Muse

Welcome to our newest debater, Tina.

Thanks, Mr. DeSanto.

You know most of these jokers. Larry's our policy ace, Zach's a research machine, and Todd's a ninja with sarcasm. Sarcasm, huh? Any good? No, I'm terrible.

Oh, that's too bad.

Ugh, I was doing it! TBTL!

What will your first sequence of the day be? Do we have any, uh, new sequences? I have a beta sequence I've been working on. Would you like to see it? They had been posting their stuff out on the internet, and apparently they'd been met with virtually nothing but ridicule. Hey, Paul. I'm Tane, your latest dancer. I can't wait to entertain you. Now, Tane, I can get into. I'm sorry, who are you?

I was asking myself that same question, and I did not like the answer. Anybody know what this is? Huh? All of this is the digestive system. And now we're going to have a couple of guys who's going to give us a presentation about what happens when the digestive system isn't working properly.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Podcasts are the future of show business. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. As Jay would say, he's got flow. Coming to you once again from 8th Avenue and 44th here in New York City. New York's hottest club is Crease. It's a beautiful day here, actually. A little cold. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. Got out there in Central Park and was doing a lap. There's nothing cuter than, like, a very, very old person who's out running in Central Park. and I waved at a couple of guys, and then I realized I am actually becoming one of the old people that's out shuffling along in Central Park. But a fun way to start the day and get ready for episode 4,432 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. I have now spent the morning, when I wasn't jogging in Central Park, studying carefully the work of Kyle Mooney, the musical work of Kyle Mooney, who has a new album out under the name of Kyle M. And I feel like I understand it less than before I listened to the entire album.

Is this real life?

We'll play you a couple tracks and discuss it today. Also, I tried to call the live Netflix program Everybody's Live with John Mulaney last night.

I'm trying to use the phone!

I did not get through, but I did note something. And I want to tell you about it and my friend Andrew. Also, I want to tell you all that it's a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day.

It's my birthday today.

We'll do the Blur's Day messages. And speaking of my good friend, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is ready for his moment in the spotlight, my friend.

Things are going to start happening to me now.

He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Glorious Rokus to you, Mr. Fubo. I realized yesterday as I became a Roku man that you're a Fubo man. And I don't know, can a Roku man talk to a Fubo man?

Maybe this is someone's first episode listening, and they don't have any context for that statement from you.

Well, I am a Roku man now. I bought myself a Roku yesterday. You are a longstanding member of the Fubo community. I think that explains everything. And here we are, just a Roku and a Fubu. I'm messing it up.

We're proving that even a Roku and a Fubu can find some common ground, Andrew. We can reach across the aisle. Actually, that's not true. I know you want to tell me about your preparation for opening day. Of course, tonight, first real baseball game for our Seattle Mariners. But, yeah, I'm feeling very badly about being a Fubo man myself today, honestly.

Yeah, I'm really confused. So really, really quickly, here's where I am. Now you got me thinking about new listeners to the show, which is that's a can of worms. I'm not sure if you wanted to open, but I'll be honest with you, Andrew. there's a limited chance that that's happening right i've seen the numbers mostly listen to re i listen to ball games on the radio mostly but when i want to watch them we cut the cable a long time ago or several years ago so i just bootleg them on some sort of you know website i find that will stream all of the uh all of the mlb games kind of under the radar those things kind of move around a little bit you have to hunt them down but usually they're they're pretty solid once you find them um but this year the mariners i think we talked about this what just last friday right they announced hey you don't have to sign up for like the whole fubo internet you know cable package i don't even know what you call fubo internet streaming it's basically like a streamer now but it's a streamer with a tons of different channels um and so uh you know you

could buy that everybody was saying for $80 a month I'm like that's a lot $80 a month just so I can watch the Mariners but now they're like oh we have a standalone app now you can just watch Root Sports it is amazing I tested it out last night I got myself a Roku because it's the only device it'll work on other than like tablets and phones and computers and the whole thing is I want to watch on my TV so I go get myself one of these Roku sticks I stick it in the back of my TV It's kind of it's a little bit galling. I'm like, I don't need this thing except for this one janky app that the Mariners kind of rushed to release right before opening day. And it is weird. You log in relatively smooth process. I'll say it wasn't as janky as I thought it was going to be. But the app, first of all, it insists that my zip code is something different than it already is. It's like it's so scared that somebody is going to try to use this app to watch it outside of the Washington, Oregon, Idaho, like great dome of allowability or whatever. And so it's like, oh, where are you? We're tracking you. I'm like, I'm not 98117 or whatever it said I was. But I'm like, well, I guess you're not giving me any choices. So fine. Put me in whatever zip code you want. And I'm already geared up for this thing tonight to either crash when everybody turns it on for the first time to watch the game or be to like just find reasons to keep me out of it. You know what I mean? It just feels it feels on the edge of jankiness. And the funniest thing about it is, man, it's just one app that serves you one live channel. And it's Root Sports. And boy, there ain't shit on Root Sports, man.

i was going to say yesterday when you were testing yesterday i literally was going to ask you what what absolute abomination were they showing so when they're not showing the mariners it's got

to be candle pin bowling or something it wasn't that would be so much more interesting so one thing that i thought was interesting is when you turn it on like if you were turning on something like pluto tv or fubo tv or even your even your like kind of guide if you have still like traditional cable you would see that very classic looking sort of again kind of channel guide and program guide where it's kind of like grid and you can move to the right and left to see like what time slot what's coming up or whatever and then all of the channels will be listed down the left well this is an app for one channel it's called root sports and so but somehow there's root sports and there's root sports plus so those are the two channels and i don't understand if i'm subscribed to root sports plus or not it seems like i get both but the thing is it doesn't matter because the exact same shitty programming is programming is on both so it was like a joke there's two channels listed one says plus next to it and one of them is just like golf tips and tricks the golf glove or so i can't remember what it was called then the next one was like pga highlights or something but i think it was in the 70s and then like the next thing was more like golf coverage It wasn't even actual golf. It was some guy on his phone talking to us about golf equipment or something. I did not have it on for very long. But it was just amazing to see that they're showing us two channels. It's the exact same programming on both, and it looks terrible.

Yeah, they should just turn that thing off when the Mariners aren't playing.

Yes, right?

I guess they've got the Kraken as well. Is that right? Or does the Kraken have their own thing? I think the Kraken moved off. Yeah, wasn't that last year? these teams all these teams they just they know that the television rights are extremely valuable and they want to just basically be their own tv station so right like they should really yeah it should just they should just have that um that signal test or whatever that pattern test thing like that they used to show i'm old enough andrew that i remember when i was a kid that there was a point where they would show the american flag did you ever stay up late enough to see this you know

i'm talking about i do you know i i'm pretty sure i stayed up late enough to see it i at least knew

of it i know you're talking about they would play there would be an american flag and they would play the star spangled banner and they would basically say we're turning the tv station off

for the night we have to go home that used to happen that's right time to go home yes now like that's what root should be doing i want to transition here so that was my experience i was like do i just bootleg for another season or do i sign up for this new 20 a month streaming service that'll just show me root sports and give me access to the mariners and so i decided okay i'll take the leap you'd be proud of me i didn't even buy the cheapest roku i wanted one that was a little bit better says plop down 50 bucks on a roku i don't need and then like you know it'll be 20 bucks a month i'm like that's okay i want to say one other thing that's in my head as i'm trying to transition into some questions i have for you about your situation but i do want to say that like this is a little bit unusual for me people who are listening to this must think that I am just trying to steal all the content I can steal and that I'm the cheapest guy in the world. The truth of the matter is I get reminded every now and then of things that I support saying hey we're renewing this thing of things I don't even watch like the H network the tim heidecker thing that he's doing i don't even watch that but i signed up for a yearly subscription because i believe i want to support that and i don't believe that greg turkington is like just like raking it in well movie houses turned out to be a complete flop right so you know what i mean that really same with comedy bang bang i'm trying to think i don't i don't need to i i don't need to prove it to you luke no but i mean there are plenty of things that I am actually happy to pay for or pay more for because I just support it and I want to support things with my dollars. I just have a real chip on my shoulder about these just the richest guys in the world running this league and running these teams, running our team especially cheaply, but then just finding more and more ways to sort of gouge the fan base. And that transitions here into what you're doing. You signed up for this thing. You got rid of cable altogether. We were just talking about this the other day. You signed up for Fubo, and Fubo, as you described it the other day, is basically kind of like cable without the cable. It provides you a whole bunch of cable stations like MSNBC and all these other things, but the reason you got that specifically was you wanted to have Mariners games on your TV, not on a tablet, but on your TV, and you wanted to be integrated along with things like MSNBC because those are your kind of two things that you just want a seamless experience on your TV at home. and we were talking about whether or not this change with this new app from the mariners was going to affect your viewing or whatever it looked like you were going to be in pretty good shape until you send me a screen cap today they're they're just everybody was saying you sign up for fubo for 80 a month and now they're jacking it up to 130 i'm very confused yeah i woke up

this morning to a very somber email from mr fubo that's like dr fubo that's mr fubo was my father Call me Fubo. Important account update. Dear subscriber, our goal at Fubo is to continue offering high quality sports programming, ensuring you never miss a moment of the action. In order to do that, we sometimes need to adjust pricing in order to cover rising content costs. We wanted to inform you that your RSN regional sports network fee has increased to $16.99 a month. That just, I think, basically means root sports. I mean, and by the way, I went into my account, and with the addition of that $16 a month, that $70 a month, you're right, it brings my monthly Fubo total to $131, which is pretty much what I was paying Xfinity before when I just had regular cable.

But that doesn't even add up, though. If it's $80 a month, and then it was 80 plus, and it doesn't say that they're raising it by $17. They're saying they're raising that sort of feature up to $17, $16.99, right? How did we go from $80 a month to $130? That doesn't add up.

I think $80 a month is misleading. I have the Elite with Sports Plus package, Andrew, and that's $104.99 a month. And then my regional sports is going to run me another $17, and then there's some taxes thrown in bringing me to $131. so I think that that $80 might be the like trial thing or maybe like the lower tier or something I guess I've always been paying more than that but I decided to tossing that

it's not just you I just want to say everybody's been tossing that number around like as you know I've been very plugged into this debate in the Mariners community and everybody's like well do I spend the $80 do I spend the $80 do I spend the $80 and so it's always been sort of the it's been the understood notion that you can sign up for Fubo for I mean I think everybody assumes there's going to be taxes maybe it'll end up being 85 or whatever but like that was always a canard in order to get the fubo with the mariners you

were not paying 80 a month that's i don't know but i have one request do not tell genevieve about this keep this under your hat my friend please because i don't need her being validated and squashing your fubo dreams it turns out she was she was loud right yeah and i'm glad very right

to be suspicious about this company and like you it would have been nice for me to have access again to msnbc but like i aside from that like i just don't need all of those channels like i i was really going to be paying for it just for the mariners so me now paying 20 a month for the mariners seems seems better and if i don't like it i'll just stop paying because that's the thing it occurred to me like i'm kind of i'm very excited for tonight i now have like a legitimate way as long as this new app doesn't crash and if it does then i'll be in the same boat with the rest of mariner's nation we can all lament together on blue sky but um the uh assuming that this this app works well for me and i am signed up for it now everything's like ready to go um i'm really looking forward to tonight i got my peanuts ready i might go get some pizza or hot dogs or something later i was wondering what your food plan is i always do peanuts i always buy it's always like i buy the bag of in-shell peanuts and i'm always like i sit down with that and a beer and then i I don't know if I'll eat anything else aside from that, but, uh, The thing is, I'm just wondering where I'm going to be in May. When I think about how I experience most baseball games, it is literally in my ear holes as I'm vacuuming or while I'm playing darts or whatever. There's a chance that I'll be like, you know what? I'm more of a radio guy anyway. So we'll just see what happens. I guess I can cancel at any time, but I assume.

So I think what I'm going to do is switch over to YouTube TV, which everybody was telling me back when I did this initial thing. Everybody was telling me that it's the way to go. And they've got all the same stuff. They have live channels. They have MSNBC. They have basically all the local channels that I would have if I had cable at my house. And I think it's like $60 a month or something. So the combination of YouTube TV, at least that's the initial fee or whatever. The YouTube TV plus this Root Sports app will bring me to the aforementioned $80 a month. So I think that's what I'm going to do. I guess this is the nice thing about these streaming services is it's pretty easy to hop from one to the other. Like, you know, it's not like having them come out and run cable to your house or like getting a new box or whatever. It's like I just basically, you know, when I get home, I'm going to switch over to YouTube TV. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to see the Mariners game tonight unless I go on one of your dark web channels, because I think that even if I were to buy the root sports thing or even if I if I log into my Fubo, I'm I wonder if they're going to like geo gatekeep it from me because I'm out here in New York City.

Yeah, that's true. Well, I can give you my now we don't have to have this conversation on the air, but I have MLB TV, which means I can watch any out of market games. Oh, so I'd be set with that over here. If I travel, yeah, so if you're in New York, you see, Luke, it's simple.

I had to fly across the country and borrow your MLB login.

It's simple. If you want to watch a Mariners game on MLB TV, you have to leave Seattle or any of the states that root for the Mariners on Root Sports. How does that not make sense to you? It makes tons of sense.

Did I stutter?

And people keep on sending me, like, just get an antenna, and I just want everybody to know. no the do you think the mariners are giving this shit away for free on some sort of local do you think they're suckers do you think that they would actually give this away for free to the people who pay their taxes on their stadium uh to support their stadium no of course not it is so the fact that we have to do this is just so so galling like this is not yes god why do i love them and hate

them so much i know the life of a sports fan the the life of a sports fan if you have two brain cells to rub together if you're talking about professional sports at least as it relates to the nfl and and this particularly the seattle mariners you have to arrive at the conclusion that they're manifestly bad people yes and yet and yet i'm so psyched and by the way i the game doesn't even start till 10 0 5 tonight out here yeah that's the other thing that's pretty late you said you're still dealing with lag and stuff i'm yeah i'm bouncing back a little bit uh but yeah i'm i'll figure out some way to follow the the game and i am very excited um i just can't believe fubo was 130 i know i'm actually kind of glad they sent me that email because i you know me i didn't i wasn't really monitoring how much it was and i also i was recommending it to everyone i was a fubo evangelist and i can no longer evangelize for them i have uh i'm backsliding i'm stepping away from the church of fubo because that's a lot of money i mean i could have had yeah Again, I could have probably had my cable package for something close to that if the guy hadn't dug up the line.

I was going to say, it was a little bit of a deus ex machina in that somebody actually literally cut your cable. But even before that, I think I was saying, well, why don't you try this Fubo thing? You have a smart TV. I was wondering if you have any resentment towards me for encouraging you to go the Fubo way because the Fubo ended up busting out.

No, the football season was great. I watched my Chris Hayes. i watch my football men's i um i i watch a lot of uh like lock up of all my shows that is the one thing that sucks the my fubo is is my dvr right now you know what i mean like all of my my programs are in there that i'm telling it to record including the mariners um so i'll have to set that up with this uh youtube tv you know but i'm sure that with youtube do they have i i would be shocked if they if they you know i'm sure that the systems are very similar i hope so now i and

i realize that the listeners might have been done with this conversation like yesterday but i don't care um i have another question for you though how prepared are you to go through the machinations machinations machinations machinations right machinations machinations machina island um isn't there a peach no but for real how ready are you to go through whatever it's going to take to get the baseball games on your tv because you don't have an apple tv do you you're also going to have to get a roku stick if you're going to do what i'm doing i'm i'm i'm prepared

prepared to uh get me get my hands on a roku stick when i get home probably it's just so hopefully does it fit is does it fit behind the television is it a is it an aesthetic

drawback to the whole situation thank you for asking because that gets into what in fact sit back for a second i have a little story okay all right in fact yeah how did i not start with this as a matter of fact because we love talking about how you ended up with the 50 dollar roku Yes, but it wasn't – here. Okay. So we have a Best Buy near my house at Northgate, right? And I'm going to go way back here and just say that Best Buy used to be a true place of joy for me back in the 90s and the early 2000s. Like it was – Genevieve and I coined the term, I believe, consumer-tainment back when we were first dating in like 2001 or 2002. If we were waiting to go see a movie and we had some extra time, we'd be like, literally, do you just want to go to Best Buy and walk around and maybe buy some CDs? We're old. But it was just a place of endless technology opportunities for me, whether I wanted to buy media or the thing to watch media on. And so it's been sad to sort of see, I think, the Amazonification and the onlineification of shopping combined probably with the pandemic messing things up or whatever. But the Best Buy near our house, the few times I've been in there in the past few years, it is a depressing scene. It's just like it's a big footprint with less and less stuff in it because they took out all of the media a long time ago. They don't sell CDs and stuff like that anymore, which makes sense. But everybody who works there and like God bless them.

A couple of bored geek squad people hanging out over at that desk.

They're very young and very affectless. Like most of them, it is like kind of like talking to a zombie when you're talking to somebody who works there in person. It's like pretty amazing. And listen, they probably don't get, you know, I don't want to get into it. They probably don't love their jobs and they probably don't get paid that much, whatever. And they're young usually. And so whatever. They're not being paid to be my best friend. But you also just kind of get this blank stare sort of look from the people who work there. Generally speaking, I've been avoiding Best Buy for a while now. But I call.

You're a video only man, right?

I want a refrigerator. Can I get that video only? um so anyway i i was like but i want to go i realized yesterday oh i've been thinking i was going to order this roku device online but i've run out of time for that if tomorrow's opening day i better go buy one now so i call the local store and i say hey do you have this in stock uh because i don't want to go there it's just like a weird parking situation there's something soul crushing about going to this particular best buy getting there kind of sucks it's just like in a traffic area all this stuff you know where it is right it's just across from the mall right well yeah where the mall used to be it's not even a mall anymore but yeah it's like where the target is it's like this little center with this kind of this confusing garage i sound like

an old man here like i know is that building is brand new in my mind even though it's probably

15 years old it looks very oh is it that new it looks 90s that building was not well that was not

there when i was a kid going to that mall i forget what was over there maybe some apartments or something but that that building is a whole that's a bermuda triangle for me i don't i don't mess with

that building so i call and it and i've done this before i was actually looking for uh whatever something for genevieve for her birthday recently and uh i called the local store to see if they had something in stock they didn't what if you got her a fubo i did i got her i got a her a fubo furry which is a plush style um anyway i will say that i've called a few times in the past i don't know a few months or something for various reasons and the customer service has actually been good And it's it was like local people and telling me whether or not they had certain things in stock for me. And when I called yesterday, it rang and it rang and it rang and nobody picked up. And then eventually a customer service person picked up. But he said, I'm your virtual. He was a real person, but he was a real person, but described himself as something like a virtual helper. I can't remember how he referred to himself. But I said something. I'm like, wait, I am calling specifically about whether or not something is on the shelf at my local store. can you help me he's like oh yeah absolutely you talk about the one in northgate he's like nobody picked up at the store so it routed to me i'm i'm not local but i'm looking at their local stock and i'm like okay great yeah and i'm like do you have this very specific roku and i was gonna buy not the cheapest but like kind of a mid-range it's called the 4x express and it's listed at 29 right 29.99 it was 30 bucks straight um and so i'm like i know what i want do they have that one he's like yep it looks like they have that and some other things as well so um i'm like great so i hang up and i go directly to the store i'm there probably within 15 minutes of this conversation and i go back and i i say where are the roku stuff and they point me to the back of the store and i find the little area and there's like a cheaper roku that doesn't do me any good and then a more expensive roku that i don't really need it's like 50 dollars and i'm like where's the express

version of this that i literally just got off the phone and so i i pull it up on their on their um on my phone like their website or whatever and i'm already in grumpus mode right i'm like i can't believe that i came to this bombed out best buy i just got off the phone like i didn't want to be here today like whatever and so i go up to some it's impossible to find like a customer service rep or a salesperson i find this person and i realize i've already got a tone i'm like i just got off the phone and like this is the only version you have they said that they have the other version the $30 version and he's like where did you look at the little Fubo's like did you look at the little Roku section over there and I'm like yeah and we're both sort of gesturing to the same place but then he walks me over to a special like end cap that is all Roku stuff I was like they're apparently selling Roku's in two different parts of the store and the part I was looking at didn't have the one that I wanted and immediately kind of got pissy about I was like they don't now i'm here i'm gonna have to buy the 50 one instead of the 30 one um but he's like no this is what you want like right here dude and i'm like oh great thank you and again i wasn't rude to him i think i just had a little bit of karen in my voice no offense to karen's but i think

i was a little bit like i just got off the phone yeah if i could just quickly throw in that since the pandemic you can never trust that something will be yeah at a place even if they think they have it and in fact i've talked to many people like this is a big thing at home depot place like that i'll call and i'll go do you have this and they'll say well the system says we have them but that system is often wrong and they'll like walk to the aisle and they'll just get eyes on it or whatever like i feel like that's one of the things restaurants staying open late and stores having the things that they think they have are two things that have never bounced back since the

pandemic yeah and again i do think online shopping has a lot to do with that i think people are like Well, I'll just buy it on BestBuy.com, if not Amazon or what have you. But this is all leading back to a question you had about, like, sort of the physicality of the technology. So the funny thing is, first of all, I thank the guy profusely. Again, I don't think I had tons of tone in my voice, but I think it was enough to be like, I was told you had this thing, and it's not there. And then he's like, it's right over here, sir. And I'm like, okay, great. Oh, I'm sorry about that. And I thank him. And then I'm holding the one in my hand that I went there to buy, the $30 one. And I'm realizing it's not like the stick that you just stick in the back.

Yeah, I'm looking at a picture of it right now. It's a little bit burlier than I would want.

Yeah, the $30 one, which is like, okay, so there's a bunch of different versions, but there's like the 4K Express, which I was going to get, versus the 4K. And what's the difference? $20. And I was there for the 4K Express, and so then he shows me where they are, and you'd think I would have just bought it. But then I'm holding the box, and I'm like, wait, this isn't like a little – it's not like an elongated USB drive I can just stick in the back of my TV. Right, that's what I picture. It's like the size of a large computer mouse. It's like the size of a large computer mouse that sits down at a table, and then you plug it into the TV with a cable. HDMI. Yeah, HDMI, and then it needs power. No, thank you. And I'm like, no, no, no. The one Genevieve has upstairs, because her friend Camaro Kev gave us one a while back, is just like a stick that sticks in the back of the TV. So then I'm sitting there with both of them in my hands, and out of nowhere, another salesperson comes up and, like, got any questions about that? And I was just like, oh, well, thanks. I'm just trying to figure out, like, why – there's no difference between these except for the form factor. And then it got into some, like, some small difference about Dolby TV and whether or not my TV can handle Dolby picture. And I'm like, I don't even want to get into that. It's probably going to make everything look like a soap opera anyway. I should just buy the cheaper one.

You're going to have to get Camaro Kev to come over and fix it.

Yeah, I did text him yesterday because I plugged it in, and then it was like, do you want to turn on Dolby on your TV? I'm like, I don't even know, dude. Ask Tom Cruise. I almost said ask Tom Hanks. But anyway, I ended up buying the more expensive one strictly because of the form factor. I didn't care about the Dolby thing, which seems to be the only real difference, but I'm like, I don't want something setting on the bookshelf. So I –

We'll have an HDMI cable running to your TV. It's like another cable to manage in your life.

no thank you so the nice thing is this doesn't have a cable running the tv it plugs directly into the back of the tv so and i assume you have a wall mount which is good but you do need to know it does need power which is something i didn't realize the tv does not supply the power so you are going to have another cable that is going to come down from this device and need to be plugged in you know it's like a a usb power thing they give you the little adapter so you can plug it into the wall or whatever but yeah this thing needs to be powered so that's going to mess up your sort of clean looking tv situation i just was bragging the other day that i feel like i've

reached a point where my cable management game is as strong as it's been yeah and mine is awful by

the way i was thinking about that yesterday i'm just i'm ashamed of my cables behind this tv in the basement it's disgusting don't even look at me right now don't even just look away don't look at me i'm a disgusting That damn Hisense TV that's always trying to steal your record player's joy.

That's gotten a lot better, by the way. I think it might have overheard me. It magically fixed itself. But anyway, yeah, so I'm kind of, again, I'm doing all of this stuff, but I am keeping like half a mind on your situation because I'm willing to deal with the cables and just sort of grumble about it. But you have a kind of a whole situation going on there. You don't want another, it's a small power cord, but it's still something that needs another power source from your TV. You don't want that, like, snaking down your wall in your living room kitchen? Well, here's the thing.

I'm not sure. I guess I have to check. But I need to find out if they are linked up with YouTube TV. Because if they are, then I'll just watch it through that.

I just was Googling that when you said that. I'm like, can you watch the Mariners on Root Sports? Or I'm sorry, can you watch Root Sports on YouTube TV? And it looks like the answer is no.

um after i may just keep fubo who knows yeah you might end up just keeping i might just i might just pay through the nose and it just comes down to what is the least hassle for me but i'm yeah i have when you mentioned roku i assume it's like a thumb drive it's your lucky day you just found a roku in the parking lot i assume it's a tiny thumb drive that you just pop into one of those usb ports on your smart tv and and uh you know bob's your uncle but it sounds like a whole situation with the powering of it and and again it's just the powering at this point again if

you get the stick kind it is most it's not a small usb it's kind of a bigger usb but it'll

disappear behind your your tv but it doesn't have a power source though yeah and my tv is wall mounted it's a whole situation there i have this cabinet that my dad and i built into the wall that's below the tv that it it has uh basically one thing on it right now because again i don't have a cable box anymore yeah it has a dvd player so that i can watch the occasional criterion collection content and that is it and i really like that i like that it's very clean there's not a lot of stuff going on now there's like the cables are all contained in one of those braided things so the i don't i may end up spending 131 a month to avoid adding one more cable to my

situation i hate cables i really like i just i don't have dreams of living to a super ripe old age like whatever but i would love to live to an age where i don't need cables anymore where everything is wirelessly charged and everything is wirelessly connected that's the dream yes i i'm

i hope i hope we make it i hope we make that day together my friend um uh last night i uh speaking of portable content of course i was watching netflix oh by the way this is so uninteresting but like i cannot get the tv in this room like i'm you're supposed to be able to cast yeah to the tv in this room and i don't want to watch severance so i'm caught up on the white lotus now i watched that the other night and i was going to catch up on severance but i don't want to watch severance on my laptop i want to watch it on the full television experience and i cannot get this that allegedly like i can scan a qr code and then it says we're ready for streaming but then for casting but it doesn't really work so anyway last night i'm watching netflix i'm uh i'm watching uh everybody's live with john mulaney and i actually tried to call the number and i got a busy signal and then i called back and it rang so can you i actually am really interested in this

back up for a second so you're watching live right i'm watching live i'm watching 10 o'clock in new york seven o'clock in los angeles i really was pretty elbows deep in a cleaning project yesterday so i couldn't put everything down to watch it but my phone buzzed it's like hey mulaney's starting in 10 minutes like ah i really wanted to watch it so like who was the guest was

it good the guest it was no it was not great um they were talking about funerals okay um the guest was uh pete davidson and a comedian named i think her name is like lanae or something okay and i guess she had been on the uh like the first version of this show when it was everybody's in la or lune lume anyway i forget her name she's very funny actually um and uh i actually didn't watch the entire show and it's pretty rough like it's it seems like it's kind of getting worse which is strange interesting yeah um but uh but anyway i um i did watch long enough for the number to flash on the screen and i called it and like i said i got a busy signal so remember we tried to call it on air the other day and it kind of said like this the cellular the cellular customer is not something and i was like well that's weird yeah while we were on air not while that show

was on air and also you should be warned or reminded that that number i was trying to do it on the fly and i found that number not on its official website i found that on reddit or

something so it might have been the wrong number well i called and i got a busy signal not like the old school busy signal that we used to get as kids calling a landline but but whatever the cell phone version of that is now but it was a busy signal

Because it said connection busy or something on my phone, which is like, when's the last time you got a busy signal ever anywhere? Like, that's a totally weird experience.

It usually just means that, like, it's a deadline or something, right? Yeah.

So I get a busy signal, and I was like, okay. And then I just kind of started, like, war dialing it because I was bored. And then it started ringing. And then I was filled with terror because I was like, I don't have anything to say. I started trying to think of something to say about funerals.

That was my question. Like, did you think, okay, in case they pick up, I need to have some sort of anecdote? I feel like you're pretty good at anecdotes.

Well, I mean, funnily enough, I mean, I've sort of become the unofficial funereal correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning. Like, I've done stories about cemetery plots in L.A. and direct sales of caskets and the sort of funereal industrial complex with Caitlin Doughty. So I sort of – but none of that's really my personal story or experience. So I don't – I think I landed on – and I don't think this would have even gotten me on air, but I was going to tell them that, like, I want a sky burial if it can be arranged. I basically just want my body left on a hill somewhere and just let the animals take me away. That would be great. I think that would be kind of fun. But that was the best I could come up with. But nobody ever picked up the phone. It just rang and rang and rang and rang, and then it just hung up on me. And then I tried to call again, and I got a busy signal. But what I take from this is that I've been saying that I've assumed that they pre-screened the calls, and in fact they've already decided on the calls, and maybe they're reaching out to the people to kind of cue them up. I think they may take the calls live And that might explain why they're so bad

They are doing shit raw, man They're raw-dogging this, brother By the way, it says Henry Winkler was on last night, too I don't know if he got that far, and Lunell

Yeah, Lunell, yeah, Henry Winkler was great, actually

Let's see here So, and I'm not familiar with the musical guest You saw most of it, or did you say you kind of bailed?

I think after my phone call experiment I started to kind of fade a little bit So I think I got through maybe the first, like, 30 minutes Who was the band again?

it was um i think it was uh it's you will beep it in post mannequin pussy am i seeing that oh

yeah you know what that's when i turned it off like i was not interested in that i wasn't super interested in that band and uh and so i uh that that was when i that was when i said good night

to them but wait wait to get me to say that on the air though i appreciate it love that for

everybody involved yeah that was the uh that was the last punch on my bingo card to get Andrew to say the P word.

So you, yeah, and it's also 10 o'clock. That started live at 10 for you, not 7, obviously, out here on the West Coast.

Exactly, so I was a little, I was pretty tuckered there because I'm a young, vibrant man who's exhausted by 10.30 at night. But anyway, all that is to say, I am now of the opinion that they take the calls live, and I mean, it's not like the calls have been so great that that's an unbelievable concept, but it actually makes it make a lot more sense. And again, I just have a real begrudging respect for what they're doing. I'm going to keep watching it. Yeah. Like you and I and another person who, let's just say, works in the industry have been sort of comparing notes on this. And I think we've all agreed it's really rough and kind of hard to watch. But I'm I'm here for it. I mean, I was I was like hustling home from getting kind of a late dinner last night, like literally like looking at my watch, like I got to get to my hotel room by 10 p.m. on the dot. Like it was appointment television. When's the last time other than a sporting event that I've had appointment television?

That's the deal. And that's why, like, I was really bummed to miss it live yesterday, because I'm quite sure I'm not, especially now that baseball season is starting and that's going to take up a big chunk of my kind of viewing and listening attention. Like, I just don't think I'm going to go back and watch that show after it's aired. Like, I know, obviously, it's all on Netflix and I'll bet you the majority of people do watch it after the fact. But for me, the whole thing is, God damn, this is live. Like, what is going to happen here? Not what happened. and they had you know they had if something disastrous happened they would have had time to clean it up I don't think they do that but you know if something really went off the rails but it's interesting because it is like for me it feels like it just needs more time to sort of bake like the show is like they're they're purposely making it as difficult as possible for themselves like they're not taking any shortcuts they're not pre-taping it by an hour it's rough they know like I feel like Mulaney is trying to make it more awkward at times that it even needs to be but he's just like out there working it like trying to take these phone calls and but the thing is while your experience does sort of i guess lean us towards believing that they really are just taking these calls on the fly when i think back to the one episode i saw like you did get a call from somebody who was literally on a cruise the theme last week was cruises and the last person to call in i don't even think you heard this was somebody who's a writer for snl who had a cruise ship story and i'm kind of like that's not a coincidence somebody from this show from snl wasn't just dialing and hoping that mulaney was gonna pick up you know

yeah that's a good point maybe maybe it's somewhere in between

Maybe they've got, like, their five calls or their ten calls that they're planning on. They've got kind of queued up, but they're taking calls in case something amazing comes in, you know? Maybe they're just going, well, maybe the chances of calling in and getting a phone screener and rising to the level of someone they're going to use in that show is pretty low. But I just was excited that I got a busy signal, and then I got a ring. It felt like I was, you know, trying to win tickets on a radio station in the 1980s.

And again, how many opportunities do we have to have that feeling anymore, you know? Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's why I'm still pro that show, having only seen one episode. But I really want it to, I mean, I would love it if like 10 years from now we're like, God, remember how rough that show was when it first started and like it's still going? I don't think that's in the cards. It sounds like there's a lot of friction between Mulaney and the Netflix brass. Oh, really? I can't tell how much of it is kayfabe, which is another service that you need if you want to watch mariners games yes in southern idaho you have to have that's right you have to get the cake but that is a very large dongle it's just very unsightly in the home studio entertainment environment but i mean i don't know the articles that have been written was just like netflix was just like well can we tighten this up a little bit and i guess the answer from eleni's team is

always no like i love it so much i love that for him it reminds me of my early days it's when i had the confidence of a much younger woman when like i i wanted everything to be as weird as possible uh generally to the displeasure of the potential listeners and certainly my bosses yeah it was such a market it was such a badge of pride for me and all of that has just been beaten right out of me yeah all that is leaked right on out of one of my ears and now i'm just like uh where should i be for the mustard contest be there with bells on not that i'm actually looking forward to eating a lot of mustard in Wisconsin this weekend. Oh, by the way, our good friend Michelle has been to that mustard museum with her mother and was sending me some tips and tricks on what to do at the mustard museum. So, like, I've already got some advance work going on with the mustard museum in Middleton, Wisconsin. Nice.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man, razzle-dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. All right.

Speaking of the dazzling donors, we've got a couple of folks here who are donating a dazzling amount of dough, keeping TBTL in business, giving Andrew Roku money. Oh, deep in a Roku now. Yeah, exactly. You're making you're getting paid Roku bucks on this show.

It's just so annoying.

It's like Buko, but less.

It's like I have all of the apps on my TV, but now I have this one device that can also have all of my apps on that TV, and I'm just going to it just to watch the Mariners.

And it's all thanks to Vicki Hentz, who's in Helena, Montana. Beautiful, Helena, Montana.

Nice. Thanks, Vicki.

Vicki says, hey there. I've been a dazzler before, but this is my first time sending a message, and why now? Well welcome I mean thank you for the support And welcome to the party Vicky Of getting shouted out properly on the program This is my first time sending a message And why now To tell you how vital TBTL is to my day As I deliver mail Oh so Vicky is a postal worker It sounds like That is awesome To thank you for teaching me sports ball So I fit in with the cool kids To applaud your insights into the mundane Wait a minute, do you consider that Roku conversation mundane, Vicky? I haven't even gotten to the mundane part of the show yet, Vicky. You're going to want to sit down for that. It's all true, but like any angry Redditor, I'm here with a sharpshoot that's been eating at me for years. See, this is how we get the dazzling donors to take the time to fill out the form. Finally, a little piece of grit that their brain has been worrying on into a pearl of donation comes in, and then they finally, they've got to get it off their chest. And it is, of course, this is Vicky's dime. So we will allow it. Maybe listeners emailed to remedy the issue, but it was never discussed on TVTL. And I need closure on episode 2836. So, Andrew, this is going back to 2019.

I remember this episode very, very clearly. I remember every moment in it.

Discussing Kimmy Schmidt, Andrew dislikes how Dong's name is used as a tired joke. so I'm just gonna take a moment here I don't even remember this plot from Kimmy Schmidt it sounds like there's a character whose name is Dong am I right to assume that maybe this person is Asian American or Asian in some way

yeah he's an Asian American guy a young guy I don't um by the way I was joking when I said I remember everything about this episode I don't remember talking about this but I do feel like yeah it's a very We'll be right back. Tina Fey, like, kind of edgy, kind of like, oh, yeah, we're, you know, we name this character Dong, and then there's a bunch of Dong jokes, kind of, around his name.

Well, here is what Vicky would like to clarify. Andrew forgot that after Dong meets Kimmy, he giggles and says that in his language, Kimmy means penis. They're in on it. Don't hate them. So, Andrew, I need you to print an official retraction that you love the Dom character and all of the associated jokes. By the way, on the subject of that whole kind of, I don't know, Tina Fey verse or whatever, I saw a couple of guys online talking about Alec Baldwin's, he's got a reality show now.

Yeah, I know, in which he complains about getting too much attention.

I mean, he 100% did it because he needed the money. I think that's not a particularly well-kept secret because with the unfortunate thing that happened with that movie Rust, which he was also one of the producers of, and, you know, that was, along with a horrific loss of life, it also involved a lot of loss of money for Alec Baldwin. like there's no universe in which he signs up to do a like very kind of from what i can tell very middling reality show like it's not even like some kind of interesting high concept thing it's just kind of like the premise is alec baldwin's alec baldwin's really tired from so many kids or whatever but this is what this guy said that i thought was hilarious it's like it's basically like a thing jack donaghy would say to lemon in 30 rock in other words there it would be a joke If Donaghy was like, Lemon, for the next two weeks, I'm filming my reality show with my seven children I had with a yogi because I killed someone in Arizona. It would be a 30 Rock joke.

It really does.

You know, like, it's insane. It is like art imitating life imitating art.

Yeah, yeah. No, I will just say, like, I remember that. I didn't forget that part of it. It still doesn't work for me, but as we have a song sung by a little listener, a young listener of ours, we can like different things.

That's exactly right. I don't have anything to promote. Now we're back to Vicky here. I don't have anything to promote, but my Eleven does. He spends a lot of time exploring the outdoors and posts on most of the socials. So if you like scenic and relaxing clips, check out and follow The Adventures of Ranger Sarah. It's pretty great. Now, I have checked out The Adventures of Ranger Sarah on Instagram, Andrew. by the way it's uh adventures of ranger sarah that's the ig handle and these are a bunch of really beautiful photographs uh that seem to feature also a little like doll that i guess is ranger sarah um just enjoying like unbelievable scenery and these are really really great photographs and it is like i feel i feel relaxed just looking at it yeah this is very cute that

The doll, Sarah, is also very cute. It says, Ranger Sarah travels to show and teach kids and adults about the cool things that our world has to see. So Ranger Sarah goes on adventures.

Yes, for the last six weeks that we have these parks. Let's enjoy them by way of Ranger Sarah. And getting out to them if we can. Anyway, Vicki, thank you so much for the support. Thanks for, hopefully we'll anger you again in the coming years so you'll have something to write about next year. Yes.

We really appreciate you. Thank you, Vicki.

Maestro?

On your mark! On your mark! Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dattle.

It's Kathleen Howlren of Norman, Oklahoma. Boomer Sooner. Norman, Oklahoma is a very cool town, actually. Kathleen says, I found TBTL in December of 2019, the morning after the Seahawks played on Sunday Night Football. That would have been back when we were probably pretty good, right? 2019?

2019, this couple of years after the Super Bowl loss, right?

Oh, okay, so maybe we weren't that good anymore. I needed a break, and the football talk was it. This is so interesting. So if I understand right from Kathleen's message, and again, this is, as you can tell, the first time I'm seeing this. So Kathleen tuned into TBTL sort of randomly on a Monday, and it was a Monday that came after a Seahawks game. And I guess I needed a break, and the football talk was it. i have listened to every episode since but i missed the no point conversion i i think does that mean kathleen would like us to bring that back yes i missed the i missed the no point

conversion because it was apparently it was a little bit of sports talk that that brought

kathleen to the table which i think you know i i'm i'm so self-conscious about our sports talk because a i enjoy it so but b i feel like it's so alienating like if some if my favorite podcast just decided to talk about nhl hockey like fairly in-depthly i think it would lose it lose me pretty fast um and yet somehow um some of our listeners have stuck around and so anyway to hear that

The sports talk actually was an enticement for Kathleen in Norman, Oklahoma. I've listened to every episode since, but I miss No Point Conversion. TBTL continues to keep me distracted, so boomer sooner and support your local businesses and charities. A boomer sooner to you, Kathleen, and thank you. This is, of course, when Norman, Oklahoma comes up, I have to tell my one Norman, Oklahoma story, which is um i've told it many times but i attended a uh university of oklahoma football game the huskies were playing u of o in norman and uh the huskies were terrible at the time and the sooners were like probably top five in the country as they often are and uh i had had a few before the game and uh the very first play of the game i think it was lewis rankin our tailback ran like a 75 yard touchdown like just like we we snapped it handed it to him and he was gone and i antagonized the entire stadium i also feel like i might have been the only husky fan there and i was just i was just being a little turd out there i was not handling it graciously i had this massive adrenaline dump because i thought we're gonna beat like the number whatever three team in the country and i'm going to be here to see it and then uh the huskies proceeded to lose like 65 to 7 and um i will give huge credit to the sooner fans that nobody threatened my life nobody threw a beer at me nobody nobody nobody reacted uh poorly to my poor sportsmanship so shout out to those oklahoma fans

did they at all i mean even in a good-natured sportsman like way did they rub it in your face

a little bit when the tide turned no i also think it helped that the the defenestration of the huskies was so thorough that it was almost like people just felt bad for me by the end like it wasn't like it came down to the last play or something and and and and like emotions were running high it was like uh bless your heart we'll see at the cattleman's steakhouse later you poor bastard you poor guy from this poor football program that has absolutely no chance of uh of prospering so anyway uh thank you so much to our dazzling donors for making tbtl possible they could not do it without you hello and welcome to top story all right i mentioned this kyle mooney music project excuse me kyle m yes music project the other day and um i was reading New York Magazine uh recently and uh the website and I I saw an article where the writer of the article I don't know if they're trying to ingratiate themselves with Kyle Mooney or what but they write so the question is is this music project that Kyle Mooney has announced uh and this album that he's put out uh called I think it's called Kyle M so it's eponymous no it's called the real me oh yeah the album is called the real me and it's by a kyle m and the writer of this new york magazine article my question has been is this a joke or not i assumed it was a joke and then um i was talking to somebody i was texting with someone recently who was like totally under the impression that it's not a joke and this new york magazine article writes about the whole thing as if it's very much not a joke either like treats it very much like this is kyle mooney's music project and uh you know at no point does the writer say like this is obviously for comedic humor the writer is uh herschel pandya writing in vulture i guess but he just basically uh kind of is treating it like it's a serious album of music and so i was like am i the only one who thinks this is a joke am i like out of step with this so i thought well first thing i need to do is actually listen to the album and so i did this morning it goes by pretty quick some of the songs are like 38 seconds long yeah i heard something else kind of like a 20 minute record or something like that am i it's pretty short and what i think is interesting about it andrew is the first track is called kid on the range it's got 61 000 listens and then as you go down every song has fewer listens then every song as you get to the number 10 the real me has the fewest listens of 23 000 i can just see people going like what is happening here and then they start listening and then they like they're running out of steam kind of by the end of the record i i went on a whole journey with this like i was like this is a total joke and then i was playing the songs because it's musically very let's just say diy very lo-fi but i actually found it sort

of transfixing have you listened to any of these songs yet no i want to say that uh it's almost

It's exactly 20 minutes long. It's 19 minutes and 58 seconds. And even though I haven't listened, so this is going to be hard for me because I'm going to play you some of the songs.

And if we get pulled down in Romania, that's just what happens.

I want to weigh in, but I haven't heard it. So I need to like kind of like. Well, this is good. But I want to say that I spent a long. Well, I don't know if it was a long time, but I spent a decent amount of time on some. subreddit the other day and i don't know why this was suggested to me but on reddit there was a huge conversation about this album and people are all over the place i mean people are adamant that it is just a really really dry very subtle joke because it's just not that good other people are like no he's really exposing himself but the general exposing himself was really the wrong thing to say there i'm trying to talk too quickly but um that he's like being vulnerable is what i and that he's really trying something and being vulnerable. But the thing is, Kyle Mooney is a very smart person, and he's very self-aware. And people were sharing some lyrics and stuff and just saying, the man who subtly makes fun of dumb people knows that this is dumb, was kind of the consensus.

I think that's where I've kind of landed. But I will say this. I sort of enjoyed this album more than I was expecting, considering how bad it is. Let me just play a little of the first track, Kid on the Range. This is...

Glass full of whiskey Out on my porch Staring towards the train tracks Got on my spurs, of course Thinking about Paul and the man he wanted me to be. And all I can think is that's not me. See, I may look like a man, but truth is I'm still a boy. Haven't learned much learning, still play with my toys. Lord, oh, Lord, I want to change But I feel like a kid on the range

So that's track one. I would have loved to see where he recorded this. Because there's a thing, you or I, there's so many P-Pops. and just like it's like he recorded it on like the built-in microphone on a not that new computer

i mean it sounds like the album begins with the thumping of the microphone sound yeah

now another song that's getting a lot of attention is uh digital society uh where he's uh talking about how we should all get off of our phones uh play a little bit welcome to digital society welcome to digital society welcome to digital society

put down your phone yeah turn off the tv everyone's lost in technology computer screens are all i see i guess we're just a digital society i remember when it was simpler times Hanging with friends Going outside Reading a book Or playing a game It's what we used to call Just using your brain But then it changed And we went online Plugged ourselves in Got electronified Power was on But at what cost? Cause digital society Actually turned us off Put down your phone yeah turn off the TV everyone's lost in technology computer screens are all I see I guess we're just a digital society but there's good news I've got a cool gadget for sale it's all charged up processor never fails it was made by a cool creator the brand is called God And the gadget is nature Put down your phone Yeah, turn off the TV Everyone's lost

I mean, honestly, this is like the fourth time I've heard this song It's kind of catchy to me

The music is more what I thought the album was going to be like Like, that's what I was expecting Well, maybe a little bit more up-tempo But I expected it to be a little bit more like kind of garage band-y in that way That wasn't just a guitar and him popping his peas um but that you know i can't take that seriously i don't hate the sound of it but it's like yeah well that's uh obviously just cringy i don't think that he's earnestly saying hey listen i have this idea for a song and it's kind of like an exploration of kind of you know modern technology and culture and this is what i'm like i mean we know kyle mooney well enough to know that like yeah that

What we're hearing there.

yeah he's not blowing your mind with this yeah no i think i i i think you're i think you're right i think your read is absolutely correct i will tell you i think the sleeper track on this album and my favorite it's called gwendolyn bartley and it's clearly like an eleanor rigby ripoff okay it's so well i don't want to i don't want to influence you but i this is my favorite song

from the record Gwendolyn Bartley put on a grand party but no one attended but me a poor sight to see she worked at the factory no friends or no family as lonely as lonely can be all cuz she's 83 why do we treat old people like this they're so wise and yet we dismiss being in their company is pure bliss here's Gwendolyn Bartley to reminisce Gwendolyn Bartley when i was a kid i smiled at everything around me and now that i'm old and gray i can't get anyone to surround me why do you treat me like this i've got so many stories to

He has decided to do this thing on the whole record where he never finishes saying me or be. He says everything is meh and beh. It's the weirdest decision, but he's very consistent with it. I have to give him that.

And it definitely feels like a character because, like, you know, before Kyle Mooney, was it before he was on SNL? Or maybe we just went back once he was on SNL and we're, like, watching those early, you know, we use his intro table.

Like this little man on the street interview.

yeah and he had he called it there was he had a little brand when he was doing stuff just for youtube it was like him and his roommate hanging out and and he was in like kind of being a kind

of annoying character i feel like we knew about him before snl because he and beck bennett uh would do a lot of stuff who also got on snl but i i feel like they were on our radar he was on our radar before and then maybe i think you're right we're pretty psyched when he got on snl maybe yeah and

For the record, I think he was on your radar, and then you put him on my radar. That's my memory of it.

Probably on my daughter's radar, and then my radar, and then your Roku, and then my Quibi.

I should definitely start tomorrow's show with some Kyle tape of him interviewing baseball players or something. Oh, yeah, apropos. When he, like, part of his awkward character is, and I'm going to pick up my microphone here, but I guess we're all used to mic sound now after that. Yeah, exactly. He's going on there. You going to hit a grand slammer? and then he does that he like breathes into the microphone in this really awkward way and he's doing that here on the on the album and the thing is like and i don't you will be unsurprised to hear this i don't know kyle mooney personally we have not hung out but i find it hard to believe that he honestly has that nervous energy around people like maybe part of him feels that way and he's exaggerating it into a character but like he knows he's doing this character who is so weirdly insecure and breathes into the microphone and you hear that same affectation in these songs which makes it just all the more obvious to me that he is doing a

character yes i think you're right i i think i got thrown for a minute because again i was seeing so many people treating this like it's not being presented for comedic effect and i feel like they're going off of the fact that everything kyle mooney has done to lead up to this has been like Basically saying, this is not a joke I'm being vulnerable, this is my music In fact, he has a song At the end of the album, which is cited In that New York Magazine piece That's called The Real Me And I'll just play you a little bit of it You can probably guess the sort of Sense of it, but it's like

This is the real me As naked as can be This is the real me

Told you he's exposing himself

No more makeup hiding me Yes, the real myth I know I come off as a clown But I'm telling you now There's a real me deep down Everybody loves to laugh Everybody loves to point and see the puppet As he ridicules himself for nothing but a chuckle And then they pay no mind as he slowly drinks his wine and hides the demons that live inside he's stuck in his bubble

with no way to escape surrounded by the hate that he has lived with day by day that is his struggle

oh by the way there's another one another song that uh uh i thought was really funny i guess i can't remember what the name of it is but it's him singing about uh gym class and basically not wanting to shower after gym class in front of the other people uh-huh uh it's pretty funny i can't i can't remember it's there's not like a track on here that's called like showering after gym class so but i was going to say that that final track i think i'm surprised at how many people are taking kyle mooney at his word when he's saying this is serious yeah like it doesn't scan with i mean like you said he has an incredibly dry sense of humor and he has a history of doing things where he's pretending to be earnest but he's not and that's kind of the joke i it's surprising to me how many people are are not seeing this for what it is which is a comedy

record and my question is i didn't did you say it was new york magazine that wrote this up

a vulture or vulture is that part of new york magazine or is that something separate i always

think it's part it wasn't it like i lump it in with new york magazine yeah it's strange i feel like there was a time when well actually that might have been one thing where it was stood on its own and then was um uh what's the word i'm looking for bought i guess maybe by acquired but i don't know if that's true though i wonder vulture because i feel like it's from the era when what we used to call old media news organizations were getting into new media and had to kind of rebrand for their blogs. You know what I mean? Anyway, it doesn't really matter. I think that sidelines us almost every time we bring up Bulture. But my point is, I also wonder if this writer is also just sort of think, I think you said it's a guy, I don't know, is in on the joke himself.

I feel like he's trying to get Kyle Mooney's attention. I feel like he, which God bless him, I would love Kyle Mooney's attention as well I feel like he's almost writing it in a way That is hoping that Kyle Mooney sees it And then is appreciative Of him keeping the kind of kayfabe going To bring that term back

Yeah, because if I just had a little fantasy, do you want to hear about it? Yes, I do Please don't expose yourself I'm on a white horse If we had Kyle Mooney Let's just say that somehow We were able to get Kyle Mooney On this show, right? stranger things have happened and if we just were like oh guys we got we got Kyle Mooney we're gonna ask him we're gonna ask him is he being serious like obviously he's going to just be like what are you talking about of course it's serious like you know what I mean like he would be he's committed to the bit so committed to the bit so you and I if we were having Kyle Mooney on I don't even think we'd ask that because it would be annoying it would be frustrating and it would feel like we're being the foils sort of if that's the right word whereas we would probably try to be more in on the joke like this is a really moving record like what was your inspiration you know that's what we would do and so I just wonder if some of the people covering this in the press are kind of like oh we kind of have an Andy Kaufman situation here it's pretty lame just to keep on asking Andy Kaufman if he's really into wrestling you know what I mean that's right I don't know again I think you're right I'm hearing this album for the first time the thing that shocks me the most is I knew it was going to be like kind of lo-fi i didn't realize it was going to be like purposely bad like blowing out the microphone and like you said almost sounds like it's recorded on a on a um on a cell phone or a smartphone or something but um i don't know if it's quite that but i am i didn't realize it was going to be all pee poppy and distorted and just like really quite crappy from a production standpoint but again i have a feeling that that is intentional crappiness yes because you and i

in this hotel room andrew i could make a record that sounds better than that from a recording

standpoint with this microphone that i have here and my laptop is with your with your guitar right

yeah like like there's it's it's it's not the case that that was uh something that could not be avoided for kyle mooney it was obviously an artistic choice now this is like a kind of a sort of a big leap but not such a big leap it's in the world of comedy and things where it's kind of like trying to understand what the joke is but i have decided something andrew which is that i don't think i like the show office hours anymore the tim heidecker like kind of talk show he does i like the people on the show i really like vick berger i like dj doug pound i like and i i i like the guests who come on i don't like the tim heidecker character on office hours because again that's a whole other like super super subtle like thing where he is i think the joke is that he's just kind of a he's a slightly more vapid version of himself so he's being tim heidecker but he's like like he's just kind of a little bit more like show busy but not like over the top like

he is on on cinema yeah he's not playing like decker or one of his he's not playing decker

anything he's just being tim heidecker but he's being like tim heidecker but a little bit a little bit kind of more

sort of like get a load of this kind of a thing like he's just he's always like he's interviewing people and be like like it's weird I it's it's this it's this uncanny kind of thing where he's doing the character really well but because it's not it because it's so subtle it's just like watching a person who's not very likable do like a talk show an interview style show it's very weird

yeah you know I have not watched a full episode of it I've only seen clips back when I was on instagram and now that i'm not on instagram i haven't seen anything in a while um and so i always am hesitant to weigh in because like i'm seeing here i was like oh yeah i should sign up for again i thought i think you have to pay to watch it live in its entirety i could be wrong about that i think it's part of a subscription plan try to call them but it is a call-in show i kind of don't think i realize that it's a live call-in show that streams maybe you don't have to pay but here's like yesterday's full episode it's like an hour and four minutes on youtube it's automatically archived i like the fact that it is live you know kind of like the malaney thing but i haven't sat down even though i like all of these flavors i haven't sat down to watch them all together and i so i i guess i just can't weigh in but i know what you're talking about like heidecker is again that uncanny valley is the perfect way of putting it like he's done stuff we think of him as a comedian he's done stuff that is so over the top the other day you mentioned a recumbent bike and it got me thinking about do you remember that sketch recumbent bike cops or something it was because they it was like a fake cops show on tim and eric but it's called like rorks or something recumbent officers i don't think i've seen that it's those two uh

the single party snoozer came up the other day i just watched the entire sketch for the like hundredth time it's i i you know i mean they have created and he has created some of the

greatest comedy moments of my life here let me just see if this is a cops on recumbent bikes It's Corb. This is probably going to be terrible. Oh, you know what's happening? I use an ad blocker. That's why I'm always able to play YouTube videos immediately. But my ad blocker is in a fight with YouTube. YouTube keeps changing it. Do you know that there's these battles that go on with ad blockers? They'll change the code a little bit so that YouTube will recognize your ad blocker and won't play stuff for you. I'm sorry. I'm looking for an episode. So here's the first episode of Corbs here. So just imagine two very Dovice-y cops riding around on a recumbent bike. Is it Tim and Eric? Yes, Tim and Eric. Eric is trying to put a ticket up on a car, but he's down at a recumbent bike and he can't reach the windshield. This is the opening credits. Ted Diddleo is the guy who plays Tim's character, apparently. This is going to be so bad Donnigan

Corbs, this is a colonel We have a 1017 at the sugar factory Well, we're just finishing up our lesson We need you now, right now Okay, we'll be there in 15 minutes Roger What's the phone on the lunchie? Well, looks like we got another 1017 What's the beef? Who's the perp? Typical Colombian terrorists are taking over the sugar factory Let's roll

They roll out on their recumbent bikes All that is to say, obvious, obvious, like, over-the-top comedy, but then releases a real album that is not a joke at all, with some really good songs on it, but then has been touring as, like, both acts. He's been touring as both a serious musician who also has a comedy aspect to his act. I don't know if you know that or if we've talked about it. And that makes things confusing. And during the pandemic, he comes out to do, like, he releases a stand-up special during the pandemic. Oh, yes. And I remember, Vives and I were geeked for it. And I think we watched it live on YouTube, in fact. But I think I started it a little bit before Genevieve and I rewound it. I'm like, you're not going to like this. This is way over the top. He comes out, Luke, speaking of microphone work, he starts his stand-up by knocking over the mic stand and then spending the next, I'm going to say, two to three minutes. And you understand how long two to three minutes is. just constantly trying to pick up the mic stand and dropping it to the point where you're just like, please stop. And I'm like, Genevieve, you're going to hate this. It turns out it was the funniest thing in the world to Genevieve. She will watch the beginning of that over and over again and just cry laughing at the physical comedy. But he's already building up toxic energy as he's fighting with this mic stand thing. And then he just comes out and slays for the rest of the thing. Like being this character that is not Tim Heidecker doing stand-up, but like tim heidecker's version of a stand-up comic that he wouldn't respect basically yes

it's really hard to find the lines uh around these guys and and again i i i'm so much more interested in like what he's doing and kyle mooney is doing than like you know god bless him but like kevin hart or somebody who's a more sort of down the middle comedian i would rather that my comedians were kind of weird and hard to understand sometimes and not everything hits yes because then when it does hit it's just so much better so i you know of course i'm i'm ride or die with tim heidecker but it's a it's probably like some people deciding they don't like this show after some amount of time it's weird to be a fan of someone's and then just to finally hit the point where like well this thing this is not for me because like i love tim heidecker so much and then i'm just like but the you know uh office hours live this is this is the one that's is not going to work for me just because his the character that he's chosen to be on that one is just kind of unlikable to me and and not particularly funny and not over the top enough but not real enough and it's just in this yeah yeah so but i mean i i respect the guy greatly so i you know you can't make an omelet without having a few eggs that don't work i think that's what

they say right yeah i think so speaking of um just leaning into things that really you shouldn't do during broadcast i'm going to play a little bit of this him fumbling with his microphone for you because i just want to hear how long it goes on and it's obviously so physical but just imagine he's coming out he's wearing a leather jacket he's got i think i watched some of this like on

tape later so i don't i don't remember the mic bit but i have a vague is he wearing a hat no i don't think so maybe i have a vague memory of this of this stand-up when it happened but anyway

at some point i think he might be doing some terrible impressions and he puts on a hat maybe if that but no he comes out okay he's just kind of dressed like like as as he would see sort of kind of a kind of a d-baggy stand-up guy you know and he comes out and it's by the way it opens like one of those specials they're like putting the letters of his act on the marquee we see him backstage he's sort of like warming up a little bit and now here he is finally taking the stage let's hear how long this goes on he's yelling at the audience not to touch the mic stand as it's rolling near the edge of the stage that's right this music just i love this vaguely rolling stones music and the longer this goes on you'll notice it's a very small snippet of music that just keeps looping. Is there a live audience there? Yeah, there is a live audience. It looks like it's small. I think this is pandemic era, so it looks like maybe the first few rows are packed and then the rest is sort of like cheated out by not lighting the rest of it. It's still going on. He's now got the mic stand up, but it won't stay. It keeps sliding back down.

This song keeps trying to be satisfaction by the roles.

Just the joke of the short loop of music alone is so good. So we're over a minute of this now. I'm timing it. Great. Now the mic stand is like seven feet tall. I wonder if he rehearsed this. Oh, I'll bet you he did a lot. And he's just being angrier and angrier.

What the fuck are you talking about? It doesn't fucking go in. One, two. Thank you. He's drunk. Thank you. Let's start it again. All right, thank you. Can you cut the music? we'll just start from the top thank you bro can you cut the hey John can you cut the music please

I think about 1.58

whenever we've

crossed the two minute mark

it was about two minutes and now of course the music never stops and he just keeps on yelling and so it just starts the most toxic relationship between him the audience and like all of the stage managers oh speaking of Tim Heidecker

now is this supposed to be good i mean i completely forgot after that entire

heidecker digression that he also is the birthday music that's right which by the way we always get

a little flag like, oh, you can't use this music on YouTube. But nobody ever cares. Nobody takes them down. Alright, we got a few Blursdays here. If you want to wish somebody a happy birthday or a happy Blursday, you can email me, Andrew at tbtl.net. Put Blursday in the subject line. Nick says, oh, this is Nick, the perfect 10, says, I totally forgot to wish Jake, the perfect daddy, a Blursday last week. So I'm making up for it a week late. Hope you had a great day, my Dude, love from your perfect son.

Boy, it's a complicated world we've created Got it Chris says A happy Blur's Day shout out to my incredible wife Liz, for 20 years You've made me happier than I've ever thought possible And on top of that You're an amazing mom to our wonderful daughters Your sense of humor has made The best days even better And the tough times a little easier And I wouldn't want to go through any of it With anyone else I love you so much, happy Blur's Day dummy What you do is so important that's really sweet birthday Liz so I just want to let this breathe yeah can we cut the music can we cut the music cut the music no no cut it happy birthday to my incredible sister and boss 10 Annie B Annie is the reason I am also a 10 Look at that, two, between Nick and the perfect daddy, and Kelly and the perfect Annie, we have two people wishing their TBTL progenitors a happy Bulimus day. Yeah, so anyway, get back to the message. Annie is the reason I am also a 10, and can take much of the credit for making me a better human. Love you to Pluto and back, Annie B. I see Pluto is the planet there. Or not the planet, the almost planet.

Actually, I have to say, that's a really good point. I hadn't thought of this, you know, there was a there was a great children's book called Guess How Much I Love You that I used to read to my daughter. It's a very sweet story. It's like a kind of a mommy rabbit, I think, if I remember right. And the little baby rabbit and the baby rabbit is is, you know, trying to sort of understand their world and the expansiveness of things. And, you know, and the mom is basically saying, you know, how much that she loves the baby rabbit. And then at the kind of the end of the book is to the moon and back. The mom loves the rabbit to the moon and back. And people say that to each other. I love you to the moon and back. But like, talk to me when you love me to Pluto.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's a much, much further distance.

And it is a competition. And people should remember that love is a competition.

And so that's what that says that in Proverbs.

I've taken to talking to the rabbits that I see. There are a lot of rabbits in Seattle. It kind of goes boom and bust here, I think, depending on like I think there will be a big rabbit population for a few years and then a big coyote population and they kind of go off and on. And I think we're still in a rabbit boom, especially where I live. I see a lot often if I open a window to let some air in or just like go out my basement door, I'm often face to face with a rabbit. And I think there are times where I would like sort of mumble to them a little bit. And now I'm just like, no, I'm talking to the rabbits. I don't care who knows. Like, I was walking down my street the other day, and I was like, oh, hey, little buddy.

You're entering your Jimmy Stewart in the movie Harvey phase.

Yeah.

I'm just like, hey, little buddy, I'm not going to hurt you. Because, you know, they always get startled a little bit, and they hop away. But then they're a little bit lazy, and they're like, well, maybe I don't have to run away from this guy. He doesn't look that fast. So I'm always, like, trying to encourage him. And it occurred to me, like, oh, yeah, I'm just walking past my neighbor's yard, like, out loud talking to the rabbits. And I have – I'm not going to change. No, you shouldn't. You know what? There's plenty to make fun of me about, and talking to the rabbits is one of them.

Dude, I'll tell you what, I've been thinking this, I mean, this has been the case for some years, but New York is the weirdest city to be walking around in because everyone has headphones on and in, and everyone is talking to someone else by way of their headphones, and that someone else is often very far away because everyone's yelling all the time. Oh, yeah. But no one has their phone out. And so what will happen is you're just like at a stop. You're standing to waiting to cross the street. And then the person who's next to you just starts yelling. It's because they've been waiting in the conversation for their turn to yell. And I also have AirPods in the whole time. I'm listening to my music as I'm walking around. So I'm a little bit disoriented anyway. but like even this morning on my jog there was probably three times where I thought someone was trying to get my attention or yell at me before I realized no they're just in a conversation with

someone by way of their headphones and I know that I'm just getting deep into Andy Rooney territory as the world moves on and technology changes and then social mores change along with the technology but like I just can't help but bristle and I see this a lot you know the grocery store is my is my little sanctuary I love going to the grocery store but like nothing really takes me out of my grocery store mood than like somebody just walking down the aisle, having a loud ass conversation on speakerphone.

Not even, not even like FaceTime.

Yeah. And there's like, and they're just like looking around. I mean, I understand maybe if you have to call somebody back home and say, Hey, I should, did you want cream of wheat or oatmeal or something? You'd have that quick conversation, but that's not what I'm seeing. I'm just seeing people sort of wander down the aisles, like talking while they're like checking out.

the, you know, whatever, the cake mix is, and I'm just kind of like, what, like, can you just, but on the other hand, they're probably getting more stuff done than me.

Well, here's what's so weird about that. If that other person was physically there, it wouldn't bother you at all.

There is a tonal difference, though. I do think that you do, like you said, you sort of yell louder, I think, on the phone, or a lot of people do.

I 100% agree that the sound of someone coming through a speakerphone or someone who's like FaceTiming, because I feel like this is also often a FaceTime situation. Yeah, it is. It's not even a phone call. It's a video chat. And there's something about that that deeply annoys me. But I do try to remind myself that if that person who's on FaceTime was just standing next to the person and they were having a conversation, it wouldn't bother me at all. They'd just be two people in the world doing something. And you're right. There is a tonal difference, but it's strange how much of them being on the phone annoys me, whereas if they were there in real life, it wouldn't bother me.

That's where it does break down for me a little bit, though. I do think that when you're talking on the phone, you talk louder. Because, like, I was on the bus the other day, and I was in those seats that, like, instead of everybody facing forward, there's a part of the bus where they have, like, kind of seats along the side of the bus. And, you know, it's just a small little section, but let's say there's four or five seats there, and you're looking across the aisle. You're face-to-face with another person across the aisle, right? And there's some guy just sitting, like, directly across from me just having a loud FaceTime conversation. And, like, there's plenty of other people on the bus having conversations, and maybe it's because this guy's facing me. but I swear I can hear him louder than anybody else on the phone there are plenty of people who are on the buses with friends and family or whatever and they're just not yelling like that well some of them are but they're off their meds alright I gotta get back to this message from Kelly I've really that's on me no it's on me Kelly says happy blurs day to my incredible sister and boss 10 Annie B Annie is the reason I'm also a 10 and can take much of the credit for making me a better human love you to Pluto and back Annie B wishing you a year that's smart because it's further than the moon wishing you a year ahead filled with laughter adventure and baby cakes cupcakes if you know you know happy birthday Emily and James finally say by the way they're in Vermont they say happy 12th birthday to our amazing five Stella Stella everyday you make us laugh make us think and make us proud that we are parents to the most skibbity Rizzler around. We wouldn't want you any other way. Love you, Monk. And that's it. Happy Blur's Day, Stella and Annie B., Jake and Liz. Hope you all have great birthdays.

I was trying to see if I – you're in luck, Andrew. I don't have my Rizzler sound effects here because I'm on the road. I was looking around for that to honor Stella, the skibbity Rizzler.

It's been a while. Since we've been getting into that sling.

Well, happy Blur's Day to everybody. And I guess that'll bring us to the end of today's episode. But I have great news. We've got another brand new piping hot edition of TBTL coming your way tomorrow. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Go Mariners.

That's right.

And we'll see you tomorrow. Please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Power out.