Muse

This is what I think it'd be like to go out to dinner with Timothee Chalamet. I'm having the worst deja vu of my life. The night ends abruptly when he tells me he can take any criticism. So I say, okay, I didn't really like Wonka that much. He says, I'm not understanding it as a reflection of our culture and its larger place in the Wonka universe.

TBTL. I don't know what it is, but as soon as you bring some carbs or some bread into the room, especially if they like hot out the oven and buttery, I just turn into a monster. You have never seen somebody f**k up a piece of garlic bread until you've seen me f**k up a piece of garlic bread. You will lose any bit of respect you ever have for me.

I hear the words you're saying, and I believe you believe it's important.

Laughter, a sure sign of a good time.

No, definitely. Yeah. Literally, no. Yeah. Yeah. No. For sure.

between your no-nonsense approach and my the regular amount of nonsense approach we make a

pretty good team all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live my name is luke burbank i am your host still audio droplets but um undeterred and undefeated here on this wednesday morning Although I did just come back into the hotel room and noticed that the very nice person—I'm in Los Angeles, by the way, I'll mention once again. That's why I don't have my little audio drops, because I left my special recording and playing equipment back in Portland. So we're just kind of—we're using an improvised system down here. Came back in the hotel room and noticed that they had made the room up, which is very nice. I always appreciate that. And I think there's a handwritten note from, there's a post-it note on the pillow that I'm only now noticing. Hold on, we have music going. Just everyone give me, give me five seconds. I got to see what this post-it note on my pillow is. Oh, okay. It's a phone number. No, it's not. That would be quite ludicrous. You know what? Let me get somebody on the line that can help me interpret this whole note situation. By the way, we're at episode 4,661 in a collector series. The guy I want to introduce you to right now is the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Hello, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I'm actually very in the mood for whatever this mystery note is because I was just doing something very abnormal for me. For real, this will not take us off track. We will get to this note in a second, but I found myself clicking around on this weird program I have.

Thing called the Dark Web.

Called the Dark Web. No, I really do have something. I think, I'm not going to name him. I think one of our listeners set me up with something called Flashpoint a long, long, long time ago, which is like some sort of a game thing on my computer that has all these Flash games on it because I play that game Hex Empire. Sorry, this is getting out of control. I like that game Hex Empire. I used to play it online. It's a Flash-based game. Something happened to the internet about five years ago, and the internet said we're not going to do Flash anymore. So one of our dear listeners sent me this kind of game that has like hundreds, if not thousands of games on it. and you download it quickly but they're all those like old-fashioned like flash based games and so i have this on my computer and while i was waiting for you to dial because we have kind of a strange schedule today i was just clicking randomly on it i never do that luke i never do that i just like i don't know what's this game and i just click on it randomly and it ended up being coincidentally an escape room style game it was called oh my goodness game and so you're just in this cube very basic graphics but kind of beautiful with some nice piano music playing and it's basically like you've got to just keep clicking everywhere until you uncover clues and keys and then keys unlock different things and then you find things that help you advance and you kind of, it's like basically

Basically, an escape room. Totally coincidental that I'm going to an escape room next month. More on that later, I'm sure. But you telling me that you just came into this little room and you found a mysterious note on your pillow. That's where I'm going with this. On my pillow. This is like, it's literally the type of thing that would be in one of these games I was just playing.

Well, I've now retrieved the note. And it is a handwritten post-it note. And it says, hello, my name is Kenya. hand-drawn smiley face, and I cleaned your room today. Okay. If you liked my service, you can scan the code and give me a positive review. Thank you very much. Have a nice day.

Okay. Now, are you going to scan it? Is there also a way to tip? Is this the modern way of tipping in hotels, which would be kind of cool, honestly?

Now, this is the thing. Let me just tell you. Kenya did a phenomenal job in this hotel room that I'm in. it is i can tell that it wasn't just a quick uh you know let's fluff up the pillows and remake the bed it looks like the carpet i mean i threw a wild rager here last night so that's part of it i mean it was like i'm kind of surprised they didn't kick me out of the hotel but no i mean uh it's it's the the room is spotless it's lovely you know that's one of the best feelings ever is coming back to the hotel room having it all straightened up the thing is uh i did also leave a cash tip before i left so i don't know if just kenya puts this in every room or kenya is trying to double dip i don't kenya's already got a saw buck from me wait is five dollars a saw buck i don't know

what a saw buck is but it definitely sounds like it's from the old western days uh i did is five

dollars that's not even a good tip anymore is it i'm from the era where i think five dollars is kind of a lot because it's not a one dollar but actually i mean how far is five dollars going to really get you in this day and age i mean i've got to keep up with inflation i five is definitely

the lowest i would go but i'm still lowest you would go in this day and age yeah not not not my entire life but in 2026 yeah i do five dollars a night if possible does that seem excessive lowest you would go i'm not trying to be i'm not trying to be you know i think that you and i are both you know we both try to be generous tippers i think we're about probably on par with this stuff i would guess i don't know i don't know what you're splashing around i don't know what you're

splashing around that room honestly to me five is ideal where i get really stressed is when the low the smallest thing i have is a 10 or a 20 because i think it was maybe john hodgman who wrote in a book or wrote on the internet the internet is just like a bunch of books put together in my experience something like if you are reaching into your wallet um when you are um you know tipping the housekeeping folks and all you have is a 20 just put down the 20 just tip the 20 it's gonna be fine and you can afford it and you will not regret it and i know that is

the opposite by the way i just want to exactly just to cover our bases i don't know i've never read this anywhere before, but in the past you have also credited that to Paul F. Tompkins. So, might be one of those guys. Just to cover your bases.

Paul F. Tompkins is just a collection of a bunch of John Hodgmans.

Don't tell Paul F. Tompkins that.

No, he'd be flattered that he'd be insulted if a John Hodgman was just a collection of Paul F. Tompkins. In this Voltron that I've now described, Paul F. Tompkins is the full it takes many Hodgmans to make an F. Tompkins.

I heard, and I don't think they were spoofing, somebody referenced on the show Scott Hasn't Seen with Scott Aukerman, one of his dear friends, of course, and podcast partner in a lot of ways. Somebody mentioned briefly, like in passing, that Paul F. Tompkins' dad was like a costume guy for the pictures or the stage. Did you know this? Because that would kind of make sense when you think about how he's kind of got a nice sense of style and seems to pride himself on it yeah i know he grew up in philadelphia so

my guess would be if his dad was working in in something like that maybe it was for you know the theatrical as in as in the stage like you said maybe in philly maybe heading up to new york i would be surprised to hear that it was out here in la la land sure but um that would but that would also make sense uh as far as yeah like uh paul f thompkins being quite the dapper yeah quite the Dapper Dan also um the other when I was flying down here the other morning I had my laptop out I was doing some work I was getting ready for the day Monday morning and as I was typing away on my laptop what do you think emerged from under one of my keys a piece of glitter this is glitter that is still yeah still occasionally emerging from

computer from the time that I popped not one but two really large really glitter filled balloons over Paul F. Tompkins or it may have been a collection of Hodgman it may have been three Hodgmans in a trench coat I don't know sure but I it was he took it really well Paul did he was very nice about it but every time that a piece of and my this laptop that I'm using happened to be on stage with me while I was doing live wire and every time to this day a piece of glitter just like weirdly surfaces from under one of the keys on my computer i am reminded of what a kind of basically like that that could have gone either way i could have seen paul the guy who always has very nice suits on is very put together being like how dare you drench me because what i mean what i know is he's also finding glitter on himself every time he puts on one of those outfits

Yeah, in himself, maybe. I mean, you just don't know with that glitter. Out of himself. It gets every, you blow your nose. What did you think, by the way, I don't know, it's day three, can we go back to Super Bowl commercials? What did you think of the Liquid IV commercial? Did you catch that one?

I did, but remind me of the beginning of it.

It was a bunch of singing toilets, and they were all singing, take a look at me now, and you're like, what's going on with this?

Because if your pee is yellow, it means you're not hydrated enough.

At the very end, it said, look at your toilet if your pee is yellow, hydrate, liquid IV. I'm not a huge fan of the name liquid IV, as you know, because all IVs are liquid. But I thought it was a really clever ad. As somebody who doesn't usually go in for toilet humor either.

Right. Yeah, you know, that did the beginning, the singing toilet thing. I thought, who knows, is this a bidet commercial? What are we doing here? But yeah, it was for liquid IV. I thought it was, it's funny that you would have had a higher sort of review, if you will. You were more down with the toilet commercial than I was, because I'm the one on the show. I'm the bad boy of public radio. I'm the one who's into toilets and scatological stuff and bidets. Exactly, like Elvis Stoico. Just trying to keep it related to the Winter Olympics. Elvis Stoico was an ice skater.

I turned on the I turned on the TV yesterday Because I saw people talking about the Olympics Now we are not an Olympics household I don't really care about them Genevieve actively dislikes the Olympic organization And thinks it's rotten to the core But I saw somebody Tweeting about something about the Olympics and I'm like oh Genevieve Got us that antenna I can just like Turn on the Olympics right now Just like old fashioned over the air NBC Olympics time and I never do this, but I just turned it on and they were skiing and Genevieve heard it from the other room and she said, what are you doing? I'm like, oh, I just turned on the Olympics and I said, because we have an antenna now and she said, if I had known you were going to watch the Olympics with it, I wouldn't have gotten you that antenna but then she kind of started watching some of the

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun Now, here's so much to talk to you, first of all or talk about Andrew, first of all I've QR code into the code, the link that Kenya was talking about. So I've got some more details on what happens over at this link. But I was going to ask, is Genevieve, first of all, Genevieve is absolutely right that historically the Olympics have been an extremely corrupt organization. All kinds of, I mean, just graft and corruption and favor trading and what do we call that now? uh, the presidency. Um, but like, you know, they really, they really kind of, um, were leading the charge on that a while ago. And so it's, it's makes perfect sense that Genevieve would be down on the Olympics, but she also hails from Atlanta where the Olympics were happening when there was that, that terrible explosion and where Richard Jewell was famously, now we know, uh, accused of a crime he did not commit. Um, is that related to Genevieve's feelings about the Olympics or just a coincidence she's also got an Atlanta connection I don't think it has anything to

do with Atlanta I think it just has to do with just the the organization itself I mean she must not have an interest in the sport I don't know when that happened or the sports I should say the games they call it the games Luke she must just not have much of an interest in it as entertainment anyway because it was never like oh I would love to watch this ice dancing but I just don't want to support it with my eyeball right i don't think it's that so she's just turned off by the whole thing but i think the driving thing is is just the intense corruption of that organization

see it really depends on where i'm at in my particular moment of life with me and the olympics or an olympics so years ago when i didn't have this tv job and i was like you know married and had a more traditional, I guess you could say,

say schedule and home life, et cetera. There were certainly a number of Olympics is that I kind of got into because it's like, I, what else are you going to watch in the wind on a cold winter's night? And you start early. Like if you start off watching, you know, in the early parts of, you start to kind of know who the folks are. It is very, you know, they, you know, the way that NBC does it, they, they, they make it extremely digestible to you as a narrative. You know, they take this person who's really good at the biathlon or the, you know, ice skating or something. And then they tell you all this interesting stuff about their backstory. They, they tug at your heartstrings. It's like a real Lay's potato chips commercial kind of situation.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a real universal studios in Orlando situation.

And then, and then listen, you have your commercials. You like, I have my commercials. I like, but it does, it does work on me though in particularly the winter Olympics, less so the summer olympics because it's actually nice out and i am and also the mariners so i'm probably doing some stuff i'm probably going i'm i'm not able to get locked in but there have been a couple of winter olympics where i just started watching early and then i started to become interested in who the people were also i literally it comes down to like i was in a relationship where we watched tv at night you know what i mean like and that's fun i like i i always i don't know

if envy is the right word because we have our own things but like i always appreciate people who get into the olympics and their families get in the olympics and they know all the characters and like i don't i i always that always gives me a nice warm feeling i just never happen to get into it myself but like that seems very nice i know i i miss it a little bit because again this is this

is the thing about nostalgia that's where it's a little bit hard to kind of i guess uh untangle what it is that I miss about it. Do I miss watching Brian Boitano? I was like eight when Brian Boitano was skating. It's like, do I actually miss the Olympics? Do I miss watching the Winter Olympics because of the Winter Olympics? Or do I miss a time in my life where I was 15 to 20 years younger, where I had a life that felt both stable in that I went and I worked at an office somewhere, probably a radio station or, you know, something like that, and then came home and then had dinner with my wife at the time or girlfriend at the time, and then sat down together to watch this thing. Do I miss that? Do I just miss that kind of sense of, I guess, normalcy and predictability in my life, whereas that's just not really what my life looks like at this exact moment of time. I'm not sure what I miss about it, but I do miss it for some reason.

You know, you've got to be careful doing what I'm about to describe, but now that we are of an age where we can look back at those distinct eras of our life, and in the moment, you don't realize it's an era, right? I just saw a meme the other day, Luke. You know what memes are. It was like a gif from—

It's something you can kill people with.

What's that? Can you? What?

He can kill us with his memes.

Oh, right. Does he say that? Wow, that's darker than I remember, but yeah

Maybe destroy, he uses a word, maybe not kill

Maybe destroy, yeah, yeah He's very, it's a

He really sees a meme war It's a meme war It's a pretty, I don't know, why don't we listen to it?

Yeah, I'm looking for it here

Destroy us, he can destroy us with his memes By the way, I don't mean to interrupt at all And I'm sorry I'm distracting us or sidetracking us But that guy, the dad Who's got all the memes, got every meme in the book He feels to me like he is the brother of the dad from those Gillette commercials I don't like?

Oh. He's the, wait, the Gillette commercials are a dad and a son, right?

A dad and a son. I'm saying he's that dad's brother.

Oh, I see.

He's the uncle of the son in the Gillette. He's not exactly the dad from the Gillette commercials, but he's a lot like him.

Like he's got some energy, but it's...

Hey, this isn't this, hey, this isn't how you're supposed to shave, like kind of guy.

I can have a meme war with anybody and destroy him. Destroy him. And I've done it. And people actually bail at the end and go, who is this guy? He's got like every meme ever produced on the internet. He can knock us out with his memes. And I do. I have tons of memes. I'll just keep memeing them to death until they just surrender. To death. Because they just can't do it anymore. They don't have the memes that I have. I have a folder on my computer just full of memes. And I can just go to that folder and open it up. And here they are. There's all my memes. And I started to, you know, alphabetize my memes so I can find them more quickly. I realize not having them alphabetized was a problem for me. You know, if you have, you know, weapons, you have to be able to get to them. You have to know where they are, which ones are where they are. So, I mean, I alphabetize them so I can get to them quickly.

So I saw a meme the other day, now that we're all on the same page with this, and it showed the guy from The Office who likes to sing a lot. I'm blanking on his name. Craig Robinson? No, he's the guy who does a cappella singing. Oh. ed helms yes thank you for bailing me out there because i was gonna have to play the ed helms tape we have of him singing tummy boo boo real bad we just get deeper and deeper at this but um anyway it was it was like a black and white image of him from the office i believe and he was saying i wish you knew you were in the good times before they were over or something like that it seemed like a very very poignant sort of thing is the sense that his character on the office also said that yeah i think it was from the office i i think because you know he was he could get wistful like he's a bit of a dummy but he was not like without without emotion i think i wasn't a huge office head especially maybe around the ed helms years but um yeah i think that he was like feeling very wistful about something he had like a little tear in his eye and he's like i wish you knew that they were you were in the good times before they were over or something like that and anyway this isn't really about good times but it is about this idea that there are eras of our life that we can look back on and you don't kind of know what the signifiers or triggers are going to be in the future that will remind you of this time it might be a song or a smell or something but the thing is because I'm so conscientious of that now and because as Genevieve likes to say my favorite drug is nostalgia, but it's got a lot of competition. I've been thinking about this home reno project that is going on right now. I don't know if you can hear the saws and the hammering or whatever, but it's way in the background. But the house has a very different smell right now because of the tearing out of a lot of drywall. And I was unfamiliar with this smell as a man who has avoided work sites his entire life. And so I don't know if this is a common smell or it's something that we're smelling that is kind of part of the bones of our house that are being exposed and it's not a bad smell it's like a it's like a powdery smell sort of which makes me think it has to do with the drywall or the sheetrock or whatever but all that is to say i can't help but think that this is a very specific time in my life right now kind of that the the transition of this part of the house is probably going to go on for a couple of months and i have a feeling if i ever smell anything that even comes close to this again i will be transported to this moment and i don't know if that's a bad thing or not because you want to live in the moment but sometimes it's nice to think hey you're gonna look back at this moment someday you know have a have the right attitude now so that you don't you're feeling soil it pre-stalgic spoiler I'm pre-st look out nostalgia you got some competition now I got pre-stalgia

it's called pre-stalgia this is actually this is deep dude because yeah what you're what you're basically saying is I know that this is something I'm going to remember later so let's make the I I mean, you're making an interesting argument for living in the present because of the fact that someday you won't be living in the present, at least for a moment. You'll smell that smell of drywall being ripped out or whatever it is, you know, and then it'll take you back to this time. So you want to make sure that when you go back to this time, you have a good feeling.

Yeah. And not that I'm not that I'm battling away any bad feelings or anything, but it's just sort of a it's sort of just a good reminder about how you look back at yourself. I mean, this is getting a little bit deep, but my biggest demon in life or my biggest demons are represented by this feeling I have of me not, I was going to say rise to the moment, but that makes it sound more dramatic as if it's a big moment. But I mean in like small moments. You know me, Luke. I'm a bit of a weird guy when it comes to some social interactions. I'm even thinking right now, I'm not going to give any details, about a friend of mine who I kind of saw recently and I just felt like I just didn't – I wasn't feeling it in the moment and I wasn't giving them probably what they needed in the moment. It's not a big deal, but just vibes wise. And I kind of hate that about myself. I'm just like, why can't you just like kind of fake it till you make it just a little bit, you know, just like just be the guy that you see other people being at times. Like, could you just could just do that? Could you do the bare the bare minimum of making somebody feel welcome or, you know, warm or whatever? And so my the demons I fight the most are always the ones of just like, why did I react that way? Why did I do that? And it doesn't have to be a big thing. It can just be a very, very small thing that literally nobody else in the world even knows about. So I'm just, you know, it's just kind of a reminder that I'm going to be looking back at these moments. So for the sake of future Andy, try to make him right.

Yeah, you're setting up future Andy to maybe have slightly less of a wince when he returns to the moment that you're currently in.

One of these.

Yeah, one of those sharp inhalations. Believe me, I've got a few of those myself. I mean, I probably have the same number that you have, but that's just not how my brain works. kind of reviews the information and so it takes a takes some real bad ones for me to have that but i know that feeling it's like the ones the ones that give me that feeling could end you

andrew could have you that's too powerful have you walking into a river with rocks in your pocket i

can't take that yeah because you're doing that over just like a brief interaction and i'm i'm doing it over uh you know things that are let's just say uh we're noted by everybody involved that were not particularly appreciated. If we can, for a moment, return to your friend and mine, the person in charge of doing the housekeeping in this room, Kenya. So I scanned the QR code. So there was a little business card that was attached to the Post-it note. And it says, we hope your stay was a memorable one. Scan the QR code to share your experience on TripAdvisor. So I scanned the QR code And it just takes me to TripAdvisor just asking me. But it's not a review of Kenya. It's just a review of the hotel, which is a hotel called the Hollywood Grand Autograph Collection. Oh, this was I think I told you about this on the air. This is kind of my my new go to spot when I'm down here in L.A. One, because CBS has agreed to pay for this hotel, which is the critical. That's the main KPI of where I'm going to stay is CBS.

It's a little close to Disneyland to me, but OK.

but this the first time I stayed at this hotel it was a Hyatt and that was I don't know a year or two ago and I liked it I thought oh this is conveniently located the hotel is actually a it's a nice hotel I like the people that work here and then I checked out and they didn't ever send me my little like receipt my little folio it's called and so you know me I'm not like Mr. On It with that stuff and so about a week and a half later I called the hotel and I said hey I need to go ahead and get my um my receipt sent to me did i tell you this story no no but i know this move

i do this a lot especially in a business trip i called them and i said i need to send me the

receipt uh and the folio and they said well how long do you stay here i said about a week ago they said we're not the same hotel anymore we have changed ownership and we we the person you're

talking to we have none of the information from last read all the records we drove a nail through

all the hard drives it was it was just like 15 semi-trucks that said iron mountain on the side of them for some reason which by the way i believe is a document destruction company which i always wonder about that iron mountain i don't know if that's i don't know if that means what do you think that means what do you think it means well i just mean i think what iron mountain does is document destruction i think they are a company but i don't is iron i guess it's a very It's a very impregnable mountain

Oh, I see You don't think it's a specific reference to something

No, it should be called Master Shredder

You know what I mean?

Iron Mountain doesn't tell me about What you're going to do when you pull up What you're going to do is Take all of the paperwork from what used to be a Hyatt The Hyatt Thompson Hotel is what it was called And you're going to feed it all Into a wood chipper And take it away and make it so that Luke can never get the folios So then so it got actually it became a bonvoy andrew which as you know is a major upgrade in my fortune because i'm a bonvoy boy and uh but the bonvoy people were like we don't know anything about what happened a week ago and we're not asking oh wow and we don't want to know and so then i called hi and they said yeah that's not our hotel anymore and i was like somebody has got to have this receipt for this hotel stay one of you two has to have this and is there any flexibility

like if you just put in the concur or or you reach out to somebody in hr with the or whoever handles that kind of stuff accounting or whatever and just say like listen this is the situation it's all it's all documentable it's it's a different hotel now i mean first of all i love the ghostly implications of this as well it's kind of like no you were never here we were never here

The guy who answered the phone was Grady from The Shining.

The fact that when you called, he said, oh. Mr. Torrance. That was really, yeah. But, I mean, is there any wiggle room, or are they just like?

Hey, can I hear your Scatman Crothers impression?

Yeah, you know, I've been working on that. Thanks for asking. I'll do it right after my Cosby. Anyway, I want to know. So this card is just for a review, right?

Okay, we're back to it. By the way, the end of the story is I signed some like power of attorney and Hyatt eventually issued me a folio.

Oh, they did. So you thought it would be easier to navigate their Byzantine systems before CBS's.

Yes, because here's the thing. With CBS, I know, Andrew, I know there's going to be a time in the future where I'm doing something I'm definitely not supposed to be doing. And when that happens, I want to still have one of these, like, I don't know where the receipt is. Can you let me slide in my back pocket? I don't want to waste that. I don't want to waste that on a legitimate thing I was doing for work where I have, and it was in per diem. In other words, in per diem means when I go on the website, and I'm looking at all the hotels in Los Angeles, I picked one of the ones that I was actually allowed to stay at. Because what I could also do is pick one I'm not allowed to stay at. and then later they're going to be like do you have the receipt for that and I'm going to be like they switched companies I don't know anything about it can I get a pass on I just want to use my get out of jail free card on a legit scam I'm playing

with pre-nostalgia you're playing with like pre-shadiness over here I love this that's my rap name I'm pre-shady yeah I'm pre-shady yes I'm the real shady I've got some plans to be shady you really do have some skeletons

don't you it's so so i scan the qr code on this little card that kenya has left me and the thing of it is uh it doesn't like i said it doesn't um take me to like her sort of profile you know where it's like i'm not able to leave a particular review for her that says great job all it is is in trip advisor my general review for this hotel which would be also very positive but i'm getting and i sent you a picture of this note andrew because what was important is that you saw that this is handwritten how many you and i have signed postcards you and i have done you know multiple sort of uh editions of something you know that we've had to sign and send out like how many of these cards these post-it notes do we think that kenya is handwriting and i thought that what this was was a very nice writing by the way sorry to cut you off great great handwriting yes wouldn't you think though when you see a post-it note on your bed well first of first of all first thought is okay i made a real impression on somebody in the lobby how they got in the room i don't know but uh things are about to get really interesting but then my second thought was oh this is from housekeeping and it's just a nice way to kind of nudge nudge and say hey if you like the service we do work for tips and that's where i thought well i did leave a tip but maybe it just wasn't enough of a tip or who knows and then i i scan into this thing and it's there's no tipping involved it's just me saying on trip advisor hey this hotel's great so is kenya like handwriting 20 post-it notes a day and putting it on the bed to say hey if you enjoyed the service here which again i cannot speak highly enough of just the specific job that kenya did i just think this is a lot of work for kenya to be filling these things out by hand because this is not one of those you ever get those things in the mail that look handwritten they're always somebody wanting to refinance your mortgage or something like the

envelope comes with they're using a font that looks vaguely like a handwritten font if you're

not paying too much attention to it it catches your eye and then when you look at it you give it a second look you're like oh yeah nice try um but this is not that this is a handwritten note in very nice handwriting that i feel like this person kenya is doing you know i don't know how many rooms kenya is in charge of on a given day but i feel like it's a lot of rooms that means a lot of notes and i would like this to redound more directly to kenya's bottom line yeah i'm with you

on all of that i'm also doing you know me i'm running to the internet i'm googling around here i'm googling the name of the hotel with handwritten note and let's see here here's a we had a room with a bright airy mid-century modern aesthetic and a floor to ceiling glass windows we were welcomed with a handwritten welcome note and a bottle of spanish cava did you get a whoa no this was this is at this hotel i'm staying at yeah though because you already said the name of the hotel but also it's in the photo because here's i had a question for you as well you've taken a photo of this handwritten as you mentioned it's on a perfectly square yellow sticky note but that sticky note as i'm seeing it is now stuck to the official stationary of the hotel she did not put this on the stationery and leave it on the bed i put it on the stationery um because i just thought

it would be a better backdrop for the photo while i was i think that because this is a nice hotel

that is trying to create a kind of a bespoke experience i think that they might encourage their employees to leave handwritten notes like maybe she has a whole bunch of these that she writes in the morning maybe she just i'm just sits down for a moment and writes it and then leaves it

and then moves on to the next room well what's what's ultimately happening here is whether kenya intended this to happen or not i am gonna tip more now and and not just tomorrow i'm gonna when i talk to the front desk see if i can because i don't know if i'll have the same person uh making up the room tomorrow but what i will do is uh tonight before i go out and have a dinner with my daughter at a place andrew that i feel like

Well, I don't know. I don't want to overstate this. When I was looking at the website for the restaurant and I was looking, I was doing a street, little street walk, street view of the restaurant. I thought this place, this place would give Andrew a bit of agita. It's giving me agita. But as I'm walking out to go to dinner, I'm going to stop by the front desk and say, can I put a couple more bucks with you all? And can we make sure they get to the person who took care of my room today? Because I thought they did a great job. So even though I don't think that's what Kenya was trying to do with this note, I think that that they have earned an even larger tip because that's got it. You know, in restaurants, they call that side work. It's like taking all the ketchups that have like a little bit of ketchup in like three bottles and then like consolidating them into one bottle. It's like rolling up napkins with the silverware in it. It's all the stuff that does not lead to a tip that nobody really wants to be doing, but you got to do it so that, you know, your shift goes well or so that the next shift goes well. It's called side work. And I feel like we're putting a lot of side work on Kenya with these notes.

Do me a favor. And I might post this note as the show pick because there's no personal information in there. No, I will not post the show pick of what I'm asking. But can you send you said that this was stuck to or at least accompanied by a card like a business card. Now, I'm curious about this business card. The business card, does it look like it's something that is created en masse by the hotel itself?

I think it's created en masse by TripAdvisor.

By TripAdvisor, but for this specific hotel.

No, it's not. No, it's literally like it's a blank. It's like you'll see the photo in a minute. But first, I'll just describe it for you, for the listeners, I should say. We hope your stay was the Atlanta Falcons. it says we hope your stay was a memorable one scan the qr code to share your experience on trip advisor oh you know i'm sorry you know what andrew i am wrong it says your experience at the hollywood grand has been made possible by and then kenya writes her name in so this is the code is

took you directly to this hotel on trip advisor not just the main page so that's that's a good point clearly it's created for this so yeah i'll bet you that there is an arrangement with trip advisor and the hotel or at least you know the hotel wants good reviews and they probably encourage their employees to do this i was i kind of wished i think i've been in a hotel before and i'm sure you have i think now that i think about it i've been in a hotel where you scan a qr code like there's a little maybe a little table tent or something on the desk and you can tip that way that is smart because i do like i do like tipping in this context but you can't always guarantee

you're going to have cash on you. Oh, no. I mean, I think that definitely having a QR code to tip the housekeeping staff is at this point the way to go. You know, I know this, Andrew, even more vividly today than I did the other day is as we were recording this, this is the Wednesday edition of the show, but we're actually recording this kind of late on Tuesday. So I was just at the kind of live workspace of the late artist named Robert Therrien. And when I got there and I was, uh, you know, kind of getting ready for the shoot and I was putting my phone away and my little AirPods I had in the lift and everything, I realized I didn't have my wallet. I had left my wallet here at the hotel. In fact, sitting right next to, um, right on the nightstand. And when I tell you, Andrew, cause I was about 45 minutes away, maybe 30 minutes away from the hotel. So I'm staying in Hollywood. We were filming in, in kind of down where USC is kind of South Los Angeles and when I realized I didn't have my wallet I felt this immediate sense of like I was on a spacewalk and I came untethered from the space station I was like how will I even get home I am totally sunk and then I realized wait my phone is a wallet oh wait actually yeah that's Lyft lives in my phone and also my phone is a wallet so if I wanted to go to the tender greens which I did that's down on sunset that's why it was even later i'm sorry i needed to get me some tender greens i realized oh all of this is with my phone my wallet is honestly at this point sort of superfluous like i didn't know you had a wallet i thought

you just had like a phone cover that you put a few credit cards in and your id i don't like those those are so bulky oh i thought i always thought that was your move i don't know why i thought i've

had something like that back in the day but then it just made my overall phone experience so much worse but like as soon as like uh washington state and maybe they already are as soon as washington state is on the list of states that will let you officially enter your driver's license you know into your phone so that it's a valid thing and you can show it anywhere um because it's a valid washington state id once that happens i actually will not have any reason that i need to

bring my physical wallet around anymore i have so much stuff in my wallet i have like a george Costanzo wallet and I know it's not necessary but I can't part with it like I have insurance cards in there and I actually did have to show my insurance card at the doctor the other day but I mean I guess I could be more like you know I could have more

forethought like i'm going to the doctor these are the documents i need or or what have you but like i'm gonna look at this do i have it on me it's like i'm just such an old man i just i wasn't

don't you use the app for your health care i mean i'm all about that kp.org like i should i mean do

you want i mean first of all i got our insurance is in my phone i have i have a whole bunch of credit cards which i could like i guess transfer them all to my phone in some way or another i do use my phone primarily for buying things now i got my credit card on there but then in my in my wallet itself i've got a tbtb too beautiful to biz credit card i have a tbtb debit card i shouldn't be carrying both those around asking for trouble i've got my own personal debit card that i never use i have a credit card that is attached to my personal account not our joint account in case i see something i want to get genevieve i have our joint account credit card i have an hsa card and i have my special pop-up kitchen uh debit card for buying supplies for my volunteer gig those are all cards that are those are just the payment cards let alone the gift cards i have in here my library card which i definitely need in here a reward do you really have cards i have a silver platters uh rewards card i had a gift card in here i think i just oh yeah i have a shoe gift card from genevieve's mom that still has some money on it here for dsw you know me

you never know when you're gonna need a design a designer shoe warehouse true story though that's

actually honestly that would be one of the last ones i take out of the wallet because it's true i used to keep them in my drawer at home because i was doing all my shopping online but i find myself what did i just mentioned silver platters up there in uh is it linwood where there's also a dsw i find myself in linwood sometimes i think if only i had that dsw card i could come i could walk into that store and walk out with a fresh pair of sketchers right now what it's funny to

me about whether it's you know are you will you be ordering using the app or are you in our rewards club is or do we have do you have a phone number with us is like for some reason there are the things of course I talk about a lot Alaska Airlines Marriott Avis there are the ones that like the the people the companies I interact with where it would I would in a million years I would die before I would use them without getting my proper credit without building up my credit but like if I'm at a Chipotle and they're like are you going to be using the chipotle app to get your points i'm like how would you even think i'm that much of a loser you mean and it makes no sense it's there's something about like maybe because i mean i actually think chipotle is you know a perfectly fine place and not a particularly unhealthy place but like it's funny when there are just certain things that when i'm i'm trying to think well i don't think of this with best buy necessarily but like when i was buying this microphone i'm talking to at best buy they were like do you have a number with us and i was like of course i don't have a number with you you look like a person's like got a best buy account like no but by the

way why would that be a bad thing what about a grocery do you at the grocery store do you punch

oh yeah big time and and you know what that one is totally my mood like what sort of what is going to be for me in this moment the best way to experience this safeway discount is it going to be put the number in first and see each little thing as it goes down or is it going to be to do it to tetris it at the end of the entire order punch in that number and watch that that number dropped by a lot. And, you know, it just depends on the day for me, but I very much use the, uh, it's, it's, I very much use anything where they're going to actively give me a discount in the moment. It's more like the thing of like, if I keep using my Chipotle card, I'll get a free burrito after enough Chipotles. There's something, I think what it feels to me is pointless because I don't go to Chipotle that much. So when somebody asked me about the, or like I, you know, anytime you go through, I know you don't go through drive-thrus, but if you ever go through a mcdonald's drive-thru now there is a pre-recorded voice i think they make the shift leader pre-record a message welcome to mcdonald's will you be using the mobile app to order i've heard that before

yeah when we did our whopper challenge or whatever i went through the drive-thru not to brag i was a

and then you say no i say no and then a totally different voice goes hi welcome to mcdonald's what can i get you i didn't notice not even the same person but it's not like a professional it's also not like clearly like someone they hired who's like a professional voiceover actor It's just a different person who works for the McDonald drive through. I literally think it's like you log in and whoever's the first person on the mic has to record the welcome to the Woodland McDonald's. We'll be using the mobile app to order. And that, that this really speaks to my feelings around going through the McDonald's drive through, which again is sometimes a little sweet treat for old LB get on those cookies, maybe get some French fries. I am like, do I seem like a person who uses the McDonald's now? Well, I should. should because even if i go through there once every four months it adds up or even if i go to chipotle once every two months it adds up like the same principle that applies to for me wanting to get every single bonvoy point that i can it should apply to everything in my life or how about jimmy johns is a great example every time i go into jimmy johns which is more frequent than any of the things i've cited so far jimmy johns is probably once every three weeks for me every time i go into a jimmy johns they ask me if i'm in the rewards club and i say no like it's an

insane question i am always the path of least resistance on these things because i like i have friends and folks who listen to the show who i know like love gamifying not the jimmy johns but the jersey mics right we have we have some hardcore jersey mics friends of ours fans who are friends of ours and i know that they there are like you can pick soup or you can pick i think throughout the football season you could make predictions on game outcomes and earn points that way and certain days are double points so we'll get text messages that say don't forget today is jersey mike's double points day if you wanted to order through the app or whatever which is like i i i used to not even use that at all i used to not order online i would just go there and And just like I did when I was a kid, I would say, I want a number 13, please make it Mike's way. And I never even ordered online. But then once you start ordering online, you're automatically kind of creating an account for yourself. You're like, oh, I see how points are building up. But then I just never think to go back and use them. But when I say path of least resistance, I'm at not even Office Max the other day, Luke. I'm at the Office Minimum? The Office Depot. Like, do you remember, do you recall that there's both an Office Max and an Office Depot? I think I always say them, like, interchangeably. But no, there's something called the Office Depot, which seems even more antiquated to me for some reason.

There is an Office Depot probably 150 steps from me right now. And I had to use it to try to wrap Addy's Christmas present last time I was here. And let me tell you, it was lacking. It was no office.

Lacking and super expensive, right? It's amazing. I guess they're only staying in business because, like, most people are buying their office supplies probably on Amazon for, like, you know, half the price and probably gets it to you faster than actually waiting in line at Office Depot. So Office Depots are these huge pieces of real estate that have kind of a lot of empty shelves and a sadness about them. But you can buy one pen for $30, and it's a Bic pen, and it's only one color. You know me. I'm into my multicolor pens phase. But it's just amazing. like literally a pack of like five envelopes that are like eight and a half by 11 or is that what eight and a half by 11 envelopes or whatever it'll literally cost 30 dollars luke i'm not joking i'm like how are they selling these envelopes at such a markup and it must be because the only way they can stay in business is by like catching flies like me okay all of this is to say i go in there the other day because i want to buy my four i'm driving back from the post office and then i'm passing office depot on my right on aurora and i think oh i want some of those four color pens from my youth in case i start the crack of the back exactly the crowd baseball games and i just go and it was weird just to walk in this giant store and then just walk out with like a three pack of these pens which was like i think 15 or something and i'm telling you man everything is so marked up there but then the guy who is very nice as he's like and by the way i'm also harboring some guilt because the last time I went in there I was looking for a very specific hard drive and I'd been all over town I had this is just like I don't know three weeks after Christmas or two weeks after Christmas and I had gone to every box store imaginable I'm calling all over town nobody's got the hard drive that I need you cannot just go to a store and buy anything anymore you have to buy it on Amazon and I was kind of in this downward spiral and so when I went into Office Depot a few weeks ago and i saw on the shelf they had one of those stand-ins for the expensive product like a piece of plastic that you take to the front and you say this is the hard drive that i want i've been all over town all over town i'm tired i'm hangry as they say in the snickers commercial i finally find what i'm looking for i take it up to the front and the guy goes in the back and he's like i'm sorry we don't have this i'm like then why do you have a million of them on your shelf Like remove them from your shelf.

That should be illegal. You should get it for free at that point because in this nightmare hellscape of retail commerce that we now live in where so many places are just empty shelves and then some theft-proof representation of the thing. If you see the theft-proof representation, they better have that thing in the back.

In triplicate. Like why do you have a bunch of them on the shelf if you have none in the back? the back and so at that point I was at the end of my rope and I told him he can go no just joking I wasn't outwardly rude to him but I was just like I was going to buy I think a pen or maybe a pad of paper or something and this hard drive which was the main purchase and when he told me he didn't have any and then he said I have these other kind I'm like are they even solid state bro and he was like no I didn't call him a bro but I think he just saw my mood really sink because I I went in there very down, then I had this moment of optimism. And so I've always, for the past several weeks, I felt bad about my last interaction at Office Depot, feeling I was maybe a little bit less gracious than I could have been to the poor employee who works there who is not in charge of stocking these things, I'm sure. So then I go in the other day, and there's a very nice young man who's charging me, ringing me up for this simple purchase of pens, and he's like, are you in the system? And I'm like, no, I'm not in the system. He's like, well, would you like to be? And Luke, I couldn't say no. I don't know why.

Was it the same guy?

I don't know. I literally don't know.

He had a red polo shirt on and a name tag.

They were both white guys and probably around the same age of somewhere in their 20s. And it might have been the same guy. I'm talking in plural. I really don't know. But I think it was maybe the lingering guilt of the last time it's in there. But also, just like a rivulet of water, I'm just going to go, if they say, I'm going to put you in the system, I say, okay, and I let them do it. And if they don't say it, I'm like, no, I'm not in there, and then you just move on with your day, then I'm just going to move on with my day. I'm a lot, I think, like you in that way.

Well, I may just start saying yes to the dress, because the thing is, first of all, I've already, I'm at the point, Andrew, where I just accept all cookies. yeah i'm just i can't i i i fought i i fought the good fight and i lost and now i just can't i'm so compromised i'm so i'm my cookies have been my cookies have been all over town your cookies have been tossed my friend they have been tossed and then retossed sir and it's just like i'm and it's sad too because you know it's like every day we hear more news about the surveillance state and ring cameras and and just you know all the different ways that that that we've as they say and i think i even quoted on the show the other week if it's free you are the product um but i'm just so in other words there's nothing i'm not i'm not preserving any part of my um you know my identity by not giving jimmy johns my damn phone number it's just it has to do with my every time i'm in a jimmy johns i think well this might be the last time i'm ever at a jimmy johns this was a mistake I was very hungry yeah and I wanted to come here but I don't even I don't eat sandwiches I'm not a Jimmy I get the and you guys don't even do the thinny chips anymore what the hell so it's because whereas if I'm somewhere like I'm like I'm going to stay in a lot more Marriott hotels I'm going to fly on a lot more Alaska Airlines planes it's my perception of if this if this defines me or doesn't define oh interesting and I feel like living yeah being Jimmy being at a Jimmy John's doesn't define me or at least I don't want it to so I feel like I can't engage with the product now just the last thing i'll say on this before we um thank some dazzling donors is i i'm so mad i don't want to talk about this because i'm so mad at myself but about six months ago i got something in the mail from rei that said you have some of your are you have you have 31 in rei dividend and you've got to spend it before like january 15th or something not january 1st which seems like that would have been the cutoff date but sometime in january and i kept saying to myself this is a free because you know that's like you buy stuff from rei and then over time you you it adds up i was like 31 free dollars that'll get me a pair of mittens that'll get me some kind of a something some impulse buy from the front part of the rei as you're snaking your way out to the register and it's just 31 free rei bucks just waiting for me And then I even Googled, can I use REI dividend online? And guess what the internet said? Absolutely, you can. You go to REI.com and you buy something there for $31. And this is how, tell you how lazy I was. Tell you how lazy I was. I didn't get it together to go to REI.com and spend $31 free until the other day I went on there, went into my account. Guess how much I have in dividends? Zero dollars and zero cents. and this has along with those what i thought were diet root beers that i was drinking these are the

two things that have been bedeviling me i can't let it go that i just squandered those 31 dollars just due to my like inaction can i help you get over this please do rei is a good organization

it's a co-op i don't you know i don't play in that outdoor space so i don't have any uh i don't have any dugs on this flight but when i do that with An organization like that, like if it was DSW, like some sort of just nameless organization, I somehow, these are gift cards so they don't expire. But if I somehow left money on the table, that would kind of bum me out. But with REI, you just think, you know what? Good. Like, I know that they've had some financial troubles over the past few years. I'm glad they're still around. And if this money goes towards their bottom line, it's an organization that I want to have a strong future. I feel okay about it.

That is, Andrew, you've done me a great kindness. That's what I do. Sir. I mean that seriously you're right by the way I have a friend and I'm not our mutual friend who I think we have a mutual friend who used to work there or work with them but I've got another friend who was in my Wilco cover band who is like I think in line to be the next CEO of REI like is like in the top three people that work there and I love this person he's one of my very favorite people on planet earth and I'm sure there are so many other wonderful people that work at REI so and I know there's been labor issues and so don't come at us about every single thing that rei and or sally jewel has done in history people the point is i'm with you if it was a if it was a card if it was an amazon card i would feel worse about it than rei card if it if it gets them one more little foothold for that rock climbing apparatus that they have going on in south lake union or whatever that

neighborhood is dexter god bless you know what luke and i want to we need to end this segment But I needed to do a little bit more research on this card that was left, this review card on the TripAdvisor story. So you sent me a photo of the card, and I was able to scan that QR code myself. I wanted to see what your experience would be. Are you seeing something that I'm not seeing? No, no, I'm not. But I'm developing a theory. I'm developing a theory. Because it's kind of an open polling situation as far as like, well, how would you rate your experiences, one through five, it looks like. But other than that, it's kind of like, you know, write a little review, share your experience. I think that Kenya wants you to mention her in the review. And here's why I think that. Because when Genevieve and I were in Las Vegas a few weeks ago, we were having some drinks and snacks at like a sports bar. I'm trying to remember. It was like Mike's on Top or something. Or it had something to do with Mike and it had something to do with hats. I can't remember the name of it. Okay. Anyway, and we had some really – it was like a huge sports bar. I'll bet you you've been in there before, like a zillion screens, like walls and walls and walls of screens. But it was the playoff time, so there was only really one sporting event that anybody cared about. It was whatever play – it was the 49ers-Eagles game? Was that a thing? There was something along the lines of that. And every single television was playing, and it was a sight to behold. But anyway, we had a very hardworking, nice staff who were attending to Genevieve and I who were sitting at the rail, yeah? And I don't know why I'm talking like that. And anyway, afterwards, one of the servers gave Genevieve something very similar to this and said, hey, we have a little contest going on amongst us servers. And if you could, like, kind of give us a good review and mention that it was, like, Tina and Greg or whoever who served you today. So I wonder if there's a little internal competition and also the fact that she lets you know her name is Kenya. Maybe the expectation here is that you should even maybe mention Kenya in your review.

I'm already working on it. Yeah? The title of my review is Incredible Service! Because, by the way, I keep saying it. There is incredible service here. They are so, so nice. And it's very clear. I've talked about this with like the sphere in Las Vegas, which had the greatest customer service of any place like that I've ever been to. And what you can tell when every single person that you interact with who's a worker does the same kind of thing, they're like, check in on you. They're making eye contact. They look like they want to be there, whether or not they do. That's clearly a training matter. That's clearly something where this company has said, we are going to excel in the customer service department. When we hire people, we're going to say, hey, one of the things about working here is like, this is how it works. And I can tell with this hotel that it's exactly the same thing. I have not encountered one employee who has not been very clearly trained in how to just give absolutely excellent customer service. That's a big deal. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm appreciative of it. And so my review is going to be called Incredible Service. And it's going to talk about how helpful everybody is here and specifically Kenya. I'm going to mention Kenya. Now, should I let the AI help me write it? Because there is one of those little... Also, by the way, it's not... You know what, Andrew? This is... The only thing worse than AI trying to help you write a review of Kenya on TripAdvisor is not even AI. Do you know what happens when you click on... They have a little kind of like two little sparkles. I mean, you're looking at this thing too, right? If you look at the write your review and then you see how it says, like, help me write it.

I'm not on my phone anymore, unfortunately, but I'm trusting you. I know those sparkles that you're talking about.

Isn't it weird that we now just instinctively read those sparkles to mean AI is involved? I mean, part of it's because on a Google, I think when you Google something, that's next to the AI overview. But it's insane how quickly I've been trained to see those two little, a little kind of a shimmer, a couple of little sparkles and think, well, the robots will take it from here. But that's not even what this is. I clicked on it. It just says, how did the staff come across during your stay? I'm going to say, great. And then that's it, I guess. That's what you've got for me. It's just asking me, how did the staff come across during your stay? And then I'm supposed to write, great. It's not writing for me. It's just, I guess, asking me a question that I can then answer. Like, it's a writing prompt. It's like, here's a question for you. If you answer this question, you will have written the review. I have gone from detesting AI to being really mad that this is not good actual AI helping me on this.

That's not actually AI. That's not even how AI works. We don't even have time to get into an anti-AI rant right now. I'll save that boring shit for another day. But I don't like it. I don't like logging into a new Google account and all the AI stuff is turned on, all the Gmail. I guess I'm just doing the rant. Because I have a whole bunch of different Gmail accounts, including my main one, which is opening in front of me at all times. But then I've got, you know, I don't have to list them all. Various podcasts, the public ones for podcasts, like the one for my volunteer gig or whatever. And actually, that is the one I was logged into the other day. The person who usually responds to emails for Ravenna Pop-Up Kitchen is out for a while on sabbatical or something. So asked me if I could be the person who checks emails for the organization. I'm like, sure, that's fine. So I log in for the first time in a long time, and I realize all this AI shit has just been left on because people don't care as much as I do. And I think one of my TBTL accounts was the same thing. And what I notice is they have this thing where they have an entire email composed as a response to emails that you get. And first of all, I don't like that. I like writing. I just can't imagine just sending off an entire email that you just scanned. The computer said this is how you should respond to somebody. But the problem also is it wrong, Luke. Like it was like somebody had sent something like, hey, is this the thing you're looking for? Or I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was a question about that. And the AI was like, hey, we have an answer ready to go. Just hit send. But the answer was, yes, I've been looking all over for this. Thank you. I can't believe you found it. You know, it wasn't – my example is somewhat bastardized there, but it was essentially that. It's kind of like you can't have AI respond to emails when it's a yes or no question. You're just guessing at the answer.

Exactly. I'm sorry if I sounded distracted. I was writing my review. Best hotel in L.A., very friendly front desk, and Kenya, with housekeeping, does an exceptional job. Would recommend staying here.

Don't put the little kissy lips emojis there.

Too late. Don't. Wait, I've got to give it an excellent. When was I there? I have a bad feeling, Andrew. Something's about to happen. I'm going to hit continue on this. In other words, I'm going to tell TripAdvisor that I'm okay with this being the post, and then TripAdvisor is going to try to make me join. Sign in to continue leaving your review.

Oh, my God. They're grabbing your information.

Maniacs. i i want to do what i can for kenya but i stopped short of signing into jimmy johns slash tripadvisor i'm with you dot mcdonald's app and i knew that was going to happen it's too you're never going to get like you're never going to just be leaving a review and then you don't have to at some point log into the place you're leaving the review yeah yeah i mean i guess

that sort of makes sense i guess like yelp i have a yelp account if i'm going to leave a yelp review i guess i'm signing it but there is something about that yelp complainer exactly but if you're There is something galling about, like, here, leave us a review, but then in order to do so, you have to hand over your information. I'm just, after my little AI rant, though, I just need to back away from all this, because I just sound like an old, crusty man who does not want to interact with modern life.

The important thing is that Kenya's going to have to just settle for good old-fashioned cold, hard cash. I love that. Instead of internet plaudits, because it's too much for me to do. But I will stop by the front desk and give them the notice, and more importantly, the money, that Kenya is really awesome. Should we thank some dazzling donors?

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

There's that dazzling music that tells us it's time to thank some dazzling donors. Of course, TVTL is a...

100% listener-supported podcasting. This only exists because of the generosity of folks who listen and like it and then voluntarily donate money so that we can do this five days a week, 52 weeks a year. And it's thanks to a dazzling donor, Andrea Elkins, our friend out there in Humble, Texas.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Andrea, thank you once again for the, did you say cozy or koozie, Luke?

Koozie, it's a thing that you're putting around a can of beer or soda? Koozie.

Because Andrea gave me one in the green room before it was the 4,000th episode maybe. I remember that. But I thought she was just letting me borrow it. So then when I gave it back to her, I think I insulted her because then she later on gave it to Genevieve and said, Andrew gave it back to me. And I've been carrying that around and I feel bad about it.

Was it from Humble, Texas? Did it have something to do with something from Andrea's life?

I can't remember what was on it, so now I feel even worse.

Mm-hmm. Well, as well you should. I'm just going to read this message, and we're going to just pretend like none of that even happened. Andrea says...

Hey, thanks for making it awkward, Andrew.

Howdy, goobers! Another year of dazzling details has come and gone, with a lot of changes experienced in our household between myself, Mr. David, and Polly Prissy Pants. As usual, your upbeat dialogue has kept us giggling through job layoffs, retirement, hobby-seeking, bone-chewing, and travel.

Is David still chewing on those bones?

I need some clarification on who's doing what and who had what happened to them. Was Polly Prissy Pants laid off?

Yeah.

And how are they taking it?

Yeah, I am sorry to hear about that layoff. I don't know the details on that, but I hope you all are doing okay.

Yeah, seriously. We wouldn't be ourselves without your constant companionship With continued appreciation and prosperous blessing Wished for your future We love the TBTL store And continue to seek opportunities to invest in swag Oh boy Andrea, you just lit a fire under John Sklaroff

Yeah, listen You can hear him rushing to the computer As we speak That's right Once every four months

We have a conversation where John's like You know, we have a merch store, y'all We should do more stuff And Andrew and I go, that sounds like a lot of work He's like, but I do all of the work And we're like, I know, but still

We're from the 90s That just smacks of effort As Bart Simpson once said

Let's see We've assembled quite the TBTL altar with this Last year's musical accompaniments And we can't wait to see what the future brings Sending you love and polydog kisses Your devoted 10, Andrea Well, Andrea, thank you so much You've been an incredible supporter of the show and such a just an awesome person to know and also to Mr. David and to Polly Prissy Pants. Although I don't think I've actually met Polly Prissy Pants. I have not, yeah. But in the, you know, in the spirit of me loving all dogs, I'm assuming that I also would love Polly Prissy Pants. Anyway, Andrea, thank you so much for your support of TBTL. It really does mean the world to us. Maestro?

On your mark. Get set. Well, look who it is.

It's our pal Arlen Horst. Arlen, not Arlene, is what Arlen is saying. I'm hoping that that's not in response to an actual mistake that we made on the show. Because we've been seeing Arlen's name for years and years and years. And I feel like I've always known that it's Arlen. So, Arlen, if I called you Arlene, I am truly sorry.

Well, let me say this. First of all, hi, Arlen. We've met at the QFC before. I don't know if you recall that. But also, Arlen signs all of his emails by saying Arlen, not Arlene. And I received a voicemail on the voicemail line from him the other day. And it started, hi, this is Arlen, not Arlene. So I'm thinking that he, after maybe a lifetime of other people making the mistake, maybe he's just leaned into that. I'm really hoping, as you are, that it's not a TBTL-specific phenomenon.

Gotcha, Arlen, not Arlene. Thank you. Arlen says, another year of excellent co-broing, guys. This year I will not repeat 2025 when I broke my collarbone in a bike crash as I donated my bike to a worthy nonprofit to benefit low-income community members. I guess that's one way to eliminate bike crashes from your life, Andrew, is to donate your bike to a worthy cause. I don't know how our friend Lee is going to feel about that, Arlen, but okay. Along with several other bikes belonging to some of my neighbors, with their permission, of course.

Like Arlen just turning around into neighbors' garages, taking their bikes and donating them to good cause. This is Arlen's origin story. Arlen goes ass over tea kettle on a bike, sustains a collarbone injury, is like no more biking for me and also no more biking for anyone.

For anybody that I love.

But for people I don't know, more biking for them. I'm collecting up all of these bikes.

He's collecting bikes from people he loves and giving them to people that he does not care for as much. No, that's not true. He's giving them to a good cause. I don't want to cross that message.

No, but thanks, Arlen, for doing that. I'm sure folks are very happy to get those bikes. Hope your shoulder, I should say, collarbone is healing up. Arlen says, my first shout-out is for Paws, the progressive animal welfare society from where my wife and I adopted two sister kittens in October. They are a great pair of cats providing endless fun entertainment. A high-five paw to them, to both Bingo and Bubbles. Wow, you know, tell you what, Andrew. I have been, because I've been in Portland a lot lately, i've been spending a lot of time with bubbles and it's a it's it's been kind of intense because it's making me really miss her like when i don't see her a lot it's easy for me to just forget that i once i once purchased a bangle cat in a pet smart parking lot in gresham you didn't purchase

it was a rehoming fee of course luke um excuse me i wanted to talk to you about this on the show today but i think too much time i think we're going too long in the show we don't have to get into it now but i was going to start the show by telling you how how bingo crazy i truly have become because today was a bit of a hard day because bingo our cat had to go in for a procedure

everything is fine but they always encourage us to get a penis reduction he had what every cat

would dream of that's absolutely right no uh you know for all of our cats they've always recommended having like i guess somewhat regular like dental cleanings but you got to put a cat to sleep for that and we've never really done that for our other cats but then um i don't know we kind of had some regrets about that and so bingo who's only about three years old right now we're like well you know took him into the dentist they said well you should or to the vet and they said you should probably get the dental procedure get them cleaned or whatever and i'm like okay and i just have never worried about a cat the way i because i think i grew up in the country and cats were sort of like they kind of came and went and while there were cats were good eating pets that i had and i love don't you dare say that about fred how far down the country did you grow up but i do know that like when we moved we left fred behind my childhood cat and kitten we left him behind because he was a barn cat and that was just kind of like how we did in the country you know and now and

And Fred probably had as good a life as he was going to have either way, out there mousing and doing his thing, right?

Yeah, we couldn't have removed him from his home, and we were moving homes, and it's just the way it was. But anyway, now here I am, I'm knocking on the door at 50 years old, and I don't know who I am anymore, because Luke, I have been so nervous about his procedure, because they have to put them under, you know, they have to put them under anesthetic, which is a hard word for me to say. um and that can be a little you know they do it I'm sure hundreds of times a day but I just get a little nervous about that and I Genevieve had to take him in at like seven o'clock this morning I mean we're just talking I'm not talking about losing a cat I'm talking about a cat that just went into the vet for a day but this morning like I came downstairs I automatically was waiting for him to like jump off my back and jump up on the windows we have all these routines built in to our morning alone, I mean mornings especially, and then you come around a corner, you're expecting to see him there, and he's not there, and again, I want to remind you, I'm not talking about Professor Bananas, like when she passed away, I was having these feelings a lot, which makes sense, because I was in mourning, and we were used to her presence. He was just at the vet, but I can't tell you how many times my heart sank today because my little buddy wasn't around, and it makes me worried about the future if I ever do have to live in a bingo-less world, to be honest with you.

Oh, you're going before he is.

Have you seen my lifestyle? I'm doing everything possible. I know, and it's working. I'm riding all of Arlen's bikes at once.

Like some sort of Russian circus. It's like lying across six bicycles. Yeah, I don't have a story that's nearly as cute and heartfelt because my story is one of, I've abandoned my child. I've abandoned my child but it is weird because I was pretty obsessed with Bubbles when I got her and then when I was when I thought it was going to be well she'll just be at my house up at the Madrona Hill studio most of the time but then just for now she's going to be with Becca because it makes more sense it's a construction zone and all this and also within the first five minutes of having Bubbles there she did somehow find her way into

to the floor i don't remember that epic photo yeah where it was like i was really i had to tear out an entire wall and just wait for her to decide to saunter out but so it was like oh this feels dicey so then it's like she's at becca's and then it's like uh six months goes by and a year goes by and now becca is bonded with her and now it's like that's where she lives and i get these you know get these updates throughout the day of what bubbles is doing and stuff and then i start spending more time at becca's place and now i'm like you know having coming out in the morning and sitting down on the couch and having coffee and then Bubbles is coming over and like lying down for scratches and stuff and just being you know also very annoying I mean she's a very annoying cat but it's like I feel myself like rebonding with her and then I'm like like no wonder I'm lonely at my house it's like it's you know it's uh it's me and that's pretty much it it's me and these deer that I stare out through the window and have a parasocial relationship with like I would die

and a baseball signed by Jorge Polanco

and oh I gotta get that back out by the way it's almost Polanco season by the way well you know what I mean I'm rooting for him back there

and I'm glad he got his bag that wasn't affordable for the Mariners all of this is to say though what a shout out to PAWS the Progressive Animal Welfare Society because you and I are clearly cat crazy and other folks can be too

Arlen also says my second shout out is for the Seattle Mandolin Orchestra this spring we're featuring music composed especially for mandolins with all but one written by living composers you can find us on YouTube I remember the last time that we read a dazzling donor message from Arlen I think we went we were checking out some videos of the of the mandolin orchestra it's incredible I am actually a big fan of the mandolin And that is to say, I really like it in songs and music. I kind of like bluegrass more than I remember until I'm hearing it. And then I'm like, they're also, mandolins are a fascinating instrument to me because they're like kind of the size of a violin, but they kind of play like a guitar. And am I hearing mandolins in the background?

Yeah, I'm just getting it going underneath you. Sorry to distract you guys.

Is this the mandolin orchestra or is this just some random mandolin?

This is the Seattle Mandolin Orchestra performing. You're going to know this song. oh is this neil young it's a fleetwood mac the chain oh oh never break the chain it's just yeah it's just warming up you would have gotten there eventually

um what's the what's the uh the crosby stills nash song is that the the one about kent state that i'm confusing it with it sounded a little bit no what's the yeah yeah i think i was confusing

with oh okay yeah but anyway yeah this is cool they got a lot of stuff up on youtube too

all right so go check them out online and Arlen thank you very very much for supporting the show Arlen not Arlene checking in with some TBTL dazzling a

donor support here I go once again with the email every week I hope that it's

from a female no man it's not from a female all right uh do you've got an email do you have an email or email that you would like to favor us all with i do i have a voicemail here i don't

think this person left their name or if so i didn't jot it down and apologies but we were mentioning on the show recently how way way way back in the day when tbtl was a radio show and before i had anything to do with it uh juggalos were in the news a lot and you started to develop a relation uh i should say you developed a reputation as a radio show for often being the um source of breaking juggalo news i feel like we've as fleet fleetwood mac would say i believe we've broken that chain we aren't really the go-to they said we would never break the chain I know, but we actually did. But I will say, as we were referencing that the other day, it inspired this voicemail, which I did find to be pretty interesting.

Ahoy, ahoy.

That was a bad, I just got to acknowledge, terrible transition. I forgot I was playing all the sound on my end. I want to go back and fix that. I know I can't. So let me just acknowledge that that was a bad transition. Okay, take it away, Anonymous.

Ahoy, ahoy. I've been listening to your juggalo talk a lot. Just remembered that I was told on Monday by a friend that apparently here in Port Townsend, the Bay City, there is a group where they refer to themselves as, I forget if it was ex-juggalos, recovering juggalos, lapsed juggalos. Anyway.

Long story longer, here in Port Townsend, there is a Juggalos Anonymous type group. They even have matching tattoos, and they meet regularly. Thought you would like to know that. Have a great day. No mountain to tall.

So that's interesting. So these are people who are gathering to reject that lifestyle, or because otherwise you could just hang out at the, what do they call their events? The happenings? The gathering of the Juggalos. The gathering of the Juggalos. Yeah, not the happenings. Because that's more of a 60s kind of mod culture kind of thing. So apparently these are folks who still feel the need to belong, but are rejecting the juggalo lifestyle, which the juggalo lifestyle, honest question here, Luke, not, I mean, more Faygo based than like booze and drugs based, right?

Oh, I think it's a big tent. Okay. But, but what I would say is like, I don't, I mean, you know, I've watched some, I've watched some, some videos made at the gathering of the juggalos. I think that people get into all kinds of shenanigans, but my general sense of the juggalo world is, and I'm sure there are some exceptions, but like my sense of the people that become juggalos or who really embrace that lifestyle or like go to the gathering and stuff. it's a lot of people that really enjoy the feeling of belonging to something and the thing they belong to isn't something I would be particularly into but I don't see it as a pernicious thing at all you know to like this music and to want to go to this thing now by the way are there probably issues that happen at the gathering of the juggalos sure are there people who are into the music who have probably done bad things yes but I actually think of I feel very warmly towards people that that make being a juggalo a big part of their personality because i see a person usually who just um yeah i was interested in in finding a group of people that were like-minded and feeling included in something which is something that i think we all want so the idea that that there would be the rejection of the juggalo like lifestyle which involves then belonging to another group is kind of interesting i mean i'm happy that these people are still in a group but it's not like it's like I could see a group that was like we are ex-members of Jonestown yeah right you know we are ex-members of ICE or as I like to call them now the gravy seals I did not make that up but I do think that's the sweetest nickname of all time um like I understand being like we are a group of people that have left something that is very obviously and to almost everyone involved a negative to me it's just the juggalos the whole that whole scene is not for me but i'm happy for the people that it's that it's working for that it's giving them a sense of

identity and a sense of friendship honestly it was the workaholics episode about the juggalos that really warmed my heart to them because it wasn't a world i gave much thought to but they were really i mean i i don't know if they had their pr people working it would be pretty amazing

if the insane clown posse had like if shaggy too dope and violent jay had deployed their best

comms person yes but like what a love letter to juggalo culture it was like it both parodied it but it also just made it seem like a bunch of people who were just like looking out for each

other well and the kind of main two stars if i remember it's uh that one australian actress who i feel like it was the first it was my first awareness of her um rebel wilson it was the first time i'd ever seen rebel wilson in something and then she kind of turned into a whole comedy phenomenon and then she uh i don't know if she does comedy anymore i think she maybe went i think she actually went to law school in australia before she ever did acting but then it was like the first sighting of rebel wilson i had was as a juggalette a very funny juggalette in workaholic

if i knew that i had forgotten that connection but um yeah anyway all right well thanks thanks

for the message um who's that listener in port townsend i thought i knew every listener in port townsend i don't know they didn't leave their name show yourself call us back with more port townsend content and and let us know who you are so i can shout you out all right all right well that's hey thank you everyone that's gonna do it for today's episode i still i'm andrew on tomorrow's show can i please talk to you about the artist robert therian and the reason is because i was just in well i was in his house he he built this big warehouse in los angeles that he worked in part of it and then lived in this very kind of very austere other part of it but he had a room where he kept all of his cassette tapes and dvds and cds and i was almost 90 sure that i had walked into the media room of your long-lost brother. Oh, wow. The Andrew-ness in this room was palpable, and I really feel like I need to tell you about it.

All right, sounds good. Looking forward to it. Good.

All right. Oh, he's also, he's the scale guy, too. That's what I'm saying. He's the scale guy. Yeah, I was looking at some of his work since you mentioned him. I was looking at those giant folding chairs and stuff that he makes.

They work.

Oh, my God. That's amazing.

They absolutely, they are functional. That table works exactly like the folding card table we all grew up with.

Only it takes a bunch of little putin. It takes two forklifts. I now know this.

It takes two forklifts to lift it. But all of the mechanisms are totally working. And that's in all of these things he does. But he also does a lot of stuff that's not just something that's huge. He does stuff that's small. He does stuff that's in between. Anyway, I just want to tell you about his media, his file management, because it really was giving me some strong Andrew vibes. So maybe we'll do that on tomorrow's show, among other things. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. Power out.