Muse

Some people say global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese but I say show me the receipts because why would Xi Jinping want to flood my basement and rust my bowflex to what end to what end TBTN

You're like that kid on the playground you know the one who has lice that none of the other kids want to play with What do you mean? I mean we gotta shave your head and get you back on the monkey bars right i've studied the human mind i've learned how to read it and ultimately control it listen

to me while i will admit to a certain cynicism the fact is that i'm a naysayer and hatchet man in a fight against violence i pride myself in taking a punch and i'll gladly take another because i choose to live my life in the company of gandhi and king my concerns are global remember

this is not a competition although you two seem to be the best in the class guilty as charged

I was in a friend of mine's car. It's a Chrysler that talks to you, and it says, the door is ajar.

Okay, I'll go ahead and make that change. Great, I've made the change. Your wife's new legal name is Targis, Targis. Is this okay?

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. one thing we're actually good at even compared to other animals podcasting podcasting my name is luke burbank i am your host voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus coming to you from the madrona hill studio first high above the mighty uh columbia where it's actually a beautiful day kind of it's warm uh and it is so foggy we've got the fog i was awoken in the middle of the night by the uh the boats on the mighty columbia using their fog horns and in fact if you listen carefully later you may even hear it because it's just going on constantly as we are just it's like scooby-doo fog if you're old enough to remember that it's the kind of fog that you could like scooby-doo cut into a circle and then fold into a sandwich and then take a bite most of what i know about fog is derived from the scooby-doo cartoon of my youth um so um we're just gonna have to um hope that they were accurate with that stuff because it's where i get my knowledge from Here we are, folks, at episode 4640 in a collector's series. There's my bell. We have lots to talk about on the program today. Our pal Andrew Welsh is still down in Las Vegas, Nevada. We'll get a full report tomorrow on how his trip went. In the meantime, I'm also going to be traveling tomorrow. I'm going to be heading to Chicago, where I'll be doing the show from. And there will be, of course, some sky jinx on the way there. I did something involving my ticket to Chicago that I have never – I don't think I've ever done this before, actually. Also, there is a lot of controversy around children riding their luggage because it's also a scooter in the airport. Kids and fantasy. This is a real – this is tearing the travelers of America apart. So we will try to get into that. Also, we'll talk some sports today on the show. Of course, big Seahawks game coming up this weekend.

I mean, I figured he had to be in sport, but he wasn't in sport.

What I want to talk about, though, is what is going on with the San Francisco 49ers and their illicit supply of smelling salts.

I thought they smelled bad on the outside.

And I also need the football player George Kittle to stop doing things that make me kind of love him because he plays for the opposing team. So we will talk about all of that with this guy who knows a thing or two about football, Not just because he's wearing a handsome corduroy Seahawks hat there at the studios of Cairo Radio in Seattle. He is my real-life actual brother, David, from the basement. Hello. Welcome to the show, Dave.

Good morning. Thank you for having me.

Thank you. You've been up for how many hours now?

Oh, just a clean 10 hours, probably.

10 hours.

And that was about an hour of rest because I did work at the old restaurant last night.

Oh, David.

Run it on fumes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

And yet you volunteered to come help out on the show today because Andrew is gone. What a mensch. What a guy. So between Lago, Cafe Lago, your other job, because producing morning radio in Seattle pays too well. You did your restaurant job, and then you went home, and you slept for about an hour. As your beautiful daughter turned exactly one year of age.

That's right. At 2.06 a.m.

Okay. Were you awake at 2.06 a.m. Or were you still catching your last few winks? No, no.

I mean, I was on the way to the radio station.

You're already out of the house at 2.06 a.m.

Oh, yeah. I'm out at like 1.30 generally. Oh, my gosh.

That's, well, that's rough, my friend. Now, did Alicia do, like, has Gemma had a breakfast?

like a birthday breakfast or anything today? What's going on back at the homestay?

I mean, it looks like quite the party, which I'm not there for yet. But yeah, Alicia's been sending me photos. She's been working all this week making party hats for all of Gemma's stuffed animals. Oh, I thought you meant for everyone

coming to the birthday party on Saturday.

Well, yes, I think they're a little small for everyone coming to the party. But she also bought a ball pit for Gemma. So I have pictures of Gemma in a ball pit. I can show you guys here over the camera, but the audience will not see it.

What is this other thing that she has that's like some kind of a weird baby couch? Oh, yeah. That's ridiculous. Will you send that to me? I will. Are we allowed to use her as a show pic today? Do you need to check in with Alicia about that?

I don't think many people see the show pic probably anyway.

Well, I mean, the baby is not on the Internet. You know what I mean? Right, yeah. All I see on the internet are pictures of this adorable baby. But what is this, like, nugget couch or something that you guys look like?

Yeah, so, well, I was unfamiliar with it up until a couple weeks ago, but apparently it's a couch that's basically, like, kind of like a modular couch where you can take all the parts apart and build forts and things. so she's not quite old enough to really get you know the all the cool aspects of it but all i know is it takes up a lot of room in our oh my gosh very small so awesome the nugget sea monster

that's the well that's one that's sold at the nugget website nugget comfort.com by the way

not a sponsor but we wouldn't turn it down i'll be totally truthful with you it is a dupe of a couch because yeah we weren't gonna pay full price but yeah but it is still pretty cool and And I'm excited for when I can build forts with her and crawl around and play night crawlers and things.

Will you do like when we were kids? Although, again, you and I grew up in such different eras of the Burbank household so many years between us.

As you like to remind me.

Well, I just mean I can't assume that you had the exact same experience I did. Did you guys do Tickle Monster? Did that exist when you were a kid? That was a very fun game when we were growing up.

Well, and I think you helped carry on the legacy because you would play it with me and Sam and Addie. Right. But dad would also play it with us.

And this, for folks that don't know, this was a game where basically my dad would be under a blanket and down on all fours in the living room. And we, the kids, would stand around in far corners of the living room and try to walk around very quietly so that the tickle monster did not reach out from under the blanket and snag you by the ankle and tickle you. And it was so fun. We have many a Friday night. We wild away many a Friday night playing that game. Anyway, you know what? I mentioned that Nugget Couches, they're not a sponsor, although if there's anybody who could maybe work that out for us, it's my colleague, John Sklaroff, who is TVTL employee numero uno. Are you sure? Okay. And he's also joining us right now. Hello, John.

Hey, Luke. I'll call the Nugget people and see what I can work out.

I also felt like I really needed to explain Tickle Monster because that's just in this day and age needs some explaining you don't hear tickle monster in a good context very much in the in 2026 did you like i mean did you you have siblings right john you got a sister two two older sisters how what was the age difference uh i'm the baby baby boy which

people that know me that that tracks for a lot of folks um were they nice to you like were they the

kind of sisters that included you in things or were they mean to you you know it depended on

what age we were so my eldest sister is five years older than me and then the one directly above me is 20 months and so like when we were she and i were young like we were doing everything together just because we were similar ages um and then obviously as we got to like middle school and high school that kind of stopped and and then as we got became adults like we got closer again but um yeah yeah we were close the three of us i think we did you guys play anything called tickle monster

as a kid is where i'm really trying to find out and were you upset when i said those words

Well, normally you're saying them to me and Andrew in a TBTV meeting. Yeah, you've asked me. And that's – You've formally asked me to stop doing that. Yeah, our standing weekly meetings, it's not allowed. But I don't think we played anything deliberately called Tickle Monster. But there was like tickling and like we were definitely like a very affectionate household in inappropriate ways. Yeah.

Yes. Okay, so David, I just want to – I don't want to jump right into football talk because I don't know how many of the listeners – Actually, I think a surprising number of the listeners do care about it, including our brother-in-law, Josh, who DM'd me yesterday and said, are we getting a no point this week or not?

Sick.

So, Josh, this is for you when we get to it. But before we get into the footballness of it later, I just want to say, you, my brother, you were playing with fire this week by scheduling your daughter's birthday at almost the exact same time as the Seattle Seahawks playoff game. I don't know how.

I don't know how you, I don't know how you knew three months ago.

Yeah. Yeah. So that is, that is the whole issue. This is actually.

Well, what time, wait, what time's the party though? We're not going to dock you.

So it's supposedly going to be from 3 PM to 6 PM.

Okay. That's plenty of time. That's good.

So yeah, that's the hope. Here's, here's the deal. This is a, this is an item of, of hot contention is my, Both our mother, our beloved mother, and Alicia's mom are huge Seahawks fans. And so I think if they had their druthers, I think if they had their druthers, we would be, we would have the game on in the back. You know, we would have the kind of pregame on in the background. We'd be talking about the game. Alicia does not play with any of that. She kind of vehemently and actively dislikes football and, like, the energy, the nervous energy that her mom has around football, that I have around football, that she saw during the Christmas holidays that our mom has around football. She doesn't want any part of any of that.

I don't blame her. I don't blame her on that because like when we had that get together at my house that was supposed to be like family Christmas and a little Seahawks in the background, it ended up becoming like a seriously intense family obsession. And I can see how she would not want after she's made all these hats. I could see how she would not want her child's first birthday party to turn into that. That's actually fair.

Hey, David. Can I ask you two questions as a non non bias person? here in this conversation around planning around this stuff uh one i think the 10s really need if luke ends up in one of these tiny hats on saturday please send me a picture that needs oh yeah that's number one absolutely number two i think i can i think what i'm picking up from luke and maybe from your own mother and your mother-in-law if you if you do have like another child say just like a year before the seahawks could potentially be in the playoffs maybe nine months before that Be considerate of planning around when you're going to have a baby. Yeah.

Aim for March. Just backtrack nine months from March. Use very timely contraception.

Yeah, I think what Luke was saying.

Like our parents did. Use family planning like our mom and dad did, which is why she gave birth to eight children.

You know, mom has dropped the bomb on me before that she was actually using birth control. I know this. And somehow I persisted. Good for you.

Oh, I know this because I would, how do I? We started with Tickle Monster, and we're going somewhere worse. Let's just say there was evidence around the home environment of the fact that our parents were not ideologically or morally opposed to birth control. Just very bad at it. Very, very. That's the thing people always ask, and you probably get this too, Davey, when you say you're from seven kids. They go like, oh, your parents must have been like Mormon or Catholic or not believed in birth control. And it's like, no, they did. They were just terrible at it. Yeah. But anyway, okay, well, this is good, though. It could have been worse because it would have been the 1 o'clock game. So what we're talking about here—

Yeah, that was the big thing was, is it going to be the 1.30 game? If it's the 1.30 game, there was going to be some tough conversations.

Yeah, but I'm actually—I'm with Alicia on this very much, so I think it's reasonable to not want the whole thing to turn into some sort of, yeah, like insane Seahawks swear fest or whatever.

Well, and the way, you know, I hope the listeners can all keep this secret. The way I'm framing it to both Alicia's family and to mom is this is not Alicia's decision. This is my decision. Ah. Because for one thing, I become. I am. Thank you. Also, I get so stressed out during these games that it is conceivable that I would just want to not have any interaction with the game at all during Gemma's party. So that's what I'm going with.

I'm kind of running with that. Now, can you see yourself checking it, like, once it's, like, seven and everybody's cleared out and it's probably halftime? Are you going to – will you watch the second half of the game?

I mean, probably. I don't know. Like, that's the – it's a delicate dance with my wonderful, beautiful, perfect wife. It's like, what do I want – if she's in the afterglow of an awesome party and she's very, you know, happy, then I might be kind of checking in on my phone.

Do you want me to share my YouTube TV password with you so that you can very low-key check it on your phone like you're in a commercial about a guy being a guy?

Bro, that's the way I watch most of these games is I've got the, you know, whatever the app. I'm not going to give them any free press. But I have the app that you can watch basically all the games on your phone for like a pretty modest price. And that is how I'm watching. I'm never watching it on a real TV.

Gotcha.

David, you should also plan to like clean as the party goes kind of.

like just stay on top of all the stuff like seriously like like you know make sure like

to do some dishes or whatever it is no because alicia listen john i've been married multiple times okay now i am the expert on ways that you can anger your partner without thinking you were going to if i think if there's a sense that david is trying to like david's like sweeping people out of the party at 5 29 like all right super great oh so great to see you he's putting everything way constantly as the party's going on someone eats a cracker and he takes the napkin out of their hand and places it in a garbage can i think that will be noted and i don't think that'll go

over very well yeah also i kind of i think the cleaning up afterwards is the perfect venue to like yes i'm just doing the dishes oh what's my phone what am i watching on my phone perched on the countertop or nothing exactly you don't need to worry about that so yeah that's kind of that's how i generally will watch my football is um is while i'm doing dishes yeah no that's actually

very smart like you kind of you're doing something that's beneficial to the home environment exactly

and then you're also watching a game yeah but yeah i do this kind of a similar thing around

here except i'm in the hot tub watching it on my ipad but then also watching it in the house while oh so you're doing just like the fun version i don't know how that's similar yeah That's the point. The point is that I'm a I'm a desk. I'm a desperately lonely person who gets to just who get who's built this weird castle that I could just do whatever the hell I want. I was that's how I was watching one of the playoff games on Saturday. I was like it was it was like it was visual hedonism at the highest order because it was like I had the game on in the house, but then it was a nice night. So I wanted to go sit in the little hot tub, but then I couldn't quite see the game or hear it. So then I had it on the iPad, but then sometimes I was bored because the teams weren't playing well. So sometimes I was looking at TikTok on my phone. It was like, I honestly was like, if a meteor strikes me right now, I will understand. Like, I shouldn't. This is a sin against nature, what's happening currently. Have you guys, when, so Gemma is turning one, as we've already established. Have you seen in the airport, David, while traveling or just about town, this whole move of the, like, luggage that kids can also ride as a scooter in some form or fashion? This is actually something you guys should talk about on your show. This is probably very relevant here.

It is interesting that you bring this up because, no, I mean, we haven't done any major airport traveling in, you know, a couple of years now. but uh i just on my phone while scrolling tiktoks or reels um i saw um chris fleming the comedian oh my god that bit that he does that's one of the obviously so many of his bits like the physicality that he he brings is hilarious but he did a bit about that and uh and yeah i saw it like yesterday and i thought it was so funny and so when i saw this on the show sheet i was like i have some tangential experience with what you're talking about i've noticed it because i i'm i

do obviously spend a lot of time in airports and i see it all the time and i have to be honest with you it freaking delights me like i just love i just love seeing a kid having fun i've now i guess you know i have the privilege of like pretty still pretty decent mobility at this age so i don't feel endangered by them but like i guess this is an article in the washington post today from andrea sacks basically talking about how this is a sort of a growing trend of of of all these by the way The names of these luggage for kids that you can also ride on are ridiculous. Trunky, Younglings, Jet Kids, Kitty Totes, Adwin. But those all sound like names that you would actually name a kid now, too, by the way. Don't name your second child Adwin, David, please. So basically you had this family that's, you know, they're a family that I guess is sort of influencers of some kind. But they've got kids and they travel a lot. And so they were showing these videos of their kids bombing through an airport on these little scooters. And this is what they wrote. They're called the Hendricks tribe. That's the name of this family. Because once upon a time, this is underneath the Instagram post of their kids scooting about in the airport. Because once upon a time, we used to stress about every stare, every noise, every burst of energy our kids brought into, quote, quiet spaces. But somewhere between security lines and delayed flights, we realized something. This is their adventure, too. Actually, as I read this, I'm becoming more angry. Actually, I'm changing my position in real time. They're not misbehaving. They're exploring. They're not too much. They're curious, growing, and full of life. Why we film instead of stopping them? Well, because you're trying to get the clicks, lady. Let's be honest. Because one day they'll be too big to scoot beside us. I don't know about that, honestly. I see a lot of people on a lot of scooters at all kinds of, particularly in Portland. Like, everywhere Becca and I go, there are people of all ages scooting around on things. And we will

miss these wild joyful airport moments more than words can say raising tiny travelers not perfect passengers i i have really you guys are getting to observe in real time me going from being like how delightful when actually i stand by my assertion i think it's pretty cute when kids are as long as they're not bashing into people or being you know super annoying as long as they're just kind of having fun generally speaking in my experience airport you know air like walkways and stuff are generally speaking wide enough i know chris fleming doesn't like it david i thought that bit was tremendous and i would play it if it wasn't so visual because it's so funny but like in my experience i think it is generally speaking a joyful thing i don't have i don't have a problem with it i do now that i've read the caption from the hendrix tribe i do not like their approach to it because it sounds like they're saying if our kids are screaming and really making your time in the airport worse that's your problem because they're tiny adventurers i don't like that idea of framing it as tiny adventurers that being said i don't have a problem i don't have a problem with

kids scooting on their luggage i i would agree i have no problem with it i i have no problem with kids doing whatever fun thing especially in an airport where it's like it's kind of a boring and crazy place but also a giant place with really smooth floors like i get it i would want to roll on the airport i think my issue is i'm tired of people um trying to like narrative eyes their whole experience right family and my host this is our yeah once upon a time we met by you know on tinder or whatever and then we had this huge family like it's just like you don't have a story

to tell i'm sorry right you're telling it as this story of like your well it's a it's actually in a way it's a thing that happens a lot online that i'm kind of not a fan of which is people and like look we're all insecure we're all kind of dealing with what we're dealing with i get it i have i do a ton of annoying things to try to make myself feel slightly better about myself but there's this move where people do a lot of like either bragging about their partner as a way of saying look how good i look how much look how good i am because i have this partner that's really awesome you know and it's not even really it's not even really about the partner it's not even it's about like find yourself if he wanted to he would this guy just worked it in fact alicia could put some of these posts up about you David and I would support it because you do work you do sleep one hour a day to support your family but you know what I mean or like talking about their kids in a way that's almost like it's it's it would be fine if it was just saying hey I really love my kid I'm proud of my kid but it's this weird humble brag about themselves by way of their kid that I always kind of get a little bit like put off by as far as the and then like you said David the like making a narrative out of it like it really what it is is like these kids these Hendrix tribe kids were running around the airport having fun whatever and probably someone gave them a look and then whichever parent wrote this post and i don't know which one did they then turn it into this story of triumph about how they just learned to let go and allow their kids to just be total

assholes right you know it's funny luke uh i think uh jess does the opposite with me on social media she's like look at look at this schlub the charity work i'm doing no no exactly like well that's you

know there's a i think that there's a balance right there's a there's somewhere in between becca's version of it is uh she will when she comes to live wire she always takes a picture of the marquee that has my name on it but then she just says like another night of live wire it's a kind of it's a very subtle i feel like i'll allow it it's like a little bit of a flex but it's not like it's not overly doing it but um but yeah there is like because i am so terminally online i have developed so many theories about the uh hyper specific ways that people talk about themselves and their lives and their families online and all the different ways that it can

be annoying to me i because i think it's really well i was just gonna say i think it's really warped all of our senses of like self and like how much people should care about what we have to say uh and you know we should all just probably be a little more quiet and present i mean i'm not

saying anything new or groundbreaking on this podcast as we all three of us talk into microphones and distribute it to up to thousands of people but yes no i know what you mean and that's why by the way when andrew and i get into this on the show it's always very fraught because it's like i'm with you like we all have main character energy now you know like we all just like um um and and yet like our job me and Andrew's job and John's job with this is like it is kind of I guess having main character energy or at least assuming that what I want to say about my most recent flight experience is on some level interesting so I kind of feel like I I both think that we all need to calm down a little bit and stop being the main characters and I also have to do it for my job at least for

now i think there are some differences though because like maybe i'm making excuses because this is how i our job how i pay my bills but like um i think the people can choose to engage with tbtl or not people in the airport can't choose to engage with somebody who good point and and i'm with you guys on like the whimsy and kids having fun in public spaces i'm all for it just like adults like as long as they're being respectful and the parents are like keeping an eye on things like that's fine like let the kids have fun just like an adult like i don't care if an adult's riding a scooter down you know but right escape yeah like whatever if you're not having that before when i'm being a cool guy but yeah but i think like a lot of the things you guys are touching on is like influencer culture number one it's like you are using this public space to prop up your brand and then specifically and i know a lot of parents personally who have issues this stuff is the family influencer where it's like you are using your children and their adorable activities or whatever as an accessory and to create content and to like and monetize it like and in 20 years is that kid gonna be thrilled that there's like videos of them scooting around the airport i don't know maybe but like they also have no say in it and so yeah it's like that kind of thing too is also kind of um i don't have kids but like i know friends that do have kids think that's kind of icky you know that kind of thing um yeah but as far as the kids having fun yeah let them have fun as long as they're not getting in the way and like you know the parents are

paying attention the thing that i really do this is my big move on an airplane if a baby is crying i'm being totally serious i will if i can get direct eye contact with the parents i will give them the biggest smile i can possibly give them like i will try to send a message psychically to them that i am so fine with their kid in this case being a kid in other words you know like famously like kids inner ears are more sensitive than adults and so when planes take off and land it hurts their ears and cause them to cry like there's no one i feel worse for than a parent who is just doing their absolute best but they just have a small child on the flight with them and the small child is having a tough time and it's like i want to like i want to go up to first class and get one of those blankets and bring it back and wrap it around the parent and the child and just go it's going to be okay and i want you to know that i am the one if i didn't want you taking any stress from thinking about how i'm feeling about this how i'm feeling about this because how i'm feeling about this is like i totally get it i used to have a small child i am not mad at you right now other people on this flight might be but i am not mad at you like because i've flown with addy when she was little and stuff and it's like i want to like if i can i want to come help take some of the burden of the stress of being a parent on an airplane when your kid is crying it takes a village luke it sure does it sure does speaking of flights by the way i um i crossed a bright line this morning that i don't know i feel bad because i feel like i'm being part of the problem this is like this is the most unrelatable content that i will present on the show and what it has to do with is i'm flying to chicago tomorrow to do wait wait i have a very early morning flight it's actually on american which i it's not my preferred carrier but they were the only ones that were flying at the right time for me and so I was I had my ticket was booked on Alaska but they were able to rebook me on American because they're all part of the same club or something and so I was going in and the thing is when I'm flying on American I don't have quite all the bells and whistles because it's not my little domain and and I saw that so I was going to be like in the way back of the plane and when I went to pick my seat they just said well do you want to be in first class for $100 more and I was like yeah like first of all i mean hundred dollars is a hundred dollars but also that's like twenty dollars per hour of flight time and like at a on a 6 a.m flight the difference between being in first class and being able to just like conk out or being in like a non-reclining back middle seat that is such a game changer now the reason this makes me mad is because this is and again this is not there's only relatable content to my friend broadcast barry who he and i probably text four times a week about alaska airlines policy but what the airlines are doing now is it's harder and harder to get upgraded to first class if you're somebody like me or barry who's like obsessively like lives in the world of this particular mileage club it used to be if they didn't sell all the seats in first class then they would start just like giving them to the

the road warriors like us based on you know who had the most miles or something but now what they're doing is they're just gonna sell that first class seat for they'll start it at like hey do you want to pay a thousand dollars to be in first class i'd be like absolutely not and then they'll be like well how about five hundred dollars no way how about two hundred dollars how about a hundred dollars i mean i get a free smoked salmon breakfast which i'm not holding my breath on by the way although i might literally need to hold my breath i was looking moist warm towelettes right do they do that in first class i've never been in first class so well here's the thing with first class it's very um it is uh i don't want to say

hit and miss but it's it there's I can't figure out the exact rules and policies I think it depends on the airline if they bring out a moist towelette I've had that occasionally if on international travel that's a biggie they're very big with that not so much on domestic but sometimes you'll be in first class and it'll be pretty much like being in coach except you have a little more leg room and then sometimes you'll be in first class and it's like the person they're bringing you out this like three course meal and it's on like nice like china and stuff and you're like what the heck but i can't ever predict when it's going to be that kind of flight or something else but all i'm saying is like i did buy i paid out of my own pocket so i'm paying money essentially to go be on wait wait don't tell me tomorrow but i just thought like i could i could just sign up i could be way in the back of the plane or i could spend a hundred dollars again which is not nothing but that will radically change my experience on the flight but it also means are you part of the problem i'm now part of the problem i'm also part of the problem with clear which andrew never lets me forget and because basically that whole clear thing is it's making the line worse for everyone else yes therefore more people are incentivized to buy clear so i'm essentially making the entire travel experience worse for everybody involved i also think it should be illegal for clear to

solicit at the airport like you're staying in line like oh like seriously it's a it's a federal you know air i mean it's a it's a government institution entity and this private company is just allowed to go in there and harangue people who are like waiting on this line i think i really

i don't like that well you're getting people potentially in an absolute moment of weakness oh yeah absolutely you know what i mean like in fact that sort of happened with me and becca this summer we were flying we're flying to england and some that was the craziest thing like we we tried to go through she had and had signed up for a trial account some years ago for clear because basically what happened was she was late for a flight some time ago maybe before we even met and that's what happened they snatched her because they were like she's looking at the real line she's like well i'm not going to get to my flight and they were like or you could sign up for a trial membership for clear and it's like it's like something out of a disney movie it's like a scroll that just keeps going it's cartoonish and you sign it and then you turn into a small worm that lives in like ursula's sea domain but so she had like signed up for it but then had tried to cancel it but then they wouldn't let her sign up for a new one a new trial one because she'd already done one and then but but i had already gone through so now we were like it was a whole debacle but i do you know i do um i do tend to avail myself of these little travel conveniences because of the amount of time that you know i'm spending in these airports and trying to spend the minimum amount of time i also heard this interesting analogy about the strategy for air travel which is if you are a person and by the way i should really be having this conversation with andrew although i know it will get absolutely zero traction with him it'll be interesting tomorrow to find out when he made genevieve show up to the airport for their trip to vegas and when they're getting to the airport to fly home because genevieve is much more wired the way that i am i think and you know andrew would get to the airport four hours early if he could and the the the sort of like um i don't know you could call it like a market efficiency or the malcolm gladwell sort of approach to it is that if you are someone there's like kind of three there's sort of three sorts of people there's a person who gets the airport like three hours in advance there's the person who gets to the airport like you know an hour in advance or 45 minutes in advance and and sometimes misses their flight so the person who gets there three hours early never misses their flight and the person who gets there 45 minutes early they sometimes miss their flight but not a lot mostly they make their flight and then there's someone who gets there like 20 minutes before the flight and they miss their flight semi-frequently and you don't want to be that person because just the time cost missing your flights and having to wait is is expensive and time consuming but you also don't want to be the three hour early person because if you're in that middle range even if you miss like one flight a year this is i guess based on the idea that you fly kind of a lot even if you miss like one flight a year you have you've saved yourself many hours over that person who's getting to the airport three hours early you know even though they're never missing their flight they're actually doing it less efficiently according to this thing that i and of course i like this because i'm the person who shows up at the airport but what is what what are you saving

like it's relative right like if you're just hanging out in a coffee shop or uh or a airport or a bar and just people watching, like I know Andrew likes to do, or yeah, on your laptop doing whatever. It's like, how is that any different than being at the hotel for another hour or two?

Yeah, no, that's actually a good point. That's a really good point. You should write them a letter. We should write a letter to wherever I saw that, the Atlantic or Vox.

I do like imagining Andrew and Genevieve at the airport really early at the Las Vegas airport after a couple of bender nights, and Andrew's just pulling Genevieve and Genevieve's Like we can have a couple extra hours.

Andrews this is no no this is how I know that I'm that I'm fundamentally changing as a person because when I was young and I would go to Las Vegas a lot with like Camaro Kev and those guys or I I used to always say like I there's absolutely nothing more depressed like there's not a more different experience of arriving at Las Vegas airport versus leaving Las Vegas airport right I think it's called Harry Reid now used to be called McCarran I'm sure they'll change it to Melania. Allegiant. Soon. Something. Yeah. But Bitcoin. Max Crosby, Max Crosby, Bitcoin airport. But like I was next to Max Crosby at some UFC events recently or when I was in Vegas doing that Dana White thing. And the guy is massive. Yeah, absolutely massive. No, but like because I used to love going to Vegas so much and I hated leaving Vegas so much that I just felt this like incredibly strong pull when I landed. an incredibly sort of deep emotional cratering when i left and when i tell you that when i am on my way to the airport in vegas i feel so relieved now i am so ready to get out of there like i guess the last time i was there was when i was doing that tv story but it's just like it is so funny how like i just think vegas is a young person's game at least because i i am like when i'm in the airport leaving las vegas i'm like i literally my thought is and i said this to becca some time ago when we were there for one of her siblings birthdays i was like i think this maybe is the last time i ever need to be in this city for the rest of my life yeah

i just don't have it in me anymore it's funny i've never been alicia and i have never been to vegas ever and we were we were in uh in tulaylip which is you know kind of the vegas of uh-huh sure uh north just for the fun of it sound area uh well we were seeing this like christmas light display But we were walking through the Tulalip Casino, and we were like, this casino thing's pretty cool. And now realizing we're hitting our gambling curiosity at kind of the exact worst time with the least amount of money and time.

Well, here's what I would say. Actually, right now is not the worst time to potentially go to Las Vegas because nobody's going. It's, like, really suffering. And so there are tons of vacancies in the hotel rooms. There's a lot of promotions going on. There's a lot of cheaper flights. Like, I mean, on the one hand, the problem for Vegas is that everything has gotten more expensive because they're not getting as much business. So when they do get business, they have to charge more for it for like the buffets and things. I mean, famously, you could get, you know, like a super cheap buffet and you could play blackjack for $2.50 at O'Shea's or whatever. A lot of that has gone away, but also they're in a very – or it's just the fact that like over the course of my life, I've donked off so much money there that like they are just I mean, the Cosmopolitan is pretty much offered to drive someone to my house, pick me up and personally chauffeur me to that hotel for however long I want to be there. They're like, I get these unhinged emails from the Cosmopolitan. Hey, Luke, would you want to come down for a week free? I will give you two hundred dollars a day of gambling money.

Like they know their ROI. It's worth it.

No, definitely. And I'm that's why I'm not going back there. But I'm just saying, like, you know, again, I'll be very curious to hear what Andrew sort of thought of Vegas, because it is on this one on the one hand, it is a completely artificial place that should not exist, like from a sort of environmental standpoint, from a moral standpoint. And I don't mean that about the morality of, you know, Sin City. I just mean, like, it's bad for people to go in there and lose a bunch of money and whatever. So on the one hand, it's this sort of awful place, but also it is very warm. They have a lot of nice swimming pools. If you do it right, it can be cheap. Like, it can be a fun, cheap vacation if you don't have a gambling problem. And if you only go to BBC Comedy Nights and other things that are reasonably priced. another day without andrew another day without the proper donor music so i figured i don't know we're gonna talk about football in a minute here why not uh go with a little uh a little bit of classic do they even use this anymore i don't think so i mean this is a mashup of in the air

tonight or something like that oh my god oh some phil collins snoop dog mashup but like is it also like chris stapleton yeah it's a country guy yeah it's chris stapleton singing in the air tonight

and isn't he is he is chris stapleton one of the ones that's actually kind of good i mean i think he's got a pretty good there's like there's no there's one of those dudes that like actually has good politics who's a country guy there's a few of them yeah i think chris

Stapleton's at least not terrible politics.

The worst.

he's not morgan wallen or whatever no morgan wallen's the you know enemy yeah but like that just like the psych not psychology but the like the decision making process for what they decide to do for these national football broadcast theme songs i've been waiting all day for sunday night which is a reworking of i hate myself for loving you by joan jett and the black hearts it's like what in the frack were you even thinking with that? And then they decide to go with Phil Collins. I mean, I love Phil Collins, and I love that song. And then Snoop is rapping over it. It's so utterly insane. But no, we are here to thank the donors who are supporting TBTL. We don't have that Nugget money yet. John, any updates, any progress on the Nugget account?

I've emailed their entire team. I haven't heard anything yet.

Okay. Thank you. Help at Nugget dot co. Money. Money. Please money. Please for us. Nugget. Well, in the meantime, the business model here is we are supported by fine folks who donate to the program, including my own brother, David. Thank you. But today we're thanking Eric Hosempa of Longmont, Colorado. What up, Eric? I was in Longmont, Colorado. Not that Longmont ago. It's lovely out there. We also want to thank David Yonk, who's in Golden Valley, Minnesota. How far is Golden Valley, Minnesota from where you are, John? Do you know?

Super close. It's like 15, 20 minutes. It's a first tier, first ring suburb of the Twin Cities, right outside of Minneapolis, right next to Minneapolis.

Nice. Yeah. Thank you, David. Thanks to Andrea Dennison, who's in Lake Forest, Illinois. But we've got a strong kind of Midwest contingent going on. Colorado, Minnesota, Illinois.

Wait, you call Colorado the Midwest?

I don't know. Is it the Mountain West? Yeah, that's the Mountain West. I have an overly expansive definition. I was going to say. I'm a coastal elite. I'm the walking version, a walking version of that New Yorker cartoon, which basically shows like Manhattan and then kind of nothing. And then I think the beach in Los Angeles.

Yes, it has Chicago as a dot in the middle and that's it. Yeah.

Thank you, Andrea or Andrea. Thanks to Steven Kitschpanich, who's in Tacoma, Washington. beautiful Tacoma Washington Stephen thank you so much for supporting the show Catherine Dennett is in St. Louis Missouri that's Midwest right we can agree would you say St. Louis is the Midwest

or Missouri is the Midwest yeah I think that is okay so uh speaking of this from somebody who lives in the upper Midwest there is some contention if you're like asking a true miss so in Wisconsin Michigan night Illinois person maybe not I think it is I know um well the problem

is it's not the south though no well i mean i think there are parts of missouri that you would definitely feel pretty pretty southern in hanging out in there depending but like i mean part of the problem too is the definition of the midwest probably has changed it changed a few times over the course of the expansion of this country right so there was a period of time where missouri was the east right i guess and then was the midwest and now is maybe not you know the midwest because

i don't know what's to really classify it as so i think it has to be midwest midwest i just think it's it's it's more culturally aligned to like i don't want to say like the deep south but more

so you think of midwestern this is also being a kind of a bit of a political affiliation or just a mentality yeah i think i mean culturally it's like like it involves a lot more hot dish than

they maybe do in st louis yeah like what what peoples settled in these places and migrated to these places over the years and and i i don't actually know a ton about what missouri's is specifically but i don't again i would count this midwest but i think a lot of people up around where

i am there from here would not what i know about missouri is that andrew and i were in springfield and we did that trip down the mississippi and ended up in uh in mississippi at jamie's house and i think i brought this up on the show the other day but what we were struck by was in springfield missouri which i'll mention is couldn't be more landlocked i don't know if there's a more landlocked part of america uh love the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet and it was an it was it was an interesting place to find five to six seafood buffets within walking distance of our hotel like it didn't feel to me like the place that i would go to for that but people seem to be enjoying it and i you know i guess we have we have refrigerated shipping for that so there you go and then we want to thank maddie palmer who's in salt lake city utah this is the either either this is the second palmer this in the last few days that we have thanked

yes they're on the program there is a uh to borrow a family term we a tribe of palmers out there i think that

Nice. Well, I know. I saw that Tribe of Palmers. I waved to them at the Wait Wait show when we were in Salt Lake City. But I didn't realize that we had multiple Palmers all supporting the show on their own and independently. They're not just sending in one family donation. They're all helping out. And boy, do I ever appreciate that.

That is the TBTL business model. Just get the kids like, David, is Gemma of donating age yet?

Not quite. We'll see how she does in Vegas next summer. yeah i may start putting those funds towards or maybe maybe uncle luke will just get her a

i'll donate to tbtl in her name yeah can you imagine how bummed like oh happy birthday to me great guys donating a coupon yeah it's like george costanza handing out donations to the

human fund as christmas gifts exactly donate to your own podcast for my birthday thanks

Yeah, I know. Like, imagine the disappointment on her face. Is she talking yet, David? What is she saying?

She's babbling quite a bit. She's not, you know, she says mama. She says baba. She's not saying dada yet. Much to my chagrin. We'll get on that. We're getting there. We're trying.

Well, listen, thank you to all of our donors for making TBTL possible. We absolutely could not do this without you. That's for sure. Yeah. this is also a special request to our brother-in-law josh and let's be honest all sports loving people uh who tune into the show i'm not playing i'm not playing this is seahawks fixed base that's the seahawks fixed base rap song k dude is what this is called you know you rock when you roll with

the seahawks marshawn lynch beast mo with his dreadlocks rolls and passes the ball to the end zone touchdown you know we're gonna get the crown of Super Bowl 24 team we get the main the bling listen to the crowd sing Seahawks Seahawks Seahawks we block that offense to say we lose is such an offense and nonsense we got the best defense being the other quarterback comes with the expense of the act of being sacked to hope the Broncos have enough time to react to the level of game the Hawks are bringing that evening a Super Bowl Sunday cuz they're gonna go all the way for the win starting when the game begins all the way to the end of the game and to go down in fame as the Super Bowl champions of this year this team should be feared you better saddle up when you roll with Seattle Broncos I mentioned to Andrew when we

played this last week that there is the chance that the Seahawks could play the Broncos in the Super Bowl which would make this song as relevant today as it was when K-Dude and Little Hoagie wrote it he didn't seem that impressed with it and I also realized something this is not the song that our brother-in-law Josh requested he mentioned that he all he can hear in his head is the San Francisco is Booty Cheeks song. You know that one, right, David?

Is that, I feel like, did Durs send that one at some point?

Well, I guess you wouldn't know, but... It's so good. Well, it's actually, it's F the 49ers, okay? I'm sorry, there's gonna be... Oh, yeah. There's gonna be a swear.

Oh, there's some Jimmy Neutron line, I feel like, in this. Sorry, this is... Yeah, fuck the 49ers. Yeah, fuck the 49ers.

Sorry about the swears. Sorry, ass team. Fuck the 49ers. Sorry. I hate the 49ers. I hate y'all. I hate the 49ers. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Y'all some booty champs. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Y'all lost to the champs. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Y'all some booty champs. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Super Bowl losing streak. Yeah.

That was, there you go, Josh. That's pretty fire. We just lost a lot of, we just lost a lot of listeners under the age of 10, or at least their parents have stopped donating. But okay, let's talk a little bit about this. The Seahawks are playing the 49ers on Saturday. And and they I would what I find deeply upsetting about it is that is that everywhere I look, the pundits are saying that the Seahawks are basically the favorite to advance to the Super Bowl. And I do not like that. That is a bad feeling for me. I don't know why I think that actually impacts things, because here's what I'm trying to say. On paper, the Seahawks, they won more games than any other team in the NFC. They're playing at home for the next two games. Their defense is really, really good. Their offense is pretty effective. Like, they actually probably, on paper, should be the most likely team to go to the Super Bowl, but I'm deeply uncomfortable with that being the narrative.

I keep having to kind of talk myself down in terms of like trying to put things in perspective, trying to think back on in 2013 and 2014 during those Super Bowl years, kind of thinking back on like, well, that's right. The Seahawks didn't blow teams out all the time. They won close games. They fell.

you know, behind to bad teams and then came back and barely won games. Russell Wilson wasn't always amazing every single game. He would, you know, throw turnovers and stuff. So, like, I'm trying to keep it in context. And also, and to add to that, I think most of the pundits back then were also saying the Seahawks were going to at least advance to the Super Bowl.

Well, I mean, yeah, the status.

And so, you know, who's to say that it's not the same this time around?

Well, yeah, the three times that the Seahawks have been the number one seed in the NFC, they've gone to the Super Bowl. And so it's and I mean, I'll turn to the wisdom of Tom Brady. He said the other day he was like because somebody was asking him, like, do you want to have like if you're playing pretty well, like if you've been winning games as a Seahawks were, do you want to take a week off for a bye? And he's like, yeah, of course you do, because you're not not playing football. you don't all just go to Hawaii for a week and drink Mai Tais like you spend that entire week practicing and scheming and like getting ready for the game and like for instance you know the Niners they're not going to have George Kittle anymore because of the fact that they had to play a game so like you are you know you're endangering your team with every game that you play and not having to play a game I think is I still think is a is a net benefit I did I will say that George Kittle he's a tight end for the 49ers people that don't know from football he's from iowa or at least he played at iowa and i have to say he is one of the most likable dudes in football like there was something that happened where the seahawks when the seahawks beat the niners i think just the most recent game that they played by the way that's another weird quirk i want to say this is maybe the second or third time in nfl history that a team has played another team two games in a row that never happens unless there's a weird playoff quirk like this well and

also weird that the Seahawks are playing the Niners two games in a row but the Niners are not playing the Seahawks two games oh right good point it's also kind of an extra bizarre fold to it but

basically after the Seahawks won against the Niners they were super celebratory and somebody asked George Kittle about it and then we could tell in the postgame you could tell it was like they were trying to bait him into saying something and I forget his exact answer but it was basically like yeah that's what I would be doing I would be celebrating like they're probably super stoked They won a game that was hard And like he's just so He's the opposite of this guy Jawan Jennings Who's just like constantly Like if you want to talk about some locker room material This guy that's a receiver for the Niners named Jawan Jennings He's always getting into it with other players constantly And when they asked him about You know playing the Seahawks He was like banging the lectern going like I can't wait I can't wait It's like put that video on a loop at the VMAC please But anyway George Kittle is so not that As far as I can tell I don't know anything about his politics I don't know anything about whatever, but, like, he just seems to be kind of a big chill Marmaduke, and, like, he's just pretty psyched, and he had this terrible injury in the Niners game against the Eagles. He tore his ACL, and it was just, like, you know, that's, in football terms, I mean, that's an entire year off of just aggressively rehabbing, and you may never be the same again. Like, it really is, like, pretty much the most, one of the most catastrophic injuries you can suffer. and he maintained his equanimity apparently people talked about the other players said that when they came in the locker room at halftime he was telling them look it'll be fine you know I'll be back at it at some point go out there win the game the other thing is the owner of the San Francisco 49ers went down Jed York went down to the locker room at halftime and asked if he could do anything for George Kittle and George Kittle said could you get me a bottle of tequila and apparently the bottle of tequila was empty by the by the end of the game and by the now it's unclear if George Kittle personally consumed all of it or maybe he passed it around after the game but the Casamigos no it wasn't it was Patron I think the Patron tequila was apparently consumed um and I again you know that's I just for some reason I just love this George Kittle guy like I feel like that would also maybe be my response was like my season's over I've got a year of of rehabilitation in front of me and again real questions as to like if i'll ever be the same player can you get me a bottle of patrone out of the luxury box please mr jed york which is like exactly like literally went somebody went to the luxury box got a bottle of tequila and brought it to george kittle

i think uh you guys can uh protest salary cap circumvention like i don't know if the owner's allowed to hand gifts to players i think the 49ers are cheating it should be disqualified it's a real

steve balmer move right just disqualify the team yeah exactly well that's the thing i mean the Niners are like this is where I feel like on the one hand sort of some sense of confidence about the game but also like I get I just am so in my head about it about these weird like counter narratives that I make up in my head and so these are this is the reason that I feel somewhat confident is because the Niners continue to lose players like they lost this guy Nick Bosa which by the couldn't happen to a nicer guy super maga dude then they lose Fred Warner who's like it's incredible defensive player they haven't had Brandon Ayuk all season they had Ricky Pearsall was out against us now George Kittle is down like it just keeps being this thing where it's like you can't lose every single Brock Purdy was out for weeks like that's their quarterback they lost everyone at one point and now it's like Kittle is like gone gone and that should on paper mean that the Seahawks chances are getting better and better but it's like I don't know I really hate the idea of the narrative being like can you believe the 49ers beat the Seahawks when they were starting the water boy they were literally starting an

Adam Sandler-esque character like you know what I mean I worry less about that weird okay narrative thing like reverse jinx with right with football games because it felt like that was kind of it felt like a lot of the odds were against the seahawks going into the final game of the season they're going down to santa clara the 49ers are just coming off this massive offensive explosion brock purdy looked just like otherworldly scores six touchdowns or whatever like they were they were the beloved team for that week and then yeah it's all on the line they can win despite all their injuries they can still win the division and get the one seed by just beating the seahawks taking

care and they never have to leave san francisco again right that whole narrative and then it's

like seahawks come in and the san francisco offense which is supposed to be their strong suit yeah gets three yards or sorry three points and like 100 yards or something crazy like that so you know i'm not i'm not really worried about this defense getting caught up in a trap game or anything like that because it seems like you know aside from the rams game which was obviously just a offensive explosion on kind of both sides and then that buccaneers game back yeah you know for me that was back during mariners season still um besides those two games and i think in the buccaneers game there were a bunch of defenders who were out uh injured and stuff the seahawks defense has not disappointed like they are they do not miss tackles generally speaking they they're not going to get fooled by you know mike shanahan's clever offense or kyle shanahan's clever offense like i think whatever happens in this game i don't think it's going to be like the 49ers come out swinging and just like put up a bunch of points they might and i think it will be our offense shooting ourselves in the foot which could very well happen as long as sam

darnold continues to just game manage you know and not and not try to do too much it's not the most fun like you know russell wilson moon ball by the way all i get on tiktok it's so crazy how those algorithms work and how just they have me dialed and all i'm getting on tiktok this week is just greatest moments in seahawk recent seahawk history so just kind of like it's just a ton of like you know when the Seahawks came back against the Packers in the NFC championship game or like beast the beast quake run or like just keeps showing me these like moments from five it's also weird by the way that the Seahawks have not played a home playoff game in front of a crowd in like a lot of years because they played a home game in the playoffs when there was no crowd because of COVID which I mean that's the thing with COVID is it's like you it was it was so incredibly impactful to all of our lives and some more than others and and then because i'm somebody who's lucky enough to not suffer like lingering health effects from anything like that like i had covid a few times but like i just forget about it for long stretches and then you hear about like you are reminded of the seahawks playing a full-on playoff game at whatever it was called then central link field in front of no people and you're like oh yeah we were doing that we were paying people were paying money to put up printed out versions of themselves in the stands at baseball games like what a crazy ass time that was but um yeah I also think I I don't want to over uh index for the 12s but I think that that field is going to be unreal that stadium I think it is going to be like it is going to be like the rivets are going to be coming out of the like metal work in the stadium because it is going to be shaking with people like the fact that we're good again the fact that we have a defense that good that is good which is really hypes the crowd because you can scream on defense like i think that place is going to be like a shockingly loud

to play and i do think that does help us obviously yeah and i think this whole like in past years there's been a narrative that like oh century link or now lumen isn't the same kind of home field advantage as it used to be uh you know you can oppose

fans can come and take over you know the Seahawks field and and make their voices heard that's not gonna happen on a prime time playoff game like it's gonna be yeah this is gonna be like you said we haven't had a home playoff game with you know a full crowd in almost 10 years and a really good

team like a team that you can get pretty hyped about and again it's like like I could see a world in which you know the the the Seahawks you know win the the toss and elect to kick and like the first drive for the Niners just kind of doesn't really go anywhere and like I mean you see like Nick Imanwari shooting through the gap to tackle Christian McCaffrey behind the line on like second and eight and just the place coming completely unhinged you know it could be a pretty It could be a pretty hostile environment. Now, Kyle Shanahan, the coach of the Niners, is, I think, going to maintain his focus through smelling salts because they keep catching him on the sideline just frigging doing fat lines of smelling salt. That's not really how that works. But, like, so smelling salts, are you guys familiar with the concept of smelling salts?

Yes.

Have you ever smelled them?

No. I don't think so.

They're wild. Absolutely wild. It's like poppers. I mean, I've never smelled a popper or done a popper, but I have, but I, for some reason, I think when I was a kid, I think we had a first aid kit or some, there was a first aid kit or some at someone's house. And in the first aid kit was smelling salts, which is basically, it's supposed to bring someone to, or something. Yes, it's an ammonia inhalant, but it is, so it's this little capsule, you break it open and it releases this like ammonia that is like, it is a sense memory that I have not lost in the 45 years plus since I did it because that's how intense it is. Like, I remember as a kid breaking this little thing and taking a smell and thinking that, like, my head was going to fly off. Like, it's the most insane thing ever. And the NFL has actually banned it on the sidelines because part of it, I think, well, one of the things is this is what the NFL said. They sent out a memo banning the substance on the, let's see, they said basically that there was no, let's see, According to the FDA, the manufacturer of ammonia inhalants have not demonstrated these products to be safe or effective for their intended uses. I mean, it's basically like putting a chemical spill in your nose so that you will wake up and lock in. But it's obvious. So here's the thing, though. You're not banned from having them, but the NFL no longer like the team is not allowed to provide them or something. So it's like it's like the way that the rules were with like cannabis for a long time. Like it was it was illegal to sell it, but it like wasn't illegal to have it. So like if you just magically possessed it, like you weren't in trouble. But if you were buying it, you were in trouble. So there's some weird rules around it. So it's not purely illegal, but they caught Kyle Shanahan just doing four full on sniffs on the sideline of this of these smelling salts. And apparently this is very big for the San Francisco 49ers. Everyone on the team is really big on smelling salts, including George Kittle. I guess he doesn't need them now.

Maybe that's why they're getting injured because they're, like, putting all their senses to their maximum.

They're high off of their gourds. Well, this is the thing I couldn't believe. In this article, by the way, this is San Francisco Gate, Alex Simon, writing in the San Francisco Gate about this smelling salt situation. One of the things that this guy mentions is, let's see, that the Niners, that they, of course, they, let's see, the band clearly hasn't stopped the 49ers from using them. The San Francisco Chronicle did a deep dive during the season on how the Niners continued to use the product and the systems they created among the players to make sure everyone has smelling salts. Among the people that they say use them include 49ers general manager John Lynch. What?

Oh, boy. I mean, it makes sense, but.

Does it? Well, because it's John Lynch, who I think was a juicer back in the day. I would be on surprise. Every white linebacker was juicing and was out of their minds.

He was a strong safety, but yes. He was a strong safety.

Bill Romanowski. I guess I'm thinking of Bill Romanowski.

Oh, absolutely, Romanowski.

But those guys were all juicing. But here's my question. Why does John Lynch need to lock in this hard as the general manager at this point on the sideline? You know what I mean? It's done. His general managing is done. He doesn't call the plays. He was in charge of getting the players to sign on the team like months ago. Why does John Lynch need to be doing smelling salts during the game? That, to me, speaks of an addiction problem.

Yes.

So I don't know what the Seahawks policy is on this.

McDonald, to me, seems—I don't know. I think there's an old-school football-ness to it that would make me think maybe he does do it, but I've never seen him doing it, and he also seems like— I mean, isn't it true that McDonald has the biggest biceps of any coach? Is that true, I think?

Supposedly, yeah. That's what they say. And, I mean, from looking at him— Yeah, they're pretty—he's a big boy.

So I feel like he might be one of those guys that's meal prepping and doing all this stuff and not wanting to just huff ammonia on the sideline. to lock it it just seems again i can't get over my one memory of of smelling them as a kid and how unpleasant it was like it was it was it was like you jumped into a swimming pool and all of the chlorine in every swimming pool in the world went up your nose at the same time that was what it

so if george kittle offered you some smelling salts i probably would right because i would

because i want to be i want to be a fun hang i want to be a fun hang i i like i kind of like george kittle i like his vibe and i would want to be cool i wouldn't want him to think i was a nerd

who doesn't do smelling just ask for tequila instead be like pass on the smelling salts give

me some tequila yeah well maybe like a little tequila a little uh a little smelling salts and you've got yourself a wild friday night with george kittle so what do you think david are

they gonna win seahawks that is i think so yeah i think i think it'll probably be a bit of a messy game uh similar to you know two weeks ago but yeah i think they'll end up winning especially it being at home the crowd's gonna really be in it i think they're gonna be running the ball hardcore and the you know they've been running the ball pretty well recently so i think they'll do just enough jason meyers will kick a bunch of field goals and and they'll they'll end

up winning yeah i'm gonna try to stay calm even if the game doesn't start off super great because i think the thing about the seahawks defense is that it it it's it can be you know the teams will still get a playoff here or there and you'll think like you know i mean they'll throw a 25 yard pass you'll be like oh shit but it's like it's this just sort of like repetitive grinding down that the defense does to you over time and kind of yeah the seahawks defense that is and like we just sort of it seems i mean i think that this is part of why like mcdonald punts the least or sorry mcdonald goes for it on fourth i think maybe almost the least of anyone in the nfl because i think his strategy is like look we're not going to give you the ball on the 50 yard line we're not even going to give you the ball on the 45 yard line we're going to punt it a lot which is unfun and unsexy in football now but we're going to make you go like 90 yards every single time because we just think that our defense is going to eventually stop you um somewhere in that process and that's probably true it has been true so I do think we're going to win but I am trying to um I'm trying to prepare myself for uh having a lot of feelings around this unlike you I will not be missing the game i will probably be in my car parked outside of your daughter's birthday screaming into the

void you're allowed just don't bring that nonsense i will not bring no i know i won't david i got you

i got you bro i'm not i am not gonna mess this up for you i promise hey luke can i uh since we're

in the badlands talking about sports can i break some nfl news tbtl breaking news

i gotta fire the theme if we're doing the badlands

okay what's the news i just got this in a group chat with some buddies mike tomlin resigned the longest tenured nfl coach like 19 years i saw we'll be seeing him on tv i think next week

that's crazy he still is you know kind of young in comparison to a lot of nfl coaches so So I would be surprised if he didn't go for another team at some point.

I think that's a big mistake from the Steelers personally. I don't know. I guess it comes down to the question of do you want to always be sort of relevant for the playoffs but not elite? I mean, granted, they have five Super Bowls, including one that I unfortunately attended when they beat the Seahawks. So it's like they've got a great track record as a team, and he's never had a losing season, which is unbelievable in the modern NFL. And yet he's always been doing it with like some crazy smoke and mirrors where it's like they're always like it's like, oh, this is going to be the years that they fall off. And then they just like they somehow like, you know, nine and seven their way into the playoffs like every single year. So I guess they just decided they didn't want that anymore. Yeah. Well, he resigned. But maybe he resigned. Maybe the writing was on the wall. Right. Right. It's also I mean, what a grind to be an NFL coach like that just is such a time consuming job. when you've done it for a million years. And again, I think that they're already talking about trying, you know, one of the networks wants to just hire him to come in and be a commentator. I don't know. I mean, that must just be something appealing to him. I think that, I mean, I think he's obviously a really, really good coach in that he's been able to always make that Pittsburgh team. competitive and my guess is and i'm usually wrong about these things pittsburgh and and maybe even the ravens are about to go into the wilderness because i think they both lost good coaches and like it's you know where are the other good coaches out there like yes exactly who are they going to replace them with that's going to be and like sometimes you get lucky like we got so lucky with mcdonald that he because ever for every every mcdonald you have a mcdaniel in miami who by the

way i love that guy like i wouldn't say no if he wants to come be the oc next year oh my god that

would be amazing mcdonald mcdaniel that would be that would be crazy that would be i mean do we do we have i'm coining it right now i love it do we have the like do we have the horses for that like i mean does it i feel like he needs i don't know what he needs exactly but his offenses are so much fun but they're so trick trickerated and like they're so out the box that um it would be

interesting a little something with Shahid and JSN and sure you know um but uh yeah I feel like

I feel like in the NFL it's such a um crapshoot with the coach like particularly if they're not a known quantity and also like it's also so funny to see a guy like Belichick or even Pete Carroll how about like Pete Carroll's a better example like even a coach who's good can just become unfortunately a not very effective coach if the personnel doesn't work out for them where they are so it's like I think if you've got somebody like Mike Tomlin and my guess is that if he resigned i wonder if that was because they told him yeah you can resign or we can go ahead and part company and we'll yeah out of respect we'd like to let you resign i don't know if that was the conversation but like with harbaugh i think that with the ravens getting i know everybody in baltimore wanted it but like i don't know i just i think the guy's a pretty good coach those harbaugh boys can really coach you look at they're always in the playoffs with their teams so um to your

point about his age david though he's 53 years old and i'm looking at the all-time leaders mike tomlin is three years older than me yeah and luke he's dude he's 10th all-time in wins for a head coach so like if he coached like 50 another 10 15 years he could be top five all-time in wins if he you know assuming he has sustained success yeah right i don't want to live in a world where mike

tomlin is only three years older than me he seems like a he's a grown-ass man who's been having who's had a 20-year head coaching career oh and we've been the same practically the same age the

whole time if he makes feel better i'm looking now very specifically 53 years and 304 days okay

so march march in march he'll be 54 he's almost 54 okay i feel better i i feel like my my head

coaching career still has a chance yeah yeah yeah you could catch him in the winds total yeah

here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female

no man it's not from a female all right just one quick email that i want to talk about with you both again because andrew has uh he's very intentionally and very assiduously avoided engaging with me on this topic because he thinks it's politically too hot to touch and this is the question of and of course i can't i don't think i can get into my my gmail account here um the the the tbtl gmail account that i need but basically i've been saying on the show for many years and uh and i stand by this that if uh i think that backing your car into park it is republican coded and i say this as a person who lives in red america and i see it all the all the time everywhere i go and it's it's it's primarily big trucks um although it can be regular cars too it and i started noticing it by the way i never saw anyone do this 15 years ago it was a non-event unless maybe it was like a delivery truck or something but this was absolutely not a thing anyone did and then all of a sudden everybody started doing it and the everybody who started doing it at least where i live were people who it's pretty clear to me were if not full-on maga at least much more sympathetic to the let's just say conservative ideology and listener dan is fully supporting me on this he says i 100 agree with you on the backing into parking spaces nonsense case in point is when you have some person backing their oversized rigged into a compact space and holding up three other cars or more that are waiting while they take extra time while they could have just pulled into the spot and everybody could have went along on their day i could sort of understand back in the day when cars did not have backup cameras how it would be advantageous to back into the spot because you can kind of control the situation. But even when you're doing that, you're blocking other people from moving along. Nowadays, every vehicle has a freaking backup camera, so it's not that hard to back out of these spaces even if you have a big oversized rig. Yes, maybe you have to wait until there's a clear path for you to go, but you're not blocking the parking spot for several other cars that have to wait while you maneuver your car into its spot. You're doing the waiting, backing in your oversized car.

over using your camera and waiting for your turn i don't understand how that email ends but what i know is that dan agrees with me and that's all i care about well i think part of maybe what they're

saying is when you're another car in the parking lot you're used to maybe waiting for people to back out of a spot but hopefully the reward is you then get to take that spot as opposed to having to wait for someone to back into the spot right and then it's like well okay now you're just in the spot right and that feels like a less um generous you know movement to to do if you're

in a large crowded parking lot it's like are you are you inconveniencing everyone else or are you the only one who's inconvenienced exactly and that is and that is to me an inherently

conservative political ideology which is like my my needs matter my needs are prioritized over everyone else's needs if i feel like i need to carry this gun on my hip in home depot so i can be safe i'm going to prioritize that if i feel like you know like i do think that there is one worldview that is like hey let's all try to make everyone's life a little bit better and then there's a worldview of like i got mine you get yours and like i do think that that's you know i think that that's part of this and i also just it feels to me like again what you're hearing in my voice is a person who uh shadow boxes a lot with some of the residents or some of the people in the general areas that I live in now because this is new for me still to live out in an area where I'm in a deeply red part of the state of Washington whereas like Andrew A, he's just walking or taking the E-Line most places. He's not in the trenches the way I... He can never understand me. He doesn't know what it's like out here in real America. Drive a mile in your shoes. That's what I'm saying. Park a mile in my shoes at the Walmart. Park at the Walmart in Longview and you will see some things And you will experience some stuff that is, you know, is very – actually, Walmart is not – to be honest with you, Walmart is not the worst for this. It's more like the Home Depot.

Well, and I do also wonder if part of it is people who tend to back into spaces are, like you said, maybe driving a big truck. And they're used to backing into places anyways because then they let down the hatch in their pickup in their haul. Like they're real men usually, right, unlike us.

Well, I mean define masculinity. Define real.

i'm i'm being you know extra but like it does feel like maybe there's a correlation between like you're used to backing in backing up to a place backing up to the dump letting down the hatch in the back of your giant pickup and throwing stuff out so you're just more comfortable with

like i'm gonna take my time i'm gonna get i guess but i think it also arguably like in the home depot part you know who never does that our dad walt b because because think about this if you park your car and if you like his truck he's got a toyota truck if you pull the nose in to the parking spot then where is your where's your like lift gate you know the back of the truck the access point is out in the open area which is where you want it to be right if you back your truck in then you can't get to the bed of your truck as easily because there's very likely another car that's no the nose of that car or maybe the back of that other truck is abutting where the back of your truck is which also gets to this other thing too which is like and truthfully out here it's probably 50 50 but like the number of lifted trucks that are mostly driving people to volleyball practice um as opposed to now there's your rings you were talking john about um golden valley minnesota being the closest suburban ring to maybe the twin cities or minneapolis yeah you can track this stuff by the rings like david where you live is probably the hottest zip for this because you live kind of on maybe the first big ring of seattle of north seattle right where there is

probably truck culture but a lot of those there's enough space for trucks you can park trucks but

a lot of those people are still working at microsoft right or have jobs in seattle or have jobs that are not like where i am a lot of the guys really are just like construction dudes like these big dumb trucks presumably they do put stuff in their big dumb trucks so there's at least that but like you get to like like in downtown seattle you're not going to have a bunch of big dumb trucks as it makes no sense you can't park him it's a hassle but then you get just where there's enough there's enough driveways and enough two-car garages where a guy and it's usually a guy can get his big dumb truck but his job does not need a big dumb truck that to me is the that's the that's

the silliest i think a lot of this is contextual like it's all context-based and so like right if you're in the home depot in in in longview or whatever um i think if you're like parking far enough away where you're not like blocking things like whatever back in i don't sure you might

inconvenience one person i mean honestly back in anywhere you want i'm just going to judge you

sure that's how free speech works but yes but but the one that really gets you know grinds my gears and and luke uh parking etiquette is a real hot spot for me a real Okay.

spot for me so a chris sullivan pain point it is i have documented years of my of my frustrations people parking but um like i'm 0.8 miles i know that very specifically from the trader joe's from my house and like in those we know have a small footprint and their parking lots are small and so and i live in very blue st paul although you know everyone's politics may vary and like when i see someone backing in their subaru in that and i drive a subaru just for the record but like when i see someone backing in their outback i am like you monster like there is a line of people waiting in this yes or like what are you doing that to me is like so much more egregious than like someone

like a home depot parking lot where right because it's like we're at trader joe's like like you and yes that's the other thing is just if you're gonna do that park far away and yes yes you know give everybody a little bit of a break yes um so uh okay good well i feel like we've really done some good work here today boys we've solved some problems that andrew's andrew's unwilling or too afraid to help me solve so i don't even know if we want him back tomorrow but um anyway all right well uh listen both of you thank you so much for being here um david uh go home and

get some sleep we're actually going to the aquarium today for her birthday so that's going

to be really fun if you're going to the aquarium on one hour sleep you should be allowed to watch a little bit of Seahawks. And you should get some smelly socks. Bring some smelly socks.

I think we should be allowed to watch a little bit of Seahawks.

Yeah, just a little bit of Seahawks. Tim Robinson voice. Anyway. All right, bro. Well, I guess have a fun birthday with your daughter. Thank you. Thank you guys both.

It was a pleasure.

Have a great rest of your Tuesday, John, as well. Thanks for being here. Andrew, the prodigal son, will return tomorrow. So we will be able to talk to him. I'll be in Chicago, though, Lord willing, and the Creeks don't rise. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall. David, and good luck to all. There you go. Oh, no. In honor of Gemma's birthday. Power out.