Muse

Sorry, broke the egg yolk. I almost had it. Had what? The perfect egg bite.

Enough with the perfect egg bite.

What's the perfect egg bite? It's everything on your breakfast plate in one perfect bite. That sounds great. How do you do that? I could take you through it if you want to see it. Alright, well, first you start with a piece of rye toast. It's got to be nice and dense so it can handle all the weight. So you take the toast and you put some butter on it. Now, you've got to make sure that you don't put too much butter on, because it's got to melt into the toast. Next thing after that is half a container of purple jelly. Okay, you mean grape? Yeah, I guess that's grape. Put that on there really nice. And then, here's the Melsky secret. Hash browns. It both keeps it separate, yet somehow unifies it into one cohesive structure. after the hash browns it's time for the ketchup i put it on in a w for was that's right and it's also the most efficient way to distribute the ketchup so each bite has a little bit of it in it now this is the perfect combination of flavors but it's incomplete it's time for the crown jewel the over easy sunny side up egg you put the over easy egg on it so that the and the yolk is facing the corner. Now the trick of getting the perfect egg bite is getting all the flavors and the unbroken yolk into your mouth. Because if it's broken, it's ruined. If we've done our work properly, we're gonna have a pretty good egg bite. I love you, babe. Here we go.

Calm down. No, don't laugh. This isn't funny, okay? It is serious to him. He is trying.

I need a win. T-B-T-L. Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is. It's Friday, Friday. Gonna get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Back here live at the Waterfront Village with my friend, the zombie, Jonathan. You're looking good. Jonathan just got an awesome face paint job. What do you think? I like turtles. What? You think I'm dressed to talk? I'm dressed to party hardy like an MC Scat Cat.

I like to rotate until the pain spreads and it's more of a numb, numb everywhere kind of thing. Okay, T-Bone, time for some serious crunching.

And boom goes the dynamite. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's called the Danger Witch, and it's dangerously good. My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host. As Jay would say, he's got flow. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, once again, fully, I mean, fully enveloped in fog. We've got the fog. Look, I know all week I've been talking about the crazy rain that we've had here in the Northwest. Lots of folks dealing with flooding up north of me here. And today, though, is another strange thing. It's the rain seems to have mostly subsided. It is actually like incredibly balmy. It's like one of the warmest days on this date ever in the history of the state.

I get warm and I'm levitating.

I think what we can agree is that nature is healing. This all seems very normal and very good for us and our future. Your immediate future, if you're listening to this, involves episode 4,618 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. I don't mean to sound, I don't know, cranky here at the top of the show. It's a Friday, of course. but I'm dealing with the potential loss of three different businesses that all kind of meant important things to me in one way or another. This is why I can't have nice things. First of all, a place in the Pacific Northwest that represented the absolute pinnacle of fun and joy for me. Kids and fantasy. He's going away. I'm talking about wild waves, the water park. And then you go all the way across the country. You go to Jimmy's Corner Bar in Times Square in New York, and that is going away as well. A place where, as an adult, I thought it was the pinnacle of fun and enjoyment.

You scare me. You're an alcoholic.

Also, the shanty is closing down in Seattle after this weekend. So a couple of bars, a water park, and a sad, sad Luke here on this Friday. Maybe this guy will be able to help pep up my mood. He's the longest-running co-bro of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I'm sure he's got some personal stories that'll make me feel better. And I'm going to get all anecdotal on you. He's Andrew Walsh. joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. We'll keep our powder dry on your special places, but you know what I realized yesterday was a bar that had been long, long rumored to be closing for years now apparently actually is closing at the end of this year, which is the Waterwheel in Ballard. Oh, yeah. Was that one of your haunts? I have some very fond memories of the Waterwheel. You know, interestingly

enough, I maybe only went there once or twice maybe three times maybe or four or four or five um but uh because it's i mean it's everything that i love in a bar i love the location kind of there in like crown hill you might call it um it's the interior when i even see like people would make pilgrimages to the water wheel and kind of say like look this is a classic seattle kind of dive bar it i don't know if it just happened to be my lifestyle at the time or the exactly you know the places I was frequent I didn't go there a whole lot but I'm sad to hear that it's going away because again it's a you know it's a classic Seattle institution yeah I want to make sure that my information is

right because I guess I am talking into a microphone to people whom this would affect but I guess I should say that my source of information on this is an invitation that I got to like some sort of a yearly and kind of an annual I guess that means the same thing but But it's something that a friend of mine puts on every, I think it happens at the end of December or the very beginning of January to sort of celebrate the changing of the year or whatever. And I rarely go to these things, to be honest with you. But usually they're at the Baranoff. But the invite this time said we're doing it the water wheel because the water wheel truly is going away, I think he said, in January. So that's my source on that information. A guy that you guys don't know who invited me to a party I might go to or might not go to.

Is that this weekend? Would that be part of some big weekend plans, Andrew?

I don't think it's this weekend. I'm getting there. But we do have other big weekend plans. The biggest one I've ever had. Big weekend. No, it's a different weekend. Okay. How about this weekend? This weekend, though, yeah, I got some things going on. I think I'm going Christmas tree shopping with Genevieve probably on Saturday. Going to meet up with some folks tonight for a little low-key birthday celebration. Not mine, somebody else's. But I think the thing that everybody's most excited about is these updates I'm getting in my inbox all week saying that my new microphone stand should be getting here someday.

And you said you didn't have big weekend plans.

Sometime before 8 p.m. today, my microphone stand should be here, and it's going to be a whole new world. I'm so sick. This microphone stand I've been using and microphone has been so janky for so long. It gets loose during the show like this, and I hate it, and it's going to be a whole new world.

Is it clipped to the table? Are you able to pick it up and show it to me? I mean, I should know what it looks like. I've been in your studio hundreds of times.

What it is, well, this is going to make a lot of noise. What else have we got going on?

You know what? It's an audio theater experience. So this is, I've been using. Oh, okay. Got like a gooseneck.

It's a gooseneck that's attached to, but the thing is, this is actually tied into, this is tied into something that I did on the show last week. I wanted to just

double check with you something, Andrew, real quick. You are intending to continue into the later stages of Big Weekend Plans song? Pardon me? You know the music

still playing? Yeah, it's back here. It's part of my Big Weekend Plans. I love it.

I didn't know. We never play it this long. I didn't even know

there were more lyrics to the song. Oh, yeah, it's a whole song.

I love it. I'm into this. I like some audio spackle. I just didn't know. I thought you said it went away.

I ducked it out as a joke because you asked me if something was happening this weekend. Oh, I didn't follow the humor. Okay. And then I said, no, it's not happening. So, of course, it was abbreviated. But I think we usually leave it trinkling along. But anyway, all of that is to say it's not just in – so this microphone I've been using is a shotgun microphone, which nobody uses as a studio mic that I've ever seen. And I've been using this –

No, you are one of one on that.

Yes, and everybody else has these different kinds of microphones, these Shure microphones that everybody in the world uses. I even saw a New Yorker cartoon that says, what your microphone says about you, and it has the Shure microphone. So anyway, all of that is to say, do you remember a couple of weeks ago, I on a whim during your introduction, I plugged in a different microphone, a fancy mic that I have had for years and years, but we're all still recovering from that. Yes, but it's actually went back to the tape. It sounded great. I don't know what you were hearing, but that microphone, it turns out, does not create issues with my setup the way I thought it did. And so this new microphone stand introduces in a whole new era of microphone usage for me. The shotgun microphone will become a backup microphone, and I will have a true studio mic on a studio arm that is going to be so much more comfortable. And wait till you hear how much better the show is going to be. That's the upshot for listeners, and you, I guess.

Is it an arm, one of these? I think they're maybe called attenuated. Yes, it is. Is it basically one of these deals?

It's exactly like that, and you have the kind that I think I'm getting, too, that has the cable.

already like kind of snaked through it professionally I got one of those things because it's going to because cable management is important to me and so this is this is where this is literally the type of stuff that TBTL donors support no joke that I can actually get equipment that I need to do the show and so I'm very excited now the only concern is you know it says it's going to get here sometime before 8 my friend's party starts at 8 will I be will I say to Genevieve just go go to the Eagles without me and I will stay home and wait for my love to meet me here.

Would you be allowed is a weird way to put it. Would that be something you might literally propose and would that potentially cause friction? If you were to use the delivery of the microphone as a pretense for maybe staying in and kind of having maybe some Andy times.

No, I don't think so. I mean, listen, I'm my own man. I don't even have to go if I don't want to. One thing that I do, I thought you might find interesting is, yeah, I'm trying to figure out, I guess I'll mention this, and I have not even talked to the people involved yet, but Genevieve was talking to some friends of ours, some good friends of ours, who invited us over to – Genevieve basically was hanging out with a friend and came home and said, hey, we're thinking about maybe just doing a casual New Year's Eve at this person's house. They have a very beautiful house up in Shoreline. It's very, very nice, and these are lovely, lovely people whom I adore and are close friends of mine, but it's a shoes-off house. and i went to a shoes off party at their house a couple i have a story for you from last night and um it was it's just like i i know i'm the weird one i know tons of people especially younger generations i just don't think it affects them but like i just feel very vulnerable i cannot socialize with my shoes off like unless we're jumping in a ball pit which i'm gonna opt out of anyway i just i don't and the thing about a new year's eve party is you can't leave early i can't like go and pretend like i'm comfortable but then leave at like 10 30 and say well I you know have to go milk the cows in the morning or something like that New Year's Eve you're locked in until midnight and I'm like I as much as I I truly I'm not just saying that because they might hear this because I don't think they will but I just do not want to sit around for like four to five hours just like with my shoes off waiting for midnight to start so I'm like I told Visa like no I'm just not into that I don't know if she's still gonna go or not but you know and I'll even I won't say the shoes thing but it also sort of speaks to the general vibe of a party like that I sort of think right if you like I'm just not I said a while back like I'm an adult now I can make my own decisions about these things I know it sounds weird I'm sure most of our listeners are like what a weird decision not to go to a party because of that but it is my decision and that's the one thing I do love about being an adult is I get to make my own decisions Andrew I had an incredibly

awkward cross-generational shoes-off conversation last night about someone that we know who shall remain nameless may even be the person in question or the persons in question here who you're describing i'm not sure i don't know how many shoes off people you know kind of doubt it i don't think okay good okay good i was chatting last night i'm just this is going to be an a maddening story because i have to be very vague about it because i can't blow up anybody's identity in this story and i will tell you off air but since you brought shoes off up i have to tell you last night i'm at livewire and i'm talking to somebody and this person said oh i uh do you know so-and-so from Seattle? I said yeah I do and they said oh you know what I just I stayed at their place and I was like watching one of their pets. I said oh wow what a small world how'd you find out about that person or how did you find out that they needed housing? They said oh there's this kind of like list serve kind of a group for people that are visiting town and need somewhere to stay and people who maybe need someone to watch their animals when they're out of town some kind of a little thing that coordinates that. I was like how cool and then so then because I can't ever leave well enough alone I had to then go oh yeah well when you were there was it a big shoes off situation because I know that about about this person and this person I was talking to said yeah yeah it was and then that should have been my cue to just go okay well I better uh just go out on stage and host this radio show now but instead I said yeah that's kind of a problem for me I feel kind of infantilized about it and in fact I've got a friend that I mentioned you who is very and I didn't mention you in relation to the person in question but i just said my buddy andrew it's like almost a deal breaker for him i'm saying this last night andrew in portland independent of you knowing it i said it's almost a deal breaker for him it's like because it's like we and i'm with you on this it feels i feel um slightly infantilized when i'm in my socks around other people and anyway so i said i'm kind of i'm kind of going hard on the idea of shoes off house and this person i'm talking to she says well my my house is a shoes off house which is and i should have known of course this person's much younger than me yeah um but it's like why did i need to why did i need to why did i need to go off on shoes off households when there was a it turns out a hundred percent chance the person

was talking to is a shoes off house person and how do you back out of that well this is what i

think is interesting and there's sort of like kind of vague tbtl ghosts that live in my head over this topic too because i think some people i mean rightfully so when i when i talk about this stuff i think a lot of listeners are like this is crazy like this like i don't think that you and i are necessarily the norm in this and by the way no no we're not i want to mention something i also house sit or cat sit sometimes for friends who are in a shoes off house i have zero problems unless I'm in a huge hurry and I'm running in there and running out, I have no problem kicking off my shoes, going in there, feeding the cat and petting it. I'm talking about there's something about me. I don't like to stand around and socialize. In the same way, I wouldn't go to a bar, even if the floors were clean, and take off my shoes and then go to the bar. There's something about that that is a huge mood shift, tone shift, whatever, and I'm not comfortable that way. When I'm socializing, I like to be fully dressed, what I consider to be fully dressed in shoes. I think there are some people who are with us on this. I think there are other people who totally disagree. And I want to make it clear, I am not at all judging the people who make that decision for their house. I'm just saying I'm at an age and a time in my life where I can say, that's great. That's your decision. The decision to make your house a shoes-off house actually makes way more sense on paper. It totally does. Especially for somebody like me who cleanliness is important to me. And also people would be like, my God, you just got off the E line and you're walking around your house. Like that argument totally makes sense. I'm not trying to say that I'm right or whatever. I'm just saying that like, well, when it comes to socializing for me, that just shifts it into a gear that I don't like. And especially one where I know there's like a certain like it's not a dip in and a dip out for me on New Year's Eve. You're in for the long haul. I think it would be more awkward for me to just show up and then leave at like 1030, especially if Genevieve didn't come with me. So I'm just going to say, no, I'm out on this one. But again, it's no judgment to shoes off houses. I'm just saying, I think I'm at that age where people can be like, that guy's weird. And I'm like, yep, I guess I'm a weird old man.

Well, I agree with you that if you think for even one moment about all the stuff at the bottom of our shoe is touching throughout the day and then coming into the home space, it's actually kind of insane that any of us have worn our shoes inside the house, like, ever. Like, that must have come around. There certainly had to be a time in the pioneer days when you were not wearing your shoes inside.

Oh, absolutely. You'd have dung all over them.

It might have been the invention of the vacuum cleaner. This actually would be an interesting—like, when did society become shoes on, even at all? Because that's a pretty crazy thing.

And that's America, too, I think. That's the other thing, too, just to mention. And I think that one of the people in this house that I'm talking about, his family, I think he's first generation or something. I think that, you know, American. And I do think it's an American – don't you think it's more of an American thing?

Absolutely. This person that I was putting my foot in my mouth last night with is a person who I believe is also first generation or parents were first generation, I guess you would say. So it's like, yeah, I mean, a lot of indicators that I should have just retired the conversation about shoes off. But here's the thing, Andrew, and I can't imagine that you will see this as a solution, but what about – and this is not like a joke answer or a joke solution to your problem. What about like some – what if you bought some slippers, but, you know, like robust kind, not like nighty-night, I don't know, I'm going around and getting ready for bed slippers, but just some kind of a shoe.

A slipper that is more like a slip-on shoe than a slip-on sock, basically? Yes.

Yes. And if you said, because you've got now, it sounds like a growing list of friends who this is how they would like their home environment to be, which again, I want to try to get in front of the angry emails. I agree with you. It is a much more hygienic. Everything about it is better except for the one thing for me, which is I feel silly with my socks on. And, but if you had a pair of, yeah, kind of house shoes that you just brought with you and you just said to these folks, hey, you know what? I know you have a shoes off house, which I really respect. It makes a lot of sense. I feel a little funny in my socks. Would you be cool with me bringing these slippers over? They're never on the ground outside. I'm carrying them into the house, and I'll just kind of wear these around. And, I mean, my guess would be that people would say yes to that. Now, the downside is you are still looking slightly different than everyone else, which might be, you know, a different kind of embarrassment. But, like, that might be a solution if you brought something that was not your outside shoes but that was not just fully socked.

I've thought about that before in a couple of different scenarios. And even this one, I think I was thinking about that the other day. But number one, that again, I just don't want anything that calls attention to me. I don't want to have the conversation with them. And again, I'm saying this because I'm pretty sure that they do not listen to this and they wouldn't. Although, you know, I was thinking about what I would say to them, which is I wouldn't bring up the shoes off policy because they would say something like that. Well, you can leave it on. I know that they would make an exception for me. You know what I mean? And I but I don't want that. I don't want exceptions for me. And so I was.

even just thinking about being straightforward. And I'm trying to be honest with people these days, not necessarily blunt, but not say, like, I'm sorry I can't make your party. That's a lie. I couldn't make your party. But say, hey, I'm sorry I'm skipping.

Like you did to me with Livewire the other day. Right.

Exactly. I'm going to be at Vons.

I'm going to be at a restaurant attached to the building you're in, sir.

Yeah, right. I can't make it into that part of the building. I'm going to be in the lobby drinking wine. They have really good wine in the Benaro lobby. Don't miss it. The best footprints in the sand. Speaking of feet, what is the – oh, barefoot? Isn't that the really cheap kind of – I'm sure they do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, barefoot. They don't sell that at Benaroy, I'm sure. But all of that is to say, I mean, that's sort of a social thing for me is like trying to be honest with people and not say, sorry, I can't make your party when that's not true. But just to say, hey, sorry, I'm skipping out on your party. I'm just, you know, New Year's Eve isn't a huge deal for me and I'm going to stay home for a little bit of alone time or something. I want to be honest with people, but also, you know, but but, you know, not not hurt any feelings. But the thing about me, though, is when you talk about like kind of workarounds or whatever, like and this is where maybe I'm just a jerk is just like I'm just very, very comfortable and happy being alone. So it's not kind of like I feel like, and again, huge love to my friends who I'm talking about, but I don't feel like, oh, man, I'm going to be missing out. You don't have FOMO. I don't have FOMO, especially on New Year's Eve. I think New Year's Eve is so overrated. I've never cared about New Year's Eve or St. Patrick's Day or any of these days that are supposed to be specifically celebratory because of this or that. I mean, at least New Year's Eve is more, I think, sort of universal and has to do with the planet. You know what I mean? Right. As opposed to a specific.

It's not the tale of an Irish saint who drove the snakes out. Right, exactly. And you've got to wear green or somebody violates your personal space.

Yeah, and, you know, celebrate that if you want to. I'm not Irish. I don't have any specific. Sorry, I'm just hearing your joke now about violating my space. Was that a kiss me I'm Irish joke?

Or a pinching people kind of a thing. Yeah, right. You go up and pinch someone because they're not wearing green.

Yeah, please don't pinch me. I'm not Irish. Anyway, yeah. So I just, it's so easy for me to be like, no, I don't need to work around this because I'm very content.

You know, it's funny because you and I do have fairly different personalities. But in this way, I think we're coming into some alignment on New Year's Eve. I have always, the handful of New Year's Eves that I think of as being my absolute favorites have been when I have hosted a get together at my house. um you know i like doing new year's eve in the home environment i could go to someone else's house too probably what i don't like is new year's eve out in the world because you're never at the right place it's always like unless somebody put in a massive amount of time like booking a table somewhere that's like you know a special i don't know booth and you got enough chair seats for everyone and like it's always everything is packed you're always kind of standing around awkwardly because you're trying to get into this thing that supposedly is going to have this fun thing happening or it's near the Space Needle or the whatever. And it's just like you're moving from location to location. It's never quite the right one. And then, I mean, I do, I'm a sucker for the whole Auld Lang Syne and, you know, it's midnight and you kiss the person you're with, all that stuff. I don't mind that moment. I like the countdown. But just like, for me, what's really fun is to just like get together with a relatively small group of folks in the home environment, ideally mine, and then just like play music and have fun and have some drinks and like that's sufficient for me but this is the one area that because becca's brother owns a bar in portland and they always have a big balloon drop because like you know uh it's just kind of i basically what i'm trying to tell you is i was for the last couple of days trying to think of a a way to propose the idea of just doing new year's eve here at my place and being like becca and maybe see if i could get you know kind of just a small group of people including maybe some of her family who i really like out here and i just thought like i don't think i can sell anyone on this because it's like for a lot of people it's like the fun of new year's eve is getting really dressed up by the way i don't have any problem with getting really dressed up just in my own house that's another thing that might be slightly weird about me like i'll put on a full-on suit just to be walking around inside my own house because it feels festive to me um but i i'm i'm kind of with you like if i could have my absolute druthers this year i would be doing new year's eve at my house with maybe a maximum of six and seven six or seven people and ringing in the new year that sounds great to me but i don't think i'm going to be successful in my in my uh sort of argument for that so i will be probably roaming the streets of portland you know uh you know doing the kind of typical new year's eve thing

well if you're comfortable being in a shoes off house i have the perfect party for you to go to I mean, that is honestly what it sounds like, this party. was going to be and again it it all sounds very nice i could even imagine like playing games or something with these folks i'm sure that would be a fun but yeah it's just uh it's weird how that lives in my head but it just feels too um i don't know there's a i feel like there's a formality around me when it comes to like kind of socializing and so and when you remove that sort of barrier it does feel like i'm a child again waiting to jump into this the the ball pit so i'll let you

I mean, the other thing is if you need them, I have, I would say about between 900 and a thousand of those little booties that you can put on. Like when you go to open house, I something was going on here where I thought, oh, I'm going to I'm going to need those because some part of the construction, who knows? So I was like, oh, you know, maybe it was I had new carpet put in upstairs and I was good. But I also was going to be working on this remodel thing up there. I thought, I'm going to go up and down these stairs a million times, and it's kind of white Berber, so I thought, I'll get some of those slip-on things. You cannot buy one to three pairs of those slip-on things. The minimum amount is 1,000. That makes sense.

Because, yeah, who's buying them but realtors and construction folks?

And they're, like, balled up. They're, like, this crazy, like, black, I don't know, oval of those little booties that are just kind of rolled together. Like, it's like a log of them showed up.

You know what it sounds like? It sounds like those – well, sort of like those – the containers that hold dog poop bags. Yes. Those are pill-shaped sort of too. It is.

It's very much like that. They're like – and so – and then the other problem is they're shrink-wrapped for some reason, which is the worst – this is like the worst design ever. So I get this shrink-wrapped log of these booties, which then to get to – I did use them. I used one pair of them, which is what I needed. to get to them I had to cut into the shrink wrap thing which now the shrink wrap is like is ruined and now I just have this loose log of booties that I don't know, also where do you put that like anyway if you need some and you want to just start throwing those on when you're out of shoes because that's another thing my guess would be and I know you're not going to do this and I understand why not but like that also could be a solution maybe that people could offer

but that would be so I wouldn't like that either like hanging, I mean I know we did it once as a lark for that live show at your house before you sold it. Oh, that wasn't a lark. I don't want people messing up the house

before it closed escrow.

But whatever, that was work. You know what I mean? It would be so weird, I think, sitting around with everybody or even just one person. They're so non. They're so flattering? Yeah, exactly. They don't blend into the background. They look like you're having some sort of a weird smurf party.

That's what you're going to be having on New Year's Eve by yourself. Right, yeah. Yeah, smurfing it. They're very kind of odd and unshapely, and they make any shoe look kind of dumb. They're like when I have to, like I did this story about this tofu company here down in Portland, Ota Tofu, and I have to wear a hairnet because it's food production, and it's like there's no way to be wearing a hairnet on television and looking in even the tiniest bit, like forget cool, just not like the biggest dork of all time.

Well, are you glad that you don't have a beard? I mean, maybe that's the one time in your life that you're really happy that you don't have a beard.

Probably so. Yeah, yeah, right, because that's a whole other level when you've got to have it kind of going on both sides of the head and everything. But I feel like those booties are the hairnets of feet. I think you're right.

In fact, get one for the beard, get one for the hair, get one for the feet.

Well, I've got them, Andrew. I've got hundreds and hundreds if anybody needs them.

Sounds good.

All right, let's thank some donors. These folks are the financial lifeblood of TBTL. We are a 100% listener-supported podcast, supported by listeners like Jenny Evans of Carlsbad, California.

Nice. Thank you, Jenny.

My two yearly data points on Carlsbad, California. I've been saying this for as long as we've been thanking donors from Carlsbad, California. I've been bringing up these two things.

Okay, let me guess. Number one, caves. Oh, good point. The caverns? And judgmental towards Carl. Carl's bad? How about Carl's good? Or even just Carl's an okay guy? How about Carl's dealing with a lot? Yeah, exactly. How about you walk a mile in Carl's shoes through those caverns?

How about you take off your shoes? Yes. And then you put on Carl's shoes. That's right. You wear them for a moment. Legoland.

Ah, yes, of course.

The Legoland Amusement Park. And Tony Hawk.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I believe he's from Carl's.

Did he get his start in the caverns? Those are kind of like half pipes.

Sure, yeah, I'm skating them. Sure.

Also, and thirdly, Jenny Evans. Those are the three big sort of things about Carlsbad that I like to think about. When I think of Concord, New Hampshire, Andrew, of course, well, I think of you and Genevieve living there. I think of you eating Chinese food at lunch when you were working at NHPR and then kind of feeling low-key going back to work. Yep, yep. And then I think of Ryan Bengston.

Are you thinking of Ryan Bengston because he was literally my neighbor, like four doors down? What? We were very, very good friends and remain in touch. And Ryan, to see your name on this list is truly heartwarming and humbling. Thank you, Ryan. Ryan wrote me a note maybe five years ago and said, hey, just checking in. We hadn't talked in a long time. He said, just checking in and wanted to respond to some things I heard on TBTL. And I said, what the hell are you doing even knowing about TBTL, let alone listening to TBTL? Why is that our reaction? I don't know. Well, because he was somebody who, you know.

I'm so mortified when someone from my past is aware that this is how I'm making a living.

Because I didn't do it at the time. In fact, I was probably listening to TBTL on my headphones while mowing the lawn when I knew Ryan. And I had no part of this show. And so it wasn't part of our relationship. So then when I find out somebody, as Guillote would say, somebody that I used to know was listening to TBTL, I found it quite shocking. Then when he checked in again a few weeks ago or a couple of months ago, I was shocked to hear that he was sticking with it. So thank you, Ryan. Really do appreciate it. Thanks, Ryan. Love hearing from you. That's really cool. Yeah, great, great family.

At some point, we will have monetized all of our friends and family. I know, we have to. And then, I don't know, I guess we'll just ride off into the sunset.

Make new friends. That's getting increasingly difficult for me with all of my rules about social life. Exactly. It's going to be hard if you won't leave the basement on New Year's Eve, sir. Certainly.

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold. Do you remember that one?

Did you learn that one as a kid? I do. I know that one. And I think I know it from a kid. At this point, I literally don't know if I just know it from you. But I think I know that from my childhood.

An interesting thing to really be hammering into the minds of children. I mean, it's not a bad sentiment, but I don't think – I mean, maybe it is, actually. I was going to say, I don't know if it's that important to life, but maybe it is. Social connections are important. We know that. But it's just funny that that was a song that we were taught. Like, were they really worried that our move was going to be making new friends and completely forgetting the old friends?

Because I remember singing a pretty sentimental song about that in sixth grade. It was like our elementary school graduation sort of. Was it End of the Road by Boyz II Men? It was End of the Road, and let's see, Mrs. Velardo poured out some malt liquor onto the stage. Everybody who is fact-checking me there, yes, I know Mrs. Velardo was my third-grade teacher, not my sixth-grade teacher. I couldn't think of my sixth-grade teacher's name at the time.

Well, Ryan Bankston knows. You guys are way back.

Absolutely. By the way, this is not really appropriate here, but I just want to say that little song you sang reminds me of something that I saw yesterday in a movie, which was like some little rhyming song teaching kids to still say please and thank you or something. That's not really important. The important thing is I heard it in the movie Ernest Saves Christmas, which I finally put on. You did it, Andrew. Well, sort of. At the beginning of the season, I noted that it was not available on any streaming service for free. But then, as the season has deepened, I did find it on Pluto TV yesterday, I think, and I hit play on it.

Was it on Pinecone TV?

Yes! After what?

After the Butterbeef Mysteries?

The Butterbeef Mysteries on Pinecone TV. Copyright to whoever put that joke out on the universe.

Yeah, whoever tweeted that or Blue Sky did it or whatever.

But to answer the question, you and I were talking, like, would that stand up for us? We liked that as kids, or at least I liked it as a kid. Would it would it stand up to watch it as an adult, but also somebody who has nostalgia for that time? And the answer is no. Not that it didn't like Jonathan Winters in it. I know that guy. And I forgot that guy who looks like Jonathan Winters and his little buddy who doesn't really speak much. They're in all of those. I kind of forgot that. Or if you had mentioned it, it sort of went past me. But I will say this. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it or that maybe if I had kids, maybe I'd watch it with them. But it is a children's movie. It is cacophonous. It is a lot. You know what I mean? It is like there's nothing for it for me. There's nothing in it for me at age 49 in the year 2025 watching it myself while folding clothes. You know what I mean? So I'm not condemning the movie, but no, I made it 15, 20 minutes in. And then I said, you know what? Let's save this one for the children.

I wonder how far I would make it into that movie. I won't know for a while because I am still locked into a serious Shetland situation with my dad. we got we got more shetland to watch tonight speaking of my dad i don't know if we'll get to this but later in the show i was going to tell you about a a somewhat maddening conversation that i overheard it's really less about my dad and more about how just i'm

What I'm realizing is that I am a very un-chill person in that I have the way that I think I would do things or handle things. And when people are handling things their way, it's very unsettling for me. And I had a front row seat to it this morning. But let's actually focus on the task at hand, which is thanking Megan C. Perry, who's in Omaha, Nebraska.

Thank you, Megan C.

We call her the Oracle of Omaha.

Is that what we call her?

Well, that's already taken. We call her our Warren Buffett.

Oh, I don't think I know that. Famously.

We call Megan our awesome donor in Omaha, which I think even has a better ring to it than Oracle of Omaha. Jennifer Strom is our awesome donor in St. Charles, Illinois. Oh, thank you, Jennifer. I have a feeling that's near the Mississippi River, and the reason is because it's kind of got a sort of a, I don't know. It sounds like a name that seems like it was a river port. Doesn't that sound St. Charles? Doesn't that sound like somewhere along the Mississippi?

I can't tell if you are punking me here because you looked it up because it is. Oh, wait, wait. It is literally on the river, but it is on the Fox River, though.

The Fox River?

What is the Fox River?

So my logic, I was on to something, but I was on the wrong river.

But Luke, copyright this, a river runs through it. Like, quite literally, the Fox River runs through St. Charles. So St. Charles was built around a river, clearly.

Now, to take a little bit of the shine off of that W for me, I bet you that a lot of things in those days were built near a river because it was a way to get around. So that's, I guess, I'm not. You know, it reminded me, I mean, I was wrong about it, but that name, the reason that that name seemed to me to maybe be kind of associated with the mississippi river was because remember when we did that sort of hitchhiking trip where we tried to hitchhike down the mississippi and get to uh down to actually the state of mississippi the original idea was to try to float float the mississippi yes yeah and i got into the logistics of that which are it turns out complicated yes but i was looking at all of these at one point i'm looking at all of where could we park the boat in the you know the various you know when we get south of cairo illinois because i think that was where it goes from kind of a pretty mild situation to just like heavy industrial traffic yes it was gonna be very very industrial

can you imagine that would have been i mean maybe it would have been amazing podcasting but that would have been just an absolute disaster that would have been such a disaster i think i think

it would have been a bad scene i mean it would have been again it would have been memorable but i think i mean just the level of difficulty i know a person who kurt brown all are the comedian and writer he jet skied the mississippi from the very tippy top down to the gulf um i think he was raising money for something actually but like that's kind of what you have to do like first of all the kind of like he did that because it allowed him to actually actually complete the mission because they're just like it's just one of those things where the logistics of just getting in a boat getting in a motorboat in like lake itasca and then just going on down through you basically have the sections of the mississippi as i understand it where it's pretty navigable and pretty safe for small boats um but it's like a lot of like locks there's just a lot of different like level changes to the river so you're just constantly waiting to like get let out you know into the next lock and step down and whatever and then there's some point where it stops being that way and now your life is in constant danger because massive tankers are just like you know shooting past you and there's nowhere to stop that was the other problem there was like these hundreds of miles where there would be nowhere for us to park the boat and like go stay in a hotel or even like throw out a tent or something so and also i'm trying to remember if this idea

was before or after the crash the great ss disaster voyage or whatever we called that story you told on the show about the time you had your you couldn't get your boat out of the slip and then you ran out of gas i mean it was just like such a disaster story and i remember enjoying that story But I feel like we have these conversations about floating down the Mississippi after that. And it makes me wonder, what the hell was I thinking to even entertain that?

I can't imagine you would have even entertained that notion after the SS disaster voyage. I feel like it might have been – it would have to have been before that because I think I was feeling my oats. I think I thought I was a boat guy. And that was back when I'd be taking you and Camaro Kev and our pal Nick Jarin out and stuff.

And then we were just casually breaking down in the middle of the lake for those. Yes, but there's different levels of boat breakdown.

that one was that felt within the realm of like you know the motor the engine died or the battery died okay that'll happen we got towed back in that was like but that's a that didn't feel like it was as as clear evidence of of operator error and dereliction of duty it was like as Me crashing into various boats as I'm jamming it out of the marina with Camaro Camp's parents in the boat.

You came out of that relatively unscathed, by the way. When I look back, and I was re-listening to that recently, it was such a bigger epic than I remembered. I remember people loving that episode, and I remember being on the edge of my seat. But years go by, and then you go back and you listen again. And you're just living life like a normal, free man right now.

well yes and no because you know that that ended up on my auto insurance did i tell you this i don't know i don't remember years later i was switching my auto insurance i was doing something with my insurance and that was going to be more costly than i was expecting and i said huh um why is that and they said well you had a claim back in whenever and i was like i don't think i've had a car crash in like years and years i don't know if i've ever even put a claim in on an automobile automobile accident and they were like well we have the date right here and it was and i was like and what i finally figured out was it was the boat crash oh this does it was on my policy and i guess it goes in the same category or something oh so it wasn't a mistake it just lives there it wasn't a mistake i mean it's like the classic thing they say like when when you when you have an event and you know you have a car crash or some kind of a problem and the question of filing the insurance claim comes down to is this going to cost me more money in in my premiums going up you know or is Should I actually file the claim on this And just eat it on the premiums going up Or should I just pay for this out of pocket And I guess I just I thought well I'm done owning This level of boat now I was so happy That's why I don't know I wonder if the Mississippi plan I would be surprised if it was after I had the big boat crash Because I think when I had the big boat crash Something inside me You could say something died But you could maybe more accurately say I came to a realization that it's you know it's it's uh it's it can be more treacherous out there than than you think and like i just i can't imagine that i would have thought yeah the mississippi river that should be my next project as a boat captain but it's possible who knows i'm uh i used to drink a lot

i just can't i can't and i know that this might hit close to maybe you don't want to talk too much about it because it is private and i'm not sure if you're in if your insurers still listens to the show or not but it doesn't seem to me like those should go in the same buckets because insurance is kind of like do we trust you with said equipment and experience and i sort of feel like if you have a stellar driving record and you're really good at driving a car but then one day you have a you you try a boat situation it doesn't work out and then you say you know what i'm never gonna ride and i'm never gonna pilot a boat again and then you leave that behind but They're like, it's too bad that boat situation will forever be attached to your car situation. It's like, but you trust me with a car, and I'm not going in a boat anymore. I feel like they should be different things.

Well, here's the thing. One, I don't think it was actually involving insurance agent of the stars, Kevin O'Brien, who I love and who is still my insurance agent for many things. I think it had to do with when I was insuring my car in Oregon. If we just really want to dig deep into the details. I guess we do. My apologies. Let's do it. Why not? This is my fault. You know who loves this? Megan Rodriguez of Austin, Texas Megan is in Austin going like, I wonder what the insurance implications are of crossing state lines I think what happened was I, because Kevin is based in Washington state, when I had my time living in Portland, I think he said, you know, for some part of me it was my auto insurance, basically I was it was a new provider, and so what happened was, I don't even think it was that my old insurance was jacking up my rates because of the boat crash, I think it was the new provider was trying to get a sense of me yeah and by the way apparently they can i think this is the this is the subject of some amount of legal wrangling but like i think insurance companies use your credit score sometimes like and i think that's something that's been pushed back on is like that's really unfair to a lot of people like but the insurance company obviously is trying to uh you know watch their bottom line and one of the things that they're trying to do is get a sense of like what sort of a liability are you yeah and so i think what it was was a totally new company that was telling me we're gonna it's gonna charge you x for this auto insurance and i thought boy that's a lot higher than what i was paying and they said well we're looking at your record of filing claims and the boat was on there but it didn't show up as a maritime disaster it was just it seemed like it was just a claim that's why i was so confused because i was like did i have a car crash and not know about it and file a claim for it we're going to recommend the wild card policy to you as in you are one oh man you should have seen how wild i was last night after live wire there was a big after party down at the show bar in revolution hall and i could not have been on the road faster going back to my home to the point where my phone was blowing people like where are you? Why aren't you down here? Huh? hodgman john hodgman's on the show he's like i thought we were getting a drink thought we were friends thought we were building something kind of literally i think that might have happened he's the guy is such a mensch i mean what an absolute sweetheart but we were talking in the green room he's like i'm going downstairs you're gonna be down there and i was like i think so no intention

you didn't even you didn't even stick your nose in i guess if you if you show your head then you

can't get out you're like then i can't get out you're gonna you're gonna relate to a conversation

that howard stern had about his upcoming holiday party that you haven't listened to yet about how i'm getting back in there have you gotten to the i love the holiday party talk he gets there and he's talking about how he's like you know i get in i don't want to tell people not to talk to me but we just need a period where maybe i can just eat because he's like i come in and then there's there's like a coat check area and immediately people start talking at the coat check area and

you never get out of the coat check area i um i did not want to well one i was just tired you know and I just wanted to get home but it was, boy, you just talk about you talk about the opposite of a wild card I don't know what's going on with me it's like, my dream night these days episode of Shetland not to be started after 8pm a couple of steal a couple of Walt's Vienna fingers and in bed by 9.30

Are you watching those by yourself now or was he there? No, no, no.

My dad is, in fact, he had to steal. The final episode of the season, of the new season, didn't even drop. It didn't even hit England until, like, Wednesday night, and my dad was just, like, friggin' going full sneakers on it. Love that. Just toasting the quarterback. Nice. And he was like, okay, it's downloading, it's downloading. And then I just hear Shetland playing on his computer, and he's like, got it.

Man. And your dad is actually young enough to play Robert Redford in college. Do you remember how they sneak that in the beginning? They show, like, whatever present-day Robert Redford is, but they try to make him look like he's still a college student. They don't recast, in other words. So you have like this 40.

I don't think I've ever even seen sneakers.

I've never seen the whole thing, but I remember being curious a long time ago now, five, ten years ago, and I put it on, and it's so funny because Robert Redford is playing himself as a college student at the beginning of it, and he must be well.

Probably 60 or 70 at the time?

Let me see, how old was Robert Redford?

Let me use this time to thank James Hayes of South Orange, New Jersey. Hey, that's a great town, South Orange, New Jersey. James, thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for being from there.

James, you'll find this interesting. I'm talking directly to James here. Robert Redford was 56 years old when Sneakers was released. So let's say maybe he was 55. And I'm not trying to be ages here. I don't think I should play a college student either. And I'm a young 49, you know. I am not a young anything. But, yeah, so it's just really interesting. They use, like, kind of lighting and shading. and like very but it's just like recast just i guess the problem is if you have robert redford you don't cast a young robert redford he plays himself he does all of his own playing that's

one of the things they did in that movie uh sorry um jay kelly the new movie with sandler and george clooney in it is they have that's why i was saying that movie kind of felt like a throwback to me a significant portion of the movie is someone who's not george clooney playing like a 24 year

george clooney but they have another actor doing that you have another actor doing it they're not

trying to do it with cgi they're not trying to do it with um creative you know wig wigsmanship it's just like a it's a it's a person who looks to be honest with you not that much like george clooney to my to my eyes a little bit i mean you know but it's like they went with it you know it's kind of surprising in 2025 because you'd think oh no they're gonna just cgi you know You know, they're going to put a bunch of ping pong balls on Clooney. They're going to have Andy Serkis play a young George Clooney, but then they're going to put his young face on it or something from Roseanne. This is going to be so annoying for the listeners who have seen the movie Sneakers, because I have not seen the movie Sneakers, but I know Robert Redford's in it. I just always assumed he was just like the leader of the crew, but that he was like an FBI guy or something. Like, you had the young, you have, like, the, you know, is it, like, is it Christian Slater, isn't it, or River Phoenix, or one of those young stars?

Let me see here. I don't remember that much about it, and I will say, I want to say, in case I gave the wrong impression here, it only begins with a flashback of them in college at the beginning of their hacking careers.

Maybe it's him and Aykroyd or something.

It says Robert Redford, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley. No, no, no. Mary McDonnell, River Phoenix, there you go. Sidney Poitier and David Strathairn. I don't know if I'm saying his name.

Oh, sure, a young David Strathairn. Strathairn, is that what you say? He's the good night and good luck guy, I think.

Oh, okay. I get him confused with another guy with a similar name who's like an action guy. Do you have any idea of him?

Oh, yeah, Jason Statham.

Statham, yes. Strathairn.

I don't like the fact that it looks like they have Strathairn playing a person who is blind. mind oh is this true because he's not in real life and he's holding a cane and they have him looking in a direction that is not towards the camera in the way everyone else is looking at the camera which i read to mean his character or someone who's visually impaired i not that we need to litigate this on a friday morning but like do we feel like i feel like there are probably enough great actors who happen to be visually impaired that that'd be a really good opportunity to cast

them in the role that's really interesting i mean what you said i mean how could i argue with that you know what i mean that is better not that is a good you know that is a good point like that is a good opportunity to maybe cast people who are otherwise overlooked so i can't argue with that i will say and if this makes me sound like a a cad or not a cad but if it makes me feel like kind of thoughtless it didn't occur to me that it would be controversial to have a sighted person play a blind person because it is and this is where you get into that stuff like what is somebody playing well a different race okay well yeah exactly but then also acting is acting like someone else but then like are you playing somebody who has some sort of other disability and then you're like okay you know so I don't know where it is the blind thing had not occurred to me and I'm trying to think of other movies with maybe well

Scent of a Woman with Al Pacino right okay I was thinking there's oddly referenced a lot on the show lately yeah that's all I know

so yeah so that's kind of interesting I know we have blind listeners I'd be open to hearing what you guys have to say about it yeah absolutely

yeah I'd be curious too I mean you're right it's a kind of one of those you know the idea of acting is you're pretending well if we could go back to the great words of Ian McKellen yes how do I act so good

yes

they are not my words they are written on a script thanks to our donors for making TV Teal happen Hello and welcome to Top Story. I've got some big weekend plans, Andrew, of having my family, my family over this weekend, primarily Saturday night and Sunday for kind of a holiday get-together. I was trying to keep the pressure super-duper low on it. In other words, I was like, no presents, please, although we have now decided to do like a white elephant or something.

Oh, okay, yeah. That always goes well with your family. Yeah, right? Oh, good. I'm looking forward to Monday's show.

Oh, good. The thing that creates maybe the most drama in our family. I didn't want anyone to have this on the calendar and be feeling stressed. Like, oh, I've got to get a present for everyone, and I've got to wrap them and bring them in. Because I don't want anything or need anything. And so I was like, no presents. I was like, I will do all of the food. All of that has also crumbled because some various siblings are bringing stuff. But I just wanted to have, like, a fun hangout on Sunday, kind of around the holiday, but not in a way that it's going to be adding stress to anyone's life. That was kind of my whole goal with this. And we're still pretty much on track for that, so I'm excited about that. But I also decided, well, it had to do with my dad's schedule, but it was, like, there was kind of one last thing in my house that had been untouched during all of these, like, years of Reno. And that was this very small bathroom, which when I bought this house was the only bathroom in the house. And it's never been painted or updated or retiled. So that's what I kind of have been working on with my dad a little bit this week. And so it means that my dad's been staying here. We've been watching Shetland. We've been cooking up meals. It's been really fun, actually, per usual. But it also is the case that we have different ways of being in the world, me and Walt. He's a little more of a belt and suspenders guy. And we ran into it this morning. I had the hardest time not telling him I told you so. I didn't. I guess I'm doing it here instead because he's not a listener. And by the way, Sibs, when you come over on Sunday, be cool. Nobody drop a dime on me if you are listening to this.

Also, thanks for listening.

Yeah, and supporting. We've got my sister and brother donate, as does my mom, by the way. Thank you. So thanks. Told you one day. Thank God I'm from a big family. So we've got a lot of potential investors in the whole thing.

Yes, that's a good way of looking. In fact, when you greet your family this weekend I would like you to say Welcome investors

I have a PowerPoint and a prospectus I'd like to share with you about Investing in TBTL I'll tell you, the arbitrage that goes on They invest in TBTL, I get a paycheck And then I pay my dad to renovate the bathroom It's sort of the way that all the AI stuff works now Where it's like, they're all loaning each other The same $10 billion So that they can keep doing it That's basically what goes on here on a much smaller scale but so my dad so my mom and dad you know are in this like one of these timeshare things and amazingly they actually get their money's worth out of this thing they are constantly going and using these timeshares i think much to the disappointment of the people who run the time right Yeah, it's like the gym. We didn't expect you to show up.

We sell you this, and then you never come use it, and then we sell it to someone else. You're not supposed to use all of your credits every single year, Burbanks, but they do. And so my dad was booking. My dad was using some part of their account, I guess, to try to book a room for a couple of nights in Seattle for my sister Liz and her family. because you know downtown seattle they got the big christmas tree up and i think the idea was oh it'd be fun to take a little kind of winter break weekend trip over to seattle kind of walk around do some shopping and stay right down there and they have like one of these actually it's the camlin hotel in seattle which for years when i was in my 20s there was a really cool bar called the cloud room that was at the top of the camlin hotel it was real kind of old school seattle now it's a world mark and now my parents can like call in and get you know kind of like get rooms there but it's one of these like it's sort of like flying standby so this whole week my dad has been like carefully like refreshing refreshing refreshing the page to see if there are rooms available and sure enough and they hadn't been available hadn't been available and sure enough this morning he's like oh wow there's a room so he's like he's he's got he starts out with i think he's on his laptop and he's trying to put in his in put in the information to book this guest thing, but he's really intent on it being my sister's legitimate information. So he's like, well, dude, do you have a, ah, I can't find Liz's contact card in my laptop. So then he gets out his iPad. So he's got his iPad going now, but he's, and the clock's ticking because from when, that you, when you start the reservation, there's 14 minutes. It's really like the movie Sneakers, Andrew, if you think about it. It's a countdown before you get locked out of the system permanently. And so he's like, now he's got his iPad and he's trying to find the contact And he was like, do you have her info? And I'm like, he's like, because this thing is always kicking me out. And I go, hey, Dad, they don't care about her address. Just put your address in. It needs to be under her name, obviously, but it doesn't need to be her address. That has no relevance to this. He's like, well, sometimes if, and I can just tell that he is just fully at this point making things up. This has never been a problem. He's like, well, sometimes if it's not their address, then it's, you know. And I can hear him deciding, like, how far do I want to go into this lie? Like, because there is no universe in which she shows up for the reservation and they say, what is your address? Because it's on there. It's on my parents' account. She starts sweating. She's like, oh, what's my address?

Like I do when I always have, I keep my friend's address in the back of my head when I'm using the dump up in Shoreline. Because I have the sticker for it, but I'm always worried they're going to grill me.

And the thing of this is, it's all above board. He's using a guest pass. It's on his account. it's not even like there's no skullduggery here right there's no like it's not like she has to like my two nephews have to get into a trench coat like Olsen twins and pretend they're one

Walter Burbank or something you could just say yes she's living with us temporarily like I mean there are so many explanations yeah unless there's so there was something about you're showing your ID and there's like your ID is the wrong address but the only thing is like I've had the wrong address on my id for years and years and years now yes there's no there are a million ways in

which this address being associated with my sister's actual place of residence is absolutely and completely superfluous and the clock is counting down and it's like but i can just see that my dad just you know he's just a detail guy you know he's just a guy i mean he's a guy who pays his taxes on every dime that i pay him for this remodel he pays the appropriate state and federal taxes on like from his son giving him venmo him money you're actually meeting him in

a garage with a suitcase with a briefcase full of money that's how you're paying him and then he's

i've paid no taxes on the money i mean it's it's coming from offshore accounts it's untraceable but i mean that's who this guy is and you know i respect that about him and so i was trying to in the moment i wasn't trying to push him too hard on it because i could also see that it was starting to kind of the stress of it would mean again he's 71 or 72 one day i'll know how old he is he's in the 70s and he's you know he's got this ticking clock and he's trying to navigate these he's got the ipad here he's got the he's got the um he's got the laptop he's typing something i think he's texting her from his phone now so now we've got three devices going we've got the phone because he's texting liz trying to get her address and i'm like she's a teacher she's in class right now so and by the way also all of the alerts are on on all of his devices oh volume wise volume it sounds constantly so hawk squad is popping off because we've also just learned that wild

waves is closing oh i said everyone on my press release i sent you the press release two days ago i said this could be a good show topic if this was important to your childhood you never responded hold on really did you seriously not i i kind of thought it was interesting because i i was proud of myself for see I didn't break

of the news, but I saw the press release before the newspapers picked it up because somebody tweeted it out, and I sent that to you from the bus the other day.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. You know what? I haven't even opened it. Goodbye, Wild Waves. I am so sorry.

It must have come in. Let's see. No, that's okay. I was just looking for the attaboy. Well, attaboy.

No, that's a great story for us. Thank you. There's another story about dynamic pricing. 3.41 p.m. on December 10th. What was I doing?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I just remember sending that to you from the bus. I was very productive on the bus the other day. I was listening to TBTL voicemails. I was sending you show topics. I had a whole little waltz situation going. I had several laptops and an iPad.

Well, that's where we find ourselves now in this part of the story is. And by the way, it's also like when he types on his iPhone, you hear the sound of the clicking, you know what I mean? That kind of thing. So he's clicking away, trying to text Liz from the iPhone about, like, what's your address? Meanwhile, he's got the laptop up. He's got the iPad going. Each one, whenever a Hawk Squad message, and when the Hawk Squad messages start, they're fast and they're furious. so it's just like bing bing bing yeah typing the clock is ticking down and all i want to say is the address doesn't matter and then he's finally like oh okay i think i found it and then he's like and then he's like god damn it did the time run out he ran out of time oh no and i'm like oh man i feel bad for him because he's frustrated and and i know at this point it's not like i don't it's killing me to not say dad you should have just you should have just put in a made-up address for that matter or your address that's what killed you that's what that's what that's what delayed you so then he's like ah i hate this system if if he could have changed blamed it on chinese bullshit he would have but he's like but he's like so then he's like now i gotta call him so he's like calling and i can just tell my dad is like one of the sweetest most peace-loving people that i know like he is just an absolute sweetheart and um and and is really thoughtful to people and and is just great in that way there is one weird thing which is like he when he's on the phone i don't know if it's because he can't see the person or maybe just he's feeling stressed so what he thought was he had secured this room for his daughter who he loves and now he's being told he's getting locked out of the system and now he thinks that the room has probably been given away or you know rented in the time that he's now trying to get on the line with these people so i can just see kind of feel his kind of tension level riding and like i can hear the person who answers the phone they sound pretty nice like hi so-and-so and it's like the opening salvo from my dad which made me so crazy it was like first of all i would say 700 decibels louder than it needed to be not yelling like i'm mad at the person he's just all worked up he's worked up And it's like, hi, this is Walt Burbank. My owner number is, sorry, my, my, oh, I'm sorry. He goes into like a coughing fit. My owner number, and he's like reading the string letters. I'm trying to get, I was trying online to make the reservation for my daughter. And she, and I just hate this system because it just does this to me all the time. And if I can't, if I'm not able to get this room for her, I'm going to be, I don't know what I'm going to be. And it's like, this is a solid minute of kind of preamble. Yeah. Which, like, I get, by the way, like, I get worked up in my own way about it. Like, I know what's going on here. I can kind of, I can, I'm watching it happen in real time, and I'm understanding what the driving factors are. It's relatable.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know to what degree I've done that, but I know that I've been in frustrating situations before, and then by the time I get somebody on the phone, I have so much to say. I mean, I do it on this show. So, yeah, I mean, it's both, I understand what you're saying from a detached point of view, watching this almost like a slow motion car crash from afar. but also i don't want to go too hard on your dad because i've been there as well totally yes i so

i'm like i got to get out of here because i can't be in the room when he finds out that they that somebody else has rented the room i was like i don't want to be here for that so i like it was actually good for me because i was i was um procrastinating on doing my jog on the treadmill so it was like a really i was like i got about 10 seconds to get out of here before the shit it's the fan i know a dad who's at his limit run out here and amazingly when i come by the time i come back inside the room has been booked it's all good it's all worked out they helped him out he's all set he's all ready to go so there's a happy ending to the story but it was and i was proud because of myself because at no time did i tell him dad you didn't need to put the address in It's just, it's a jib jab. Dad. You don't need the real address.

It's a jib jab. Now, I need to tell you a little bit of a story that is hot off the presses. It is super hot off the presses, but it's a short one. Don't worry. A moment ago, when we were talking about the movie Sneakers, I thought what I need to do for a show pick is find a clip. You.

Full Robert Redford. Quote, unquote, youthful Robert Redford. Quote, unquote. You know, him as a 55-year-old playing a college student from this movie. But the thing is, it's just a flashback at the beginning of the movie. It's not his main look. His main look in the movie is actually wearing a youthful Letterman's jacket, but as a 40- or 50-year-old man or whatever he plays in the movie. So I'm clicking around Google Images, sneakers, Robert Redford College, or whatever. I find the perfect image. I'm looking around for better ones there's only one really and he's got a little mustache he's got this giant wig on he's sort of half in shadows and I'm like well this is perfect it even looks square and ours have to be perfectly square in order for iTunes to read them so I click on it and it's a snake eating its tail it just took us to TBTL it's the show pick that I used for episode 3956 The title was, I don't know how dirty those birds get from May 31st, 2023, it looks like. Andrew does exactly what all of his years of cybersecurity training have taught him not to do. Plus, Netflix has officially started cracking down on password sharing. So we must have gotten on some sort of a hacker kind of conversation. And I'll bet you I brought up the same exact point. Oh, and I bet you I was surprised. I have it captioned here. I don't even caption these photos usually, but this one is captioned. Robert Redford is a very convincing college-age hacker in sneakers. So anyway, I guess we owe some donors their money back.

What is sadder you? No, no givebacks. Sorry. I got to pay Walt. He's charging me an extra X dollar per hour so he can pay Uncle Sam.

It would be funny if we put that on the donation page. No givebacks. Or no takebacks.

I think you said no take-backs when I was a kid, really.

Just no take-backs, yes. What were you going to say, sir?

Oh, no. Just that I don't know what's sadder that maybe—I don't know if you forgot, but that you brought up this Robert Redford. They're trying to pass him off as young in sneakers thing. And, again, I don't know if you forgot bringing it up on the show previously or not, but that I forgot that that was a thing. I was truly delighted by that information today. Even though you've delighted me with that information, we know a minimum of one other time.

You know what I'm going to do for the show pick today? I'm going to take a screen cap of the TBTL page from May of 2023.

Oh, that's great. Wait, can you hold up two mirrors? Try to get an infinity mirror going with the show pick? We're going to incept our own show here. I just want to say quickly before we're kind of scooting on today that the Shanty Tavern is going to be shutting down there on Lake City. and you know as an adult I went to the shanty a handful of times but really as a kid it was like a big thing in my life because we used to drive Lake City way between where we lived at Green Lake and where we went to church at Gospel Outreach Christian Fellowship up there in Briar and I remember as a kid that sign I mean the shanty taverns sign is just absolutely iconic and it was the first place that I remember as a kid having a sense that it was somewhere where people went to drink alcohol and it probably had to do with like the font even it's real little abner you're not from the seattle area uh and you don't know the shanty it was just like it has this sign that says the shanty tavern that it looks like it's right out of the pages of little abner and i just remember being a kid and passing that on my way to church and just thinking like wow that's where grown-ups go to be drunk and to sin and like it was i mean every sunday and many other days during the week of my life for many, many, many, many years. I went by the shanty tavern and it actually has such a great kind of wholesome, cool story. I was finding out from, um, it was a vanishing Seattle post. I didn't know any of this part that it was, uh, it was owned by, uh, this guy, uh, who had owned it for since the 1960s. He was 90, I think he's 94 years old. His name is John Spaccaratelli he's retiring at 94 years old and um just the history of the place it was uh it was built in 1932 it sort of moved around a bunch but then John this guy ended up buying the tavern did you read any of the details of this guy John Spaccaratelli's life no you know when it when

uh the news broke or when I saw it in the Seattle Times I should say I scanned it really really quickly and I saw that there was some backstory there can I just mention though that one thing from going back to your childhood experience of passing this place, because I've passed it a million times too, and I've always been very curious about it. I've never darkened the door, but at least in this day and age or in the 10 years or so that I've been driving past it a lot, I think it also not only is the, and actually I'll probably use the picture of this sign as maybe the show pic today, because it is so iconic and it's better and less confusing, but...

It is cute in a certain way, but it also really does give the impression of, you mentioned being a kid and being like, that's where adults go to sin. It's also near old school adult bookstores, or at least one old school adult bookstores.

Well, it was around the corner from something called Golden West Entertainment, which was, if I remember right, it was the mafia-controlled ownership of multiple strip clubs in Seattle. It was in a real kind of like, it was in the vice district.

It really was. And I swear there's like, because I remember it's just, it's like, how do those places stay in business? You would have the shanty and then you would have this place that just was like XXX adult books, only I don't think it was XXX. But it was, but in other words, even me driving by, I'm like, oh, this is the kind of sketchy, this is the sketchy stretch here. So, I mean, and it sounds like that's maybe a bad reflection of a bar that doesn't really, doesn't really fit that is what maybe it sounds like you're saying. You said the story is a bit more wholesome.

Well, yeah, so it was built in the 1930s. It was owned by a couple of families, and then eventually this guy, John Spacartelli, he buys it in the 1960s. He was a Korean War vet. This is the description from Vanishing Seattle, who loves people and music. He serves up drinks and tirelessly works the room, and if he's really feeling the music, he'll come out from behind the bar and sing with the band or hit the dance floor with a customer. This person who's writing it says, But John was the first person who told me about Garlic Gulch. He grew up there, the son of Italian immigrants. I've always been really fascinated with Garlic Gulch. That's like that stretch of Rainier Avenue where they're like the O Boy Oberto used to be. And I-90 pushed through there and they used Eminent Domain to just like take a bunch of people's homes and stuff. But that area was where a lot of like Italian-Americans lived and ran businesses and stuff. This guy, John, grew up there, the son of Italian immigrants. He also loves to play the piano and is the oldest player in the Puget Sound Senior Softball Association. A prized pitcher for the Seattle Sloops. In total, he's played in the league for over 50 years. The Shanty has also sponsored countless women's and men's sports teams over the decades, etc. So just this guy, John, there's a picture of him. He's wearing a Huskies sweatshirt and just seems like an absolute classic, classic Seattle dude grown up in garlic gulch and owning the shanty tavern for whatever 50 60 years so um that's i guess tonight's going to be or this weekend's going to be the final night of the shanty uh also as we've already alluded to the announcement that wild waves down there in federal way i i think the well you read the press release i guess i didn't andrew are they're going to do one more

summer like they're doing one more summer yeah through 2026 and so you know this is probably not relevant to most people in our audience but i remember they were very specific to say if you have any events planned or you bought tickets for anything during the 2026 season which i guess runs from may through what probably september or something like that yeah probably and uh you know they will be going strong for that but i'm also assuming that i assume that they will have a real booming year right like with the idea of this going away i'm assuming that a lot of people will show up for at least one last one last slip down the slide yeah i mean this thing was if you

grew up in seattle in the 80s as i did the wild waves was was like it was this mythical magical land of fun that you didn't get to go to very much because it's kind of far away but like you know our class you'd get to go there sometimes like you know with your class uh you know i'm sure they gave discounts to schools and stuff but um i just remember like in i want to say like like So almost before you would like, you know, be June or something. So right towards the end of the school year, and I think I want to say eighth grade and ninth grade, we got to go down to Wild Waves and it was just like, it was heaven on earth. It was like the cool, it was the coolest place that I could possibly imagine. And I guess I'm just kind of reading this little article now from King five. It's saying that, you know, they built it in 1977. It's been run by a company called premier parks. They, they announced the closure citing rising costs of operations since reopening after the covid19 pandemic and i wonder what that would be like there aren't covid post covid rules about social distancing or i don't i don't understand what the rising this actually seems like it would be on like what tariffs on uh on on water slide parts like i'm trying to figure out what the rising costs would be and i don't want to look no good comes from this but i was talking about This is my dad today about like Wild Waves closing. And I was like, I wonder if there's a change in like basically kind of what kids want to do for fun. And I don't want to just like I don't want to be like an old person just blaming it on blaming it on video games or the phones. But like, do you think is there a chance that it's just not as popular anymore with the youth of.

the northwest for some reason because i don't understand what would how this thing existed for all these years and then suddenly it's like we it's not profitable anymore well yeah i don't know

about the rising costs that's question that that's um makes me wonder as well but i could see less demand and let me put it this way i mentioned to you on the day on thanksgiving we joined our friends uh for a meal at a brazilian steakhouse and part of that experience is going up to a buffet to get like salad and whatever and Genevieve and I after we went up to the salad bar and sat back down one of us turned to the other I don't recall who we can she and I can fight about that later and said that is the first time I've been to like a salad bar or buffet since the pandemic like it just changed behavior and I do wonder if maybe it's technology like maybe it's a lot of different factors but I could see just people getting out of that you know families that were maybe more in that habit, just without even kind of realizing it, just being like, that experience isn't what hits these days, you know, without necessarily consciously linking it back to that.

Right. If we're all just kind of changing our kind of patterns and our roots and our things that we do, it did, and I mean, I'm not happy that Wild Waves is closing. In fact, I'm very sad about it, to be honest with you. but uh i i guess i do appreciate that it means that the statute of limitations will have expired on this story which was what all the hawk squad wanted to talk about today was the time i would say 10 to 15 of us snuck into wild waves i don't know 15 years ago we went there was some wild waves promotion this is when all the when i say the kids i mean like addy and sam and dave were like they probably maybe 15 or something teens and it was like ten dollar day at wild waves or something and we went down there because it was ten dollar day the line was like around the parking lot like a ridiculous insane line to get in and we're in the line we're waiting and uh there was this break in the fence you know in the security perimeter where there was someone that was guarding it and then like out of a movie like out of the movie sneakers the guard like leaves their post i don't know to go use the bathroom or something and addie is just so eagle-eyed on this stuff she's just like the guard just left their post and we're like yeah i don't know she goes i'm gonna i'm gonna investigate and then she just like walks off and then the next thing you know she's coming back to now the guard is back she's coming back to the guard or maybe how it went down was somebody else went with her maybe David went with her there was like a break off team that went through went inside and then when the guard came back they came to the guard and said can we get a hand stamp so we can leave the park and the guard said sure hand stamp them they came over to us gave us the hand stamp then we who now had been hand stamped it was like gremlins we were multiplying then we went in as a group of like six and then all those people then got re-hand stamped or something and then came back out and then eventually we got like 10 people snuck into wild waves and did not have to wait in that line and that is if we had a family crest it would be us sneaking into wild waves as a family i did not realize that there were so many

non-water related oh dude enchanted village uh and roller coasters and stuff and i i'm gonna say something here and i don't this is the wrong thing to raise up on this of all days but i will say this i i was i sent you that press release and i think i said like i don't remember how how big of a deal this was in your youth and so it sounds like it was a big deal in fact didn't you have some sort of sexual awakening or something at wild ways am i putting no i did win a spuds mckenzie dog yeah you could call that a sexual awakening that's exactly what i was talking about well no you know i thought you had a crush on somebody that you know you had good memory good memory

that is true i wouldn't call it an awakening i was wide awake long before this my friend is that what woke means no i yeah no andrew you're not wrong i want to i want to i want to i want to be clear i remember being in the wave pool and uh you know it was a chance i was this definitely would have been eighth grade it was a chance to be in the wave pool with uh you know fellow classmates particularly girl classmates and they would be in bathing suits and it was all Nothing happened. That's why I initially said, like, I was confused. I didn't, like, make out with someone or ever make physical contact in any way with anybody. But it was, like, a big deal. I'm crushing and I'm getting to see multiple people I have crushes on in two-piece bikinis in the wave pool, which was a big deal in my mind. Right, right.

Well, all I was going to say, though, and again, and sorry if I took that to Creeptown, but it's where I live. My only exposure at all to wild waves, wrong word coming out of that conversation, is seeing it from the highway, driving south, you know, and it never looked appealing to me. Now, I've only seen it as an adult.

but and listen you're just in a hurry to get to fife i'm just gateway to fife i and i am just

i'm trying to get to the to the seahawks training facility somewhere yeah um no but i i just it always looked kind of and this is a wrong thing to say and again i'm not trying to um i don't know sully your childhood memories and it sounds like good i'm glad they're they're uh unassailable but it just always looks sad to me from the highway and so that's why i wasn't really sure and unfortunately i see that somebody that somebody on youtube i was just looking at pictures i'm like well maybe it's because i've only seen this unfortunate view of it and one of the things i see is coaster studios these people who go around and rate parks have some unfortunately sad titles for their experience at wild waves it does not sound like maybe compared to other parks around the country this one is not sure held in high esteem well let me stand up for

enchanted village a little bit which is the rides portion of wild waves it was never pitched as at least in our understanding it was not even it wasn't even supposed to be competing with like fun forest which was at the seattle center which had some slightly bigger roller coasters it was like it was real kiddie rides you know so like we wouldn't even go over to enchanted village when we were there we wouldn't go over to the ride section because it was mostly just like kind of yeah rides for little kids so um so i'm not surprised that people that are like really into roller coasters and rides if they went there i think they would have been sorely disappointed but i'm totally with you by the way the i think a couple things one you have to be an eighth grader who's living for the chance to see tiffany mcmacken in a two-piece bikini or a littler kid than that and you have to be in wild waves to truly understand how exciting it was seeing the sign from i5 as you again as the traffic is beginning to build yeah in the fife curves is just like there's just nothing at all and by the way this is driving south you see like the

back side of the tubes you're seeing the angle yes that you're not supposed to see when you're in the park i'm sure that everything it's like me when i look in the mirror and i don't realize how bald i am because i'm only looking at myself the same way every day right and then when the and then when the the barber holds the mirror to the back of my head and he says is this okay and i and i just cry no um but it's like you're like oh yeah yeah that's that's what i look like people are seeing me from all different angles and i sort of feel like that is probably much nicer when you're inside because everything is cleaned and presented for the people inside not for the people who are in traffic on the highway so you're just seeing the back side of these colorful tubes that have probably just like are and you're also just thinking about highway traffic and exhaust and everything it doesn't seem and you're not a kid and you're not a child exactly

because as a kid when you're in there by the way i don't even think the inside of that place is probably that great but as a kid that smell of chlorine like you'd get in there and you'd be like you'd be trying to figure out like you'd have to get a locker to put your stuff in or whatever but just like it just smelled of chlorine every which i've learned now is usually tells you that the chlorine is interacting with urine like when you when you smell chlorine at a pool this is what i've heard now it's not the greatest sign i mean you know you're not unsafe or anything but it's like ideally you would smell no chlorine and that would mean no one's been urinating in the pool When you smell the chlorine, it's the result of the chlorine doing what it's supposed to do when it encounters a foreign substance.

Is that fact-checked, or is that something that you've heard?

I've heard about enough about chlorine to say that company.

I'm just sort of curious, because we would chlorinate our pool and stuff at home, and I sort of feel like, well, chlorine always smells like chlorine, but maybe when it's activated, it smells stronger. I'm not saying that you're wrong. I would just want to fact-check that before passing it along.

So here's what AI says. I don't know if we trust it or not. The search terms are, what does the smell of chlorine indicate? And it says, a chlorine smell indicates disinfection is happening. In tap water, it means chlorine is killing germs for safety. But a strong pool smell often signals chloramines, a reaction between chlorine and organic matter, like sweat, urine, and dirt. Meaning the pool needs better cleaning and ventilation. While in very rare cases, strong ozone chlorine scent could be a dangerous sign of electrical arcing.

But who knows? Can I actually – I tell you who – I tell you who knows, our friends at NPR, because I started typing in, does chlorine smell? And then it auto-completed to stronger with urine? So I'm like, okay, other people have looked this up. And then you do have the AI overview, but I wanted to go a little bit deeper. So the first result, though, is literally an NPR article from 2017. And the headline, I like the directness of this, just how much pee is in that pool? And then it says, you know that sharp odor of chlorine from the swimming pool you can recall from earliest childhood? It turns out it's not just chlorine, but a potent brew of chemicals that form when chlorine meets sweat, body oils, and urine. So you're absolutely right.

A lot of people are sweating in that wave pool at Wild. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I just wanted to make sure, because it's just, you would hear all these rumors as kids, like, oh, don't pee in that pool. They have this special chemical that turns purple around you, and I was like, I've never seen that. Again, I don't spend a lot of time around pools, but I've always heard of that, but I've never seen it, so I just wanted to make sure.

Right, that's like one of those apocryphal things that, like, dads tell the kids that are coming over, the visiting kids, so that, you know, it's just supposed to hold. I think there's a scene in one of the grown-ups movies One of the I would call the lesser Sandler Not the prestige Sandler Where I think that the joke is This is a show where I Give my best guess at what happens in the movie Sneakers and now my best guess at what happens In one of the grown-ups movies I think it's like The joke is that they're told that the pool Has some kind of, and these are adults This is like Adam Sandler and David Spade and whomever else Maybe Kevin James is in there I'll take it, Kevin James. Sure. They're in the pool, and they're being told that it has the kind of special chemical that if you pee, it will show. And then they're all saying, that's not a real thing. So they're all peeing, and then it turns out it is a real thing.

Uh-huh. That sounds like something that would be in the movie.

How the comedy works.

Yeah, yeah. The only part of those movies I've ever seen is they're standing on a bluff, like in a quarry or something, and they've got to jump. They also, I believe, are impressed with people in two-piece bathing suits or something. And in order to, I guess, impress them—you've never seen these movies, right? I've never seen these movies.

I haven't. I've seen this clip. Oh, I think Chris Rock is in it, too, actually. Yeah, that rings a bell.

I think he's on the top of the cliff as well that I'm picturing. They have to jump into this quarry or something along those lines.

Anyway, R.I.P. Wild Waves. And I'll tell you, if, you know, if Adelaide gets a wild hair this summer and wants to hit wild waves, like we meet up or, you know, and head down there, I would actually totally – I would be down for that, just for the nostalgia. I don't even know if I'd go in the water.

I know you wouldn't. You told me a long time ago, because I think about this. I remember you said on the show a long time ago that, like, you don't think you're ever going in any kind of a public pool again, unless it's, like, maybe really well-

Well, I would go in a hotel. At a hotel in Palm Springs.

Like a fancy – yeah, a place that you trust.

yeah like a nice like a nice mostly grown-ups although listen i don't trust the grown-ups to not pee in the pool either but like a a mostly grown-up kind of a thing i would i would do but um but like yeah probably like i don't i don't think i'd want to go chill in the wave pool at wild ways but i do kind of weirdly feel like i would just like to i don't know eat some um you know eat some chicken strips and some and some fries and smell the chlorine which now we know is sinister and just kind of experience it because it really was and it wasn't even that i went to wild waves i probably went there five times but it was such it just represented something in my mind of just the ultimate cool fun thing so it'll seem small to you if you do that i think i bet oh i'm and crummy you know what i mean like i like i'm sure it will just be like oh wow this is what it was all about maybe i shouldn't go maybe i should let it honestly like i don't want to tell

you what to do but i do think especially for the final i'm sure that they'll try to you know make everybody happy for the final year but you know that they haven't been making a lot of like improvements leading up to this year when they're finally folding, you know what I mean? It's probably, you might want to keep those memories as they are in your head, you know?

Should we wrap things up today the way we usually like to, which is playing a clip from the movie Grown Ups Peeing in the Pool, 2010 Let's just hear how this scene plays out Dad! Come on! Hurry up! I want to go to Pirates Plunge! Oh, they're literally at a water park, so this is relevant. It's Kevin James He's in the pool, but he's like in the kiddie pool so it's like very shallow he's got a swim cap on and he's got like a kind of a wetsuit on too he's wearing more gear andrew than you would typically see an adult wearing in the kiddie pool at a wave that's pretty funny yeah right

are you making a sissy

or not you know they put a chemical in the pool that turns here in blue

No, no, no. It's an old wives' tale, sweetie. It's an old wives' tale.

Oh, my God! You're humiliating me! It turns out it's not a wives' tale, Andrew, and Kevin James is absolutely surrounded by blue dye as he is letting fly.

That is embarrassing. The reason I don't believe in that at a water park is because that creates so much more issues for the water park.

Oh, yeah. No, that's like a hotel that gives you a blacklight as you're checking into your room. We need those sleeping dogs to lie.

What did she say? Are you taking a what?

A sissy. That's what I thought.

I've never heard that before.

I'm guessing that that's in the movie. That's what they call it. In Kevin James' family, maybe that's what they call it.

Interesting. Well, I know we don't have time today, but I want to put this out in the universe. We have a wonderful email that tells an absolutely gripping story. I'm sorry, not email, but a voicemail, Luke. It's like an email, but it's like...

talk. It's hard to explain. A spoken word email. It's like a spoken word email, basically. It's like a narrated email. Anyway, from somebody who sent it in earlier this week, and it took me a long time to finally kind of take a listen to it yesterday. And Luke, I know I said this earlier in the show, I was on the edge of my seat as I listened to this story. So let's try to remember that for Monday.

Yeah, big Monday show coming at you. Exactly. That's why you're going to have some stories. The post-family hang. We'll know. Bye. Boy, I almost sent you guys this headline today from the Seattle Times. Colt Tate Calkins was really on one today. I believe the headline in the sports section, can I find it here? Colt's 44-year-old QB may be another gift for the Seahawks defense. Oh, wow. How'd you come up with that one? Do you think so, Matt? Do you think a person who's probably, it shouldn't be legal for them to try to play tackle football, you think that might be a gift to the Seattle defense?

I need to tell you something here, but the music's playing so i gotta keep it short um so i know nobody cares about other people's fantasy football teams but if you'll recall and i don't know why you would but when i drafted drafted my football team earlier this year lad mcconkey mcconkey business is the name of my team um i did not realize until literally two minutes maybe before the draft that i was the first overall pick which is something that i should have done more research on and really dialed in my team uh But after the draft, the AI robot thing basically made fun of me for how bad I drafted. And I was like, we'll see. I usually do pretty damn well in this league, actually. And immediately in week one, my QB got injured. And I have been bitten, Luke, with the worst luck. I mean, I swear. I mean, every bad break you could imagine. I am now, last week, I was second to last. And I was playing the person in last place. and I went into Monday Night Football, 75% chance of winning because I was already in the lead and I had Lad McConkie playing. All they had was a kicker. Lad McConkie got two points. Their kicker got 18. A kicker getting 18 points is ludicrous. My point of all of this is, so I end up losing that game.

I thought of you on that game because I remember seeing, I was muted, but I saw them showing Lad McConkie And they were showing him to point out how he was doing nothing in the game.

He was doing nothing. And so I turned off the game at a certain point. I was like, wow, this is bananas. But the whole season has been like that. Like, I'm slated to win, but then something bananas happens. And just every, every, every bad beat I could get, I've gotten. Listen, it's fine. I've won this league almost every other year in some capacity. It's just weird. But then last night, I'm like, you know what? This might be my last week of playing fantasy football before they get into the playoffs, which I'll have no part in, obviously, in last place. So you know what I did last night, Luke? Thinking of you. Oh, man. Yeah. I pulled Phillip Rivers off the wire. Love it. I might start that guy. I might bench my Joe Burrow, who's scheduled to get 22 points, and just play Phillip Rivers, who is estimated to get four points. A quarterback being estimated to get four points is ridiculously low. But I'm not playing for anything. As soon as the little red check mark goes away and they confirm that he's playing, I might just play Phillip Rivers just so that I can have a laugh at the end of the season.

That's a really good idea. I might try to get on one of those daily sports. Well, you know, I can't sports bet from here in Washington, but I can get on those futures markets probably, you know, that polymath and stuff.

or the daily fantasy I think you can maybe do or something like that.

Do something where it's like a workaround. I would love to lay 20 bucks on Philip Rivers over performing whatever the expectations are. Again, I am great with Philip Rivers having the game of his life as long as the Seahawks still win. That to me would be a great outcome.

Where is the line on how many arms he will have at the end of the game? How many arms he'll have left?

I'm more worried about how many legs he'll have, as you said yesterday. Yeah. that's that's to me that's what i'm anyway we shall see anyway a lot to talk about on monday plus we'll have that voicemail so please do join us for that in the meantime have a great weekend everybody uh take care of yourselves stay safe go seahawks and please remember no mountain too tall

and good luck to all

power out