Muse

And we've become great friends. I mean, close. We'll just sit in the front room, and we'll sit there. And he'll walk, he'll go to the front door, kind of knock on the door, and then sit down, then I'll sit, then he stands, and he's out in the front. Then he'll come in, we just sit there. And he'll stand, and I'll sit, and then I stand, and you sit, and then we're both looking at each other, and we're just nodding. Like a couple of nodders, right? TBTL.

okay ah i've been waiting for this moment for months and it's finally here

yeah now we've known each other for quite some time in the professional realm i'd like to push things forward in the friendship realm what's the friendship realm well you've heard of a realm yeah yes well this is like a friendship one a group of people basically getting together, calling each other friends.

Well, I think I'm looking forward to cracking up. I hope I can, like, you know, totally crack up. So I haven't, like, totally cracked up in a long time.

Sure, it's done in the name of comedy, but is debasing ourselves really that hilarious? This is not your mama's podcast. This is too beautiful to live.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live this is probably a party that you don't want to attend but you're locked in my name's luke burbank i am your host it is our turn coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched high above the mighty columbia where things have cooled down a little bit here on this thursday but uh boy it's been spicy this week super duper hot i feel warm and i'm levitating and uh it's caused me to become weirdly obsessed with my little silly livestock tank pool thing that provides me an irrational amount of joy i'm hooked uh maybe i'll tell andrew about that here on episode four thousand seven hundred and seventy seven in a collector series let the fun begin triple sevens triples are best also seven seven I'm heading off to Las Vegas for a TV story after we're done recording today, and I don't know. It might be an indicator of something, 777s, I don't know. The internet, of course, has been obsessed with Jimothy the raccoon, but the folks in Minnesota, at least some folks are saying, no, no, no, we have the best viral raccoon of all time.

Just study it out and you'll see.

We'll compare and contrast Jimothy with the climbing the building raccoon. And also, we've got, you know, this is kind of the go-to show for garbage talk and garbage anxiety. Somebody sent us an article about some real garbage behavior going on in someone's life. This was published in Slate Magazine.

I mean, trash is trash.

So we'll take a look at that as well. And we'll say hi to this guy, longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. They just want you to be normal, and clearly you're not. He is Andrew Walsh, and he is joining me right now.

Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. I'm very looking forward to this afternoon. I believe it's time. You know, I've been back home from our big trip for a few days now, but I still have not made my, I don't know, inaugural trip to the grocery store, and I think this afternoon is going to happen. I'm going to be able to just, like, stroll through the aisles slowly, just sort of see if they moved anything. Oh, the Rice-A-Roni used to be over there, but they dropped it down a shelf. That's interesting. Maybe make some small talk with the people who work there. They love that. I'm really looking forward to it. Like, I've been just slowly settling in all week, you know?

Well, and, like, there's, you know, we are men of honor. Lives do not become us. We'll just tell you, we're doing a little, this is a little pre-recording today because of my travel schedule and really my filming schedule in Las Vegas. And so I know you had been, we're recording this on Wednesday afternoon, and you had been very excited. When we were in the rental car heading back home from the Valley City Frog Jump, and I was asking you and John, like, hey, what are we looking forward to about going home? You had Wednesday circled on the map or on the calendar. Do you use a map or a calendar to keep your week in order? I use a map. That would explain some things. It really would. I'm sorry. I put this in Kazakhstan. I don't know why I didn't realize that was today. Kazakhstan off. But you were really looking forward to Wednesday, and then I had to ask you if we could actually double up on some recording to accommodate for my schedule, and I was nervous about asking you that, because I know you had Wednesday. You were very excited. I think you said something in response like, well, so much for my Wednesday.

Well, I'll tell you what. I wanted to... I thought about responding like in meme form. I was going to be like... Which meme? Well, just sort of like internet speak meme. I was going to be like Luke, colon. What are you looking forward to the most?

home andrew wednesday can't wait for my wednesday luke good i'm taking thursday off we got to do two shows on wednesday i was going to do something like that but i was worried that you would take the um i i was worried that it would be it would come off as more caustic than humorous and so i did not do that and i just said well there goes wednesday but but it's fine i think i said but i

also think honestly i think this is now a better deal for you because all we've really added is about an hour of this jibber jabber to your wednesday and then no you don't have to get up

and do a show you don't have to sell me on it luke it's done don't sell me on it i've already bought the car i'm driving off the lot like you can stop this come back on the lot come back on

the lot i want to tell you one more thing i think if anything i've done you i come i'm kind of the hero of this story you're mad that i didn't say thank you sir is what's going on here with tears

in his eyes. Big, strong podcasters. Oh, by the way, this isn't related to this particular story, but again, it relates back to a huge topic that we talked about last week on the show that has actually, I think, maybe forever changed me, even though I don't want to admit it. Of course, we talked so much on the show last week about my lost box that I had shipped using the United States Postal Service. It ended up showing up where it was supposed to show up, but it showed up late, almost too late for it to be useful, so sort of a waste of money for me. And also, as we talked about, the box was utterly destroyed. Now, the contents, I need to keep saying the contents inside the box were all fine. As far as I know, nothing was missing. Nothing was damaged. And so I never even went to the postal service or the postal office to ask for my money back. The whole thing seemed pretty galling to me, but they told me specifically there was not a guarantee on the delivery date. And what can I say? The box was ugly when it got there. I wasn't planning on reusing the box. So it didn't seem worth my time to go try to fight for some money back from the Postal Service. Instead, I went to UPS and just shipped the box back to myself in Seattle there. And I will probably be using UPS or FedEx going forward and that's, I guess, that's what the Postal Service lost from me. It's future business in that way. But, Luke, when I was shipping the box... Ribbit, ribbit. I don't actually have

that. That drop does not live i should transfer it over that lives on my road computer that we're using for the fawn it

does not live on my home computer but didn't you you sent it to me though i feel like i should be able to play this on my um but anyway so i'm in the uh ups store and they asked if i wanted insurance because again they said the first hundred dollars worth of you know whatever's inside the box is automatically insured but do you want to insure more of it i've never i in my life i've never bought the insurance from the company that's selling me the service i've never bought like the when i'm at uh when i'm at the guitar center they want so badly to send you like or to get you to sell you on what do they call it the warranty and sometimes they do this thing do you ever get this at guitar center they do this to me a lot they're like hey i'll give you these cables for free if you buy the warranty on the big thing you're buying and it'll all end up you know you'll end up paying maybe an extra five dollars like there's something about the Guitar Center business model where they really want you to buy the guarantees and I know that's fascinating they've

never I don't go there as much as you do but no that hasn't been brought up but that's actually kind of sort of compelling because if you walk out of there with basically the warranty for almost free for the cost of what you would have paid for the cables

Why not? Have you gone in for that? Yeah, I think I've done that twice. But that's only because, again, they've kind of given me an offer that I can't refuse. But for the most part, I am not a guy who buys the insurance. So you see where I'm going with this. So I'm at the FedEx store and I'm like, you know what? Yeah, I probably should. How much is the insurance? And they're like, that's about three fifty for every hundred dollars that you want to cover. And the first hundred dollars is already covered. So I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'll buy an extra five hundred or maybe I maybe I said five hundred dollar total worth or something. which might be a little bit low but you know so i ended up paying what twelve dollars or something like that for insurance for this equipment that's coming back and then also at the very end of the transaction the woman said do either one of you i was there with my dad do either one of you belong to aarp or triple a and my dad's like yeah i belong to both and so that got us i think that we could only choose one but that that basically gave us a discount that meant i paid about three dollars for this insurance so i was like well i guess i buy the insurance when i'm shipping things now but then I get home I realize I do have a damaged piece of equipment but it's my own fault I jammed my microphone into such a small little corner of my suitcase on the way home that this is a very long skinny what they call a shotgun microphone and I

had it for years and years but the windscreen around it was kind of destroyed when i pulled it out of my suitcase again this is my fault permanently smashed it was no like that the top popped out the top of it i think the microphone got shifted and the windscreen it was it was both like just sort of crumpled and gross it would have maybe found its form again but it was the top of it was busted and that's where you need the windscreen the most the windscreen but the microphone survived but the windscreen needs to be replaced exactly and so and i do need that it's an important part of the thing and so i went online and i think i bought it from a company called adorama that some people might be familiar with and uh it was i don't know it was like 22 bucks or something like that and then it was like do you want the protection for like a dollar 50 or two dollars i think it was like two dollars i was like it was like delivery it was like protection that it will definitely arrive at your house and again i shouldn't have to pay extra for

you to do the bare minimum but i was like your argument was compelling to me last week about why how wrong it is that they're making us get insurance that they will do the thing that particularly as it relates to the USPS, the whole core competency.

Exactly. But I was like, you know what, $2 for, you know what, they didn't sell me insurance, Luke. They sold me peace of mind, exactly what I was going to say.

What sort of price would you put on peace of mind, Andrew?

About $2, about $1.95. But it's funny, like now that is twice in like three days where I'm like, yeah, I'll buy the protection. And I guess the Postal Service has changed me.

The thing is, and I hope you don't have to ever test it, the big question will be in these various matters, how actually robust is the quote-unquote insurance? Because you see people online who say, oh, well, we bought the travel insurance, but then it doesn't apply to, because that's another place where they really try to upsell you, depending on the website. Actually, Alaska Airlines does it now, too.

Yeah.

When you're buying a ticket on Alaska Airlines, you're like, would you like to insure your trip? again back to your thing last week it's like why do i have to ensure well i think that i think and

i could be wrong here i think you're buying the insurance that your life doesn't get in the way because remember i had to change my flight because there was a family emergency and it kind of all happened sooner than i thought i was going to so the tickets that i had originally purchased i needed to get there sooner and so i did have to pay more money to transfer my tickets that was like that wasn't the airline saying we might not do what we say we're going to do it's like your life might change and so if i had bought that protection early on i would have been able to

switch my flight maybe i because i've never bought it so i guess i haven't really looked at the fine print maybe that's what it covers but uh the thing i just and maybe it's not even the last airlines is maybe a poor example but there's other people who like they buy the travel insurance from maybe they're buying something through like travelocity or one of these kind of yeah third party deals and uh and then they find themselves in trouble somewhere and it's like the oh i saw about a guy who was traveling somewhere outside of the u.s and he got sick and he had the travel insurance and he needed to have a procedure done and it ended up being like a hundred thousand dollars you know it was like they had to like i don't know pull out his spleen or something this was like a local tv news story that i think i saw on tiktok where the travel insurance was saying well this is something that was already wrong with you so it's not covered oh because there's one thing we know about these insurance companies whether they're the regular ones or even these other ones is that they're even though they're allegedly insuring us they're also looking for every reason that they don't have to actually pay out the policy yeah no that isn't it's a really

cool business model if you think about it what they do is they convince us to give them a lot of money year in and year out but they don't like having money come out of their purse it's real it's

it's genius if you could think about it so it'll be interesting to see if and again i hope you don't have to find out and you know because of uh you know extreme circumstances but basically like if you ever were trying to cash in on this like i insured one time i moved i had my possessions moved across the country from los angeles to new york and i insured it through the moving company which turned out to be just a completely shady i mean they did get the stuff eventually to new york but it like sat out on a loading dock somewhere on like staten island or god knows where outside so when i got this up it was all rain damaged including famously that photo i have of those two drag queens that i call the girls and was totally destroyed and so i was like well i got the insurance and they were like yeah it's insured by the pound which is just so stupid

because right i mean there's just no that's just objects are not valued by their pound unless it's

literally i mean it was just complete and total it was just such bs and there was no recourse it really soured me on that kind of a thing so i guess it's sort of like read the fight print the other thing that i always feel like saying to people who are having travel troubles is like now i could be wrong about this um but i don't think people are really getting a better deal by using Travelocity and using hotels.com now again because I don't use these services much anymore because some almost all the travel that I do is work travel probably for CBS and so I'm booking it through this this travel tool that we use called concur but like I have been under the impression for a while that the way to go is you find the hotel that you want to go to through like one of these travel services let's go you go on hotels or kayak or Travelocity or whatever one you use and then go cross-reference the price that's being offered to you at the hotel or the hotel company's website and compare the two same thing for tickets airplane tickets like by all means use one of these third-party services to try to identify the cost of the because they what they are kind of useful for is is quickly sorting through all of the different prices and then telling you like well here's the cheapest ticket on that day that's a useful service but what i would recommend people do then is take that information and now go to that airline or go to that hotel and see how that price compares to the one that you've just gotten quoted to you because my guess is and i you know years ago was checking this out it was the case that usually that's the price they're charging on that day all the third party thing has done is identified what the cheapest price is now sometimes i guess maybe for like hotels or something there may be a batch of rooms that are discounted that are being sold as inventory to this website but the number of times I've seen someone who has is having a big problem with their tickets or their room and they've also booked it through a third party meaning that the hotel or the airline has less responsibility yeah

they can't do anything like I feel like I'm constant well maybe not constantly but whenever I hear about somebody saying well I tried to move my room or I showed up and like my room wasn't ready and like when I said here's my confirmation like well that's Travelocity you have to work through them and like for me at all like when I first started booking travel stuff for myself it was the early 2000s I was probably asking Genevieve for advice and Genevieve is a deal finder a deal hunter you know and so maybe that's why I started doing it and I feel like I was using Travelocity all the time and now you know when I'm traveling first of all if I'm traveling with Genevieve for vacation she just does it like whatever she does I don't know what her process is she just handles it and when I'm traveling by myself I'm just first of all I know I want Alaska if I'm flying to Cleveland I know there's only one direct flight to Cleveland it's on Alaska Airlines you know what I mean like I don't feel like going through every now and then I'll do what you did which is like maybe look if Travelocity can point me in the right direction but I do not want any I could not agree with you more just like buy from the companies that you're going to be working directly with because it could very much save

you some headaches down the road. Yeah, I think the move is to use those other services to identify the most affordable thing on that day if you're somebody who doesn't care which airline you're on or what hotel you go to. And then, again, try to go to the source on that if you possibly can. I want to say, too, that the nice thing about flying on Alaska Airlines is that our friend Pilot Will is keeping constant tabs on us. Did anybody approach you on your flight because i got approached on my flight by the flight attendant who said how was

the frog jump that is so funny no i think i don't think that you know will and i had a pretty big falling out um he owed me a bunch of money and i sent some guys to his house and it just kind of you know it was one of those things where it's just like it started off friendly but it kind of got weird um no he had done that to me in the past but now i feel like i am tracked more by broadcast Barry who doesn't even work for the airlines like when Genevieve and I not for not yet when I when Genevieve and I were on our um we're sitting on the tarmac in our seats on our flight to I want to say um Hawaii recently before we took off we both got a text from Barry just saying oh I see you're on this flight that's a pretty good flight should be arriving and by the way we weren't meeting up with Barry we weren't staying at you know at Barry's place or anything like that he was just like kind of keeping an eye out for us yeah he that guy is you know of his the

many things that he knows all about and it's a long list the machinations of particularly alaska airlines it's a bar uh is at the top of the list no i i actually was coming out of the restroom my uh my flight from cleveland it was cleveland to seattle and seattle to portland on monday and like you had mentioned or like i mentioned the other day was an initially an early flight and then it got it left a little bit later because of some mechanical stuff or whatever and um i was because it was so early i think i was fortunate enough i got into the last seat of first class i was able to be in first class which was which was really nice and and lucky uh for me but um i was coming out of the restroom and the what i noticed is that the flight attendants were super nice up there and almost even by the standards of the flight attendants in first class We'll be right back. this one flight attendant was just incredibly friendly and smiling a lot and taking very good care of everyone, me as well. And I came out of the restroom and she just said, how was the frog jump? And I have to say, it scrambled my brain. Yeah, I believe it. I was like, is that bathroom talk? Is that some sort of like, you know, coding? I have a whole move when I'm coming out of the restroom, particularly the first class restroom, where it's part of it is just practical, but part of it is also um performative i you know you use the you use the toilet in there and then you flush it and then you make sure that there isn't any well actually you you make sure that there isn't anything on the toilet seat that would be uh uncomfortable for the next person like no pee on the toilet so you clean that whole area up and you wash your hands and then i take a paper towel and i dry my hands but i also use that paper towel to open there's a little lock to open the lock and open the door and it's because i don't i've just washed my hands i don't want to touch the lock if somebody before me didn't wash their hands but i also want the flight attendants to see i do this whole move where i i get my paper towel i dry my hands off i open the lock i open the door i step out with my foot like a um who was the keep on trucking guy terry's weigoff was that the it was it wasn't it crumb drew it yeah i think terry terry's eye was weigoff made the movie about crumb oh okay gotcha yeah yeah yeah but that was crumbling yeah i keep on i do a a crumb a is it robert crumb yeah our crumb i do like an our crumb foot out of the door of the bathroom and stick it down in the hallway so that everyone can see mostly the flight attendants that i am now putting the the paper towel into the garbage which is like right there at the at the edge where the door is so they will know that i have washed my hands anyway i'm in the midst of doing that and the flight attendant says how was the frog jump and i was like are is this person a listener were they at the frog jump how is this and i just said oh did pilot will let you know i was going to be on this flight and she said yes he absolutely it was was will flying your plane do you think he was not you asked about that it was somebody else in the cockpit but he's just i guess

said uh you know my friend luke is going to be on your flight and why don't you uh you know make sure that he's uh he's taking care of and then a couple things went through my head i was like okay thank god i'm not being a hassle you know what i mean like thank god i wasn't like being extra extra oh yeah way shape or form i'm not drinking alcohol thank god i'm not like getting lit on bloody mary and then uh but then it also was really nice because the flight landed in seattle and we so we were late taking off but then the pilots made up the time which i've always been confused by is it just kind of like do they just cut a hole in the bottom of the plane and they push the gas pedal lower like they used to push it to the floor but now they're going to push it below the floor so we go because they all make up a little bit of time in the air and it's like well why wasn't that always the point yeah well they cut they cut a little hole in the space-time continuum is that's what it was yes so uh we end up landing in seattle earlier than the predicted time based on our lateness but now the new problem is there's someone at the gate there's another airplane at the gate that we're supposed to land at now all of this is going on as i'm looking at my flight let's just say we land at 10 55 a.m local time and i'm scheduled on a flight from seattle to portland at 12 o'clock at 12 noon now that should be enough time that's an hour and five minutes um but we just sit there on the runway yeah the pilot makes an announcement hey we've got somebody in our way but you know we'll be moving along soon and like 35 minutes go by yeah and now i'm just like and the problem is the next if i miss this flight the next sea next seattle to portland flights at like five and you know me i had big plans i wanted to get home i wanted to mow my lawn i wanted to turn the filter on my livestock pool tank uh to test the theory of like, if that's going to keep that pool. Go ahead. I had big lawn mowing plans. Yeah, big Tuesday plans. Big Tuesday, big Monday plans, even. Oh, that was Monday. Yeah, that's right. That was Monday. Big after weekend plans. Big weekday. And the Mariners are playing. You know how it is. I had my whole, I was very excited for this Monday. I was going to get home. I was going to do all this stuff. I was going to watch the M's, and I was going to, like, just, and now this is all evaporating in front of my very eyes because i'm sitting there like watching the time go by and i'm starting to get really kind of mad and and i would be honest with you there have been other times where i've had this happen and i just start kind of loudly exasperatedly almost audibly and not almost literally audibly being like you gotta be kidding me like there's just come on there's this kind of frustration when you're being held captive and and what i kept reminding myself was this the flight crew the pilots don't have anything to do with this the flight attendants don't have anything to do with this nobody tried to make, nobody said let's do other than whoever is like ground control to major tom and i don't even know if

that's a um if that's the the tower or if that's an alaska airlines there's got to be some logistics person at some headquarters for alaska airlines who's keeping all of those planes straight once they're on the ground but at the gates that's got to be a job of probably multiple people so i know no one on this flight is responsible they're as annoyed as i am but like i don't i can't get a hold of that person who's at the control center so i'm just kind of like ah but of course i'm not doing that as much here because i know that the people know that i was in a frog jump because of our friend pilot will yeah so i'm a little bit better than normal behavior but i'm still kind of starting to get freaked out because i'm just like oh my god i'm gonna like the idea that i would miss my flight which is at this same airport because we are not allowed to park the plane at the airport is like making me crazy yeah there's something extra frustrating about that

well there is i mean can i jump in here i don't know if i'm cutting off your your main point but there's first of all two things about this um sitting on the tarmac when when they make up time in the air and it gets us early it gets us landing early um which happened to me i was texting genevieve i had had internet on the plane so i was texting genevieve and it looked like we were i was landing a half hour earlier than expected when we took off so i was telling her that but i was also because she was picking me up and i also told her but i don't know how long we'll sit on the tarmac because often if you arrive early it doesn't do you any good you're sitting on the tarmac and that's actually i think i don't know if this is a subway hot take this is my subway take but it's better to just be in the air during that time because i think they shut off access to the bathrooms when you're on the tarmac right oh that's a good point so like it's you it's just

better to be in the in the sky yeah they're very nervous about anybody getting i mean you know there's faa regulations i get it but like yeah once you're like that's a real that's a real liminal space that's a real purgatory yeah sitting on the plane on the ground but in a way where you're not allowed to get up and use the restroom or the air might not work the same way sometimes

it's hotter on the tarmac i would just say don't make up time if there's not going to be you know space at the spaceport for us but also i thought this was interesting and i don't think i told you this yet literally stopped me if i did because it's frankly not that great of a story but i think I was telling Genevieve this, but when I got on the flight, I told you that my flight was slightly delayed, and I woke up on Monday morning, and again, I had more of an evening flight. It was scheduled for 5.30 in the evening. I got a note from Alaska that said, you're taking off like 90 minutes later than you're supposed to, I think, or something along the lines of that. And so it's not a huge delay, but I was pretty anxious to get home, and I was already landing at night in Seattle, And I just, you know, just wanted some time to decompress and also no joke. Like, I didn't have to tear everything out of the studio, but I had to install a bunch of stuff again to get this in working order for our show on Tuesday. All of that is to say I was feeling a little anxious, but I noted that and this was a very good thing. I noted that it wasn't one of those cascading delays. Often you'll get a note from the airline that says, oh, your flight has been delayed by about 30 minutes. And then you get another one that's been, oh, we're tacking another 30 minutes on. And then it's like, oh, we're tacking another 60 minutes on. Like, I don't know if you've had that experience. I assume you have. You travel a lot. That is really frustrating. So when you see that there's an initial delay, usually that's just the beginning of the delay journey. But this time they just said, we're going to be 90 minutes late. And there were no updates after that. And then I got an email notification from Alaska as well, as opposed to just like the push notification on my phone. And the email gave a reason. And I'll see if I can find this on the fly here. I should have already grabbed it. But essentially it said some of our flight crew, because of travel issues with some of our flight crew, we are taking off later than expected. So it wasn't one of those delay things where it's kind of like, well, a storm in one part of the country pushed one flight back, which has this cascading effect. It was like one very specific issue, and it was the arrival time in Cleveland of our flight crew. And I didn't know exactly what that meant. But then we get on the plane. You haven't stopped me, so I'm guessing I didn't tell you this. We get on the plane, and the pilot comes on, and the pilot apologizes for the late start time, and he says, me and my co-pilot arrived in Cleveland later than expected, and there's an FAA rule that says you must, you know, have a certain amount of downtime, a certain number of hours of downtime before we're allowed to fly again. So that's what happened there. Just blame the FAA. And I was like, I understand that he was just, I mean, I sort of appreciate the honesty and I know it was a joke. I know it was just like, it was just a lighthearted way of kind of, but I don't think it was the FAA's fault that you were late. It was probably this airline system that is so unreliable that made you late. It was probably Alaska Air.

lines that made you late and maybe again it might have been a storm somewhere who knows i'm not trying to blame but i you i don't i know the faa has had some issues in the past couple of years so maybe we could blame the faa but i like the way that he was sort of being run by a guy from the real world road rules challenge exactly so i'm not here like jumping to defend the faa in this current uh you know manifestation of it or version of it but i kind of didn't like the well, you've got to blame these stupid rules that the FAA has so that we're not flying drunk, tired, or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, no, you didn't arrive in time. Again, it might not have been his personal problem.

The big question is, when you saw that the flight was 90 minutes delayed, did you then delay your trip to Cleveland Hopkins?

No, I still got there at 6 in the morning. No, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, of course, yeah. So I just, in this, I know that this seems excessive, but I promise you with the amount of equipment that I had in my suitcase so I have one of those hard shelled suitcases I think you and I might still be using the same one although you might have I think you upgraded your suitcase experience but I didn't even upgrade I just moved to something else but you still have that away luggage yeah I have an away luggage you see these all over the place actually you're seeing them less now because I'm still hanging on to mine I think other people have upgraded but hard shell case splits down the middle you open it up You put clothes on one side, clothes on the other side, right? An entire one half of my luggage was filled with equipment that is bigger than a cell phone. And both flying there and back, I always ask, like, are we doing the laptops out of the bags? Because sometimes they just let you go through. I don't know if it has to do with how busy the TSA is or whatever, but sometimes they'd say, don't worry about laptops out of the bag. And that is a dream on flights like these because I have like these red boxes that are these audio devices. I got two of these things that are, you know, definitely, you know, they're much bigger than a cell phone. I had bags and bags of wires and cables and I'm trying to think a headphone mixer and all this stuff in my bag that took up an entire half of my suitcase, which is why I was doing laundry constantly when I was there because I didn't have as much room for laundry. so it takes me a long time to get through security and I had two laptops two laptops says it all so anyway I was like sort of you know me I don't want to hold up the line in any situation so security I'm telling people just go around I'm going to be filling up these bins for a while then it takes me a really long time to get everything back into my suitcase so that it all fits and I still ruin my microphone holder thing so all of this defensiveness is to say yes I arrived at the airport two hours before my flight was supposed to take off But I really felt like I kind of needed that time. Yeah, no, you're not on trial here.

That's later for the international courts to decide. And I'll leave that to them at the Hague. No, what I mean was, when you got that email, let's say you were planning on showing up at...

Yeah, I pushed my airport arrival time back. I just always made sure I had two hours at the airport before the flight.

Because that's also a dangerous game, Dano. Because what happened to me on Monday morning was, I wake up, I take the shower, I check my email. they say, I have a push notification saying my flight is pushed back to nine. I'm like, oh, man. So then I'm kind of like, I'm not, I kind of wish I could go back to sleep. I'm kind of too awake. And then I get an update that my flight is delayed until 8.40. In other words, they moved it up.

They moved it back. Oh. They moved it up. Which is good news if you're already at the airport.

Right. But it's a dangerous game if you, and I've seen this happen before, too. It's like where they announce a delay and then something just goes a little better than they were expecting. And now it's not as delayed as they thought it was going to be. So I was in this weird, I was like, I don't want to be, it's at this point, it's 530 in the morning. I'm like, I don't want to be hanging out at the airport at 530 for no reason. But also they're, they're actually, they're actually shortening the delay. Ultimately left at nine. But that's, that's why I asked about your thing. Because if, you know, it's possible that when I always wonder what the culpability is or what the rules are when they say, hey, the flight is actually going to be delayed until this time. And then you show up later because you're thinking the flight's later. And they're like, actually, we we got lucky. A plane showed up that we weren't expecting or a crew member or whatever. And and now we're taking off like they should have to once they tell you that the flight is delayed by 90 minutes, they should have to honor that it would seem because I've seen them actually shorten up the time of the delay.

That reminds me of something I saw in the Seattle airport on my way to Cleveland. You know how you have, you get really. A really, really handsome face, yes. Oh, I was going to talk about your feet. Also pretty good. You know how you get really, I'm trying to think of the right word to describe what happens to you when you hear a really loud noise. I mean, you get irritated, but it's more than that. Triggered is a good word for that. Emotionally dysregulated. And I think that, I mean, listen, that is a real thing that people deal with, you know.

Just like in various scenarios. I think I'm one of them. Yeah, and so that kind of sensory input is the word I was kind of looking for there. Those are real issues that people have. Hearing a loud motorcycle, I mean, I'm not trying to fall asleep next to the exhaust pipe, but I don't think I have the same exact reaction to it that you do. I have something that is probably based more in pettiness than actual chromosome makeup, and that is the sound of other people's phones on speakerphone. Like it irritates me so much, whether they're watching a YouTube video or talking on speakerphone or whatever it is. I just hear that. And I just always think, how rude can you be? In fact, at the airport in that same visit, I was happy to like some woman was just like we're sitting next to each other, like waiting in the waiting area. And then she turned on her phone and she started watching something. I was like, what the hell? And I just got up and I moved two seats down. And I was like, I hope you notice that. I didn't glare at her or anything. I just moved. But I was like, I hope you took a little moment that's like, that is an unpleasant thing to do to people in public places. During that same time, when they're starting to board my flight and I'm waiting for them to call my group number, I start to notice I'm getting irritated about something. And there's a loud sound of somebody on hold. It's like that jangly hold music that is very recognizable, but it's playing very loud on somebody's cell phone. And I'm like, you got to be kidding me. I'm like, what's going on? And then I kind of noticed that people are kind of staring in the direction of that sound. I was kind of in my own world. I don't know if I had my headphones on prior to this or what. But then I just look, I turn around, and I see at the gate desk behind me, which was for a different flight, there is two people standing. It looked like, at very first glance, maybe a father and maybe his daughter who was maybe like high school or older or something like that. And that's when I realized the sound is coming from the girl's phone. She's on hold, and it's really loud. And they're both talking to the gate agent. And then suddenly I realized, oh, this guy's a little hot under the collar. And he's saying, no, it said the flight boarded at 12.08. we got here at 12.05 what do you mean and now I suddenly and that's like literally all I heard but I suddenly totally understood what happened it was that this is where the airlines they just on their own whim can say okay that's everybody up there's one lost sheep but we're just gonna I've had it happen to me I remember that story and like and then I suddenly I didn't feel the person that was probably on hold on hold with the airline Alaska Airlines because the gate agent wasn't able to do anything. And at that point, the plane is probably gone or they really literally can't do anything. But can they acknowledge that it's bullshit that they give us times and cutoffs? It's not unlike. Who is the New York Yankee, Luke?

Were you reading about this? It led to a brawl this weekend. He uses the pitch clock exactly to the T of the rule, which is like the batter has to engage when there's only eight seconds left on the pitch clock. and i'm blanking on this player's name sorry i know sklaroff will know because he's a yankee but like basically it really ticks off the pitchers when you're just engaging at the very last second

but he's following her as a hitter yeah you have to engage i find that rule so weird the batter must engage with their eyes it's like who cares just throw it but like the batter with the pitch guys like the batter steps in to me just to be when the batter steps into the box then like how do you know what i mean like what is the batter engaging with their eyes what is the point of

that being a thing yeah i don't know if it's safety i don't know what the rule is but i did understand from reading this article in the times about it that the reason that this particular player does that and it gets under the skin of the pitchers is because it kind of doesn't give the pitcher the whole 15 second pitch clock to sort of maybe freeze a runner on the base paths Apparently, it's especially effective and irritating when there are runners on base. And it's just kind of a, it was very interesting. I think, I think, and you know me, Luke, I'm not usually like first in line.

I think it's Jose Caballero.

Caballero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Thank you. And I'm not usually the first in line to defend a Yankees player. But like, absolutely, if the rule is you with eight seconds left, you have to engage. well then why is he the umpires are giving him grief for following that that rule to the letter of the law well then change the rule like he's being compliant like but they're like no no no you're not and it was anyway i feel like the airlines if you're gonna say that were you can board at 608 and we get there at 605 and the plane is already like unboardable well then you have to make it right you have to let me sit in the in the cockpit with

You

pilots or something maybe on his lap this is my point about the pitch clock because i'm reading in on this a little bit it's yeah it's like he gets into the box but then he doesn't engage with the pitcher he doesn't make eye contact it's like why is that here's the deal the pitch clock should just start it's counting down and in that time the batter needs to get in the batter's box and the pitcher needs to throw the pitch if the batter wants to lie down in the batter's box who cares Like, this idea that a component of this is that the batter has to, like, look at the pitcher, make eye contact, connect hearts, blow him a kiss, all before the pitcher can throw the pitch. Like, the pitcher can't throw the pitch until the batter makes eye contact? Screw that. The batter can stare off into space, and the pitcher can throw the pitch.

I mean, I guess, so it says the three reasons that are listed under AI overview is safety. That does sort of make sense, like, safety. I mean, these things are bullets coming down. Keeping the pace of the game moving under the pitch clock, which, I mean, that sort of seems like a tautology a little bit.

Yeah, exactly. That might be literally begging the question.

Yeah, I think you're right. But then the other one is it says prevent unfair quick pitching. So you could sort of see it as it's a rule that is sort of set up to protect the batter, not just the safety, but also so that you know there's a 15-second pitch clock and you're still sort of scuffling your feet or adjusting your gloves, and then suddenly the pitcher just throws it over the plate, I guess.

I guess so. Maybe that last one is slightly the most compelling, but I've always thought it was funny that there is this rule that the batter has to look at the pitcher, because to me it's like if the batter doesn't want to look at the pitcher, then it's just on them that they're not going to be as aware of what's happening in the box, and the fact that they can use that as a tool against the pitcher by like averting their gaze, averting their gaze, averting their gaze, and then looking up at exactly the last second.

I feel like, but I kind of like that Caballero does that, right? Like he's using it. He's using this tool. in a way that is totally legal under the books but then like the umpires are giving him warnings

for it it's like what the hell yeah i don't have a problem with him doing that i just think that the eye contact rule is kind of weird to me and kind of silly i don't think he's doing anything wrong i've so much this is one of those shows andrew where everything that you're saying is then causing more thoughts in my mind to bloom on various topics quickly cook quickly on the subject of my flight in seattle when we last left off we're sitting on the tarmac and i'm watching the time go by and i'm freaking out well finally the flight we do move we park and i realize ah crap we're parking at the end gates of sea tack and i'm now taking off from the sea gates of sea that's a tram ride now right yeah the end gates are are you know way the heck out there but here was the thing and this is where i shout out to captain will and shout out to the very nice flight attendant i believe who was named stephanie i'm kind of antsy we get up now the we've you know the jetway is attached to the plane and they open the door everyone can leave and i i'm sitting on the inside so the person next to me who by the way was a whole situation this woman was um an older gal and wearing like a jacket that had i don't know a hundred patches on it related to the olympics and she was wearing a medal did i tell you about this yesterday no she was wearing an olympics medal on the flight and had the jacket that had all of these different like patches that were all like the decathlon the this the that i did google her on the flight because i could kind of figure out some of her from her various luggage tags and writing on her jacket she's somebody who is a very frequent participant in like the senior olympic games okay in doing olympic events but for people of a certain age so she stands up i stand up and now we're in the second row of the flight and then there's somebody on the first row who's kind of taking their sweet time and she's kind of like waiting for them and like do you want to go and the guy's like no you guys can go then she's like no after you and i'm thinking like please no let's not get into a seattle politeness off yeah like i need to be gone and as i'm starting to hustle off the off of the flight the flight attendant goes oh hey by the way i checked and your flight from seattle to portland it just got in so you're actually that flight is going to be delayed by a few minutes so you've got plenty of time to make it oh that is i was like thank you that's awesome like thank you for telling me that because it wasn't saying that in the app this was some kind of proprietary information that she had that because she was keeping an eye on old burbs she knew that i was stressed and she knew that that was information that would be relevant and And so then I made my way over to my flight, like, stress-free. That was really cool. I really, really appreciated that.

And I really appreciate and abide by, I mean, it would be really weird if I didn't, when the flight attendants, when you arrive somewhere and the flight you're on might have been delayed a little bit or for whatever the situation might be. But sometimes they say, listen, we have some people on this flight who are trying to make tight connections. And so we're going to try to get them off the plane first. Please stay in your seats. I know a lot of people just sort of tune out. And we talked about this. It's easy to do. You tune out the announcements or whatever in the plane lands. And the first thing you do is you're unbuckling your seatbelt and standing up in your luggage. And sometimes I see people doing that when I know that there are people on this flight that are trying to make this tight connection. And I always I just like I really appreciate like when you're writing public transportation around town, like you're just you're all in it together. I feel like like when you're on the E line and you see somebody is chasing the bus as the bus is pulling away from the bus stop. If you're on the bus, you've got to yell to the bus driver, stop, stop. Somebody's trying to get on. And if the bus driver ignores you, screw them. Like, we are bus people and we look out for each other. And there are those brief moments on airplanes where the same rules apply. Like, if you're at your destination but there are, you know, fellow passengers who are trying to make a tight connection, you do everything you can to make way for them.

Absolutely. Now, the other thing I wanted to say to you was about your luggage. I think I have an efficiency that next time you're traveling to a thon and you have that suitcase that's half filled with that stuff leave it in because one of two things will happen either you just get a hashtag chill TSA person who will just let it go through. they'll look at it on the x-ray and think nothing to see here or they will pull your bag to the side at which point they will come they will unzip it they will run through it with one of those little stridex pads that like tests if there's bombs in there they'll put it in the anti-bomb machine and they'll send you on your way which i still think will be shorter than unboxing it i mean you might

not have had the same experiences i've had with it i mean sometimes they're a little bit more chill when they do it but also other times they totally toss your bag and i cannot tell you how many times i've stood there and i you i get grumpy if they ask me any questions i give them a one syllable response as they're like ripping everything out of my bag and then i've got to repack it anyway but if i can at least be in charge of unpacking it and doing it in a way that i know when i get back to the end of the line i can efficiently as possible because like and i do this thing with these two mixers I have, these red mixers that I have to travel with, there's no I need them when I do the show with you and I need them when I get to my destination so I can't ship them or anything. I kind of roll them up in t-shirts and pack them in a very certain way and I just really do not like letting them rifle through all my stuff. Like if I'm going to do it, and usually when I have this much stuff, I get pulled. Like there's so much stuff in this. It looks like bombs

honestly. I think when I know, well you shouldn't strap it to your body. I think that's It's the best I have a system. What I was going to say, when I've been pulled over, it seems like, and I haven't had typically, although I travel, I mean, that's the thing. I travel with audio gear all the time, although I'm not traveling with your amount of it. But, like, when I fly to Las Vegas, I will have a mix pre. I will have actually, I'm now bringing two microphones. Two microphones says it all. I've got my regular one that I use, and then I've got the one that I had to buy, remember, on, like, the last second because I forgot to bring my gear. and that one uses a different that one can go straight into my computer as just a usbc to usbc and i now just bring that as an emergency measure in case my mix pre were to burn up or something so anyway i've got two microphones a mix pre etc but when i've been pulled over and i don't take it out of the bag i just leave it in the rare occasion i get pulled over they just run it through with that little piece of testing paper put it in the machine tell me that it's not bombs and then let me go but if they're pulling all your stuff out obviously that's like you know

that's that's a hassle yeah like i say this is i can tell you for sure this was literally half of a suitcase full of stuff that all looked suspicious you know now you're talking about

the gate agent um you know those two people that were on the speaker phone and trying to kind of like figure things out i have a story of a gate agent clearly just fully messing up and being so rude about it to me and then fully realizing it and then being i think somewhat chagrined this is like not one of those everything okay over there yeah lucy came in so because you

because we're not um doing any kayfabe about this the fact that we're doing two shows in a row has sort of kind of messed up the rhythm of the day and i'm a little bit to take her outside i am wondering if at some point if she might need to she just came in to check on me so i'm wondering if she might need to go to the bathroom, but right now I think we're good. I'll let you know.

Okay, you let me know because I don't want her suffering and I don't want you suffering. I know the anxiety around is a dog about to just drop a deuce indoors.

Right, yeah.

And I don't want you to be laboring under that anxiety either because that's not a good feeling. And this story is going to be about two hours.

I was going to say,

also we'll probably wrap up pretty soon anyway. Oh, and by the way, we're going to do Blur's Days tomorrow since we're kind of out of sync on our shows. we don't want anyone to miss out anyone who sent in a blurs day so it's going to be a special friday blurs this week

which is actually sometimes fun for a little change of pace we went to so you know a couple now almost a couple of weeks ago becca and i went to um the kind of wine country um and we were stay we're going down there for a birthday party kind of weekend get together and uh we were on we were scheduled to fly down from portland to santa rosa california and because i booked our tickets and because our tickets were together it meant that both of us were on the potentially getting upgraded list. And when that happens, it's only if there are two seats allowed on the in first class that you get moved up. Like if there was one seat, I would not get moved up because I've got someone with me and that's fine. I don't, I didn't really care when where that's a short flight. It doesn't even matter. It's like hour and a half if that, but I woke up that day and I looked at the flight schedule and I was like, Oh wow, actually there are two seats in first class. They're not together. They're in the first row and second row, but there are still two seats in first class and we are the top of the upgrade list it's my name and Becca's name and I'm watching it and actually as we were doing a show I think because that was another day where I think we doubled up maybe I get this email from Alaska Airlines congrats you've been upgraded it's like oh that's fun and you know Becca doesn't typically fly up at the front of the plane and we're going to wine country so that's a kind of a fun little treat we'll be up there together maybe we'll have a little red wine it'll be fun so I'm all kind of excited about that in the back of my mind we get to the airport i meet her at the airport and also it happens that we are on the same flight as her brother and her brother's wife and uh we're walking towards the gate and i say i better go up there because it still hasn't assigned us our seats but it told us we're in first class and uh and so and i know the exact two seats and i go yeah we're they haven't given us our seats yet but i've got to walk up there because uh i want to see what's going on and they're like oh mr fancy you guys are going to be in first class so we're approaching the gate and we look up there and i see that there are two names with check marks for having been upgraded in first class and andrew it's not me and becca it's becca's brother and his wife two people who do not fly alaska airlines as much as i do two people who are wonderful people in the world but are not road warriors of the titanium status also two people who had not received an email earlier in the day saying congratulations you've been upgraded to first class and i was deeply confused when we got to the gate and the very unhelpful gate agent said i said hi we were upgraded to first class but now we don't have seats and not only were we not in first class we didn't even have the seats that we used to have in coach they had moved becca way back in the plane in a middle seat oh my god so not only did we because we originally were in the same row in coach that was fine now we've gone

from congratulations you're upgraded to first class to you're not even sitting together and and you're not even in the same seats you used to be in it was madness and i said to the guy i was like hey uh i'm a little confused and you could just tell that he did not want to engage at all he's looking down at his screen when i get to the thing and i said hey i'm a little confused because we were i got this email that said we got upgraded but now we're not upgraded he goes well your new seats are and he lists the seats and i said well i know that but we were told that we were in first class and now we're not only not in first class we're not even in the same seats he goes that's he goes that's the computer we have nothing to do with that and i was like okay but what do you think happened and he goes he was just so incredibly unhelpful and and aggressive i hate this guy so much literally aggressive in a way that like i'm insane and i and i just kept saying like it's not even that big of a deal except that i'm a i'm confused by it and b now we're not even sitting together anymore like this is yeah and a middle world and a middle seat i mean this is crazy it's total craziness and also what are the chances that becca's brother who has the same initials as her so he goes by his middle name so when i mention his name is scott that's actually his middle name his first name is actually ronald so he is r mccullough guess who else is r mcculloch rebecca mcculloch so is it a total coincidence that we don't have first class seats anymore but two people who were not even on the wait list by the way because i was checking the wait list you can see the whole list of names here's the upgrade list they're not even on there they're not even on the top 20 people on there because that's just they just don't fly alaska a ton i mean they're technically anybody on the plane could be upgraded a service dog could probably get upgraded but that doesn't mean you're going to the chances what are the chances that someone who has the same

initials as the person who was supposed to be upgraded has somehow been upgraded with their partner and we've somehow dropped down the list it's very clearly a case of this guy updating this thing in a way that was incorrect that's the only explanation and i'm caught now in this terrible moment where i'm like kind of annoyed kind of confused i guess happy for scott and tiff

Now, do Scott and Tiff know that they are the ones? Okay, this...

They know, and now they're going into low-key. They know, we're all kind of laughing about it, but they know that they have gotten upgraded. Now, they're low-key going into a mode where they're trying to think what they don't want to consider, and they might hear this, and I'm fine if they hear this, because I'll say this to them face-to-face. What they didn't want to fully consider was that they just accidentally got our seats. because they want to, Tiff's going, well, I was on the upgrade list. I'm silver. And it's like, well, yeah, you were on the upgrade list. Don't do the voice. But you were like, they wanted to embrace a world in which this was not just obviously what it was, which a mess up where they were the beneficiaries of having the same initials as us.

Which in any other case, you would root for them. 100%. Right? Yes, of course.

But in this case, they don't want to embrace that reality. They want to construct a counter narrative where this was weirdly the flight where people who were not on the waiting list or not in the top 20 people on the waiting list suddenly are now leapfrogging the other people into the seats. And in fact, when they got off the flight, and by the way, they took the tickets at no time was it like, oh, hey, sorry, these are probably your tickets. I remember them getting off and going, yeah, some of the other people up there said they were also silver. So, yeah, maybe this was a make a wish flight, Tiff. Maybe that's what they're doing. it's just upgrading people in silver not the titanium people

oh wait wait wait I did not think that we were at the end of the story I thought that you said oh okay we're not okay okay because you're still at the gate and I'm like just

again I'm just I'm confused and I'm also really put off by like this the total like I don't know what you're talking about I have nothing to do with this I can't help you and also these are your seats they're your new seats And I'm like, we, we don't want new seats. We just want to at least be in the seats in coach we were in. And, and so I'm like, at this point, it's like, I don't want to get Scott and Tiff evicted from, I don't even really care that much. I also would like them to admit that they clearly got our seats. That would kind of feel good to me because that's, there is no logical explanation for what happened other than, oh, there was a keystroke error made by a human being who saw our McCulloch, our McCulloch and put the wrong one in. And for some vaguer from reasons that I don't understand, it pulled through the other reservation and somehow kicked us out of our seats. There's clearly a human error where somebody who had the same first initial last name, it was a confusion. So I call the airline, not on speakerphone, but I call the airline, not because I'm trying to get to get them evicted from their seats, but because I just want to know what happened. And also, do I get some free miles out of this? Like you sent me an email that said, congratulations, you're upgraded.

And now you've downgraded you. Downgraded. To splitting you up and putting one of you in a middle seat, which is like, that's terrible.

So I'm like, at least maybe I can score some kind of a, you know, something out of this since they kind of promised one thing and are doing something else. And so I get on the phone with them and I'm like walking down the concourse now because our flight doesn't board for a little while. So I'm on the phone with them. And again, this whole thing is so confusing because I can't throw a full fit because the beneficiaries of this are my in-laws. And they're there. They're not complete strangers. And again, I'm not trying to reverse this now. I'm not trying to take it away from, again, them being like, we clearly got your seats. Here are the seats. Would have also been a move.

But anyway. Are you allowed to do that, though? Are you allowed just to get, or I guess if you go up and do it officially through the gate agent.

No, you can just hand, you can hand someone else your tickets to first class. I mean, and as long as, I mean, I don't think, I've done that before when I've gotten upgraded and Becca hasn't. Well, it would be on the phone, right?

You guys aren't using paper tickets, I assume.

Yes, but I mean, what I'm saying is you can trade seats on the airplane to someone else if they're all, if they're, that's what I meant, was just like, they could have just said, sit in those seats, we'll sit back at your seats or whatever. They didn't though. so the person on the the person i'm talking to on the uh on the phone is also just like they're wildly confused they're like well you have a different plane now and it has fewer seats in first class so that's why you were moved and i was like nope doesn't check out because i'm standing down the concourse from two people that as of five minutes ago were not in first class so we're not shedding people from first class because there aren't enough seats in fact we're adding people to first class into the seats we were supposed to be.

and then finally this person goes oh i see yeah this got changed at the gate yeah this got changed at the gate guess who it was it was our guy ari and i use his name because it matters it's our guy ari at the gate who clearly just made a human error and is totally defensive because he's been now caught on his human error and doesn't know what to do but the funny part was so then we're going back to our seats he has been able to find us two he says there are two seats together but they're at the way back of the plane so we previously were in the like nicer part of coach now we're going to be together that's the good news but we're going to be in the 25th row and

i said that's fine i just rather this is this is the you're back at the gate agent now or this is the person on the phone who's helping you out agent so so you were on the phone you sort of got your answer on the phone somebody but you you you were walking around you said you weren't at the gate having this conversation between the three of them. So when you get back to the gate agent, how do you get him to listen to you or believe this phone conversation you just had?

Well, the timeline is jumping around here, but what really happened was after we were not seated together and Becca had been downgraded, he did offer us the chance to be in the 25th row together, which then is a downgrade for both of us because now we're both moved out of better coach and we're now in the literal back row of the plane, but we're together. So I was like, that's at least something. So that's been had. Now I'm on the phone. Now I'm on the phone with the airline trying to figure out why did this happen and can I get some free miles out of this? They say, I'm still on the phone walking onto the plane. I still haven't gotten the full explanation from them now. But what I notice is that Ari is like being very friendly as we're boarding the plane. His entire affect has changed to like overly nice, gone from being overly mean to overly nice. I'm like, huh, I wonder what that's about So we get on the plane, we're now sitting Beck and I are in like row 25, it's fine Again, it's not even like, it's a short flight I don't even really care, I'm just I'm mostly annoyed that he was rude to me And I'm still kind of confused And low-key, I think Scott and Tiff should have given us tickets But, all of a sudden Ari comes steaming up Steaming up the aisle On the plane with two tickets in his hand On the plane On the plane In the words of Hervé Villaché the plane the plane see i didn't do the voice that's good so he's got these two tickets and i'm like wow that's amazing i guess two more seats in first class opened up what's going on here and he's like we had two people miss their connecting flight or we had a connecting flight that was late and i was like cool he goes so i can move you guys up to the better part of coach so he moves us up now we're together but we're in the sixth row of coach together we're now at the very front that they call like premium seating or whatever back in premium baby in fact we can like see first class from where we are so like oh thanks man well that's you know now we're on like as far as the overall how this is netting out from where our original seats were to where

we are now is actually a net positive okay so you have that sort of upgraded after all sort of it's

it's it's like had this been the case i told becca i was like if this entire journey had involved us just sitting in row six of coach to fly to Santa Rosa, I would have had no problem with that. I would have been, I've been like, cool, we're in more comfortable coach seats. But then we're sitting there and I get an email from Alaska Airlines going, we're so sorry for this. We're giving you 3000 miles. And Becca gets the same email. We've both just been auto granted 3000 miles. Great. Then the very nice flight attendant from first class comes up to us and she gets down. So she kind of hunches down and she goes, I don't even know what exactly happened. I just heard it was a whole thing. It's too complicated. Here's the point. I'm taking care of you now. Anything you want. Oh, wow.

So because of your status, it's sort of like trickled down to the-

No, I think what it is is that Ari realized what had happened and is now like, I have messed up badly. I'm telling them to grant these guys miles. I'm telling the first class flight attendant, you need to take care of those people in six.

But don't you think that he's doing it because is somebody if he's just doing this and he sounded like pretty rude at the beginning of the story was he was more than pretty rude. But I have a feeling that if he was just dealing with a schlub like me, I wouldn't be getting this. I think it's because you're of your status that he suddenly cares. Right. Well, I think no.

I mean, in a roundabout way, it's because of the status, but because the status is what had us riding in first class from the jump. and he realized that he is the one that messed this up that he in in pulling the names over to the for the first class upgrades he grabbed the wrong r mcculloch and in doing that it's somehow set in in motion these course of events because he's so nice

to us now like if he was just like his whole affect has changed if he like i can tell you this when when he didn't think it was his fault he was real rude he didn't he was like his entire mood changed and i and i think it was because while as as like you know as i was walking around the concourse on the phone and as he had some time to look into what was going on without anyone right there in front of him he recognized that there had been a clerical error and so he was doing everything he could to fix it he was giving us the free miles he was moving us up to six he was telling the first class flight attendant take really good care of these people they've been

through it as if but do you think that if he realized that he had made this mistake but nobody would ever know and he would just sleep with it at night he would have done all this stuff i don't think so i think it's because he realized he screwed up with a high profile flyer and that he's got some heat on him or potential heat on him it's not getting talked about towards the back end of a podcast right like i sort of feel like he's not do if he made this mistake but he's got the attitude that i think he probably carries around most of the time is probably how you saw him at the beginning and it was just me i don't think that he cared and i understand that the whole situation wouldn't work if it were just me because of that but i'm just saying that like yes i don't think that he's like oh this was my fault now i truly care and have human emotions no i think he realizes his fault and there could be potentially some repercussions or or even internally i was sort of maybe i'm wrong about this and you would know more about it obviously but like if the airline has suddenly granted you guys each 3 000 miles there might have been some thing going on where somebody said okay we got to make it right for this flyer especially this like status flyer but also how did this happen and then somebody might have realized hey it was the gate agent hey gate agent you made a mistake you know what i mean i feel like there's heat coming from somewhere that is just beyond you potentially getting on a microphone and mentioning this in the badlands i did bring the podcast up repeatedly yeah right gate sure no i

think you're absolutely right no i think you're absolutely right because i don't think he was somebody who naturally was that worried about the emotional state of the people getting bad news from him about their ticket, something changed dramatically, and you're right, it might not have just been Paul on the road to Damascus being struck from his ride. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah. Like, it was, oh, yeah, this is like somebody who puts in a lot of miles with this airline and is not somebody, as I once said to somebody who was mad at me leaving NPR, I said something like, I am a radical isotope that you don't

need bouncing around the universe mad at you right and for some reason you then you then stopped uh fill in hosting and wait wait don't tell me for some reason those are unrelated and there's no way

to connect those there's no way to ever connect those dots but um yeah like i i think you're probably totally right but it was just like such a crazy thing and again i know this is like the least relatable story and the most first world problem to ever have like i'm not i'm not asking for any sympathy around the fact that we flew to wine country in the sixth row of the plane none of that was a problem it was just the way that it went down and how weird it was and then the weird fact that the people who were the beneficiaries of this little moment were also the people we

were going to sonoma yeah well that's kind of interesting yeah and that was a quirk and again that was where it gets what's that and they did get their first class at first when you were talking about this i sort of thought that like i i thought it ended up that like this guy was gonna realize his mistake or somehow they the company realizes the mistake and you end up in first class i actually think that would have been a very interesting dynamic too because i mean that i wouldn't have done that yeah that would be that would be pretty hard yeah i would not do that i

i don't i actually don't know if i would do that to anybody to be honest with you even a stranger yeah because if somebody if somebody was got moved up and they were excited about it and i didn't know them i don't think certainly not for like an hour and a half flight i don't think i

would i don't think i could actually super short flight yeah i don't think i could actually handle

can you imagine this you find out that technically it's your it's your seat and it was stolen from you i don't think i could handle the embarrassment of those folks or the person having the flight attendant come and kneel down and say i'm so sorry we have by the way that happened to me too a while ago, didn't I tell you that I was in first class, I was upgraded and then they said they made a mistake and they moved me out of first class? I don't think I could personally be responsible for someone getting that information and then having to get their stuff and then having to walk back and then having me go and sit in that seat. I don't think that would be part of that.

That would be one thing, but that would be the switching on the plane, which would be very specific, but if you got this resolved at the gate and they just issue you the proper, let's say, proper tickets.

the first-class tickets, and they have to call those other people up to the gate. I mean, that would also be a scenario where you'd potentially have a little bit more anonymity, except while boarding, that person or those people would know which seats were theirs. And when they're walking by you, you would just have to make sure you have some busy work going on, and you're not making eye contact. And by the way, I would say that— You know what I do? I just put these on. He's putting on his novelty glasses. And when they walk by, I go. and he closes the big novelty eyelids nothing to see here listen here add this to my hot two white wines and make it snappy add this to my hot take subway takes series when i eventually make it on the show i here's my hot take i think that if you're sitting in first class you are not allowed to make eye contact with the people who are walking back to coach because i as as i'm the person who is always walking back to coach and sometimes with the very back of the plane and i will just remind you for sympathy points i was once in the second to last row of an airplane sitting in the bathroom stank before uh we took off and there was an announcement that andrew walsh should come to the front of the plane because he got upgraded to first class on the plane i get my bag i make some jokes i roll it all the way from the back of the plane to the front of the plane only to find somebody else sitting in quote unquote my seat and i said i'm andrew walsh And he said, I'm Andrew Walsh, too. And I had to then roll all the way back to the very back of the plane and then fly. Anyway, all of that is to say that's the great that's maybe the craziest story that I've ever heard. That is on an airplane. But as a person who's always like going back to my seat, wondering, is the person in front of me going to recline their seat and make this like a really rough five hours? Like, am I going to be crunched in there? Who's my teammates? Whatever. Like, I find flying to be pretty unpleasant as a man of my kind of size in those tiny seats. I hate it when the people in first class are just watching us all walk by. Read a book. Read a book. Get into convert. I know these people have their nose in their phones most of their lives anyway. Look at your goddamn phone. I don't need you to look me in the eye as I walk back to steerage.

that's really interesting information for me because i've always thought that it's much more rude if you're in first class to avert your gaze like i please do not trouble my eyes with the hoi polloi i have thought that i'm being more a person of the people when i'm making eye contact with folks that are boarding the plane i'm looking at their kids i'm waving to their kids i'm being like a person in the world who sees you and recognizes your humanity versus I do. I'm just staring at my laptop like I can't even be bothered to look at you. But you're saying that actually feels worse.

I'm not a zoo animal. Don't wave at my goddamn kids while you're looking forward to your flight

and your warm peeing. Well, stop throwing feces and I'll stop thinking you're a zoo animal. I will continue to throw my feces. Stop furiously gooning and throwing feces and then I'll treat you I'll treat you like a human well that's good to know I'm being serious because on the times when I do end up at the front of the plane I definitely don't want to come off as listen let's just be honest being in first class is inherently rude that's my that's my subway take it is an inherently rude thing to be in first class like you have either spent a bunch of money to be there or you've hacked the system like I have but it is at it's because of the class difference that it expresses, it is inherent. It's like a billionaire. I think it should be illegal to be a billionaire. Nobody needs a billion dollars and nobody needs to be in first class. What we need to do is the whole plane needs to be coached, but with more leg room for everyone. It is an inherently unfair and classist system to have first class. But while being up there, while I'm up there with the oligarchs and the 0.01%, you're saying it's actually better if i do not make eye contact with the people going back yeah i mean i was boarding

the plane and i just like i'm walking down and there's just some guy just like sitting all like comfortable just sort of checking us all out as we walk by like i don't need that like if you're in coach you can stare at whoever you want but like i don't know it does sort of seem like oh yeah fine like yeah look at me while you're looking forward to your nice cushy flight

although i have heard it on good authority that looking's free touching will cost you Well, definitely you can touch me.

Like, that's the one thing. Oh, that's the, okay. If you want to, if everybody wants to all do tickle fingers or silly fingers. Gently graze. Gently graze your knee as you walk by. Gently graze your knee as you walk by. Love it.

Ew, ew, ew. All right. Well, that seems like as good a place as any to wrap things up here on a Thursday. I think that was a real relatability competition between the two of us there.

I think neither one of us are very relatable.

Well, the good news is we've once again failed to talk about raccoon. Oh, yeah.

I don't know if I have a lot on that. That one may go out the window.

I don't know. Thanks. I want to say thanks to our friend Michelle McShell. for sending me that article from Minnesota that I've chosen now two days in a row to not talk about because I'm going to talk about

what a struggle my life is. I will say, when I realized it was only a 90-minute flight, it did sort of change the tenor of that.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I was never that big of a problem until it was, Ari. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. I will be in Lost Wages, Nevada doing a TV story down there. So we'll see you all from Sin City. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to you all. Power out.