthday instead of cake, and I got pie tattooed on my arm. That is really cool. Happy birthday, Maddie.

Becca reminded me of this, which is, like, this whole kind of, I don't know, this, like, I'm such a geek is a little, can be a little overplayed. It can be the talk like a pirate. But, like, if I needed confirmation that my girlfriend is, on some level, deeply pretty geeky, she was like, are you doing anything for pie day? I was like, are you, have you met me? First of all, I don't know what pie is. What does one do? You eat pie? It must be three. I think that that's the deal. I go, oh, is it three, one point four? She goes, it's three point one four. into infinity or whatever I was like oh okay like so one person in my in my relationship is keeping the home fires burning on pie day nice well happy birthday to

Maddie yay Maddie all right Ariel says happy 34th birthday to Jake you've avoided all I've thrown at you for yet another year we'll see if you make it to 35 oh wow with love and a watchful eye Your wife and partner in life, Aria. Happy Blurs Day, Jake. Donna in Fullerton, California says, I feel silly wishing a happy birthday to myself, but I'm turning 80 on March 20th. Hey, that's today. That's Donna. That's a golden Blurs Day, as we say. That's incredible. Donna says, woo-hoo, I'm alive. I've listened faithfully since hearing Luke do Awesome, not awesome, on Madeline Graham's KPCC show. Oh, my God, that worked. So many changes, so many shows, so much fun.

Donna, thanks for sticking with us.

Yeah, no kidding.

Happy Blurs on 80. That is really, really cool.

We heard from Anya. Now let's hear from Anna, who says, Happy Blurs Day. Hauser. That's our bell. Hauser. I haven't seen Hauser. Hauser, let's get a play date on the calendar, okay? Anna says, happy Blurs Day to Hauser. Now that I'm no longer the beneficiary of your life insurance plan, I'm grateful for every year that you grow older. Cheers to 47. Oh, to be young and 47 again. Ben says, I forgot to get a Blurs Day. in this time last week. I had one job to wish you a happy Blur's Day before it was your birthday. I totally forgot, and I'm sorry. I hope 39 is a victory lap of your 30s. Happy birthday. Now, I don't want to be cruel, and I don't want to be sharp-elbowed, as I said before. But, Ben, I would maybe say you had two jobs, one to send in the Blur's Day and also to include the name of the person that you were Blur's-ing. I'm hoping that the person who is turning 39 years old or turn 39 years old, hears this and know that you are speaking to them. Happy Blur's Day to that person. Christina says, Happy birthday to my partner in life, an adventure and cough. Okay, I've messed this up. We're starting over. We're starting over.

We're going on a journey, Andrew. Going on a journey, a life journey

with this relationship. Why don't you take me on a sea cruise? You like that song growing up?

Is this what a boat sounds like to you? I'm curious because we need to promise it.

Oh, yeah, that's a train.

Actually, you know what? That could be a steamer. I thought it was a steamer.

It was supposed to be a train whistle. Yeah, no, it's a train. Okay, Christina says, I'm going to slow down a little bit. Happy birthday to my partner in life and adventure and coffee-drinking time, Alex. Can't believe what a rocky time it has been in the world, but there's nobody better to be going through it with than you. I'm very excited for our family's first five and for you to become a TBTL daddy in both meanings. Let the fun begin. Love, Christina. Congrats to both of you, and happy Blur's Day to Alex. Sweet. Very sweet. Julian says, happy Blur's Day to my girlfriend, Miranda, such a Miranda, who's been listening to y'all's podcasts for years and years now and is turning 30 today. I've been meaning to ask y'all if you could add her to your happy birthday list for the past five years. Okay. Done and done. But it's not a subscription program. You have to write in again next year, Julian. And happy Blur's Day to you, Miranda. Absolutely. You get the show. You get the show. Hey, this is our pal, Rold, wishing my oldest five, Hayden.

Rold is the goat. You know what? At some point, not today. Not today, Andrew, because we've got a lot going on. But we need to. Do you see the goat yoga commercial that the Mariners put out? No. Are you in it? I have nothing to do with it. Okay. But it's, that's because this is a goat sound effect. I don't know. It's like since they took those things in-house, they're just, they're like all like kind of, they're humor adjacent, I would say.

The one that I've seen so far, just hold on, rolled, like we're talking here. We'll get to your blurs here in a second. Hayden, you're going to get your blurs, I wish. Don't worry. Hayden, have you seen the, everybody just calm down.

Don't make me call the police.

Luke, have you seen Is that the only Mariners commercial you've seen?

It's the only one I've seen because the Seattle Times wrote it up Boy, they're running out of plot lines down there at spring training Did they say, this local baseball team has an amazing commercial? You won't believe the kind of yoga this local baseball team has I know that there's a series of them This is the only one I've seen

The one I saw is probably better than that But it did make me long for the days when they were actually funny But it was sort of a thinker You saw a bunch of Mariners players kind of, like, not finishing things. Like, one takes a bite of a sandwich or, like, leaves the last bite of a sandwich on a plate. And then another one is, like, putting together a table and leaving the fourth leg off. Is it about closers? Well, it's about starting pitchers. And then you realize, oh, these are all starting pitchers because they don't ever finish what they started. It's kind of an interesting joke. It was a bit of a thinker. I was on board with it.

The goat yoga one is like, everyone's going out to do yoga. Bryce Miller, the Tex, as they call him, is, he looks like a wild thornberry, by the way. I know that's a little after your time, but people who know, know. Everyone's walking with yoga mats out of the locker room, and he's, where are you going? And they're like, goat yoga. And then he goes out and sits down, and then the goat is Ichiro, who's coming out to lead yoga. It's not about goats, it's about, which is, okay, fine. It's like the goat yoga instead of goat yoga, which by the way, if you're making a joke about how goat yoga is also not a personality I'm down for that like I'm with that like we get it about goat yoga I say this as a person who has contributed to the problem But the issue for me is then so it's it's like each rose like you know Or someone's like not goat yoga the goat yoga, and then he's like doing his thing But then as he's going back to the locker room. He has two goats with him Which doesn't it's like conceptually it falls apart like why does he have to know how to end it They didn't know how to end it, and they just were like, goats are funny, people like goats. I literally think the initial idea was, like, they wanted to have goats crawling around on the Mariners, and the Mariners were like, hell no. And so, then they were like, okay, but we'll do this goat yoga bit. And I use that term loosely, but we still where there's no goats. But we want to have goats in the thing because goats are funny. So then there's just like goats that are walking through the locker room. But again, it's not goat yoga. It's the goat yoga. So it's like the joke doesn't work.

Put on the polgear, Mo. Are goats inherently funny? All right, we're done with Hayden's message. Let's move on. No, just joking. Everybody calm down. This is rolled. Wishing my oldest five, Hayden, a happy Blursday on her actual birthday. I can't believe you're graduating high school. I'm so proud of you. Can't wait for a fun summer, but I'm excited for you to start college in the fall, even though the University of Vermont is a very long way away from Puyallup.

You know what that is, Andrew? That's a long journey.

You've got to get on that.

You've got to take like a train.

You've got to get on that steamer ship. You've got to get on that steam airplane. You've got to get on that jet plane. I can't wait to see where this journey takes you, love dad. Well, happy Blur's Day. Oh, there's your train. Happy Blur's Day, Hayden. The last part of it is actually done by bike, too, which is crazy. Well, that's the last mile problem. Congratulations, Hayden, on getting into college as well. Hey, that's great. University of Vermont. Yeah. Yeah. That message gives me feels because I know that when I moved away to, you know, I went from Ohio to New Hampshire, which isn't even as long of a distance. And I know that that was really emotional for my dad. I think at the time I was just so excited it didn't occur to me until I saw my dad getting emotional and I'm like oh yeah this is like an emotional thing I was just excited because I was in a new place I was going to be living on my own I was so excited and I was like oh yeah this is tough on parents this is going to be real tough

yeah my parents were like oh are you going to college they're like we haven't seen you for a few weeks I'm like I know I live in the dorms now four miles away

north of the cut well send us a postcard

SOSC as my friend Caitlin used to always say SOSC that's south of Ship Canal she would always be like

oh I don't know it's SOSC yeah I know my joke didn't work because I think you grew up north of the cut as well but I'm trying oh my gosh thinking of trying how about that journey Diane in Bo's Arts says happy Bo's Arts Village happy Bo's Arts Village to Grace in Newfield, New York from your mom who loves you so very much you are kind and honest a hard working advancer of the public health a green thumb and clearly grandma's favorite because you call her every week good for you by the way grace keep those phone calls coming into grandma 2024 was a banner year we met up in philly for the tbtl event you became a first-time seattle marathon finisher whoa and our family survived the thanksgiving that the plumbing went out here's to another amazing year for you. Indeed. Holly in Alexandria says, happy belated Blur's Day to first-time mama, long-time 10, Virginia in Fort Worth. So grateful for the joy and hope you put in this world despite the chaos. Cheers to you and your five this turn around the sun. Okay, we're about a quarter of the way through. No, I'm just joking. This is our last one from Sarah who says, hoping it's not too late to wish myself a happy Blur's Day on my It's my actual birthday. I don't know any tens in real life, but my wife has gotten pretty good at referring to my TBTL guys, especially when all of the Christmas cards get delivered. And she started saying wife in everyday conversation. So lucky to be a part. Well, that's a breakthrough. Hey, look, the music ended perfectly. So lucky to be a part of this community as a relatively new listener of 12-ish years. Is that all? That's all. Happy Blur's Day, everybody. Yeah.

Happy Blur's Day, folks. All right, we got to get out of here. My Comarch count up and down timer has just gone all zeros. That's the sign.

Oh, that was one thing I liked on Mulaney. Did you notice on the set when the breeders were playing, there was a clock in the background. It was just spinning really fast. It was like a big wall clock, but it wasn't really telling the time. It was just like spinning at like maybe four times the speed a clock should be spinning. It was just a weird little thing.

I love it. I'm so glad you're into this to the degree that, you know, I'm not saying we have to watch every week, but I do like that you may be watching this so we can compare notes, because I'm going to try to make this. And also, by the way, there's six episodes. I think I kept saying between eight and 12 last first show. I believe it's six episodes total.

Well, no, he signed off yesterday, unless he was making a joke or was wrong, which could be. He didn't know the name of his own show. I swear he signed off by saying, we got 10 more.

See you next week. Okay. So maybe Netflix, this is so boring, because when I went to the, I watched it on tape, right? And it said six episodes, you know what I mean? Like the Netflix description, I bet you they have it wrong. Because it would make sense if they did two, if they're doing 12, which is what I thought they were doing, and they've got two, then it would mean they have 10 more. I bet you that's the correct number. that Netflix needs to check their hypotenuse.

How many did he do when it was named something else? Do you think that's six?

I want to say that was like four.

So is there any chance that that six refers to the number that are already out? That would probably make the most sense. Because right now, you can go to Netflix. You can watch the six that have already been made, but the rest haven't been made yet. You're right.

Good deductive reasoning there, Columbo. Here we go. All right, Columbo.

Hey, you said something earlier, and I'm like, that's the show title. And that was five hours ago, and I have no idea what it was.

I think I was, like, singing something weird. Did it have to do with improv?

I don't know.

The Lamb of Gosh. The Lamb of Gosh, that's it. There you go. It's in there now. It's in the... It's canon. Okay, thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for all of you. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Stay dry. Maybe I'll see some of you at Livewire tonight, Alberta Rose Theater, 7 p.m. For the rest of you, have a great rest of your day. We'll see you Friday. Please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. Power out.