Muse

Hi, I'm Genevieve Telford-Warren. Can you describe for the ladies and gentlemen of the jury what it is that you do for a living, Ms. Telford-Warren? Sure. I am a social media brand ambassador for myself, for my own account, and for a third party account as well, which belongs to my dog, who's a pet, who I do also brand negotiation deals for him as well. And I do DJing also for party and events and corporate and personal and public. And I do also certified, I'm a lash tech also, but I haven't really done that in a while. but I can I'm still certified to do it and I also just do negotiating brand deals from my own account as well and commercial acting as well as well as modeling and some acting as well that's great

started from the bottom now we're here started from the bottom now the whole team here six foot seven foot eight foot bunch young money militia and I am the commissioner oh boy who keeps putting

Twizzlers in the fridge, I told, is it Sarah? Crystal. Crystal does it? She likes some food like that.

Okay, well, Crystal, you and I are gonna have another Twizzler talk. I'm sorry, but when I hear an undeserved compliment, it makes my ears wanna throw up.

Oh, your ears are always throwing up about something.

Wait, what?

So what was the exact question? Don't worry about it, I'll move on, it's all fine.

You're both little troublemakers, you're both huge in Japan, you probably have a lot to talk about, go!

Keep things light, don't bring up your divorce. Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to a brand new edition of TBTL. This is, of course, the show that's too beautiful to live.

Everybody calls it garbage. Most people call it a problem. We call it our challenge.

My name is Andrew Walsh, hanging out with you today and in a weird headspace, because I got a note early this morning from my co-bro, Luke Burbank, telling me that he is under the weather today. He says he's so sick, he barely has a voice. Luke does not usually take sick days, so I believe him. Should I, considering that it's coming off the end of a sports weekend in which Luke and I were out there in the streets celebrating? I mean, in the street, Maplewood. I think we're in Maplewood celebrating together.

Maple Leaf.

Maple Leaf. Oh, by the way, we should never, ever turn on the guest mics before we are ready to introduce...

Andrew, I cannot allow a slight misspeak to go unremarked upon. You know that.

No, this is good. Here's the deal. Usually when I'm hosting the show without Luke, I try to put together kind of a little bit of a planned intro with drops and everything. But today, I got so excited producing the show you're about to hear. I've been in the studio cutting tape, adding my voice to tape in ways you guys are going to find exciting and potentially tingly. But because of that, I'm going into this show, into this intro, not knowing what I'm going to say. I must, Genevieve, can you back me up? Yeah. I'm scatterbrained.

You're scatterbrained, yeah. Your eyes have that sort of deer in the headlights look like anything could come out of your mouth. That's right. It's anyone's guess, including you.

So let's try to get some of the important stuff out of the way. My name is Andrew Walsh. I don't go to court. I don't get traffic tickets. I'm a good boy, and that's not my arena. My name is Andrew Walsh. You're listening to TBTL. Luke is out. Genevieve is in.

Do you have any idea who I am? I'm a verified Yelp complainer.

Hey, Genevieve. Welcome to the show. Hi, Andrew. What a mess right off the bat. But I think we got, did we take care of everything we need to take care of? You're the expert. I don't know. As far as the intro. Do people know who you are?

I think so.

You're my life partner. You're the apple of my eye.

Co-homeowner.

Co-host on After These Messengers. I think we said that. That's about it, right? That's about it. You got anything else going on?

Co-cat owner.

Yeah, we do have a cat together. Future co-dog owners, but we don't have a dog picked out yet. What a resume. That's just the plan.

I'm a lash tech.

A lash tech, of course. So, Veeves, let's just jump in right here and talk about what we're going to do today on the show. So, I want to hear what you've been up to. You're always working on some projects. We're going to hear about that. But then, after we get those niceties out of the way, and I'll tell you what I've been up to. You've been upstairs in your sewing room the past two days. I've been down here in my studio with my VCR the past two days. We'll trade some notes about what we've both been working on. But then, the reason everything is so scattered today at the top of the show is because the second half of the show is amazing. I've put together a quiz.

Yeah, always backload the good stuff.

That's what they say. You want to just totally isolate the listeners.

at the beginning make them feel like they break them down break them down yeah make them beg for decent content sure then you come in the back half right and you're like listen this is what we could do if we tried and that's what we're gonna do this is your reward for eating your vegetables i have why they put dessert at the end of the meal that's right so i have i have a bunch of tape that i pulled from movies and a very specific kind of movie that you and i like i I describe these as movies that Genevieve and Andrew like to watch while playing Gin Rummy.

Yeah.

I don't know if the rest of the world describes them that way. But that, you know what I mean?

Is there no handy acronym for that?

They tend to be 90s, sometimes 80s and 90s movies that we've seen before. They've worn a bit of a groove into our brains and spirits. It's like a groove. It's like a groove. Exactly. And I think it's going to be a pretty easy quiz. But there are some audio elements that I worked too hard on that I'm going to play for you. And we'll get to that in a little bit. First, though, the niceties. What have you been working on up in that sewing room of yours?

I finished minutes before we started recording. I finished a really cute little black mini dress that I made. I found there's this great store for crafters in Seattle. I want to recommend it. It's called Recreative, Seattle Recreative. They have two locations. The one I go to is in Greenwood. It's a teeny little hole-in-the-wall store, but they kind of absorb crafting, like free donated craft materials that people don't need anymore or donating.

Well, maybe they'll accept them. I mean, they have a whole section of just, I think, paperclips in the back, but they wouldn't accept my box full of expensive leftover beads.

Well, they said they would think about it if you were willing to come in and be grilled about it.

They said I had to make an appointment for a donation and they would go through it and they seemed very uninterested in having me come.

Well, all I can tell you is that when I go there, it is especially, you know, in a post-Joanne universe, they have fabric remnants and sometimes it's nothing special. But once in a while you will find such a treasure there. And I found one such treasure. I found two yards of really high quality black wool, like kind of suit suiting weight wool, a little heavier maybe. And it was perfect for like a really cute like mod, like little mini dress. And so I got a pattern from Etsy, I think. And I spent the whole holiday weekend, which I am still on. So I'm volunteering.

Yes. Thank you, by the way. It is a holiday to another reason we could be a little suspicious of Luke's motives.

today i'm so sick well he believes in service and the legacy of dr king that is true he is he's

today is not a holiday for him today is a day of service so anyway i've been spending servicing his hangover i'm just joking i'm just joking luke never very rarely takes time off um but i spent

the last two days cutting and um and measuring and remembering how to do invisible zippers which is just a nightmare but it was all worth it because today i finished this adorable little black wool mini dress that i'm wearing with like knee-high boots very cute you came in here and

you did a little spin for me yeah it looked good so i'm excited because i've been so you know your patterns you just go on etsy and you you buy them yeah there's a lot of different ways to get

patterns i belong to seam work which is like a sewing community i think i pay like a fee every year for that i can get some free patterns there um but i also will just go on etsy and kind of put in what it is that i want and and usually you can find what you want and the cheapest way to get patterns is they send you a pdf file you print it on your own then you cut up all the paper and glue it together which in itself is an arts and craft project that i enjoy like it's no skin off my nose to be gluing and pasting and cutting like that's half the fun and you can do that while watching almost anything on television except Tehran which is very I've been watching Tehran which is very subtitle heavy it's my first he's getting really good but oh good you do have to be able to watch that with your eyeballs but yeah anyway so I cut out all these pieces I cut out all my fabric I remembered how to do invisible zippers and the end result is a product that I'm

really really happy with nice and it's done now or you're just like very close no it's 100 if you weren't done i don't know if you would be in here because there's something about a project like that when you get really near the end of something just to put it down you can't i feel like this is something like my my let's call them hobbies let's be generous and call them hobbies my hobbies but even like if i'm playing something like mine well i guess minecraft maybe wouldn't to fit into this one, but like when I'm doing something

that's more digital in nature but i get really obsessive compulsive about it i'm like that it's like i can't put it down that's why i end up staying up until three or four in the morning

you get into this different headspace oh i that's what i love about sewing and hobbies in general is and crafting is that i it it turns off that part of your brain that's looking at the clock or thinking about the future it's a way of being 100 in the present and i think that's like why i wreck why i love hobbies and what i why i recommend i pick up hobbies all the time like i have probably how many hobbies have i had in the 25 years we've been together i mean sewing is different

sewing has i think i found it with sewing yeah you've you've you've advanced further in your

craft and you've stuck with it i tried bookbinding i left for a while i got bookbinding but you know like i learned how to do bookbinding and then i was kind of like well they're sort of like not I mean, I'm sure there, I'm sure this is no offense to the master book binders of the world. I'm sure there's quite a lot to that craft, but you know, I can only make so many blank notebooks for friends and family before I'm like, well, I feel like I've sort of tapped out what I'm going to get from this knitting. You know, I haven't picked up my knitting needles in forever, but I hope springs eternal because they, all my knitting supplies like live, I know where they live. They live in one of my craft cabinets. Not the wooden one, but the metal one. I've just had a lot of hobbies over the years.

It reminds me of the Simpsons tape that we played on the show. I think it was maybe just on Friday about the closet. This is different than what you're saying.

Oh, you used to do my little paintings?

Oh, you used to do little paintings, almost like three-dimensional little paintings. Some of them hang on our walls, right? Yeah, a few of them. Yeah. Oh, I can't find it. Oh, yeah, the failure closet. This is what I'm looking for.

Hey, how come you never play your guitar anymore?

I'll tell you the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad.

Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV.

What's on?

It doesn't matter.

I love that. That does not describe you. Yours is not a failure closet.

Yeah, I mean, I picked up and put down a number of usually kind of craft type projects over the years. But I do. Oh, during the pandemic, I got like super obsessed for about for a hot minute with embroidery until you told me that nobody wants to receive embroidery as a gift. and it really poured cold water all over my dreams of becoming a master embroiderer.

I don't think that's what I said exactly.

It is almost literally word for word what you said. No one wants to receive your hobbies as a gift.

I said hobbies, yes, generally speaking.

But you were referring in the instance it was about my embroidery.

I remember this conversation. I did not even remember that that was about embroidery. But what were you embroidering? Because I do remember, and I almost brought this up to let the listeners weigh in on this, except I know I'm just going to get beat up in the comments. I don't even know if I want the listeners to weigh in because of course they're going to take your side on this. But I would say that there are certain things that people pick up as hobbies and then they create something that is fun to share and useful for another person. But there are other things that you make as a hobby that you got to just sort of say to yourself, this is my hobby. This is for me.

What are some good examples of things that are not for other people, but just for the hobbyists.

The stuff that I do, I digitize TV commercials. I wouldn't give as a gift a thumb drive.

You wouldn't give them a YouTube link?

I wouldn't give them a thumb drive with a bunch of commercials from the 80s or 90s.

And you think that's equivalent to receiving a hand-embroidered piece of art?

I don't, I mean, it depends on what it is. And I can't remember the specifics of what launched this, but I remember you were going to give somebody as a gift something that was like,

It was an embroidered llama. It was so cute.

Oh, that does sound cute. Yeah. Maybe I picked the wrong battle on that one. I just mean generally speaking, not everything that we make as our hobby necessarily is a good gift.

And other than thumb drives full of digitized content, what's another good example of that?

Well, I think you do have to, and I think I learned this from you, I think you have to be a little bit careful about giving away anything that would take up a lot of space on a wall, if you're a photographer or a painter or anything like that. If you know the person, and I'm somebody who fancies myself a bit of an amateur photographer, and I love doing it, but I wouldn't presume for somebody who, you know, except for a very, very small number of people.

wouldn't presume that they want to put my work on a wall and if they don't then they get this thing that they got to throw in the closet or something like that so i do think that sometimes a hobbyist needs to understand that the the hobby is for them that was my that was all i was saying and

that it's not always just like a you just happened to say it as i was talking about doing an embroidery

llama it was just i don't remember the llama honestly you know me i love i i i where'd that

llama end up did you give it to somebody i don't think i ever made it i was too my my hopes were dashed yeah i love the idea that i can guess who's getting an embroidery llama now i actually i kind

of wouldn't mind one that's why i'm surprised that that's what started this conversation no actually embroidered llama but wait a second i thought embroidery is so you know you don't mean like a plushy llama you isn't embroidery like a flat piece of yes well we have one canvas and then you sew a design into it.

Yeah, so you know in our kitchenette we have a little, it's like a little still life of like hanging plants on a piece of, you know, white linen or canvas or whatever and it's just threads that are sewn to make it look like, you know, it's in our kitchen. It hangs downstairs.

Yeah, in our kitchenette area. That's embroidery. That's embroidery. And I made that.

As is the little thing

that your brother gave you that says, speaking of Yelp, I think you made a little sign for you.

That's actually, I think cross-stitch perhaps, which is like a sort of a subcategory,

but it's related. And listen, as you say that I'm thinking about the specific listeners who I used to follow on Instagram, who I know that these are their hobbies and they make beautiful, beautiful work. I'm not saying it's never a good gift. I'm just saying as the hobbyist, you need to ask yourself, did I make this for me for the experience of doing it? Or did I truly make it as a gift for somebody else? And is this what this person wants or is this what I want to make and give them? And is it more of a gift to yourself all right it's just a question to ask i'll put together like a

worksheet on it great yeah just sort of a checklist that you should always ask before you give

somebody a gift from your heart i feel like sometimes on this show i come off as too likable that's kind of an ongoing problem with me uh so here's my gift to you genevieve i'm going to give you this little uh screen here so you can share my screen no no you don't get to keep the tablet But you get to keep the memories of what I'm going to show you on this tablet because my hobby lately has been going through these VHS tapes that I found at a garage sale or various garage sales, I guess, and digitizing them. And I kind of go – your sewing hobby has remained pretty consistent at least for the past year or so.

I've been doing it for about two years, two and a half maybe.

Without long breaks.

Yeah, I just it. I mean, for one thing, it is there's nothing like having an item of clothing that you envision and you make it and it fits your body perfectly. And as I get and I love learning and like every sewing, every time I sew something, I learn something new about like, like some technique or something. And so it really is such a satisfying to me that the feeling of learning something new is the most satisfying feeling. And there's just there's no equal to like learning in the in the process of doing something. For me, that's how I learn the best.

For me, I feel like my hobbies kind of come and go or my passions. I don't even know if you want to call it a hobby. I guess I'm pretty consistent with darts these days. I don't like to go more than a couple of days without tossing darts here in my basement. And so that might be the exception. Yeah. But then the things that I do behind a computer, whether it's like I said, I do like certain video games, just silly games like Minecraft. but you can get really obsessed with in the open world thing. But then I'll put down Minecraft for an entire year and just be like, I don't. And during that fallow period, I'll actually think to myself, I think I'm just done. Like the idea of logging into Minecraft, you know, during certain cycles just seems so ridiculous to me. It's like, why would I do that? It holds zero appeal.

Yeah, like who would ever do this? It's insanity.

You'll get a little trigger whether you see, whether it's actually it's not even usually a promotion or an advertisement it's just something else or i'll sit down and be like oh it'll be fun just to start a new world or whatever happened to

that thing i'll just log in for a second are my horses too crowded are my horses too crowded that's

genevieve's thing when i create these little farms in minecraft the only thing genevieve cares about is that i'm not over packing the stables or the little the only thing that matters to me in minecraft is animal welfare that's right um and so i'll go through periods where i'm just like with the digitizing of tapes it can be even more so even though it's something that I'm a little bit more again I wouldn't use the word proud but something that

is actually seems like less shame

but it is something that I feel like I'm preserving and sharing both on YouTube

I think that like yes I think your digitization of

Thank you.

these old preserving of ephemera and the way that you do it with your like love of uh sort of like uh the archiving the archivist in you and your love of i do love archiving and like preserving and really like and and record keeping and i you know i did my my my master's degree all those years ago in public history and i always think of like how important in the same way that like the people who do wikipedia are doing the lord's work you know like every internet archive yeah the internet people who like you and you are contributing to this who are in this world that we're in where things are increasingly like media disappears all the time like and especially from

like a pre-digital era yeah that's what i was gonna say not increasingly i would say more it's this era of the 80s and 90s where people had vhs tapes but nobody was actually up you know like

kind of uploading and saving tv shows i think what you're saving and the ephemera especially like somewhere is every episode of you know mr belvedere mr belvedere right or like some some stupid sitcom that only even had one season somewhere in some dusty room that exists it's

probably released on dvd at some point in the yeah but there are certain things that some of

the like commercials and promos and things anything that's live that was live that if you don't grab it off this VHS tape and put it on YouTube and save it and make it searchable. It's just never going to exist. And does that one thing matter? No. But like history is made up of all of these little things. Cultural history is all of those things, right? And it all, to be interesting and to be helpful and to teach us anything down the road, every little piece of that cultural history

actually does matter which brings us to where we are today most of my digitizing is of commercials because you and i have a podcast about commercials after these messages it's a passion and also i feel like that's the bigger ephemera when i grab these tapes sometimes it might just be movies taped off of television and a recent example would be rebel without a cause i have some tape that somebody who i never met you know recorded rebel without a cause off of some either local channel or cable channel but here locally in seattle at some point i bought that tape at a garage sale i'm not going to digitize that copy of rebel without a cause there's that's obviously exactly my point in between are the commercial breaks and the little moments where a news a local newscaster might come on and say we're going to have more on the weather coming up at 11 those things were never saved a quick little live promo for the news those are true ephemera and

still remain that way that's how i feel about the gary i've been watching the gary sorry i'm larry sanders show the gary shandling uh parody uh talk show that was on in the 90s and one of the things we've both been enjoying about it is that whoever recorded it um did so off of some was it's like a canadian oh yeah channel or british channel or something british

or australian i think it's australian actually maybe i think about it and every at the end of

every episode of larry sanders show they say like coming up is david letterman and his guest is you know paula abdul or whoever and it's just kind of fun to be like in this one moment in time like

like you just get a glimpse of something yep that's exactly exactly what i love and so mostly i focus on commercials but i did get a big grip of tapes from some family that loved fx programming back in the mid 90s now i think i've talked about this on the show before but i don't know if people would remember it's a it's become a bit of an obsession of mine because i have so many tapes of this when you think of the fx network now you think of them creating new programming right like atlanta i believe was an fx show they've made well like the americans and that stuff was fx they also i think you know are a good place to find good movies to watch you know fx we know what fx is now today but when it started i only learned this through this project fx popped up in like the early to mid 90s i want to say and it was like a combination of A lot of the programming was like a combination of Good Morning America and MTV. It has this very MTV sensibility.

Uncomfortable bedfellows, you would think.

Weird, right? But they had a show that was called Breakfast Time. And that was the very first tape I popped in was an episode of Breakfast Time, like a four-hour morning show. Very chatty. But it all takes place, and this is for the whole network back then. And basically, FX, the network, bought some sort of a house or a studio that they converted into looking like a house with all these different rooms right on the edge of Central Park. And they would do these shows out of the house. And sometimes they're like milling about in what looks like a kitchen or they could do cooking segments in the kitchen, but then they could go hang out in the dining room or the living.

or whatever and it was the fourth wall was never there you always you saw camera people in the background they were running around they would go over to a bunch of people going through letters or emails at a desk but like email is early back then so like they don't even have a like a at fx.com it's like at delphi reach us fx personal effects at delphi.com or whatever the internet was so new and you could fax in your questions but they were leaning so hard into audience interaction in a in a kind of a very early digital way they were breaking ground on

that but it's also very corny but but a little post-modern in the sense of like breaking like no sense of the fourth wall like totally uh like very high concept with that big house that like everything takes place in inside this uh explicitly you know staged space but that they've tried to like recreate all of the the elements of your day and it's i mean it didn't become like a standard or anything but i really appreciate the high concept big swing of it all and the host one of

the hosts of breakfast time was um tom bergeron yes people know and laurie hibbert i don't know if she went laurie hibbert maybe was a canadian personality who hosted the show with him between 94 and 96 and tom bergeron what is he best known for um america's funniest home videos hollywood squares good morning oh good morning america so that kind of thing do you know that name if i

know then yeah i was gonna say um i think i think america's funniest home videos would be my my most uh would have been my first guess for him yeah yeah and so that was the morning show

breakfast time but they also had a show in the afternoons i'm assuming called personal fx and whoever i got these tapes from was especially obsessed with personal fx and again this only aired from 94 to 96 I want to say so this very specific time stamp of it and personal effects was like antiques roadshow they're like we're gonna do our kind of MTV-esque take uh and when I say MTV there was no music involved but just sort of like kind of 90s yeah kind of hipstery vibe or whatever and when I first got these tapes I was going through it I found that interesting but I wasn't really capturing a lot of that because I was like I just want the commercials I can't digitize this, all of these tapes, but lately I'm only one man. I've been needle dropping a little bit and just isolating little bits because first of all, one thing that changed is I've started posting some of these little clips to TikTok. I've never been a big TikTok person, but I think maybe I miss Instagram. It's funny that I ditch Instagram because of ethical reasons and how I feel about Mark Zuckerberg. But, oh, I'll hop over to TikTok. Whoever's running TikTok, I'm sure, is a stand up guy. Yeah, exactly. But anyway, so I've been kind of posting. There's a lot of kind of vintage VHS community on TikTok. Hannah and I were talking about this on the Spotless podcast that I'll post later today. And anyway, so I've been posting some of this stuff. And I can't post it all because I feel like I will lose some of my 100 followers on TikTok. but i do not mind boring you with this genevieve and the tbtl audience here i want to play for you a little clip just to give you a sense of it the people that they have on so imagine them they're kind of again this is like antiques roadshow so they have some of their guests coming into the studio slash living room slash whatever they're doing this in this house but then they're also really big into like telecommunications sort of and so they often are talking to people on tv so let's just picture two hosts two expert like antique appraisers or something like that but

also keep in mind that this the antiques roadshow i do think this show gives you an appreciation for how good antiques roadshow is because this these people are not ready discount the people that

they have on so what they do is they bring some people into the studio but then they have what they call their fx road warriors are like their correspondents who go out and then they'll always have somebody in somebody's like home right there's one there's like yardstick collector

right or like whatever i have every you know so was there one that's garfield or is that something that ever my am i conflating i'm either conflating a personal effects with an episode of i think you should leave or there was oh there was a big garfield sketch and i think i'm completely

the um the jim davis home where they where they have a uh intervention for an addict yeah but it's in a garfield home anyway putting that aside for a second i want to share with you a couple of these things because the people that they bring into this so some of the people are here but then sometimes they're literally sitting in a living room talking to a television where their correspondent is somewhere else in america interviewing somebody maybe in their apartment or their home looking at their collection. And it's amazing how they didn't seem to have any. This sounds really rude to the people who they bring on, but they all look like hostages making like a hostage video. They all look so nervous and they're scared to talk. And there must be something about the process of the producers bringing people in. They just didn't make them feel comfortable enough. And it's hilarious because they're all there together. So you'll see the guy who's ready to show off his collection of, I don't know, baseball cards, whatever, in the corner. And he's just sort of sitting in a living room chair looking a little bit lost with his cane leaning up against his armchair while they're talking to the comic book boy on a TV. Here's this comic book kid. And I feel so bad for this kid. And what I love is these appraisers have to tell this kid that his comic book isn't worth shit. and one of them the guy breaks the news to the kid kind of nicely but this woman you don't see a lot of her in this particular clip but she is severe she was these are the two experts these are the two experts so i'm gonna play for this they're wrapping up a conversation with some guy in studio and then they're going to toss to this kid who's joining them from a television he's holding

one single comic book i would appreciate it thank you so much take good care and back in colorado kyle awaits an appraisal hi kyle welcome what did you bring to be appraised so you can see two

camera people in the shot because they need all the different angles another thing about this though is it's very unforgiving for everybody involved because you're seeing the backs of people's heads it's like really hard for like makeup and everybody like the one guy looks fine the appraiser looks fine head-on but then in the back you see that he's kind of got a a mullet combined with male pattern baldness and i'm saying that as somebody who has male pattern baldness but it's just like it's hard to stylize yourself for every single angle of the

yeah i mean their production i think eyes were bigger than their production stomachs yes i still

love the idea of this but anyway so you see the camera people sitting around you see some people in the background ready for their moment in the limelight and again this one woman who's an appraiser we're going to hear a little bit from her but she is so she just didn't come here to She did not come here to make friends. Oh, welcome.

What did you bring to be appraised? Oh, this comic book.

Now, by the way, the chyron here says, live from Grand Junction, Colorado. Oh, that's also where our yardstick man is going to be. I don't know if we'll have time to get into that today. And then it says, Kyle, granddad enjoyed collecting comics. And he's holding a single comic book.

It kind of makes it seem like Kyle's the granddad.

It sort of does. And then it says, our army at war, Sergeant Rock. It's a DC comic that he's holding.

Colorado, Kyle awaits an appraisal. Hi, Kyle. Welcome. What did you bring to be appraised? This comic book. Do you collect a lot of them? Yeah. All right. How many do you have in your collection? A little over 200.

Oh, very good. Can you tell us, is that particular...

By the way, another reason you can tell this kid is uncomfortable is he keeps on messing with his ear. I'm just realizing now, whatever... They're talking to him from a different location. He's in Grand Junction. and the earpiece they gave him clearly isn't staying in. He's just uncomfortable.

Comic book, the first one, is it number one? Or do you know what the number of it is?

I think it's number 297.

Oh, number 297. Well, that would be a far later version. Usually with comic books, the first one that's issued, if it does capture...

There's that hair I was talking about from the back again.

That is rough.

No shame in having male pattern baldness, but then he's got this long hair in the back, and the shot in the back, it's tough stuff, right?

Everything about this is brutal.

You know, and continue to be... Speaking of brutal, we're about to hear for the first time from the appraiser.

Published is usually worth the most. This one here, Susie, I think about maybe $3 to $5, I would think, at this particular point.

Was that a UPC code on the bottom?

That's a UPC code, yeah.

$3 to $5. $3 to $5?

$3 to $5. Add to your collection or put this up for sale? Put it up for sale. put up for sale we'll be happy to do that for you thank you so much so that's the other thing they

do is because they want to be interactive with the audience you can put yourself up for sale but this kid in this poor kid wants to make three to five dollars by selling it on tv and he just

looks so and his home although i'm sure it's whatever it's a fine home it's just so just sort of dingy and it just look everything's staged with just the worst instincts watch this guy

this guy's got a horse he's so nervous he's got a horse he's got a little collectible horse but you can hold it in your hand he's so nervous that think about it like he's probably known for days hopefully weeks maybe months that he's going to be on the show to show off one object it's a horse when they introduce him he's so nervous he forgets gets that it's a horse take a listen to this different period all right this guy you're about

to see and i'll let you describe it genevieve he is and again i don't think that he he comes off as grumpy a lot of these people come off as grumpy because they're so nervous and it's just a real production failure like this is like again needed to make these people more at ease it really shows

you how good antiques roadshow is because even when people seem a little goofy or whatever it is It's such a comforting, comfortable – and even when they find out their stuff isn't worth anything, it's all done with a maximum of, like, good humor and, like, oh, well, it's an important thing to me, and I'll just have sentimental value to it.

So this episode –

And they don't then go, like, I guess I'll sell this worthless piece of junk on your show.

Yeah, well, I guess I'll keep it. Now, this is a totally different episode. These are different appraisers here.

And the global commemorative Bicentennial plate had an appraised value of $25 to $60. So once again, let's give you our telephone number, and we invite you to join the bidding process, 212-802-0082. Let's go back out to Grand Junction. You want to? Yes.

Let's go. We're going to go back out to Colorado, where Scott has been kind enough to join us. How are you doing there, Scott?

Good. How are you today, John? Now, how would you describe him?

He's an older man, a white guy, in a very frumpy, kind of oversized plaid jacket. He looks really, really grumpy. and he's just

he's kind of slouching in his chair a little bit

in front of you know like very country kitsch style like cupboards filled with crockery of some description

and the chyron on the screen says Scott corralled horse at yard sale for five dollars

thank you tell us what you brought well I brought this little cast iron dog bank or excuse me it's a horse

and again I really don't want to make fun of this guy because I really think it's the problem with the producers

I wish that everyone could be in the room with me right now and see what I am seeing because when I tell you that this horse is cursed I beg you to believe me it is a cursed image

I'll let you keep talking over top of it as I let him sort of spark plug Sparkplug.

Oh, yeah, there it is. I don't think this is one of the original Sparkplug things. If you look, you can see the casting is very rough, and the paint is newish, very new-looking.

He goes on to say, this appraiser goes on to say, that he thinks this might be a copy, not an original, maybe not even from before World War II or something like that.

Possibly by someone who's never seen a horse.

But they never explain what Sparkplug is. Nope, it's not good. They just assume that we know. Meanwhile, now we have a kind of a more wide shot of this guy sitting at the table looking sort of forlornly down at his dog horse.

He's really giving Archie Bunker if that's helpful.

Kind of. He doesn't seem hate-filled, though. He just seems sad.

Yeah, but I just mean like his general sort of like presentation.

He's got two collared shirts on. He's Steve Bannon-ing it, as we like to say.

Now who's not talking? Now who's hateful?

Right, right.

He's like if Archie Bunker and Steve Bannon

had a baby an old weird baby with an ugly horse look out world okay one more little piece of this and then we'll get to the really fun part of the show but this next piece is not about the people who are joining the show as guests for something to sell this is them setting up a special feature they want to do about digital photography okay digital photography is so new at this time that they're explaining it and they're explaining it only as a tool for archiving your collection of whatever it is collectibles you so another because this show is still personal fx so this is going to begin with the two hosts no i think just the the male host i believe talking to a young woman who is my 90s kind of dream girl vives let me show you what she looks like and you'll see right kind pixie cut right yeah a little kind of jacket with like a tartan skirt um black tights black

tights if i can't see your shoes but i'll bet you she's wearing some kind of boot some kind of

doc martin maybe a doc martin or maybe a um what are the other cute shoes from the time that were kind of a timeless throwback like a mary jane jane might have those hard to say but she's like

they're one of their rocking that look by the way yeah yeah she looks awesome she's really cool

looking um so she's sitting there they're doing this one in the kitchen for some reason the host is behind the counter the um web woman is there holding the digital camera that is about the size of and this is going to speak to my knowledge of sci-fi movies this digital camera she's holding looks a lot like the um field glasses that looks

skywalker uses yeah when he's looking at the various moons or whatever you know what i'm

talking about um i'm gonna does he i'm gonna table the quote various moons but yeah isn't that what

isn't he using the or is he just looking at sand creatures or something through them i just think it's not various moons i could have sworn when he's a kid on his planet you look over their sons

multiple sons i don't know but i think i think we're getting sidetracked okay sounds good but

anyway it's like in this big clunky looking thing you know it's about the size of a bread box maybe not quite but nobody knows what a bread box is anyway they're going to explain a little bit

about how this works hello everybody welcome to tuesday's edition of personal fx got a very very interesting segment we're going to be teaching you about and it has to do with computers and how to log your collectibles our fx online computer photographer renee hawks is here hi Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Now, tell me about logging pictures in the computer. Is this an expensive process?

Well, not for what we do. You know, you pay about $700 for one of these digital cameras.

I did the, I mean, is that expensive or not? I've been going around and around on that.

It's expensive.

In today's dollars, according to a couple of websites I looked at with inflation, that's around $1,500 today. which I have a digital camera that if I were to buy a new version of that whatever updated version it would be in the thousands of dollars

yes it's not that I mean I'm not saying it was like crazy at the time it's just that I'm sure that whatever piece of equipment she's holding there takes a picture that's worse than your worst cell phone picture

oh absolutely your worst cell phone picture 10 years ago I'm sure it's just like very very very pixelized

and in two minutes you can look at what you've taken and you don't have to pay the development costs or for film in two minutes i think it it only takes two minutes two minutes that's interesting

because today's up there we see your shoes mary james right oh yeah look at us we know we know the 90s collector i think she has 10 000 pieces so if she's just going to take one picture regularly i think we figured it out that would be over four thousand dollars wow and that's just if you take one picture but obviously if you have a collection you want to log you're going to take two or three

which could run you up to about twelve thousand dollars so they go on in this show with these numbers that they've kind of come up with thinking like well you buy film you take two or three photos of every object in your collection of no matter what it is how much to develop it how much to develop it and then they're kind of deciding like how much you know you're saving by using it really comes off as an infomercial for digital photography much cheaper than yeah so we look at

it as an inexpensive way to catalog what we do on the shows every day now faith you're our first

contributor on today's show right yeah do you mind if we use this i'd be very honest he's just

Mastering towards a vase that she has.

Can I sidebar on one thing here? Because our friend here with the, what was it, $900, $700 digital camera, she's really in a cute outfit. And I would never shame a woman for how she looks or what she chooses to wear. But the other woman here with the vase clearly went to hair and makeup and they put a little makeup on her face. digital camera girl not a swipe of makeup on her face and really she needs to have makeup to be on camera. She looks so washed out. Oh interesting.

I actually didn't notice that so much. Like she's

nothing on her lips. No

nothing. But I support

women though. I mean I'm just saying they're doing her a disservice.

So anyway they continue this. She takes some photos of this vase then later on they do a whole segment with another member of their digital team who's now taken those photos and uploaded them into the computer program that they use and this guy is also very 90s oh wait that's not him that's not him we're getting to it a little powder on that shine that's a guest as i'm showing genevieve as we're wrapping up another segment here

but we're about to be introduced cataloging and with us is bill corbin our fx wizard hi bill how How are you? Good. How are you, Ninda?

You were explaining this very nicely just a second ago. This is not the Bill Corbin, the famous Bill Corbin who wrote for MST 3000, I don't believe. Right? That's Bill Corbin, right? Isn't that his name as well? I don't know. Anyway, this is a young man who's probably about the same age as the woman with the camera. And he's wearing a very, how do you describe a plaid shirt that has very big squares on it? I guess I just did. He's wearing a plaid shirt with very, very big squares. some sort of khakis. Uncomfortably large

plaid. It is

and again, not a bad looking kid but definitely

of the time. You know, you have scrapbooks of your children, so this is kind of a computerized way of doing scrapbooks of anything else, right? Yeah, essentially you put a lot of value on your collectibles, why not catalog them?

I noticed that his official title is the FX Pentium Producer, which makes me... think that this is a sponsored segment the conventional way cataloging has been replaced

as with everything by the computer now does this whole system have a name to it uh collector pro collector pro can this be used on any computer system uh right now it runs on dos or windows okay all right and now this is the camera that we talked about earlier that you take these pictures with and again it's down to about seven hundred dollars for the camera yeah this is the apple

quick take they're about 700 and uh as they're becoming more popular coming down in price quickly okay and to take the pictures it costs uh to take a picture on this nothing just costs nothing cost of the camera and then the cost of your time to put it from there to here which is

almost no time at all which again in contrast to just taking a regular photo uh of 10 000 items

would cost you four thousand dollars yeah by the time he loves that man photographing developing you're gonna save a lot of money investing one incidentally how do you get the picture from the camera into the computer essentially you snap a picture uh right here there's a little slot you You open it up, and this plug goes into your computer. You plug it in, and the software that comes with it automatically downloads. That's it? It just goes in automatically like that? It just goes in automatically. You just open up the picture. You hit file, open, and it's that easy. All right, now let's talk more about what we should be putting in there

and what exactly the thing is. They never get into storage space, by the way.

No.

Because you would need to probably buy extra hard drives. Although back then they didn't have external. Well, if they did, they weren't as common as they are now. Like an external hard drive for thousands of photos.

You would have been a great guest for that segment. Yeah, I could have been. Because I can tell you really enjoy the minutiae, which is what they are very hot on.

Yes. And by the way, I cut that very short. Yeah, there's a lot. We're just getting into that.

There's a lot more where that came from.

Oh, boy. So anyway, that was, I don't know where the listeners are with us right now.

They're waiting for dessert.

Okay, let us thank some donors here and get on with today's quiz. Thank you, baby. All right, Veeves, these are the folks, as you well know, who keep TBTL ticking. Without these donors, no TBTL, because I'd have to get some other kind of a job. That's right. And at this point...

You're really not fit for any other work.

Not really fit for any other work. Thank you for saying that.

You're very welcome.

I really appreciate that. And that is why we have to thank people like Matt Hatfield of Media, Pennsylvania. Oh. Hey, we've been talking about media.

Yes.

It's perfect. We actually built today's show all around Matt and his predilections. Gabrielle Joyce also donated to make today's show possible. Gabrielle Joyce is joining us from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Thank you. Beautiful Philly. You love Philly. I love Philly. Last time we visited Philly, the whole plane ride home, you're talking about property values and how we might be able to buy a house in Philly and moving to Philly. I've never seen you so excited to move to a worse weather climate.

I know, but I love Philadelphia so much. And I love the way I love like the neighborhoods that our friends live in. They're so walkable. They have these beautiful townhouses. It's just so gorgeous. And I do love Philly. So to Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah.

Not bad. Donors. Oh, and kind of keeping it in that general area of the country. How about Ohio?

Yeah.

We have Seth Brawlite in, now would you say Lebanon like we said in New Hampshire or Lebanon?

That's a good question.

Is it Lebanon, Ohio or Lebanon, Ohio?

Yeah, I don't know. It's tricky when they have these cities from other parts of the world and they get transposed to American pronunciations.

Anyways, thank you, Seth. And thank you to Erica Lustig in Graham, Washington or Graham, Washington.

You know, I believe lustig means funny in German.

Really? Yeah. Erica, tell me a joke. I'll wait. Kevin Schaefer is in Florence, Colorado. Thank you, Kevin. And Amy Moultre is in Mercer Island, or would you say on Mercer Island, Washington?

Yeah, it feels like, weirdly, you can be in Seattle, but if you're in Mercer Island, it feels like you're underground somehow.

You're on Mercer Island.

Yeah, I think you'd be on an island.

I was looking at something today, I was looking at the bio of another FX host, somebody we'd even get into. I won't get into it now.

Save that for another show.

But actually, no, I will tell you briefly, do you know the name Suzanne Wong, W-H-A-N-G? Apparently she hosted House Hunters for a long time, which was HGTV, I think. Probably. And I never watched that, but I just saw her, and I didn't know that she was a name, just hosting some of these um she was in grand junction colorado with the yardstick guy and i was like who is this because she was like very young and very perky and very kind of flirty with him a little bit this really old this old guy who again looked kind of out of his element and she was really doing her best although she was doing her best to keep the energy up but kind of by interrupting him a lot and not let

him talk I think that she kind of realized that we need to kind of do the heavy lifting on the personality of some of these folks yeah um and so I looked her up and so yeah she she and she was in some show called Las Vegas which I don't know about that I wasn't sure if any of our audience might know who Suzanne Wong is but um anyway I was reading a bio of her an interview with her and she mentioned that she was doing a show in Provincetown and she said it's in Cape Cod yeah that does it struck me as odd my ear weird on the cape or on cape cod yeah i think so but i

you know in the same way that like for whatever reason we don't say we're on seattle that would

be very weird yeah i'm on seattle i'm on seattle all of that is to say amy moltrey is inside mercer island washington and we appreciate her support and we appreciate everybody's support as I find the Top Story intro sound. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Okay, Genevieve, what I'm going to do here with this quiz, and I set this up at the beginning of the show, it's only 10 questions and it's based on movies that you and I watch. These kind of movies that we've seen many times, they're just kind of things that you and I like, very comfort movies for you and I as a couple, I think. What I'm going to do is, oh, that's right, This is such a weird premise. So you and I have noticed a trend in commercials. You and I host, after these messages, podcasts about commercials. And there are at least two commercials we've seen recently that are completely unrelated products. But somebody is holding a banana in it for no apparent reason. There's one for some junk removal company around here. And they show a guy and he's talking on his cell phone. Only without explanation, he's holding a banana to his ear.

For some reason, banana.

Exactly, which I think is our friend Phyllis's profile pic. Whenever she calls me, I see a photo of her with a banana to her ear, which is really funny. Do you remember that bit from Sesame Street, by the way? It's Bert and Ernie.

I think so, yeah.

I think Bert keeps on trying to get Ernie's attention to tell him why you had a banana in your ear, and he's like, I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. Yes. Comedy gold. Comedy gold. I remember seeing that as a kid and being like, these guys are geniuses. Anyway, and there's another one for some weapon that you, I'm not even going to give them any more. Luke and I were talking about it on the show.

Yeah, it's like some personal protection thing that's like dog whistling at all the conservatives. And so this woman holds up a banana and says like, basically she implies that what she's really holding is this non-lethal weapon.

Yeah, I can't tell if they're doing that just to get attention because it makes you go look up what she's talking about or if it's because they don't feel like legally they can show the weapon on television.

Like there's some sort of unspoken element to it, I agree.

So what I've done is I've taken quotes from these specific movies that you and I like. And again, you're pretty familiar with them. I think this is going to be too easy, to be honest with you. But I've taken the quotes and I've replaced one word with the word banana.

It's very similar to a bit that they do on one of my favorite podcasts. It's not really that similar, but one of my favorite podcasts is Blank Check with Griffin and David, also about movies. And at the beginning of every episode, Griffin says a line from the movie they're talking about, but replaces one word with podcast.

Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. That's clever. Yeah. I like that. I need to get into that show. All right. But our listeners should listen to TBTL first.

Yeah.

Then do that.

As we've been saying, you got to eat your vegetables.

I've been struggling with how to do this. So I can just read you the quote that has been adapted with the word banana or bananas, and you can tell me the missing word.

Okay.

But I also recorded a version of a clip from the movie, only I've replaced the word with my voicing bananas. So this first one is super easy. I know you're going to get this because we say it to each other all the time. I don't know why. It's a classic line from a dorky little movie that we like. You've got to tell me. And by the way, I don't know about points on this one. I'll give you points if you can get the word right, get the movie right, give me more information about the scene. Some of these I need you to tell me more about because they're more your movies than mine. This first one, though, is I've invented a pill that gives bananas to ex-girlfriends. Now, I know you know what that is right away, but let's just say that you were struggling with that one. Right. You could say, I want to hear the audio, and you would hear this. I've invented a pill that gives bananas to ex-girlfriends. Okay, do you understand why I'm running so late today? Because I'm doing a lot of stuff like this. I've invented a pill that gives bananas to ex-girlfriends. Okay.

Okay, obviously that is Bruce McAuliffe in Brain Candy, the Kids in the Hall movie. Indeed. And he has invented a pill that gives worms.

Worms to ex-girlfriends.

That's right. Brain candy. Kids in the Hall movie. Bruce McCauley, you got that right. And it is worms.

I was watching, I think I told you, I was watching that documentary, Too Funny to Fail, about the Dana Carvey. Oh, yeah. The Rise and Fall of the Dana Carvey show.

Which lasted one season, I think.

Yeah, so they got eight episodes and then the eighth one, which was like their beloved farewell to this dream that they had. ABC didn't even air it. it just aired an episode a rerun of coach oh my goodness and john mulaney or sorry not john mulaney um uh bill hater um gives the funniest interview in the one of the funniest interviews in the documentary where he's like because he was obsessed with the show as like a young young person obsessed with comedy and he he so he always said his vcr i mean there's that era right he set his vcr to record the dana carvey show and then he came to watch it and it was just an episode of coach and he was like he's like I couldn't believe it I like I thought I must have done something wrong I must have set it up wrong because how could they not air the final episode and he's like but then I watched the episode of coach dauber's at it again

so this scene in brain candy I'm trying to put it in time oh sorry the reason I brought that

up is that there's a photograph of uh robert smigel in that in that documentary and from his early days of right starting to write for lauren michaels productions in snl and who's he sitting next to but like baby bruce mccullough oh really yeah oh in the photo in the photo yeah it's an black and white photo and like bark mckinney's up in the like al frankenstein at the front of the photo it's just like it's an amazing like time capsule so if you haven't seen brain candy like

we've said a couple of times now it's a kids is a hall movie which i like i remember not liking it the first time i saw it i think it's really hard to make the switch from sketch comedy to a full length feature we've seen um the the bob and david folks kind of struggle with that with

ronnie dobs ronnie dobs a flawed experiment is it run ronnie run is that the name of their movie

um but they all have their moments and i actually have really come to really like brain candy i think i was wrong to not like it when i was a teenager and it's about a pharmaceutical company that had a big hit with some kind of pill called tummies and i don't even know what tummies stummies and now they're looking for their next big hit basically yeah and so scientists are kind of

coming in and pitching their new drugs i've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends right and what's positive about that well it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends well could it also give worms to ex-boyfriends this is a drug for the world to give worms to

ex-girlfriends well great well speaking of lauren michaels yeah he's doing his lauren michaels yeah

That's Mark McKinney doing his Lorne Michaels like I've often thought it'd be fun to do like a super cut of all of the people who have worked with or for Lorne Michaels over the years who have done a version of him on screen.

Mike Myers is a big one.

Mike Myers, Jack Donaghy. Yeah. I mean, Dr. You know, Dr. Evil by Mike Myers. Like there's so many because he he's such a he has he's certainly like created a lot of famous people and also like made a huge impression on a lot of famous people.

I'm going to play the audio clue for this next one. OK, because I know you're going to get this either. This is such a dumb quiz because all of the almost all of these lines are things that have become part of our vernacular as a couple. I say that for no reason. I'll just say this is a pill for the world that gives worms to ex-girlfriends. A lot of these are like that. So these are all going to be absolute layups for you or impossible. This next one should be a layup. So I'm not even going to say it out loud. I'll just do the tape. I see salt and pepper. Is there a banana? Okay, I'm going to play that again. I see salt and pepper. Is there a banana? I see salt and pepper. Is there a banana?

Is there a salt substitute?

Is there a salt substitute? What movie is this from?

That, of course, is What About Bob?

This is a dinner scene.

One of my very favorite movies.

Bob is starting to really get on the nerves of Dr. Leo Marvin. He's overstayed his welcome. He was supposed to be gone, but for some reason he's stuck at the vacation home with Dr. Marvin's family, and they're having dinner. And first, Bob is being really annoying by, like, just over-mm-ing. He's eating his food going, mm-mm-mm. In fact, some of that might be on the whole table.

Leo, I see salt and pepper. Is there a salt substitute? I'll get it.

And don't call me Leo. But you said in your office that I could call you Leo. That was in my office. In my home. I'd like you to call me Dr. Moore.

I love that movie so much.

much it is you and i i think it was like one of the if not the first one of the first movies and like sort of cultural touchstones that we really like bonded over and and and realized that we shared the same sense of humor and from every from all accounts the the antagonism between dreyfus and bill murray on set was real and like is oh really partly what you're seeing on screen is that dreyfus does not like murray and murray being in a certain way a little bit of a bob right like a sort of like you know irrepressible and but oblivious and i think they probably have very different um acting styles and processes for getting to their characters but all i can tell you that I wish they'd made a thousand movies together because their energies are so perfectly in conflict. And it's like the best movie about conflict. It's so funny.

It reminds me a little bit about the story about Gene Hackman on Royal Tenenbaums.

On Royal Tenenbaums, right. He didn't really get it, and that's why. And his performance is so different from other... other the other like like the luke wilson the the you know luke and owen wilson and like the way they vibe with okay wes anderson like with as wes anderson's whole thing and i think one of the reasons that's tenenbaums is so successful to me and i think better than some of his more like i guess like precious you know i would say like you know moonrise kingdom being a good example where everybody's sort of like in the world of wes anderson i love the fact that tenenbaums

has gene gene hackman who's not in that world and i i for some reason i i wouldn't say i get them confused but dreyfus and hackman they share a yeah kind of a similar space in my brain it's hard for me to remember one when i'm thinking about the other if that makes sense yeah i mean

hackman god rest his soul but like yeah he he had he took different kinds of roles i mean dreyfus was always more nebbishy you know more like wormy a little bit um you know but i and hackman was more kind of like i feel like a little bit more like of a tough guy but the other surely from the same era of like you know 70s movie stars are and and yeah kind of tough i think i mean they can be i don't think of dreyfus is doing a tough guy yeah i guess not he's always There's like an impotence to him.

That's right, because Hackman is the fighting priest in the Upside Down Boat movie.

Yeah, although it's funny you mention that because who was in the remake of Upside Down Boat movie but Dreyfus.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Playing the same role?

No.

I was going to say, because they're the same generation. That'd be a weird recasting.

No, Kurt Russell is, they recast all of the characters so it's not the same. It's not a priest. It's not a one-to-one. Oh, okay. But the main leader guy is Kurt Russell.

Okay, you're going to know this next one, but will you be able to come up with the name of the movie, I wonder? And this is one that our listeners will be familiar with as well, I think, in a lot of cases. It's a drop from a kind of obscure movie that we play a lot on this show. I'm going to play the audio version here. Banana. It means hello and goodbye. Goodbye. Do you want to hear it again? Banana. It means hello and goodbye.

Goodbye.

I put a lot of work into this. You need to hear them twice.

Yes, I know. Well, I know it's Aloha means hello and goodbye.

Aloha means hello and goodbye. But do you know the name of the movie? Give us the context for when we saw this.

Well, we were watching a lot of Crackle, I feel like.

It wasn't Crackle. It was Impact Television. Oh, I'm sorry.

Pre-Crackle. You'll forgive me for getting those two confused.

Crackle is a streaming network. Impact was a TV station or a network that played very low-budget 80s and maybe 70s and 80s movies and a lot of TNA stuff. A lot of TNA stuff. It was a network for men.

Yeah. And here's where I'm struggling. Was it called Bikini Surf Shop?

You're very, very close.

I feel like the words surf and shop and bikini were all integral.

So you have shop is in there. Bikini is in there. Now we need a location. Give me a location. Malibu Bikini Shop. The Malibu Bikini Shop. Indeedly do. In fact, what can we tell you? It came out in 1986. This just randomly came out. Now, when we say TNA movies, we should mention that this was like a cable network that was not like HBO or whatever. They didn't show nudity. No. But it was just like taking this era of movie.

Yeah. It was kind of horny.

Yeah, just horny movies. And then they would edit them for TV, and they would show them. And let's see here. I'm on the IMDB of Malibu Bikini Shop. I'm looking to see. And there's some real. Looking back, I believe there's some peeping Tom-ness that goes on in this that would be very upsetting to see today, I believe. It doesn't hold up, in other words. I'm looking for a...

I can't believe a movie called Malibu Bikini Shop didn't become an American classic.

I know. I'm trying to find a good description of it. Boy, does IMDb terrible these days. It's really unusable. It is just unusual. I know I've said... Oh, here it is. Oh, maybe I couldn't find it because it's so brief. I was expecting a much longer... Two brothers who have just graduated from college inherit a bikini store from their aunt or aunt.

And scene. If you will.

Hilarity and boobs ensue.

No explanation of what conflict is set up. I think somebody has to do something or the bikini shop closes, right?

Yes, exactly. There's probably got to be some sort of competition. And then there's this guy who's like this, you know, he's an older man and he's a stuffy man. I feel like he's always, you know, there's a parody of this kind of guy in like the Simpsons and stuff.

Aloha means hello and goodbye. Goodbye.

And then he just charges out the door. All right. You ready for another one? Yeah. Okay. This one, I am going to give you the reading on it first before I play for you the audio if you need it. I've never hung on to that part of the banana. You know that part underneath? if i play the audio for you i'm pretty sure you'll get it i wanted to try to make this a

little bit more difficult yeah i bet that's not ringing a bell right now okay now before i play

the audio for you do you want me to do a reading that is more i feel like in the spirit of the performance i've never hung on to that part of the banana you know that part underneath

oh yeah my acting your acting really my acting unlocked something in you yeah it's um it's like somebody who wants to do like an action thing like he wants to he wants to live out some fat fantasy of like like a like a it's not a not a car chase but it's something like that

as soon as you hear the voice you'll know so this is the clue with with the edit I've never hung on to that part of the banana you know that part underneath the thing where it lands

yeah

wow this one's more challenging I thought when you heard the audio you'd know for sure yeah

I know as soon as you say it, it's going to all come back to me. But it's some it's some guy who like who has a fantasy of being in some some like action scene or action adventure. And he and he wants to do it. And I can't remember what it is.

When you hear the longer unedited version, you will know it immediately. I've never never like chased a guy across a crowded city square.

I've never I've never hung on to that part of the helicopter. You know that part underneath the thing where it lands? Do you? Do you know the part? Yes, I know that part. I've never hung on to that. Yes, I know that part.

Alan Arkin. Alan Arkin and Anthony LaPaglia. Yes.

So I Married an Axe Murderer.

So I Married an Axe Murderer.

And he's always, he's dreamed of having like- He's a cop. He's a cop and he wants to be like in a cop movie where he does like adventure-y stuff. But mostly what he has to do is fill out paperwork and report to his very reasonable seeming boss.

Yeah, and his boss is very reasonable and it drives him crazy once he's like, I want you to yell at me. I want you to tell me you're going to take my gun and my badge. I don't know. And then by the end, Alan Arkin kind of does a great performance of being that cranky chief and then says, I don't know. Did I go too far with some of the ethnic slurs? Yeah. All right. Here's another one. Tells him a Paisan. That's right. I know you're going to know this one. I hate how quickly you're going to get this one because I want to play the audio for you. I know he can get the banana. But can he do the banana? I know he can get the banana, but can he do the banana? I know he can get the banana. But can he do the banana? What's it from?

It's obviously from Joe vs. the Volcano. It's our very favorite person, Dan Hedaya, doing the relentless, I know he can get the job, but can he do the job monologue.

Now, I have described this on the show many times. I don't know if Luke has seen this movie or just doesn't remember it or whatever, But I just feel like for folks who haven't seen it, I can't stress enough the amount of time they give Hedaya to spread out here. And it's the very, very beginning of the movie.

And it's the only scene of the movie that he's in. After this scene, we never see him again.

I'm going to play a longer version of it here. So you have Tom Hanks, and he plays a guy who's just like really, really, really depressed, right? And he goes into what must be described as the most depressing work atmosphere ever. It's like this army of just dreary-looking workers showing up to work.

For the artificial testicle factory.

That's right. And then he opens up the door to go into work. I think it's subterranean, right? It's in the basement. You will hear in this tape.

Which is, I can't play the whole thing for you It's so funny You're seeing images of him, Joe Kind of like he goes to hang up his hat On the coat rack When the coat rack breaks And he's just like And he goes to pour himself some coffee In like a shitty, shitty styrofoam cup And there's like nothing in there Or it's mud or whatever And he's just like taking off his overcoat And just showing up for work And the whole time in the background You hear the boss in this argument.

I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? Harry. Yeah, Harry, but can he do the job? I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you, Harry. Harry. Yeah, Harry, but can he do the job? I know he can get the job. But can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. Harry, I am not arguing that with you. Who said that? I didn't say that. If I said that, I would have been wrong. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not arguing that with you. Yeah, Harry. I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?

I'm not arguing that. This goes on for another 30 seconds. We listened to about a minute 15 of that.

It's such a brave choice, honestly.

And it really drives home just the miserableness of the situation. It's so powerful. The misery, I should say.

It's so well executed. It's so, to give, I mean, they basically give Dan Hedai like four things he can say in that call.

In whatever order.

In any order. He can say them in any order, but he just can only say those four things. And he brings a different spin to each one. Each one is more irritating than the last. he's like nobody nobody delivers on like just grimy unlikability the way dan hedaya does you know and i mean like he's in you know um he is he's been in a million things he's just a real that guy obviously but he's so good in um uh mulholland drive yeah he plays one of the like mobsters who's like determined who's like telling Justin Theroux what he can and can't do in his movie and he's so threatening and he almost says nothing he's like he has I he has like virtually

no lines but he's incredible is he in blood simple or am I just confusing him with with Walsh whatever that guy's name I can't remember okay this next one I'm very interested to know whether or not you will get this I'm gonna start by doing my reading of it which is going to be difficult because there's a tough word to say in this and you know how i am with words your work is bananas and under dramatized you lack any sense of structure character and the aristotelian unities your work is bananas and under dramatized you know it without hearing

the tape oh i sure do i i feel like the word that you're replacing is um is it banal see that oh

I forgot, that is the tough part, right? You know the movie, you know the scene, but in this case, it's a tough word to know. It's not banal.

It's not banal. Your work is...

Just because I made the time to do it, let's take it.

Is it tedious?

Here, it's not tedious. I'll play the clue for you before we play the whole thing.

Your work is bananas. And under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities.

This is one of your favorite movies. My favorite movies. And certainly your favorite sequel, Adam's Family Values. Yep.

it's wednesday it's wednesday she's telling um gary uh gary granger uh played by peter uh oh gosh what's his name uh i can't think of his last name but he's he was an alley mcbill he's been a million things um she's telling he wants to do his terrible play um a turkey named brotherhood which is about the first thanksgiving peter mcnichael um she he has written the most racist play ever put on paper called a turkey named brotherhood for a kid's

camp for a kid's camp he's the counselor the adult and um and wednesday is drafted to play the

the native person uh and she pocahontas right i think so which who was like nowhere near the thanksgiving of course um and she and he tells Thank you.

And so she gives him the bullet on his play, which is that it is, your work is, it's not banal, it's not tedious, it's.

Your work is pure, is it puerile?

Puerile! Oh, I got there. You got there, here's the whole thing.

I don't want to be in the pageant.

Don't you want to help me realize my vision?

Your work is puerile and underdramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities.

I had to say Aristotelian for that clue, Genevieve. You can hear me being very careful with that sentence

That's such a great movie

Alright, I think this one is going to be another toughie for you I'm hoping, because it's more fun that way The quote is this Well, the entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of bananas

I love this movie

You know it? You know it already?

How many movies are about getting kicked off with it being about a closet?

You know what, I probably should have replaced the word closet, honestly

The entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of bananas.

What movie is it? It's Overboard. It is Overboard.

And the entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of cedar.

Cedar indeed. This is here. I'll play the whole thing.

I wanted cedar.

You may have wanted cedar, but you didn't ask for cedar.

Well, the entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of cedar.

He made her this amazing closet, but he made it out of oak. It had some sort of crank where shoes could come in from the back. It's incredible. You love that movie. I love that movie.

I feel like it is.

It's about human slavery.

It is about sort of an enslavement. But she's really. It's going to be a bit of a problem. But she's really mean at the beginning. So you don't feel super bad.

Right.

And they really soft pedal like when they start having sex, it's consensual. So they try to be careful. Also, it's Kurt and Goldie. Like, come on.

Is this where they met?

I think this is where they met.

Yeah, they have chemistry.

I mean, the chemistry is like absolutely off the charts, leaping off the screen. I just can't be mad at Overboard. I'm sorry.

Okay, how about this one? I have no idea whether or not you'll get this one for real. Because I'm less familiar with this movie than you are. It's also shorty. So I'm going to start by just reading it.

Okay.

I'm not a banana. You can't just order it.

Oh, of course I love it.

Is that as iconic of a line as it seemed?

I think about that line all the time.

Really?

Yeah. I am not a banana. You can't just order me. I've always wanted to use that line on somebody. But unfortunately, nobody who would order me can be told that they cannot order me. So unfortunately, I am just steak.

You are correct. The word we replace with steak. What movie is it from? Of course it's working, girl. And why do you love that movie so much?

Oh, when she gets her own office, I always cry.

You cry at the end.

I always cry at the end. But I love everything about that movie.

So it starts, it's a real go-go 80s movie. And it's about a young woman who accepts a job. Or a woman, I guess, in her, yeah, probably like 20s, right?

Yeah, she's pretty young. And in fact, she has a birthday in the movie. I think she's, they say how old she is, but she's like late 20s.

Late 20s. And so she accepts a job, but she thinks she's going to be one of the people working in like the cubicle area. But they're like, no, no, your office is there. And there's some mistake that gets her into the corner office while the real boss is like held up with a broken leg from a skiing accident.

You're conflating 10 different things. And the plot of the movie is that she she's kind of on her last. She she's really good. She went to night school. She's a striver. She's a bridge and tunnel girl. But she's a real striver. She's smart. She's always thinking about business ideas. but because she doesn't have the fancy degree and because she's a you know she's a hottie she keeps getting kind of railroaded into these like secretarial or clerical positions and being taken advantage of kevin spacey tries to rape her um so there's like she she kind of like burns all her bridges with the in these like in this finance sector and like wall street and she gets one more chance olympia dukakis is her uh placement like person who like she goes to like these jobs it's like back then they would go to like a a job placement company and they would put you somewhere so she gets put with um being the secretary to sigourney weaver and at first she thinks it's gonna be awesome that this woman's gonna mentor her and she's gonna be like you know partners and maybe have a shot at a more like significant job like a real like a job in business mergers and acquisitions at petty marsh is her job or is to her company but then but then she finds out that not only is Scorning Weaver a real pill, but she is stealing her ideas. And then fortune hands her this opportunity to do a deal while Scorning Weaver is out of the office with a broken leg stuck somewhere in Colorado. So she...

does this she she can I just interrupt for one second though because I'm very confused I was

grabbing this tape today and I saw the scene where she sits herself down in a cubicle and she's ready to get to work on her first day of work and another woman comes and says oh that hasn't

happened that's at the very end that's why you're conflating two different things oh so at the very so anyway she gets away or you know like it all comes crashing down but then she's able to prove to the big boss that it was her idea and that Scorny Weaver stole her idea. So then the big boss says, or it's not really the boss, he's like their client. The client says, hey, like, clearly you can't work at this company anymore because you did an identity fraud. But if you are really hungry and you want to come, like, you can come work for my company, my media company. And so she shows, but this is what's hilarious is like she never clear apparently like never clarifies with anybody like what is her job title what is her salary what will she be doing in this job so she just takes it she just takes it and then she shows up for work the you know the next day at this new company and because she's been her secretary all of her working life she just she sees a woman sitting on in in the office with her feet up on the phone which remember she stole the identity of and like or stole basically the job of this woman and like used her office but she sees a woman sitting in this office she assumes okay that's who I must be working for again how would you not know who your boss was going to be but she sits down outside the office and starts unpacking her stuff and then the woman comes out of the office and was like oh I'm embarrassed like I didn't know you were going to be here yet i'm this is my desk and there's like a whole thing where she's like oh but i thought i was a secretary and like no no i'm the secretary so then they trade places and she goes into her new office and she's a businesswoman and you cry

i could okay my apologies for interrupting because i could have sworn when i was i was scrolling through that movie looking for quotes and i thought that i saw near the beginning of the movie that she sat down on the wrong desk well you're saying that's the very final scene why would i be scrubbing through the final scene though that doesn't make sense but anyway apologies for interrupting but we do have to move on here we only have two more to go then we got to get out of here and get the show posted i'm probably already getting emails in my inbox about where the tbtl is today we usually try to get it posted before now we're still recording all right here's one more um you're gonna get this we're just talking about this recently i'm afraid how many times do i have to tell you i'm not depressed i just need bananas you're such a hater of this movie but i love it i used to no okay let's talk about this movie for a second then we'll tell everybody what it i'm not depressed i just need space i just need space you're absolutely right this is a movie that when i first met you you were living with two other women or maybe three other women at the time and i had heard from them teasing you to your face in front of me about this movie because you liked this movie and they all thought it was a bad movie and then I sat down to watch it with you and I enjoyed it because I like this kind of movie with you and Charles Grodin is incredible and it's Charles Grodin he's the one who has that line this is me and him doing it together how many times do I have to tell you I'm not depressed I just need bananas and what he needs is space he's saying that to his wife but all that is to say you would always say oh you make fun of me for liking this movie and I never did make fun of you for liking the movie it was your evil roommates who made fun of you and of course our dear friends who made fun of you it wasn't until the most recent re-watching that i started to turn on it and now i'm agreeing with your roommates i actually think dan oh so the movie is the couch trip and i another stolen

identity movie very similar actually structurally to um working girl and i think my problem with it

is the Dan Aykroyd-ness. The last time I watched it, I realized, oh, he's trying so hard to be like Fletch in this movie, but he can't do that. He's Dan Aykroyd.

He's not, yeah, he's Dan Aykroyd. He, you know, whatever Chevy Chase's personal deficits might be, he's really, he is good at, like, the sort of bitty stuff that he does as Fletch. i think akroyd's fine in the couch trip i think like he and walter matthew have a pretty good chemistry but the star the best part of the movie is the second movie there's like the a plot which is dan akroyd is passing himself off as a psychiatrist in order to like make a big score of money and get away because he's being chased by the cops secondarily in a separate part of like the world i think in france or something we have charles grodin who is the guy who's he's so good and he's just like yeah

He's just Grodin-ing it up. He's just so down and depressed, and nobody makes depression seem funnier than Charles Grodin.

Do you know, I think you watched it with me. It was a movie that Luke had told me about. I'm trying to remember why this came into our life. But it was a movie that Luke had remembered some very specific details about from his youth, and he wanted to know if he was right about it. So later that night, I found the movie. I think I actually bought it. And watched it with you, and it's the Steve Martin movie, and the scene that Luke remembered was when he put on a cologne that smells like sweat so he could trick people into thinking that he was actually kind of an athletic guy who goes on jogs or whatever. Okay. And that also has Charles Grodin. Oh, it's the lonely guy. It's called The Lonely Guy, right?

Oh, we watched this not too... Yeah, we watched it because of this. Oh, is that why we watched it? Yeah, okay.

And I remember we had pizza or something, and we watched it, And Luke was absolutely right about that, about that particular scene, about the fake sweat or whatever. But also, I use this. This is Charles Grodin again.

I wouldn't say it's an especially watchable movie.

It's got its moments, though. It's got its moments. It doesn't know its voice very well. It's slapstick. It sometimes breaks the fourth wall. It's very uneven. But this is another depressed Charles Grodin sitting next to Steve Martin on a bench talking about naps.

Court of the four. gonna take a nap or something i don't like to take naps i don't like to wake up more than once a day because when i first wake up i get that shock of who i am and everything i really don't like to do

that more than once a day you're right when you say he plays depressed so well he really really

does oh god another one rest in peace god charles broden it's just so good you know he's he's has a tiny role in um and and kills it in um so i married an axe murderer oh yeah of course he's his car is taken by the cop anthony lapaglia says like i've got a i want to commandeer your vehicle

and he just goes no that's right he is so good at everything he's really good and i want to say midnight express which is the wrong movie but um midnight run midnight run oh my god these things go down it's so good we need to re-watch that because you and i had not seen that and ever right and we watched it for the first time yeah i watched it for the first time not that long ago so good we were blown away it's de niro and a comedy it's so i guess you'll go on to do later

so good yeah midnight run is like flawless okay um last one here and we really do have to get

out of here so this is the last one and i'm counting on you having no idea okay good i'm

really i already screwed it up with um uh so i married an axe murderer oh that's right the

banana hanging from the bottom of the banana.

I knew, like, I could picture, I knew, like, the vibe of it, but I just couldn't, if I could have just remembered that it's Anthony LaPod.

What I thought was funny was even when I played the clue for you where you could hear his voice, you didn't get it until I played the full one and it just starts a second earlier and then I saw your eyes light up. There was something about hearing the very... I've never, I've never, like, chased a guy across a crowded city square. That was the only part you didn't hear. It's the way he says guy. The guy. Okay. Okay, all right, so this next one, I'm going to start with a read on it. Where has your head been lately? Did you have a hard banana last night?

Sounds familiar.

Really? Okay, where has your head been lately? Did you have a hard banana last night? I'll say right now, it's not dirty.

It's not dirty. Yeah, maybe if I heard the real clip.

Okay, here we go.

Where has your head been lately?

did you have a hard banana last night that's gonna give you nothing more yeah it's um

is it this is a hail mary is there any chance that's um don't tell mom the babysitter's dead no but that's another one kind of like working girl yeah yeah uh very gosh i feel like i'm a

A theme emerges. Another person who's doing work and actually doing real work, but pretending that she's somebody else or at a higher level in her company. She's a high school student, right? Or maybe recent high school. I think high school, yeah. Yeah, she is. She's in high school. All right. I'll play. Do you want me to play you the full answer here? Sure. You still won't know the movie, though.

Hutch, have you heard a thing I've said?

You're laughing.

Well, you gave it away. With the word Hutch? Where has your head been lately? Did you have a hard sleep last night?

No, it was easy. He had an easy sleep.

Genevieve Hutch had an easy sleep. Being comparable, Swoozie Kurtz.

movie talking to uh steven weber steven weber uh in sleep easy hutch rhymes i did not realize

i mean of course there's no i don't remember one line no you and i watched this movie once i think in a hotel room it just came on we became obsessed with it and we're like oh swoozy kurt steven weber it's so bad yeah we now have it on dvd because i believe i got it for you for your birthday or probably an anniversary which is even more embarrassing or something i don't even know if we have a dvd player that we can play it on did i say cd we have it on dvd i should say and it's called sleep easy hutch rhymes it's like a really bad very cheaply made sort of

kind of kind of noir it's a detective uh or it's a mystery but there's like a lot of betrayal and some murder i think it has kind of a dark ending if i'm recalling correctly i think somebody woman who wants to kill her husband yeah so it's like that's got that noir element to it i feel like spoiler alert the ending ends with somebody in a boat like drowning underwater like in a stuck

in a boat that sinks the um it doesn't even have like a real synopsis on imdb it just says an insurance company owner becomes embroiled in a murder plot so that's not as basic as you can yeah that's oh and by the way it was the only one because some of these i was looking for help i was looking going to imdb quotes i typed in sleep easy hutch rhyme quotes and she said we have no quotes yeah it said if you have any you'd like to add sure add them here and i was like that's not how this works that's not can you imagine running some sort of a media thing where most of your content comes from your audience that for shame for shame who would ever who would do that genevieve i forgot to take notes of what points you were earning but you got a lot of those right you got a couple of them wrong how does like i don't know 7500 points sound great you're good well congratulations you got 7500 points i don't feel like this was my best job hosting a show but it is one of the more fun shows i've done in a while thank you for doing it with me thanks for letting me guest host absolutely i'm sorry to uh make you work on this day of service well i consider this to be public service that is a good point that is a good point you you saved the show today thank you for listening everybody sorry for posting the show a little bit later than usual but i hope it finds you well uh we don't know luke's status to be honest with you um again i don't think you have to worry about him maybe i should have said that at the beginning of the show i think he just has a cold or something and it's making it or you know like a flu or something and it's making him uh unable to talk which is really critical in in this job of ours so hopefully he will be back tomorrow if not i don't know i'll find a genevieve or a genevieve alike to do this Maybe we'll just roll back the quiz. You'll do even better tomorrow, Genevieve.

Oh, I'm going to absolutely kill it tomorrow.

Yeah, so tonight, don't sleep hard. Sleep easy, Genevieve Rimes. In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day. We'll talk to you tomorrow. Please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all.

I just realized now it would have been funny if you had said, good luck to bananas.

Power out.