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The counterintuitive secret of leadership | Jessica Kriegel
TED Business

The counterintuitive secret of leadership | Jessica Kriegel

from TED Business

July 13, 2026 | 00:15:47 | Business

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Control is an illusion — and the leaders who chase it are holding their teams back. Workplace culture expert Jessica Kriegel explores the tactic that leaders who want to achieve extraordinary results should try instead. After, Modupe challenges listeners to reflect on what's something they can surrender in their lives? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:28 | Speaker 5:

With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash bank. Capital One N.A. member FDIC.

00:00:57 - 00:01:02 | Speaker 2:

mess with my phone well yes so you can help me make the decision to switch to america's best

00:01:02 - 00:01:13 | Speaker 3:

network all right but no one messed with the thermostat test drive the best benefits in wireless and america's best network free for 30 days start your trial at t-mobile.com or on the

00:01:13 - 00:01:29 | Speaker 4:

t-life app limited time subject to change data available for 30 days qualifying on t-mobile network user incompatible unlock device required one per user coverage not available in some areas see 5g device coverage and trial details at t-mobile.com best mobile network in the u.s based on analysis by Euclid Speed Test Intelligence data to each 2025.

00:01:34 - 00:04:31 | Speaker 1:

This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. Running a small business means every hire matters. A bad hire can cost you time, money, and momentum. A good hire, they can help grow your business. But finding great talent isn't easy, especially when you don't have the time or resources to sift through piles of resumes to find the right fit. That's why LinkedIn built HiringPro, your new hiring partner that screens candidates for you, so instead of sorting through applications, you can spend your time talking to candidates who are actually a good fit. With HiringPro, you can hire with confidence knowing you're getting the best talent for your business. In fact, according to LinkedIn, those hiring with LinkedIn are 24% less likely to need to reopen a role within 12 months compared to the leading competitor. Join the 2.7 million small businesses using LinkedIn to hire. Get started by posting your job for free at linkedin.com slash tedbiz, spelled B-I-Z. Terms and conditions apply. For my 50th birthday, a few of my friends got together and threw me a very special birthday dinner. I mean, they just showered me with love. I remember looking around and seeing all of their faces and just feeling so happy to see each and every one of them and overwhelmed by how much they meant to me. And I wanted to express that to them, show some gesture of kindness and love in return. I wanted to send them all little gifts, little notes. But then time got the best of me and life got away from me. Week after week, I'd say, I'll do it this weekend. But did I? Nope. I kept beating myself up. Finally, I talked to my therapist about it. She was like, what if you just let it go? They had a blast, you had a blast. They know how grateful you are. She was asking me to surrender my vision of how I wanted things to be in a perfect world. In the real world, I didn't have time to send those notes and my friends already knew how much they meant to me. What I learned, the act of surrender. It's more powerful than you might think. I'm Madhup Akinola. This is TED Business, a podcast from TED. Our speaker today, workplace culture expert Jessica Kriegel, says that surrendering can be a counterintuitive strategy for productive leadership. In this talk, she explains how experimenting with loosening the reins can lead to a more adaptive workplace culture. Then after the talk, I'm presenting you with a challenge. But first, a quick break. This episode is brought to you by PAKA.

00:04:31 - 00:06:59 | Speaker 1:

I'm always on the hunt for those staple pieces I can easily pack and know I'll be comfortable no matter what I'm doing. At this point, I don't travel anywhere without my PAKA hoodie and original cruise sweater. They're both made with the same care and unmistakable softness. Paka creates outdoor and lifestyle apparel from alpaca fiber, one of the most sustainable natural fibers on the planet. Their signature hoodie is unbelievably soft. soft, warmer than wool, yet still breathable enough to wear through whatever the day brings. It's built for real life, thermoregulating, odor-resistant, durable, and made to last. And I'm not the only one who loves it. More than 250,000 people have already picked up theirs. Once you feel the quality of Paka, you'll understand why people keep coming back. To grab your Paka hoodie, go to www.pakaapparel.com. That's www.pakaapparel.com. Support for today's episode comes from Square. Think about the local businesses that make your community feel like home. The cafe where they know your order. The shop owner who remembers your name. The service that always goes the extra mile. Those moments don't happen by accident. They happen when owners have the right tools to focus less on operations and more on the people walking through their doors. Square brings it all together in one system so businesses can run smoothly and create more of those experiences that keep people coming back. And whether you're just opening your doors or growing into something bigger, Square scales with you. No hidden fees and no surprises. With Square, you get all the tools to run your business with none of the contracts or complexity. And why wait? Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash tedbusiness. That's s-q-u-a-r-e dot com slash g-o slash tedbusiness. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. And now, Jessica Kriegel takes the TED stage.

00:07:01 - 00:09:59 | Speaker 2:

Every time I give one of these talks, I have a routine, okay? I start by showing up early and I do the sound check, I get the mic, and then I go in the halls and I walk around and I look at the audience because I want to get a sense of the vibe. And really where my mind starts to go is I prepare, you know, I get backstage, I sit down. And I start to think about all the things that I wish were a little bit different. You know, the things that are, they would be better if they were my way. So I wish the room was a little bit cooler. I wish the stage was a little bit bigger. I wish that the audience didn't look so hung over. No, you guys look great. Not you. Sometimes though, they look hung over and I get worried and I start focusing on all of the things that I can't control because ultimately I want to do a good job. You know, I'm a keynote speaker and I've been hired to show up and perform and drive results. And I'm worried that all these things might prevent me from doing that. And for leaders, you can probably relate because this is actually a very natural coping mechanism to being under pressure. You as a leader have to drive results. It is harder than it ever has been to get results right now. You have increasing shareholder expectations at the same time as employee expectations are increasing, the rapid pace of change. The workforce generally is shifting so quickly, and yet you as a leader, you still got to get those results. And so leaders tend to focus on what it is that they have to do to make it work. And they think about what they have to manage, every detail that they need to adjust, the processes and really the people, what they need to do differently. But the reality is control is an illusion. You can't control anything outside of yourself. The only thing you can control is the way that you show up. So what if instead of trying to force the world to fit into the way that you would like it to be, we tried something radical and unconventional. We tried surrender. Now, surrender can feel like a touchy-feely word, especially when we're talking about leaders driving results. But let me demonstrate surrender right now in this talk, okay? I am going to surrender. I'm going to stop talking and be quiet until someone says, now. Now? Oh, that was fast. Well, thank you. It was so much easier than I thought it was going to be. And that's kind of the point of surrender. I was thinking you guys might take 30 seconds and make me stand here quietly. And it's uncomfortable to surrender. That's part of the point. That's part of why it's so hard to surrender. But what happened in that moment. I stepped back and you, sir, you stepped in and a new dynamic was created and we did something different and we co-created this moment together. And the problem with the control mindset is that it doesn't drive results because it chokes adaptability and adaptive cultures win, not control cultures. I studied this with a Stanford graduate business.

00:10:00 - 00:13:00 | Speaker 1:

school a couple of years ago, we looked at 243 companies. We looked at their purpose and their strategy, their culture, and obviously their results. And we wanted to know which kinds of companies won. And the companies that outperformed all other types were the adaptive companies. They outperformed control companies by three times. Over the course of three years, their revenue growth was significantly higher. So how do you create an adaptive culture? That is the question. Well, it's not by telling everyone that we're going to be adaptive now and controlling the adaptability of the room, right? The way that you create an adaptive culture is by understanding your role in the co-creation of it. So to surrender is not passive. It is not giving up. It is a radical acceptance of what you need to do in that moment that you actually have control of. Now, we know that results come from actions. People are trying to drive results by focusing on the actions that people are taking, which is that control mentality. But most leaders, they think that if they want to change those actions, they have to implement a bunch of processes and procedures and maybe new workflows, right? Have a bunch of meetings, do KPIs and dashboards. And when you take that approach, you are in that control mindset. And what I found in 20 years of consulting is that people don't change because you implemented new processes. People will act in alignment with what they believe. And so if you want to change their behavior, you have to shift what it is that they believe. And once again, I can't control your beliefs, right? I can't say, okay, you're now going to be comfortable with risk-taking. Thank you. That doesn't happen. But what I can do is I can create an experience, which I control, that will shift your belief, and that belief will have you then proactively choose to take a new action, which will drive a result. So what does it look like in action? I will give you an example. From years ago, I was hired to be the CHRO, the head of HR for a technology company. And I had just had this personal moment of transformation in which I was embracing surrender in life, and I wanted to try it at work. And so what happened was I got this new job. I went to my first board meeting. I felt very special being there. And the board let us know that we had to lay off 20% of the workforce and I was in charge. Surrender. So I show up and I'm trying to figure out what to do. And let me tell you how layoffs typically go in corporate America. The executives know that it's happening months before anyone else and they control the process. They control the narrative. They get into rooms and they meet and they discuss who are we going to lay off and how many people and how is that going to affect the budget and how are we going to control the narrative and then when are we going to announce it and then they drop the axe and then they deal with the fallout. But I wanted to surrender and so I asked myself what surrender would look like in that moment,

00:13:00 - 00:15:58 | Speaker 1:

not controlling everyone else but making a choice about the experience that I could create. And so I showed up the next day at work, the day after the board meeting and I gathered everyone together and I said, I've just been told that we need to lay off 20% of the workforce. And I don't know who yet and I don't know when exactly, but we're going to be figuring that out and I'm going to let you know every step of the way. That was an experience that I created in that moment that shifted the beliefs of the people that worked on that team. Now, some of the people's beliefs that shifted were, I got to go get a job, right? They started applying for jobs and then they left. Other people though were really grateful for the transparency and it was something that they hadn't experienced before and so they said you know what I want to stay here and work with someone who's going to tell me the truth and walk through the front door. You can't mismanage the truth and you know what happened after the next couple of months as we watched people leave the organization we realized we didn't even have to do layoffs because the company had right-sized itself. And the people who left, they left of their own accord on their own terms. And the people who stayed, they were with us. They were ready to adapt to the business circumstances because they knew that we had them. Here's another example. This was from one of our clients. It was Ocean Spray. This was years ago. They had multiple plants. And one plant was in Kenosha, Wisconsin. And it was the worst performing plant in the entire company. So they hired a new guy named Tim to come in. He was the plant manager and his job was to turn it around. And Tim was the surrendered leader. So he was not interested in the command and control approach and he showed up and he was looking at, I mean, they had the highest costs in the system. They had high injury rates. They had hostile union relations. And Tim came in and he said, what can I do to change the situation? He didn't come in. A lot of plant managers would come in and they would start talking about what you guys need to do differently. You guys have to act right. right? If we don't turn this around, we're going to have to close the plant. We're going to implement a bunch of new processes and procedures. We're going to have meetings and make sure that you're on track, right? That's the command and control approach. But Tim surrendered and he asked himself, what are the beliefs that people have at this plant that need to shift? And the belief that he identified was largely resentment. I mean, there was distrust between the employees and the leaders. And he could understand why, because when the plant workers would show up in the morning. They would walk past all of the empty parking spaces that were reserved for managers that weren't even there yet because they don't show up until 9 a.m. when the office day started. So imagine that experience that's being created for those plant workers. So Tim gets everyone outside and he says, come on everyone, we have a meeting outside, goes in the parking lot, literally brings a chainsaw and chainsaws down every single reserved for manager parking sign.

00:15:59 - 00:18:56 | Speaker 1:

And then he looked at them and he said, park wherever you want. Let's go back to work. That was a powerful chainsaw moment of surrender, right? And what it did was it shifted the beliefs. There was more work to be done, obviously, but the belief began to shift in which people said, okay, this is different. These leaders, they do not, I can trust them, right? I can trust this guy. Let me see what I can do to adapt, to turn this around. They ended up reducing injuries by 75%. Their costs went down. They went from the worst, almost shutting down plant to the number one plant in the entire ocean spray ecosystem because Tim surrendered. He didn't show up and say, what do you guys got to do differently? How do I wish it was different than the way that it was. Now think of all the energy that you spend wishing things were different, wishing that they were your way so that you can be more comfortable. And there are a lot of people who don't like the word surrender because it can feel kind of weak, right? Especially military people, it conjures up images of waving the white flag and giving up. But I'm not suggesting that you give up. I'm suggesting that you give up the illusion of control, which you never really had in the first place. And you take all of that energy that you're spending in that, and you point it towards mastering yourself, the way you respond, the way you show up, especially as a leader, when you are responsible for creating experiences that will shape the beliefs of those around you. Now, the Navy SEALs have a saying, which is control the controllables. But there is a corollary, the hidden message within that is also, and stop trying to control the uncontrollables, right? So the Navy SEALs know they can't control what their brother does. They can't control what the orders are that they've been given. They can't control if the equipment malfunctions. They can't control what the enemy's doing. And when the chopper is going down in enemy territory, they're not going down thinking, well, I wish it was different. Wait, hold on. We shouldn't be here, right? They are focused on what do I need to do to adapt in this moment and respond and show up. They are experts in surrender. So my invitation to you is to experiment with surrender, letting go the illusion of control and focus on the experiences that you're creating that will shift and shape the beliefs of those around you that you're there to influence and to support that will ultimately allow them to make different choices about the actions that they want to take because they've got free will. You can't control them. I understand for leaders it's hard to understand because you've been given the title of manager and director, and so it feels like it's my job to tell everyone what to do, but ultimately they're only going to do it if they believe in it. And that is how you drive results within teams of organizations. So try surrender. It is uncomfortable sometimes, and it can feel like a risk, but every great breakthrough came when someone was willing to take a risk.

00:18:57 - 00:19:05 | Speaker 1:

So take a risk today, surrender to lead, and once more as I finish this talk, I'm going to hand it over to you. What will you do with it?

00:19:08 - 00:19:57 | Speaker 2:

This episode is brought to you by Walmart Business. The best leaders might tell you the work that moves an organization forward doesn't happen in spreadsheets or supply chain emails. It happens when you have the space to think big. That's the idea behind Walmart Business. It's built to take the friction out of running an organization so your team isn't losing hours procurement logistics, when they could just be focused on the problems that actually matter. With an ever-expanding business assortment, everyday low prices, and fast, reliable shipping, Walmart Business keeps your operations running smoothly. Shop online, in-store, or through the Walmart Business app, however works best for you. Simpler operations, smarter spending. It's Walmart built for your business. Sign up for a free Walmart business account at business.walmart.com.

00:19:58 - 00:20:00 | Unknown:

You

00:20:00 - 00:20:51 | Speaker 3:

Hey, Yetis. This is Nick and Jack from the Best One Yet podcast. Now, the last company we worked at, they used Paylocity and everything just worked. It wasn't until launching our own media business, this show, that we realized how rare that is. Because Paylocity is one delicious burrito of operational needs. They roll up HR, finance, and IT seamlessly into one delicious bite. And everything wraps together like that all at once. Your workforce, your tech stack, your business. You don't need more tools. You don't even need cilantro. You need one solution. And that is why Paylocity built a single platform to connect HR, finance, and IT with AI-driven insights and automated workflows that simplify the complex and power what's next. Or as we call it, a delicious operational burrito. Yes, we do. Experience a one place for all your HCM needs, besties. So start now at paylocity.com slash one. Paylocity.com slash O-N-E.

00:20:52 - 00:21:00 | Speaker 8:

Did you mess with my phone? Why is my connection suddenly good? We're trying T-Mobile. We switched to T-Mobile? No, we're doing a 30-day free trial.

00:21:01 - 00:21:18 | Speaker 2:

So we're paying for two phone plans? I said it's free. We keep our phone and carrier. You download the T-Life app, and we just get to take advantage of their 5G network, some of their best benefits, perks, freebies, everything. And before you ask, they didn't ask for a credit card, credit check, don't worry.

00:21:18 - 00:21:20 | Speaker 7:

So you did mess with my phone.

00:21:20 - 00:21:24 | Speaker 2:

Well, yes, so you can help me make the decision to switch to America's best network.

00:21:24 - 00:21:36 | Speaker 5:

All right, but no one messed with the thermostat. Test drive the best benefits in wireless and America's best network. Free for 30 days. Start your trial at T-Mobile.com or on the T-Life app.

00:21:37 - 00:21:51 | Speaker 4:

Limited time subject to change. Data available for 30 days. Qualifying non-T-Mobile network user and compatible unlock device required. One per user coverage not available in some areas. See 5G device coverage and trial details at T-Mobile.com. Best mobile network in the U.S. Based on analysis by Uclo Speedtest Intelligence data to each 2025.

00:21:56 - 00:23:39 | Speaker 1:

That was Jessica Kriegel at TEDxSouthlake. I love that Jessica makes the case that surrendering isn't necessarily passive. We all know control is an illusion, and it's hard to give that illusion up. But being able to do that shows a remarkable amount of self-discipline and, again, strength. So I'm going to ask you right now to challenge yourself. What are two things that you need to surrender? Is there something in your personal life you can surrender? Is there something in your professional life you can surrender? For me, in addition to writing all those thank you notes, it's responding to emails. I just can't keep up with my email. It's overflowing at this point. But I'm really clear with everyone who emails me. Listen, I'm behind. I might not see this. Don't be afraid to contact me here, here, and here, depending on what kind of information you're looking for. This disclaimer also signals that I don't expect everyone to respond to me right away either. So yes, I've surrendered control over my inbox. And you know what? It feels good to let some of that go. Now it's your turn. What can you let go of? That's it for today. TED Business is part of the TED Audio Collective. This episode was produced by Hannah Kingsley-Ma, edited by Alejandra Salazar, and fact-checked by Julia Dickerson. Special thanks to Maria Latias, Farrah DeGrunge, Daniela Ballarezzo, Tansika Sangmanivang, and Roxanne Heilash. I'm Madhu Bakanola. Thanks for listening.

00:23:49 - 00:23:51 | Speaker 8:

No, we're doing a 30-day free trial.

00:23:51 - 00:24:09 | Speaker 2:

So we're paying for two phone plans? I said it's free. We keep our phone and carrier. You download the T-Life app, and we just get to take advantage of their 5G network, some of their best benefits, perks, freebies, everything. And before you ask, they didn't ask for a credit card, credit check, don't worry.

00:24:09 - 00:24:11 | Speaker 7:

So you did mess with my phone.

00:24:11 - 00:24:15 | Speaker 2:

Well, yes, so you can help me make the decision to switch to America's best network.

00:24:15 - 00:24:27 | Speaker 5:

All right, but no one messed with the thermostat. Test drive the best benefits in wireless and America's best network. Free for 30 days. Start your trial at T-Mobile.com or on the T-Life app.

00:24:28 - 00:24:42 | Speaker 4:

Limited time subject to change. Data available for 30 days. Qualifying non-T-Mobile network user incompatible unlock device required. One per user coverage not available in some areas. C5G device coverage and trial details at T-Mobile.com. Best mobile network in the U.S. Based on analysis by Ucliff Speedtest Intelligence data to H2025.

00:24:42 - 00:24:59 | Speaker 6:

With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, It's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep.

00:25:00 - 00:25:11 | Speaker 1:

Even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about, in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash bank. Capital One N.A. Member FDIC.

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