Muse

three comebacks to win any argument, no mercy edition. Number one. Hey, I heard you graduated top of your class at Poop University. Number two. Hey, congratulations. I heard about your new promotion to VP. Very poopy. Number three. Hey, congratulations. I heard, I heard that there was an election, and you just became mayor of Pooptown. It was, people wrote, because everybody wrote in your name. The incumbent mayor was a shoo-in, or so they thought. Early polling showed that he was a favorite, because he actually had done a lot for the city. city council really enjoyed working with him his constituents were really happy with what he was doing when it came to cleaning up the parks and revitalizing the waterfront and he lowered property taxes he made it easier for small businesses to thrive through various incentives there was also a bunch of like small government loans um that went with very low interest so it was actually it was a good time to start a business and uh the schools also improved under him he did a really good job working with the school boards But everybody wrote in your name Because you smell like poop

I'm a Grammy, Emmy, Tony And Webby Award winning And nominated songwriter Artist Designer Director Editor Animator Producer Collector Party thrower

I feel so full of, what's the opposite of shame? Pride? No, not that far from shame.

Less shame?

Yeah.

Well, there's that fine line between, you know, showing emotion and being a hot dog. That's science. These are facts.

If you want to make money, better drop out right now. Go to banking school or website school.

That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Don't miss the Sausage Fest. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

I'm a professional. Look it up in the book.

Coming to you from the Madrona Hills studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is going to be warm today. It's going to touch a hundred.

Mm-mm-mm. I'm flying in hot for that hottie.

I'm all set up, though, here. I'm breaking out my first iced coffee of the season.

This song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world.

So I'm feeling real good here as we arrive at episode 4776 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. A lot of people trying to beat the heat by going to see The Odyssey. Well, I don't know if it's a lot of people. i don't know like it's the beating out the i don't know like uh minecraft movie or something but the people that i tend to like watch on the internet and read their reviews of things the liberal cognoscenti a lot of them seem to be interested in the movie the odyssey so who needs a movie they're showing a very scary uh preview before the odyssey which uh we're going to talk about also uh the internet is of course been obsessed with jimothy the raccoon it's called

the internet and it's a fresh new way to check out sites buy clothing and surf music but in

minnesota they're saying look minnesota building raccoon climbed so that jimothy could run or something like that i need to work on the construction of that little analogy anyway Speaking of animals, hey, this guy's going to join us.

You've been living in the monkey house.

He's the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. I just realized that that transition made it sound like I was calling you an animal. I didn't mean that. I said, speaking of animals, it's just that the intro drop had monkey in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're coming out of a raccoon promo, but it sounded like I was saying, Yeah, speaking of unwashed, filthy animals, my friend Andrew Walsh is here. Not all animals are filthy and unwashed. Listen, there might not be anybody I know who's more washed.

than you i'm too washed in fact wait rinsed i'm at this point rinsed you're chopped i was in the um this isn't this isn't very interesting but i feel like there's a lesson in this story more interesting than iced coffee oh yeah you're drinking your iced coffee um i uh i feel like there might be a lesson in this somewhere my dad is very much like me in that he doesn't like to have clutter he doesn't like to have extra things in the house that you don't need especially unit taskers i would guess and um i the the difference between between us is he's successful in keeping excess objects out of his house while i am not when you when you've when you've said your piece

when you've spoken your truth i actually want to circle back to something that you mentioned yesterday about this very thing that has been jangling around my head for the last 24 hours

i got in here i got your i got his head guys um it worked anyway i hate you because you look different let's really move to the top of the list crashing out of things that you can grab very quickly that drop wait he's crashing out tom brady's crashing out we can talk about that too okay good nice i really do have some questions about the odyssey for you because i've got my tickets for this weekend by the way and i want to i want to know why this movie is controversial uh and also if you'll hold my hand during the previews but we'll get to that in a little bit but i again i'll tell the story quickly because i don't even know if it's a good story and it's not my story it's not my story to tell but i was chatting with my dad casually at one point early in the week before maybe i even met up with you and john last week and i don't know how we got on the subject but maybe maybe i haven't mentioned how tidy everything is in his house which you would agree is incredibly tight so nothing is out of place and uh he could eat off the floors and i did you did and then he got his swiffer out anyway um he mentioned something he kind of gestured towards one area of the kitchen, and he kind of said, yeah, you know, like, Joyce, that's my stepmom, had a salad spinner, and he's like, we just never used it, we got it, and so I finally, I'm getting rid of it, I put it down in the basement, and I'm taking it to Goodwill later this week. I'm sorry, I said a salad spinner, I meant a lettuce spinner, you know, the thing that dries lettuce after you wash it. Now, let me be honest with you, usually when... I always call that a salad spinner. Oh, it is a salad spinner. Okay, it is a salad spinner. Okay, sounds good. So it's a salad spinner or a lettuce spinner. I think you can use either. This is something that I do not have in my house. I think Genevieve had made noise about wanting one at one point, but I was like, I don't. It's just such a unitasker, right? And we are just overflow. Our cupboards are just a goddamn mess, Luke. I have no room for anything. So we don't have one. And sometimes it is a pain because I'm bringing home lettuce that I want to eat right away, and I'm drying it in paper towels. A salad spinner would be useful, but I don't think it would pay off in the long run. Anyway, my dad mentions to me, yeah, we're going to get rid of the salad spinner, you know. We just don't use it. It's down in the basement. What happens a day or two later? Headlines all over the place. Poop disease strikes Midwest. What is carrying it? Lettuce. We went over to our parents' house. We went over to my parents' house. I consider him. Don't get ahead of yourself, Burbank. You know what? I'm having my dad change his phone number so you don't have his text numbers anymore. Hey, Dad.

Andrew's saying you're not my parents.

Bob. No, I call him Dad now. No, no, I call him Bob now. So anyway, the thing is, true story, and he didn't even mention this. I don't know. I just picked up on it, but we came over there, and, of course, you, me, and John went over to my parents' house midweek for a little pizza fest, and they wanted to hang out and meet you guys a little bit, and Dad and Joyce had made a salad for us, right? And, of course, the conversation quickly turned to, is this lettuce safe? and Dad or Joyce had mentioned, oh, yeah, we washed it. We washed it three times just to make sure that—

I had two helpings of salad, by the way.

You did. You went back for it. You live on the edge. And, yeah, it was good. But anyway, but I heard one of them say, yeah, thank God we still had that salad spinner in the basement because we could spin out the salad. And I sort of thought, like, wow, that salad spinner probably sat unused in their kitchen for years, and it was on deck to be outside the house. If there had been a Goodwill run the day before, it wouldn't have been used. But then look what came running to the rescue at the last minute to save us all from diarrhea, but the salad spinner.

This is in some way an argument for maybe not tossing everything so quickly. Now, there's a balance, right? There's definitely holding on to too much stuff. But then there's also having it be something that is, you know, kind of a high, high priority. And I've been thinking about this because of something you mentioned on the show yesterday, which is I left a pen at the Airbnb.

Oh, yeah.

And it's like a pen that says, again, I'm guessing it maybe said the Knickerbocker Hotel on it. I know you said it was a nice pen.

It was a nice pen. It definitely came from a hotel.

I think it was, yes, probably from the Knickerbocker where I was in New York a few weeks ago. And you said something like, oh, you left your, I forget exactly how this story unfolded, but you said you left your pen at the Airbnb.

I grabbed it, and then I said, oh, cool, or something. And then you said, yeah, I gave it to my dad. And then you said, because you rarely come to Seattle, talking about me, which is very true, by the way. And so I thought about you with this pen. And I love that your dad has it, and it's a nice pen for him to have. But I thought it was so funny that you did not want to have this pen in your life any longer than you had to, whether it was bring it back to Seattle and I come get it from you. Well, that was never going to happen. Which would have never happened So then you would have just had this pen at your house But then you could have used the pen Was it the idea of flying the pen back to Seattle Was it the gifting of your dad What was the motivating factor And I don't care about the pen I don't want the pen back But it's such a small item I thought the idea that you were Were you giving the pen to your dad because you were like Oh Bob would enjoy this Or were you giving it to him because you were like I don't want to have this in my life

No kind of neither to be honest with you Oh really door number three It was because I was leaving the Airbnb, and I saw your pen sitting there. In fact, I even saw it. All right, let's back this up a little bit. Beep, beep, beep. Oh, my friend. It's never far. Okay, let me try this. I hate you because you look different. Oh, yeah. I say, what's up, dog? All right, listen. I'm so, I got it. Okay, I'm sorry. You saw it in the Airbnb. be the combination of me not really wanting to have a real conversation today okay if this is going somewhere awkward we don't no no no it's not awkward at all i just clearly i'm having some sort of a day where i don't i'm not having i'm not interested in completing any sentence i'm flittering around like it's not helping that i'm blasting but uh so the truth is the the night before you uh you were packing up your stuff you were ready to go for you had what was scheduled to be a very early morning flight on Monday morning. John Sklaroff had a mid-morning flight on Monday morning. I had a late afternoon flight, which meant I was going to be the last person out of the Airbnb on Monday morning. I know that they said we had to be out strictly at 11 because apparently the cleaners come right at the click of 11. So I was like, fine, I'll get out of here at 10.50. That was my plan. I was going to sleep in late, kind of putter around and stuff. But also, I was planning on staying up late and puttering around. And that is what I like to do there I saw I don't know a comic or a meme or something about this recently and it's amazing how close it hit home like I'm in the Airbnb I'm listening to my podcast it's late on a Sunday night like I have no desire to sit and watch TV or do anything that anybody else would consider entertainment like what I like to do and I just found myself doing without thinking about it was doing dishes and puttering around and cleaning up this and cleaning up that the night before a house cleaner is going to come and clean up after us, right? But it's just like, I don't know, what am I supposed to do with my hands when I listen to a podcast? So I was just in puttering mode. You had just gone upstairs to, you had said goodnight to us and you had just gone upstairs, I think, to- Kind of on the early side. I was on the early side. It was like 9.30 or something. You were going to lay your sweet head to rest. And I noticed right as soon as you left the room that you had left that little money clip thing next to your fancy pen, next to I think one other thing just sitting here. There was no money in it, at least not after I gave it back to you. And no, it was just an empty little money clip that I think you said was actually a napkin holder or something that you grabbed. Yeah, it was a napkin holder at a winery in Sonoma. So I knew it wasn't something that was like, it wasn't like your great-grandfather's golden money clip or anything like that. But I did notice that you were using it in the weeks. I thought, I don't know, maybe he wants this. So I grabbed it off the table and I was going to take it upstairs to you before you went to bed. But I also, I don't know, when you're staying with other people, I also really like to give people their space.

Like, I don't want to be knocking on your door as you're slipping into your PJs or something like that. But you had just left the room. I grabbed this money clip, and I threw it on your bed. You had gone, I think, into your little bathroom. And so I tossed it onto your bed where it looked like you had some other things. But then I came downstairs, and I realized, oh, what was sitting next to that damn thing but your fancy little pen that you probably like, too? I know that you like nice pens. but i didn't feel like taking it back upstairs and i just thought he'll probably see it in the morning and grab it and so cut to the next morning and i see you didn't grab your pen and i thought damn it i should have threw it on his bed with his damn money clip and uh and then as i was leaving the house i was like well i guess it belongs to the housekeeper now or belongs to this airbnb now but then i was like i don't know it's just a nice little pen and i didn't really know what the end game was i just put it in my bag i just slipped it in my bag next to my pen and the thing about me though this is such a long long answer for i i'm the one that brought this up but the the simple answer is i don't use ballpoint pens even nice ballpoint pens like i use like a bick pen i have this very specific like very tiny pointed but like kind of wet you know uh i think they call it a uniball or a unirol roller or unibomber some sort of pen it's this guy

know if you can see it on the screen i've been using call it a kaczynski they certainly do it's a bic uniball and i've been using them for probably 40 or maybe closer to 50 years now because this is the kind of pen my dad used to use and i like to use them now um and so anyway but i didn't want to leave your pen behind so i threw it in my bag and then i am at my parents place i look at that pen and i just think oh maybe my dad would like this pen because i don't think he is is as religious to using the uniball as i am and i said would you like this pen he's like hey hey, you know my dad now. You know him too well. And he's like, hey, hey, look at that. That looks like a nice pen. And then he looked at it. No, look at the sun. He said it was from a hotel. He said, I said, your other son left at the Airbnb. No, so that was it.

Your other disorganized son. It was all very casual.

I just picked it up, threw it in my bag, and then I was like, I don't know. I just couldn't quite bring myself to leave it behind. And then I just thought, oh, this might spark a little joy as I'm standing in the kitchen next to my folks' pen holder.

You know what I mean? I love that explanation. And you're right. It is door number three. It's just because it's not the kind of pen you would make use of. And so you thought maybe your dad would enjoy it or could use it. Not that the pen itself represented a burden. Had it been a really nice pen that was the kind you used, maybe you would bring it back to your house. It was more just that kind of pen.

But contrarily, if it was a really nice pen that weighed 75 pounds, I probably would have left it behind.

That would make sense. Also, you have very good handwriting. And when you, like, label something or when you fill something out, you do it very precisely. So you are the kind of person that I can tell, like, you have the kind of pen you like to use, and it's evident. Whereas if you look around here, you just see, I mean, if you see things that I've written and amended, it's just chicken scratch.

Well, if I see something you've written, there is an 85% chance it also has a piece of balled-up, chewed gum in the corner of it. Yes, yes. Which is your move. Real pick-pen energy. I'm thinking about, like, somebody— Is it because you think you might pick it up and chew it again later? Why are we not putting gum in the garbage can? Why are you always sticking it to the piece of paper you're using?

Well, I'm trying to actually be—first of all, it's that maybe I don't have ready access to a garbage can, because that would be my preferred place to toss it. Or it's that the garbage can doesn't have a liner in it. Like it's a wastebasket, and I would never throw my gum into something like that and have it be something someone would ever have to deal with.

But I would tear, instead of sticking into the piece of paper I'm using, I would tear a corner off of that piece of paper, fold my gum into that paper, then throw it in the garbage can.

Well, it's funny because I think my, I think what I think I'm doing consciously, and maybe I'm not, is I think I'm putting the gum down on the paper and then folding a corner of the paper over. But maybe I don't do that. And if I'm not doing that, I need to work on it.

I don't think you're doing that, yeah.

That's gross. I don't want anyone to have to see my gum or think about my gum or interact with my gum.

Why is it always bloody? What's going on with you?

That's honestly a HIPAA violation for you to ask me that.

I'm sorry.

My apologies. That's a DIPAA violation, which is the dental version of HIPAA.

It's probably cranberry juice.

I'm going to the dentist. I'm getting a full workup in a couple of weeks, in like a couple of Fridays from now, it was the two, basically I like, I was like, I need to go back to the doctor. And what I really need to do is I need to get my, um, skin checked, like for moles that may or may not be ominous. Sure. Um, but, and with, with Kaiser, and I'm sure this is the case with a lot of these large healthcare concerns. Now you can't just make an appointment with a dermatologist. You have to go see, uh, you know, a primary doctor or maybe nurse practitioner and then they look at your skin and they go, whoa, then they refer you.

They're like Kevin at the United States Postal Service who just said, oh, no. Yeah, you need to get an official oh, no from them.

Oh, no is uh-oh. Uh-oh. And then that's the referral to a dermatologist. So I'm going to do that. But it was the soonest that I could schedule, this is as of a few weeks ago, as soon as I could schedule the initial intake was August the 7th. And then, um, I also, I'm going to get my teeth cleaned and looked at, and that was also only available on August 7th and one's in the early morning and one's in the mid afternoon. So what I'm going to do is go down, get the physical workup, go to Becca's, do the show with you. This is August 7th, normal time, and then head back out because the, uh, it happens at the Kaiser facility is much closer to Portland than it is to where I live. the one that I'm going to. But the big question is, am I going to be honest with the dentist about a small amount of, and it is still relatively small amount of tooth pain that I'm having in one of my rear molars? I think I mentioned this on the show a couple of weeks ago. The last time I was having my teeth cleaned, they were just doing a general dental check and they had me biting down. Actually, I'd never done this before. Has this happened when you go to the dentist? this little like plastic um i don't know what you call it dowel or something like it's a little kind of plastic um device that you bite down on and you're supposed to report to them if you're feeling any discomfort you ever had that no this was my first time for it um it's almost like a toothbrush but it doesn't have the bristles on it just imagine that and so and and you know so i'm biting down on it it's fine fine fine and then i get to the very back oh no left side of my mouth and I bite down and I feel a minimal amount of discomfort, but some discomfort because I'm a weirdo. I do not report the discomfort because I don't want them to say, you need a crown. I would have done the same damn thing. Because I've heard those are really expensive. In fact, I think Becca's getting one. And even with her coverage, like she said, oh, good news. I found out that like Kaiser is going to cover this crown. I think she also has Kaiser. And they cover 80% of the crown. It was like, oh, that's awesome. And yet her part of the bill is still $900 Oh jeez Louise So that's 20% of the crown Is $900 And so I don't even know if I have As good, I probably don't have as good A health care as she does, even though we're both With Kaiser, I have public radio I have live wire health care

Even the tutors don't pay that much for a crown And so I don't get that I think the tutors are the royal family Is that the name of the royal family? Who's the royal family? Is that the royal family?

Wait, that's the name? That's the actual name?

No, that's the old royal. God, I'm so freaking dumb. Who are the Tudors? Are they the current royal family? No, that was a long time ago. That ended in the 1600s.

Well, that wasn't that long ago, okay? In your defense.

Not the 1600s of TBTL episodes. I mean the 1600s. Oh, that literal? Oh, yeah, no, that's a long time ago.

No, that is a long. But so again, it's like, I don't know what my plan is here to continue misleading dental professionals so that I don't get this expensive procedure, which by the way, I'm allowed to, they're allowed to say, Hey, we recommend this crown. And I'm allowed to say, no, I don't want to pay for it. Like, I don't know. They can't, they're not going to force me to do it. So why not give them full disclosure? It's, you know, but for some reason It's like, I feel like if they know Then they're going to tell me I need to get the crown done And then I'm going to They're going to force me or something

Hey, can I ask you a really quick favor here Can you say something again About how expensive the crown is? Yeah, it's about Well, it was $900

It was 20% of it Even the Windsors don't pay that much

For the crown

Oh my god, you are absolutely right You're talking about King King Charles, you're talking about Camilla.

Sometimes I'm just on it, you know? You're talking about the other one. The other one. Andrew, but we don't really talk about Andrew, I think.

Probably not Andrew. Is Andrew still on the Windsor health coverage?

That's the real question.

Was he kicked off, and did they have Cobra? When they kicked Andrew, when Andrew stopped being a prince, and they kicked him off of the Windsor health coverage,

did he have six months of coverage he's on whatever the what you know the british have a different word for cobra i believe yeah he's on the lift he's on the lorry um did you ever go

on cobra boy this is no what a show on a wednesday i've been very fortunate in that way that i have not had to go on cobra i think i've been on it because for those that don't know uh i don't know So is that, is that, is that like a federal law or a state law when you're, when you have health coverage and then you're laid off, I think from a place, I don't know if it counts if you're fired, but I think I remember being like when I was laid off from KUOW and I think even went, well, no, I was fired from Cairo. So I wasn't, I was fired for incompetency of not having a popular enough radio show. But I believe when I left KUOW, I was eligible for COBRA. And that was the health care that my first ex-wife and I had because because I was the one with the health care coverage. And that's so you can pay some somewhat nominal fee for like X amount of time so that you don't just go right from being covered to like having no cover.

Well, you know, I was just as you were saying that we used to talk about Cobra all the time. I know that's like it's like a bridge covered situation until you kind of figure out what where your next coverage is coming from. And as you were kind of bringing this up, I was like, oh, yeah, it's COBRA. What is the use of COBRA during, you know, during this period of time where we have Obamacare or whatever, Affordable Care Act? But anyway, what I didn't realize was, so COBRA stands for Continuation of Health Coverage. I don't know exactly why. I think they were playing a little fast and loose with the let's see here. The Consolidated On-the-Bus Budget Reconciliation Act is actually what COBRA stands for. But it's a continuation of health coverage. But here's what's different.

about it that i never quite realized it gives the worker in their family the chance to continue the same health care benefits that they were getting through their current employer so in other words it's not a different plan you can just like keep on rolling so whatever you paid for with your current plan you can keep that rolling for a small period of time which i believe is like maybe six months or maybe it's a year i'm not exactly sure about that so i don't know if you knew about

that little dazzling detail of it i i didn't know the specifics of it but it also just feels like you're right part of it is that there's the affordable care act or obamacare which uh before being gutted um of late uh provided maybe a little bit more of a kind of a safety net for folks whereas you know in back in the battle days when i was like getting laid off by kuow there wasn't any there really wasn't a public insurance option in the same way unless i was on like medicaid or medicare i guess so i wondered if cobra has like kind of gone away because of the affordable care act but probably not uh under the trump administration they've rolled out something called destro which is d's employees sure uh t what starts with t wait sure to think sure think rotten regret out ordering Trump. The last T is silent. It didn't work as well as BDSM, but we went there. The Windsors would love that joke. Yes, they sure would. But not, what's his name too, Harry, who's also kind of on the out. That's the big question. Is Harry still on King Charles' cell phone plan?

Are we

no longer framily? Yeah, right. That's the big question. I guess that they've, I don't know, sort of mended their bridges.

Yeah, they seem like they're in good terms. Didn't they celebrate a birthday together or something? I feel like they're talking.

I don't know. I see little headlines here and there, but I don't follow it quite closely enough. I feel like that was the high watermark for BS Podcasts was when they gave Harry and Meghan $20 million to do a podcast they never did. Did they do one episode? I think they did maybe one episode.

I mean, they did do a podcast. That is true. If you think about it, we're giving you $20 million to do a podcast, and they took that very literally.

Meanwhile, you got Spotify laying off everybody they hired from Gimlet, who they could have funded for 10 years, all of those people, for one Harry and Meghan podcast episode.

Now, I hesitate to bring this up because, to be honest with you, I haven't been following it closely, but it seems like something you might be more plugged into than I am. But have you been following these layoffs at ESPN? Apparently there are major layoffs happening over at ESPN. And there seems to be some anger towards the fact that like they're allocating a lot of resources to like people like Pat McAfee and what have you.

Yeah, I think the Stephen A. Smiths and the Pat McAfee's of the world, of the ESPN world, have consolidated all of the salaries. And so now it's like there's not as much money for the Ryan Clarks, who is a football analyst, who I actually thought was pretty good. In fact, Ryan Clark has kind of an inspiring story of becoming a pro football player. He was not a shoo-in in the league. I think he was he came out of college he was maybe undrafted and he was trying out for teams not making it and then I think was working as like a sort of one of the like graduate coaches or assistant coaches at a college program he's working in some college program but still working out so he was like trying to integrate into like post football life and I think I just told the story that like his his wife basically said I will figure out how to support our family while you go for this dream and then he got in the league and then he played for a long time all that is to say Ryan Clark was informed During a broadcast That he was laid off He was on the air live

What who does that Disney

Yeah The ghost of Walt Disney

Mickey Mouse came out I don't understand why Who would ever do that I mean even from I'm flabbergasted Putting aside the human element of it Which I think Disney is quick to do Why would you create that kind of drama and laying off somebody who is a face of your network.

The story goes that somebody got a hold of this list of people who were about to be laid off by ESPN, on-air people. That was the big thing. And somebody got a hold of the list, and the list was about to be published, and they didn't want – I'm not defending ESPN for this. What you do is you don't send Ryan Clark into work on a Monday when you know you're going to lay him off on Tuesday. You have a meeting with him and you say, you know, we're sorry. but we're going to be ending your contract. So the idea was that, like, the news was going to get out, and they didn't want Ryan Clark to, like, read it on his phone on air. So they pulled him off air mid-broadcast or something. But, again, that was poorly handled going into it. Also, I think it was Carl Ravitch is out, one of their main baseball guys, and I think Verducci also. It's not anybody who's, like, the first names that come to mind when you think of ESPN, but if you watch a lot of it, and if you've been watching it for a long time, there are names that people recognize and it is yeah because what espn is they have bet big on pat mcafee and they have bet big on stephen a smith and and that's where they think the future of the network is and uh and so there's a lot of other people they don't have money for now or at

least they say they don't have money for and i see it is the headline i'm seeing from the hollywood reporter which of course covers a different industry says disney cutting hundreds more jobs uh and pixar and nat geo are apparently taking the brunt of a lot of these layoffs as well which I had not been hearing so much about because I guess I don't follow people who are deep into those weeds.

Yeah, Pixar is laying off that lamp that jumps on the P at the beginning of Pixar. In fact, they pulled him. He was midway through smashing down the P in the Pixar intro. I'm guessing you have no idea what I'm talking about.

No, I do know what you're talking about. Oh, really? What I'm trying to figure out is if I should raise, if I should call you and raise you a similar thing, which is not really related to Pixar, but I always think of, do you remember hearing about a commercial that went viral probably like 15 or 20 years ago? And it wasn't for Pixar, but it was for Ikea. But it sort of featured a lamp very much like the Pixar lamp. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

They were selling – it was an ad for Ikea that had, like, their version or sort of a knockoff.

It just featured a lamp very much like that lamp. And I think that it's not a coincidence that they used a lamp that maybe already sort of, like, would – In the culture. Well, a lamp that already maybe had some sort of an emotional, you know, connection connected to it. Because the commercial for Ikea – and I'm doing this off the top of my dome, and I really want to Google it. And maybe you can be my man on the computer for this one. Type in. Yep, I've got it. Ikea commercial. and it was this one minute long commercial where you see somebody using the lamp and like enjoying the lamp but then they put it out by the curb. I think that like maybe they're moving or something and maybe it's a young person. They put it out of the curb and then the commercial is one of those kind of classic tropes of like you see the lamp at the curb through all kinds of weather and maybe the season's changing and there's sad music playing and it looks like the Pixar lamp and you sort of feel bad for it and then at the end of the day or at the end of the commercial A truck comes and I think picks up the lamp and it just goes right into the trash. And then at the end, you hear a voice just say, what are you crying about? It's just lamp. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

You got this so right, my friend. I'm watching this commercial right now. Can we hear the audio? I'm going to, let's see. I don't know if this is going to play. We're going to get audio. So it's the music, the dramatic music. So the lamp is still out on the curb. You had it exactly right. It's like a college kid or something, maybe a recent college grad. okay great they go they grab this red lamp that is very pixar coated they put it out on the curb it's going through the different seasons as you mentioned and so we're we're about 37 seconds into the commercial now lamp is sitting sadly out on the curb there's a new lamp in the house i actually

honestly like the old lamp better many of you feel bad for this lamp that is because you're crazy It has no feelings, and the new one is much better.

There you go.

That's how they're advertising their new line of lamps or something?

Yeah. You couldn't be more right. Well, this guy who's just getting drenched.

Oh, he's actually in the frame.

He's outside. He's outside. He's on the curb where the lamp is, and he's just totally drenched. And he's just saying to the camera, why are you feeling bad? Let's put that one more time because it's a little accented here. He is saying, let's see here. We got this one.

many of you feel bad for this lamp that is because you're crazy it has no feelings

and the new one is much better now i would i i mean i think it's that's very clever of them i would say the the new lamp is much worse i i don't remember what the new lamp looks like the pixar lamp is way better than the new one the new one is very like and by new because you said this is probably very old well 2007 right so that's when you're seeing it posted to youtube that's when this was posted to youtube before that yeah yeah so what they were doing is like well i don't know i'm a traditionalist at this point about almost everything including marriage okay it's adam and steve not adam and new ikea

lamp um no but like the i like the the so-called pixar looking lamp that's out on the curb and the new one has a little bit more it's a longer more thin neck it kind of goes to a sort of more tulip kind of lamp shade and it's one of those things that's kind of early 2000 it's probably supposed to be a little more futuristic looking but i don't like things that are supposed to look more futuristic generally speaking from just a design standpoint i've got i've got eyes on the

There's a Wikipedia page just for this commercial. I knew it was a very famous commercial, and so it was 2002. Okay, so even older. I just think when we're talking about design, it's worth sort of noting where we were as a culture then, too. Yeah, absolutely.

Hello, and welcome to Top Story. The Odyssey is getting rave reviews, and you've got tickets to see it already?

Yeah, Genevieve mentioned yesterday, she said, you know, I really want to see The Odyssey. And I said, well, what about a matinee this weekend? Because I think it's still maybe going to still be pretty hot here. And she's like, okay. And so she was looking at, and also because I had, you know, the last two weekends were pretty busy for me with travel and everything. I haven't had just sort of a really low-key weekend in a while. So I didn't want to sign up for any kind of evening plans, but absolutely, you know, a midday showing of The Odyssey. It's a long movie, too. This is kind of a side point here, but I'm looking forward to Saturday. Oh, I should save it for big weekend plans. You know what? I'm going to keep my powder dry. But anyway, we are going to go see, by the way, be prepared to be underwhelmed by what I was about to say, but it sounds better with the music behind me, so I'll hold off for Friday on that. But we are going to go see a Saturday matinee of the movie, and it got me thinking, so I'm on Blue Sky a lot, and sometimes I just sort of mindlessly scroll through it. And obviously something I'm picking up on and something that you mentioned at the top of the show is like somehow there's a culture war around this movie. And I just sort of see a bunch of like liberals dunking on really stupid things conservatives are saying on other platforms about it. And it's kind of like that. I just don't get involved in a lot of that. But I never stopped to think until you were introducing the topic at the beginning of the show. Why is there a culture war about this movie? Like, why do conservatives not like The Odyssey? Because I think that the ticket sales are good. I thought people were going to see it, but you have Elon Musk whining about it or something. Do you know?

I think, yeah, I think it's because they think that the multicultural casting is too woke of like a, what, 10,000-year-old story? Because they feel- In, like, Greece, where I assume, you know, many people from parts, you know what I mean, from, like, the sort of equatorial, I don't know, lands of this world and sub-Saharan Africa and the Mediterranean, et cetera, were probably all kind of converging. I think the idea is that, I think it has Zendaya in it, right? Okay. And it's like the Odyssey cast.

But don't we know, I mean, don't, and I don't want to take their side because that's pretty gross, but we know that Cyclops was white, right? Well, yeah, white and straight. As Obama said in our intro package, that's science. These are facts. Of course it's about race. Like, what?

Well, it's not. But, Andrew, but hold on. It's not just about race. It's also about college swimming. Because Elliot Page is cast as a soldier. Oh, I don't know how Elliot Page is in this. Elliot Page is cast as a soldier, and that is very much, very much freaking people out because Elliot Page was at a different time known as Ellen Page. The good news is I've actually forgotten what their name used to be. Yeah, right. Elliot Page is a trans man and is one of the soldiers in this. And that is just absolutely too much to bear for some people who not only longtime college swimming fans, but longtime students of the exact vibe of the soldiers depicted in the Odyssey.

That, yeah. This is just so stupid. It's not even worth wasting time. Speaking of Elliot Page, I remember it was probably literally like Charlie Kirk or somebody like that who posted this. And again, I think one of the problems with the left on social media is they spend too much time clipping the hateful and just frustrating things that people on the right are saying and then resharing them and then getting spun up about it. You know what I mean? Like, I shouldn't know. Why would I care what somebody like Charlie Kirk said about Elliot Page a long time, like 10 years ago? Why should I care about that? Why is this living my brain? it shouldn't and i i'm mad that i sort of take the the bait on this stuff but somebody like some culture warrior like that on the right apparently posted a photo of elliott page like post transition and then a photo pre-transition and i'm with you i don't even i don't even remember what elliot page's dead name is so no need to try to rack our brain for it but whatever it was but the photo was look what they took away from us in other words i think the idea being that elliot page was so so beautiful in their mind but i just remember all these people being like who is they first of all what did who is they what look what they took away from us and also what did you have did you have elliot page like what are you talking about were you were you gooning yeah to to juno yeah right now you can't you still juno's still there goon away goons like that is no not a show title by the way anyway even i knew that was the show title this is like one of those things where like here i am getting spun up about like some social media post that lives in my head from years and years and years ago that i shouldn't even seen it was just like you know like somebody was outraged by it so then i see it and now i'm outraged by it but it is kind of a reminder of that mindset of those awful people by the way

Lupita Nyong'o is also in the movie I think um as well another another person that has the these culture warriors upset but you're you know you're absolutely right it's like it's like there I actually this is I'm being reminded of this and why we give this any oxygen who knows but it's like there's something about the fact that Elliot Page was perceived by certain people when when he was you know in his previous identity as cute it's just like a double whammy for folks it's like if elliott page would have been considered gross or not cute yeah in their eyes yeah then we wouldn't be as sad about it look what they took look what they took from us we can't even have juno anymore yeah right so it's such a yeah it's a completely weird thing but But and in fact, when I don't know how closely you were listening, but like I started to say at the beginning, like everyone's going to see the Odyssey. But it's like I don't really know if everyone's going to see the Odyssey. What I know is that it has had as far as the the film reviewers that I tend to read and the headlines that I tend to see, whether it's Richard Brody in the in the New Yorker or Manola Dargis writing in The New York Times, the places that I look to see what people think about movies. It has been pretty incredibly unanimously glowing about this film, which I have to say, for a movie of its length and ambition and IMAX-ery, you want to talk about looks-maxing? This is IMAX-ing. Has anybody done that? Not a show title. I feel like that's something there. But anyway, like it's such an it sounds like such an ambitious film. And like, it's just such a big swing that I could have I could have also just seen the reviews being like this is just thing collapses under its own attempt, its own weight. But that is not what people are saying. At least, again, the people that I read, I don't know what Gutfeld saying over on the five.

It's you don't. I turned off. It looks like it had a really good opening box office domestically, and that's what you want. It says it earned $123.5 million domestically. I just don't know how to put that into context, though. And then the article I'm reading, the headline from Forbes, which dropped on Tuesday, is the box office remains strong, earning another $8.6 million on Monday. So, yeah, it seems like the box office is strong. So, yeah, I think. Oh, you know, that's another thing I saw. Do you remember how you, again, I hate myself for bringing this up. Do you remember how there was like the, oh gosh, what was the movie that supposedly the MAGA people were like buying tickets up for just so that it had good sales?

I feel like there's been, unfortunately, too many. Was it some Mel Gibson nightmare?

You know what I think it was? I think it was, it was the documentary about Melania Trump, maybe. Oh, right, right, right.

That was an Amazon deal, right? Yes. I think Prime put that out. They paid all this money. Before the election. For the rights to the movie. And then just pumped a massive amount of promotion into it. More than has ever been put into a quote-unquote documentary.

Yes. And just a reminder, that money exchange, that signing of this massive deal with the Trumps was pre-election, too. It's just like it's just so, so gross how Amazon was just like winning favor with Bezos is just like buying favor. Anyway, it's just the whole thing is so gross. But anyway, I just remember a bunch of people like kind of taking photos of like kind of the box office sales, but also like actually showing the theater maps and all the empty seats or whatever. Well, now apparently there is a conspiracy theory.

on the right and i don't know how well spread it is or if i just happen to stumble on the the wrong tweet or whatever but apparently people on the right are claiming that people on the left are like buying extra tickets just to fill just so the box office yes so the box office stays strong but it's like in this economy there are many reports of people showing up and they there was only two seats left but then they were the only people in the theater because the left wants this to be such a success i'm like this is just a three i mean it's a christopher nolan movie i I didn't I couldn't I didn't see how a historic epic could be like so strong in the culture war of, you know, them versus us, whichever side of that you find yourself on.

Yeah, it is a very, very strange movie for it to be have any sort of like political valence. Yeah, it's from a million years ago. It is a Homeric myth, right?

Yes. And it's literally a myth. So, like, the casting is so ridiculous. Right, exactly. Anyway, you know, I'm sorry that I brought it there. I just wanted some clarification and maybe to foam some of that off. But actually, knowing that I am going to go see this film on Saturday. Or are you? Or did you just buy tickets to own the right? That's a really good point. Take that.

We are Charlie Kirk.

Oh, my God. All right. So my question for you, though, is what is up with this trailer you told me about? Do I have to show up late in my seat so that I'm not scared by the trailer?

Maybe I'll play this. I don't know if this is going to, you know, it's, how do I put it? Seeing one of these, seeing or listening to a trailer for a scary movie might not quite have the impact of like, you know, watching it because of jump scares and just, again, the visual versus the auditory.

Is he going to have a pop song from the 2000s, super, super slowed down? Not in this trailer that I remember.

You know what I'm talking about, though, right? That thing. That trope.

Yeah.

This is like, a little kid is coming home.

Why do you build me up? That would be next level. My buddy always wanted to do an emo version of this. It's a slowed down, hang on, Sloopy.

okay sorry to interrupt um so it's like uh it's like a kid i think it's so actually what it is jessica chastain is the is the mom in this right the movie's called other mommy and i think uh she's she's sort of coming home at lunch like lunchtime and her kid is home from school like maybe unexpectedly and the kid is hiding a thing of ice cream behind her back like a thing of briar's ice cream like that she was having for lunch you know that means she's kind of not supposed to be be having ice cream for lunch anyway here let's just play a little bit hey sweetie you're home

i had a lunch break i thought i'd come home and eat with you where's dad she fell asleep in the office i'll go get him let him sleep he needs his rest so you know the kid's kind of backing into

the kitchen kind of holding the ice cream behind their back i don't know if you can make out that

dialogue yeah i can totally hear it okay okay cool here we go cookie dough ice cream for lunch What kind of mother would I be? How about scrambled eggs? I had that for breakfast. That's right. I forgot. How about pasta? Your favorite. Do you want to know something silly? Yes. Sometimes I think about when you and I were one person. Do you remember that? So I was a baby in your tummy? Do you remember where you were before that? No.

you were in my heart water boils loudly the pasta is now fully burned on the stove the hair on my i don't even know what's coming and you're not even seeing i gotta give jessica chastade jessica chastade is somehow for reasons we don't understand yet terrifying to look at even though she is very put together very presenting of you know whatever you want to call it normalcy but it's just like there's just something underneath all of this that's not right

can i go into your heart

you said you wouldn't leave my room you see the kid says you said you wouldn't leave my room

you seemed lonely

what were you cooking this is the dad played by uh jay duplass by the way oh really and i'm

assuming we don't see the mom in the kitchen anymore uh well andrew need a grown-up to help Kind of, because now the mom. is under the kitchen island like a weird ass spider lady oh no big old jump scare and uh so yeah somehow other mommy this is like this kid has created some other mommy uh who is uh pretty uh pretty scary and then i think towards the end of the trailer uh she's talking to the real mommy like the real mommy comes home and is confused and anyway that's other mommy it's you know to to the degree that the audio was scary, boy, the video, more scary. And people are saying, hey, I came to see The Odyssey, and this trailer is too scary. Why are you showing us a horror movie trailer when we didn't sign up for a horror movie? I guess I hadn't thought about it that way, but I guess there was a kind of an unspoken agreement that the trailers that you get are going to be for the kind of film, for films that are similar to the film you're watching.

Oh, yeah, you don't ever get, I can't tell you how many times in my life I've turned to Genevieve and just like, oh, no, like, what are we watching? Like, in other words, if you don't know a lot about the movie that you're sitting down to watch, and then you see a bunch of trailers. The canary in the coal mine. And you see a bunch of trailers that are just like schlock or like something like, for me, it would be like a whole bunch of like really corny biopics and be like, what, who do they think we are? This is a bad sign for the movie we're about to watch. Yeah, that's a really good point.

It's kind of the first indicator of the film that you – I mean, supposed to be of the film that you are watching is the trailers that you're also seeing.

It's a good sign. Like, if I sit down to watch a movie and, like, all the trailers are, like, obviously a bunch of A24 stuff or a bunch of period pieces or anything like that, like, then – or if Emma Stone is in the one, I'm like, okay, they know me. By the way, is it still a thing? I did. Yeah. I think we had discussed it on the show I mostly like begonia but am I just remembering is Emma Stone Emma Stone wanted to be called Emily Stone do you remember this whole thing no I can't remember didn't Emma Stone officially

what about the Emma man grill that her dad was trying to sell in the 80s

there was a lawsuit about that I believe it looks like Emma Stone maybe I'm Maybe I'm making that up Maybe I'm confusing this with something else By the way, I'm considering naming the show today Zero Dark Mommy Just because of the chest stain of it all Oh, right, because she was in Zero Dark Thirty Yeah, that was my joke there And I just have a feeling that in years go by When I try to remember the scary trailer That you played for me I'm going to remember it as Zero Dark Mommy But yeah, I don't know Let's hear it Oh yeah, what is up with the Emma slash Emily Stone name thing But this was from two years ago So it might have been something that passed.

You want to know what is so deeply wrong with me, Andrew? It finally took us 4,776 episodes to get to this. Yeah, I have a list. Or did you, was this rhetorical? I don't think the list is necessary, okay? Okay, go ahead. I find it hurtful that you laminated it. I'll let you take it from here then. No, I actually think I may have even talked about this in the past, but I am such a fan of Emma Stone's acting work, and I think she's just great. again god i thought begonia was just like such a good movie i saw it way after the curve of i mean i saw it like i don't know five six months ago i just watched it here kind of randomly you know as opposed to like maybe when it was getting more attention i somehow miraculously it had not been spoiled for me either which i will not do here as well but um so i really like emma stone so much but like at some point i found out through i don't know the internet or i wasn't looking for this information but i found out that she grew up tremendously wealthy oh yeah father owns i think a number of golf courses in arizona or maybe one very profitable golf course and like it is not anymore emma stone's quote-unquote fault that she grew up with means that's just how her life went she didn't she didn't do that it just was her life and that she then has gone on to be a really really talented actor and like i like that but it does bother me it bothers me and it should because that's how big of a goddamn chip i have on my shoulder about that stuff which i like intellectually and spiritually i i know that that doesn't matter and that like the particular circumstances of my childhood were not in any way my doing any more than the circumstances of emma stone's childhood were her doing and yet i can't ever shake that from my mind well i don't like that about myself

i think that you were only possibly kidding on the square when we walked through my old high school which i went to a pretty fancy high school andrew i was so joking about that it was legit funny but like I was looking at my high school for the first time in a long time. It's like, you know, the building itself was built sometime, I believe, in, I want to say, late 1800s, early 1900s. It's like an old, like, college, like, stone tower building that has then been built out by the Jesuits, and it's a very, very kind of fancy-looking place. And I was very lucky to go there, and I'll be the first one to always say that. My parents took care of the tuition there and everything. It was great. And I had a good education for going there. I actually thought it was really funny. But I also believe there's some truth in what you said. Boy, knowing you went here, I expect a little bit more of you, essentially. No, no, no. I promise you.

Here's – well, let me unpack that a little bit. First of all, that campus was just – Yeah, it's gorgeous. Really, very beautiful place. And very much like you step onto the campus and you just feel like learning is in the air. And it just had a very strong educational kind of energy to it. And I think really what I meant was you're not a snob having gone there. Like, when I think about you, actually, you know, it's very weird. I was thinking about you today on my jog. Like I said, Andrew, you live. Unfortunately, what happened was you moved into my head a long time ago under rent control. So you've just been living there. It's not rent-free, but it's way below market.

And the notice you have to give me if you want me to move out. I don't like it.

Honestly, I feel like you have too many rights as a tenant in my mind. I'm a squatter. But the reason I was thinking about you is because I was listening to, I was listening to, I think maybe Ezra Klein talking about China policy or something. And I was thinking about how sometimes when you and I get into conversations about politics, you're always very self-deprecating. You're always very like, well, I don't really follow this. But then you will often say stuff that indicates to me that you actually really do know some stuff about these things. And whether it's you're just reading the New York Times or that you're listening to a different set of politics podcast than I am or whatever. It's like you actually know more stuff than you give yourself credit for. And you're more read in on a lot of things than you would ever self-identify as being read in on. That's what I was thinking about today. But for all that, you don't come off as in any way snobby or elitist. And when I walked on the campus of St. Ignatius, I thought, wow, this could have produced a different Andrew. because this place is really nice and it really does seem like it produces potentially some very studious smart sort of erudite people and while i do think you are actually smart and you are like i said read in on more topics than you really give yourself credit for you don't come off as snobbish at all and i could have seen that if i would have gone to that high school andrew

i would be even more insufferable that'd be the first thing you tell her i you know genevieve denies this, and I say this with all love, and it has happened in a while, but Genevieve went to Wellesley, which is a very, I consider that to be a very elite school as far as education is concerned, and for people who don't know, it's an all-women's school in Massachusetts. Produced Hillary Clinton, I believe, right? Exactly, amongst others. I call her my other mommy. I call her my Zero Dark Mommy. Just really trying to make that work. We should have a name for something. I just love that Zero Dark Thirty is a Jessica

Chastain film to you.

Well, isn't it? Isn't she sort of the lead? I mean, she is the person who...

Well, I guess I would think of the Marines. I would think of SEAL Team 6 as the lead. But I think the film focuses on her. Did she make the call? I haven't seen Zero Dark Thirty.

I have, but I only saw it in the theater when it first came out, which was a long time ago. I think it came out in, like, I think I saw it in, like, 2000. I think of it as a James Gandolfini film. I like the idea of thinking Zero Dark Thirty came out before 9-11, which is what my joke was there. but anyway I do think that it really I do think it focuses on her as one of the main investigators

she's the first when you look up Zero Dark Thirty cast literally the first person so you're not crazy for thinking

and for me it was probably the movie that cemented that name in my head I don't know if I'd seen her in films or whatever but I associate her with that you're right I was wrong anyway I don't even know what I was saying before but And sure. Well, Wellesley. Oh, yeah. Oh, and I do think that when I when I first met Genevieve and I will say like I met Genevieve when we were fresh out of college, like fresh out of college. Right. So, of course, you're going to be reflecting the thing that you were just doing or whatever. But I would tease her and she would deny it. But I swear to God, whenever she would meet somebody new, I could have a countdown clock in my head before it came up that she went to Wellesley. I felt like it did loom large, but also I'm saying that with utter love and also I probably would have done the same thing. That is a huge formative thing for you, especially when you're six to 12 months out from that experience.

It's the pad from which you just launched.

Exactly. Well said.

sure even i you know i think the university of washington is a fine institution it's an institution that if i were a high school graduate right now i would not be getting into i i went there when they didn't have nearly as rigorous standards for who they let in but like i'm sure that even i in the year post graduating from college had a lot more conversations about well when i was in college you know back when i was in college i'm sure it was coming up a lot for me and And that's from a university that I didn't take any particular pride in. I didn't know David Sedaris was a Kent State guy.

You know, if I knew that, I forgot, too. Now, he's a bit older than me, but not. Oh, he didn't graduate, though, right? Didn't he just bop in there for a year or something? I remember reading maybe something about that in Naked or something.

Maybe so, yeah. In his latest book of essays, he talks about, it's an essay about a friend of his who he's maintained a friendship with. I guess it was sort of his college girlfriend. This was before he was publicly out, I guess. And they've maintained a friendship all these years. And she often travels with him and helps him kind of run his book tour and things like that. But he's mentioning in that essay talking about their time together at Kent State. And I just thought, wow, I did not know he was a Kent State person.

It says he transferred there and then dropped out in 1977. So I think it was a brief stint, which is maybe why I don't think of him as a...

I would still claim him. If I was a golden flash, I would claim Andrew Walsh and Julian Edelman.

I was going to say Edelman you just brought up, which I don't even know if I remembered that before you brought it up yesterday. He was a quarterback at Kent State, right? Really? And that would have been probably when I was there, right?

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I don't know. I'm not that good on him. And then I also feel like we were having that whole conversation about converted quarterbacks yesterday. Belichick converted quarterbacks. or at least maybe not all even converted quarterbacks, but just like a certain kind of player that he loved to put in the slot. And I still feel like I was forgetting one. I was talking about Edelman. I was talking about maybe Danny Woodhead. And I feel like there was one, there's one more guy that I'm, I can't remember, but, and it was also living rent controlled in my head yesterday, but I think that ship has now sailed.

So apparently now this is AI overview because I'm not finding a good simple list online. And I don't trust this AI Overview stuff. But AI Overview is giving me Arsenio Hall and Steve Harvey?

Yes. I always forget about Arsenio Hall playing slot back for Big Belichick.

These are Ken's secrets. Drew Carey makes sense. And I didn't know about this. Jeff Richmond, the person who did all the music. Is married to Tina Fey? Yeah, I thought they were married. I was going to say that, but I wasn't sure. But the 30 Rock, the guy who made all the music for 30 Rock.

And I think for Kimmy Schmidt and for Kimmy Schmidt, longtime collaborator with his wife, Tina Fey, here's what I'll say about Jeff Richman's contribution to the pop culture. When I'm watching 30 Rock or watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, I find the music perfection. It really helps kind of set the tone and move things along. It's a major bummer for audio drops. Yeah. Release the Snyder cut. Right. The dry cut. Can we release a version of those shows, sans, all of the kind of, like, music under them that makes them kind of maybe not as great for audio drops? Not that we've let that stop us, and not that there's been an underuse of Kimmy Schmidt and or 30 Rock drops on this show, but, you know, can we get the, what do you call it, when they do that, like, for DJs, when they just release the stems or something, Can we just get the stems, please?

Hey, I got Joshua Cribs, future, well, I guess now past, but when he was at Kent, future Cleveland Brown, Josh Cribs was apparently a graduate of Kent State University. Colin Farrell, but a different Colin Farrell.

You mentioned Josh Cribs when we were having one of our conversations in Ohio, and I don't know how this buff guy escaped my radar. I did not know anything about him as a Cleveland Brown.

He was, I thought he was pretty good. Did Josh end up, did he suffer the Madden curse? No, he didn't. That's a different Brown, but let's see here. I thought Josh Cribs, he was a really speedy kickoff returner, I believe. Well, he looks like another guy who came in as a quarterback

but then was converted to play something else.

Maybe you can do some research on that. But, yeah, I think he was a pretty star Cleveland Brown for the time that I was watching, 2005 to 2012, it looks like.

and then so he's tied for the second most nfl career record with eight kick returns for touchdown there you go that's in a speedy man yeah that's actually that's really incredible like that's that's like uh devon hester territory like eight but he was yeah you he was a uh

I think he was a quarterback who just was so kind of athletic that they that they, you know, recast him as a kick returner. And boy, that's incredible. Three time pro bowler to 2007, 2009, 2012. It's like what's going on for me in those years that I'm not tracking Josh Cribs. I wonder if that coincided with me. No, I was living in Seattle because I was trying to think, well, let's talk about the most boring way into the analytics of this. i was just wondering if there was a period of time where i was less locked in on football it would have probably been when i was living in los angeles because i you know it's not a seahawks town i'm moving around a lot uh across the country i'm going to dc and new york for npr it's sunny out if i'm in la i'm just not i'm not paying for the package like seahawks football is not the top of my brain at that point and then as i end up moving back to the pacific northwest i end up locking back in. It doesn't explain why I didn't know Josh Cribs, but I'm very surprised I didn't know about the guy who was the second most kick returns for touchdowns in the NFL.

Michael Keaton, the actor, and Don King, the promoter, both went to Kent State only in America, but both dropped out apparently. So it sounds like the key is enroll at Kent State, but then

drop out. That's the move.

That's the Sedaris move. Hemingway went to Kent State. This is Robert Hemingway, of course, I'm talking about. former chancellor at the university of kentucky and the university of kansas still though say

he said robert hemingway said bankruptcy starts very fast and then very slowly just keeps moving

faster and faster and faster faster yeah yeah okay i'll stop naming names here i go once again with

the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female

All right, my friend. Emails, V-mails.

Yeah, I got another Dave-related voicemail, but I'm going to hold on to that for a second. I thought this one just sparked— Dave's, I know. This just sparked some joy for me.

Hi, Luke and Andrew. This is listener Megan in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I was just calling because I was listening to Luke talk about The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, and I came across that movie when i was six years old because it was in heavy rotation on hbo and as a feral gen x child i had unlimited access to watching movies like mommy dearest and best little whorehouse in texas on repeat while my dad was at work um what i most remember about the best little whorehouse in texas is the song that goes texas has a whorehouse lord have mercy on our soul so that's

hell i know it was i like um i like that when i listened to it earlier when i could just hear our listeners sing the song sorry i know it's probably lagging that's the song that's the big

that's the big hit number from that yeah so anyway and i remember in the movie it's like texas has a horror house in it lord have mercy on our soul and then it's like um i think maybe one of the uh sex workers what do we call it what are the i'm gonna try to not use the w word sure one of the ladies i feel like it's like looks up from like a bed where she's mid oh coitus let's just say mid uh coitus with a a client and uh and again as a kid i was like i love this scene if she was a little bit less clothed yeah and also just like the casualness is is impressive you know but again it was it makes a lot of sense to me now that it was based on a body but not actually pornographic if you would Broadway musical that explains a lot about the film because as I talked about at the time I was really intrigued by the movie because I thought this is going to be this is gonna be

rated x and it was it was it was rated pg if that so I'm gonna play one more here because we have the time for it and that was pretty quick and I worry that the dave talk will start to recede into the you know into the past and then we'll be like why are we talking about daves again here this is

from our pal max in seattle hey there guys it's max from seattle calling and wanted to uh reach out and wish you guys or i guess say congratulations on a successful uh tv telethon week it's been a lot of fun listening um i wasn't able to meet you at the uh the old frog jump contest on sunday so I figured I would call in and leave my list of top five Dave's. So beginning at number five, we have Dave Matthews. Number four, we have the guy at any auto mechanic shop. Number three, we have Dave Bautista of Guardians of the Galaxy fame. Love him. Number two, we've got Dave Coulier, everybody's favorite TV uncle from the 90s. Cut it out. And at number one, best Dave, is Dave Grohl. Now, this is my own subjective list. I'm sure other people might disagree or have their own inputs, but there you have it.

I also wanted to add that coming in at an honorable mention spot, although I did keep it to just strictly Dave's, I'm adding David from the basement on there, too. Oh, of course. He deserves a shout out. Absolutely. DFTB.

Yeah. Top of my list. Appreciate that, Max. I mean, you're loud wrong. Yeah, because you're a big Dave Portnoy guy, right? I'm a Dave Thomas.

Oh, Dave Thomas, the man who is bold enough to make hamburgers square.

And I believe was himself maybe adopted And so I think did a lot of really good work Around like you know Adoption programs And I think he was a pretty philanthropic guy I'm putting Dave Bowie Up there

Dave Bowie So do David's count I guess I mean your brother's name is David So if we're counting David

I call him Dave too Do Davies count I mean I guess that's a question Is David Bowie allowed to be on the list Even though he Wouldn't it have been a different career If he was Dave Bowie Do you know his real name

Do you know why he changed his name to David Bowie

I think I always mix it up with What Was it like Reginald Dwight or something

No I should make sure that this is not apocryphal But I'm pretty sure this is right That he was Davy Jones Or at least Dave Jones But there was already a Davy Jones As a monkey, as a famous musician And keep in mind, there would have been a lot of overlap in that time period. And so he changed his name to David Bowie. I'm pretty sure.

David Jones isn't bad either. I thought it was one like it was like, you know, it was a name that just didn't have any kind of entertainment, you know, any kind of sizzle or zazzle coming off of it.

His real name was David Robert Jones. I don't know if he actually went by Davey, but he just couldn't be another Dave Jones in the marketplace.

Where'd Bowie come from? Like the knife? I doubt that. Doesn't seem like his energy. No. And then, of course, let's see, other Daves. Yeah.

Yeah, he did. Yes, he did. I'm looking this up. It was for the knife? Jones, which in the mid-1960s invited confusion with Davy Jones of the Monkees. He took the stage named David Bowie after the 19th century American pioneer James Bowie and the knife that he popularized. Any other Daves that I'm leaving off the list? Dave Thomas, Dave Bowie. What about, you know, Kids in the Hall? Oh, yeah. Dave Foley. Dave Foley. In fact, I mean, probably helped write a song, These Are the Daves We Know We Know, even though I believe that was a Bruce McCullough thing. Let's see.

What else? Who else am I? Let's see. Dave Attenborough. Oh, good call. Yeah. My whole list is based on taking people who are named David and making them Daves. Yeah, no, but I mean, I think that counts. The last Josh Crib info that I'll give you Is that just to kind of round things out here He's part owner of a children's indoor inflatable play arena Called Bounce City in Strongsville, Ohio He co-owns it with Darnell Dinkins Former Browns tight end So you find yourself in Strongsville Which we recently found ourselves very close to Strongsville

Very close, if not driving through

People were talking about it like the big city When I was in Valley City People were like, you gotta go down to Strongsville for that Yeah And if you go to Bounce City in Strongsville, you are frequent in a business owned by Josh Cribs and Darnell Dinkins. Darnell Dinkins, will you please be my mayor? You'd be doing me a really big favor. Could you explain what you just said? Tribe Called Quest. Is that the... No, they say David Dinkins, would you please be my mayor? Oh, I see. You'd be doing us a really big favor. But is that a reference? You know, this song really has a lot of flavor. He just has the same last name as David Dinkins, one time mayor of New York City.

Oh, okay, mayor of New York City. I was trying to figure out, I didn't know that David Dinkins either, okay.

Oh, yeah, David Dinkins, I think, was maybe the first black mayor of New York City. Is he on your list of Daves? Oh, you know what? Put him on the list, although I can't tell you much about his actual time as mayor of New York. I don't know if he was doing a good job or a bad job. He was just on my radar, I think, because Tribe Called Quest name-checked him, and I believe Tim Meadows maybe played him in an SNL sketch here or there. So David Dinkins was someone I was tracking more than most other New York City mayors. David Crosby, right? Crosby's still Nash and Young. Dave Crosby. Yeah, okay. Dave Crosby, interesting guy. He was pretty smart, by the way. He had a lot of health things. I think he had, you know, he lived a pretty intense life around, I think, addiction. And then he got sober, but his body was, if I remember right, still kind of dealing with the effects of that. And I think pretty, he was in pretty good health. At least he was, he was doing interviews and he, I remember hearing him like on Stern and some other places. And he sold off his whole catalog. And I want to say either distributed the money to his heirs or just had it.

And then passed away, kind of, sort of suddenly, even though he had been a little bit sick, but he seemed to be doing okay, and then passed away. And I was like, boy, he sold at the right time. Got out, got ahead of it.

What about Dave Kovalec?

Absolutely. David Kovalec, majorly. Who's that?

Yeah, he was a friend of mine growing up. Okay, would you put him in your top ten days? I would absolutely put him in.

Well, if we're doing childhood friends, I'm putting David Maxey in, the kid that I grew up with who could out-arm wrestle anybody. Really? He was a gentle giant. It's like a switch. Just turned his hat around backwards. It's like a switch. I think we did it.

I think we named all the Davids that were ever born. Uh-huh. Let's see. Anybody else?

People are throwing their phones right now naming other Davids from their childhood.

Some of them are named David. Like, think about that. Imagine being a David listening to this, and you're just like waiting. Here's, say my name.

Hmm. We have, we're not even going biblical. We've got David of David and Goliath. That's true.

Pretty big Dave Probably made up

But nonetheless He went on to be King David That guy, you know what? He was one of the few child stars In the Bible who then went on To also work professionally Throughout adulthood He goes from being David who kills Goliath A lot of child stars in the Bible They just kind of like Things go off the rails after that

They end up making pretty upsetting TikTok videos in Vegas

Stealing all of their earnings. They're just, you know what I mean? You hear they're driving DoorDash years later, which is nothing wrong with that. But he was able to actually sort of build on his childhood stardom, and he becomes King David. He steals Bathsheba. He sends her husband to the front line so he will die, so he can have Bathsheba.

Which is rough stuff.

I mean, you could call that a crash out. You could say Unc was chopped and was crashing out. Well, that's from the Bible, isn't it? Who is the prophet that comes, like Jeremiah? Somebody comes, a prophet comes to David after David has stolen Bathsheba, and he tells David a story of a shepherd who had many, many sheep, but he coveted his neighbor's one sheep. And so he kills his other neighbor to get that sheep. And David says, bring that person to me. And the prophet says, it's you, it you.

Oh, but it wasn't a sheep. It you. It was like the end of MASH. It wasn't a sheep. It was a person.

And the person was Bathsheba's husband, who was murdered so that David could have Bathsheba. And I actually think, if I remember right, David takes it the way that you would hope. I think he then apologizes or he does something. This is all very blurry. We're going back. Almost back past the Windsors now on this one. This is almost before the Tudors. I feel like I'm missing some Daves, but I don't know, man.

Maybe we just got to leave it there.

What I'm thinking is it would be great if the song Toot It and Boot It was actually about the Tooters. You want to talk about a different energy?

I mean, I don't have any information. Can we go out with Toot It and Boot It? I don't have any information that says it wasn't. You know what I mean? And so right now I choose to live in this space. Like, don't look it up. You can't say it's not true until you look it up.

Toot It and Boot It, a song by YG. That's not our guy, YG. Yeah. Twist My Fingers. Are you kidding? That had to be a different song. No, you know what? Toot It and Boot It has to be a YG song that's building on the song Toot It and Boot It, which is like an almost Zydeco number. Like, Toot It and Boot It original.

No, everything I'm seeing, it has a Wikipedia page that's going back to YG. I mean, it's a hip-hop song.

There was a song, because I can sing you the original song. Toot It and Boot It. Oh, Toot It and Boot It. I don't like that. Toot It and Boot It. It's a very weird show.

I'm trying to pull it up here, But no, I mean, it's another song where I'm singing Toot It and Boot It. Another show, yeah. I feel like everything I'm looking at is taking us back to the YG song.

You're right. The song features samples of Songs in the Wind by the Association, part of the 1966 album Renaissance.

I can only play a little bit of this, and we've got to talk over a lot of it. But this is the song. Are you playing the clean version? Oh, no, I'm not. Oh, goodness. There's an E. Oh, yeah, here we go. Okay, there it is. That's YG. I'm not going to play it. You got me scared with the language.

No, no, no, no. It's good. Just try to get to the chorus.

I don't care if it pulls us down in Romania.

That's it.

Wow, he sounds so young.

I didn't know YG was... But YG, we like him. He makes Southern California music, right? Yeah, he made that. Isn't he our F. Donald Trump guy? That's our guy, YG, right?

Do you remember I got obsessed with a record that he dropped when I was back in L.A., and it was such a, like, West Coast old-school rap sound. I think the single of it was Twist My Fingas, right? People like it when I...

When I say the AZs, let me see here. Yeah, like what's funny, because I didn't realize he was toot it and boot it guy, but I do very much remember when you put him back on my radar as this guy that was putting out a real kind of like throwback West Coast sound, which I was digging to that record. What is that YG record? Still brazy. I got it here. Still brazy. Listen to this. Listen to this. It's because he's a blood, right? If this isn't some Zapp and Roger energy, I don't know what is. Isn't it called Too Brazy because he doesn't use C's because he's a blood, not a crip? Oh, I didn't know that part. Come on. Fight me outside. Fight me outside. Fight me outside. What's he saying? I don't know. I love the cover photo, by the way, from Still Brazy. It's a little bit blurry. It's just so arced. I didn't mean that in a real way, in a good way. This takes me back. That's interesting. I didn't realize he was Toot It and Boot It guy. I don't think I did either until just now. Toot it and boot it. Oh, toot it and boot it. The whole album has this kind of 90s West Coast hip-hop vibe. I wonder if Twist My Fingers is kind of a reference. I think it's the flashing the gang sign, right? Yeah, the sign. Yeah, I think so. Those layers to snap your fingers, do the stare You can do it all by yourself That's a New Orleans Based song, anyway, well this has been good for everyone You know, this has been a very strange show I almost feel like this is the show people might have Expected us to turn in yesterday When we were all kind of burned out from travel and everything Never let them know your next move Yesterday was a very coherent show, I feel like We told a lot of stories about our trip And then today, I don't think either one of us Was able to stay on one topic for more than 45 seconds At least, maybe I'll speak for myself I don't know if you had the same experience, but I just sort of felt like I could not get my brain to rest on anything. I think it was a kind of entertaining show. Honestly. Yeah, maybe. I mean, hopefully. I think people like it when we're all over the map. I think that we, I stand by this. And I also think that we're probably the number one place people turn to for musings on hip-hop from 20 years ago. I think so. I mean, it would make sense. All right. I'm going to, speaking of music, let's play this. This is our indication that it's time to say goodbye. Oh, you don't like it when I sing Toot It and Boot It, but now you're doing some kind of, what is that, Sound of Music? No, I don't know. I was just stalling. I'm just playing our outro music, but something happened. Oh, I moved a folder before the show cleaning up my desktop, and when I moved the folder, Luke, what do you think happened? It's not pointing back to the song now. It's not pointing back to the right place, so I need you to talk for about 10 seconds. I think we've ended the show on file management. No. One of our other KPIs. That's what people want. I'm just going to have to sing.

I think we're going to have to sing this out, unfortunately. Can we just go toot it and boot it? No, we can't. Wait, we literally don't have the out music? No, we have it. You just start wrapping up. You don't worry about me. You don't worry about me. I won't worry my little head. Why would you worry about what's going on over here? I haven't earned your trust. What I know is I've got a trip coming up A work trip to Las Vegas And I know that I'm going to be Walking through the airport Listening to YG Listening to Still Brazy Oh as well you should That's going to put a little There's just nothing like Listening to hip hop In your headphones Walking through the airport To feel main character energy Yes I love that Alright here we go That's going to do it For today's episode We're going to be right back Here tomorrow though With more imaginary radio For all of you Please join us for that In the meantime Have a great Wednesday Take care of y'all selves And please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all power out