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This Is How You Change | What Is Our Duty To Society?
The Daily Stoic

This Is How You Change | What Is Our Duty To Society?

from The Daily Stoic

July 21, 2026 | 00:09:09 | Education, Business, Society & Culture

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Change is hard but it doesn’t mean you have to be hard on yourself. 📚 Books Mentioned: In My Time Of Dying 👉 The Daily Stoic Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness course is a six-week challenge designed to change your entire relationship with habits for the better. Sign up to take the first step toward a more effective, happier life | https://challenge.dailystoic.com/habits 🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you ! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/ 🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/ 🎥 VIDEO EPISODES | Watch the video episodes on The Daily Stoic YouTube channel : https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos ✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:02:58 | Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom, into the real world. This is how you change. Changing habits is hard. It takes willpower. It means discomfort. It means doing some stuff you don't want to do. It means not doing stuff you want to do. Discipline is not exactly an easy virtue. It's not always a fun virtue, but it's wrong to think that change and discipline is about force, that it's about strictness, that it's all about struggle. When we interviewed Dr. Claire Carlisle-Tresh about her award-winning book On Habit, one of the things we asked were for tactics she recommends to people who want to quit a bad habit. And she said there's actually a really important mindset. She said, the habit is, for the moment, part of you. And it's essential that you treat it with kindness and gentleness rather than as an enemy or a monster. Otherwise, you turn your own soul or psyche or mind into a battleground. The habit needs to be accepted without being indulged. She said, okay, it's here. It is the present reality, and I would like to change. This is actually shockingly similar to some themes we see in Marcus Aurelius and in meditations. He says, celebrate behaving like a human. In another passage, he talks about how to get back to the rhythm after he's been jarred by circumstances. Philosophy wasn't just a stern taskmaster to the Stokes. It was also a solace. It was counsel. It was supposed to, as Seneca said, make you a better friend to yourself. Change is hard, but it doesn't mean that you have to be relentlessly hard on yourself, that you have to beat yourself up, that you have to fight yourself. And this is actually something we talk about in the Daily Stoic Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness challenge. It's six weeks of challenges. Yeah, but the challenges are nudging you to be what you're capable of being, pushing yourself to be better while also not beating on you. It's fun. It's enjoyable. You like who you are on the other side of it. And I think you're really gonna like it. I'd love to have you join us. You could sign up right now. at dailystoic.com slash habits. We're going to start it on July 21st, so I'd love to see it in there. We're offering a group discount if you enroll with some of your friends. And it's going to be awesome. I don't want you to think about the year is over. I don't want you to think about the person you want to become as being something out of reach. Just get after it. And you can sign up right now for the Daily Stoic Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness Challenge and get back on track to being that person you want to be. That's what it's all about. You can sign up right now at dailystoic.com slash habits. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

00:02:58 - 00:04:59 | Speaker 1:

I don't think stoicism is about being emotionless, but it is about thinking about those strong emotions. We have questioning them, getting to the bottom of them, asking if they're healthy or productive or not, asking if they're based on anything real or not. And these are all questions I've been over with my therapist over the years. I said plural because I've switched at different times in my life based on where I lived, what I need. One thing that's been consistent, though, is I always do remote therapy. I want to find the best person, which means I don't really care where they live. Also, I don't want to drive across town. I don't want to wait in traffic. I don't want to do any of that. That's where today's sponsor comes in. If you've been considering therapy, check out today's sponsor, BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes finding a therapist super easy. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you. You can switch at any time. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, and they serve more than 6 million people globally. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash dailystoicpod. That's betterhelp.com slash dailystoicpod. Most leaders have a clear picture of how work is supposed to get done, but they have almost no visibility into how it's actually happening day to day. And without that visibility, you're just making decisions like what to automate or where AI is going to be helpful based on not much more than your gut or, you know, how you've always done things. And traditional approaches, you know, you can hire a consultant, you can map out processes. Now, this could take months. By the time you get the data, it's outdated before you can even use it. And that's exactly the problem that today's sponsor, Scribe, was built to fix. Scribe is a workflow AI platform trusted by 94% of the Fortune 500. And Scribe Optimize passively captures how your team works across approved business apps and uses AI to automatically service workflows, inefficiencies, and improvement opportunities. There's no interviews. There's no manual discovery. There's no extra work for your team. And Optimize follows you across every tool involved. Does someone start something?

00:05:00 - 00:06:26 | Speaker 4:

than Salesforce. They finish it in a completely different tool. Optimize tracks it the whole way and Optimize shows you where your biggest inefficiencies are with AI power recommendations on how to fix them. And it only works on applications your admin approves. So no personal activity is captured and no one's privacy is at risk. To see Optimize in action, visit scribe.how slash stoic and mention stoic for a 30-day risk-free trial. Scribe.how slash stoic. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I have got a short break between dates on the tour I've been doing, traveling all around. I'm actually not home, I'm traveling, but this is a family thing. I've got a cool project. I can't tell you about it just yet. I'm going to do something really, really awesome. But if you want to come see me in Minneapolis in August or Chicago or Detroit, that's the 18th, 19th, and 20th. And then in October. I'm going to be in Perth and Sydney and Melbourne and Auckland. Then November, they just added a Nashville date. We've got DC in there, Boston, I think. Anyways, all that's at dailystokelive.com. But I wanted to bring you some questions from the conversation that I had in San Francisco for today's Q&A. Thanks to the folks that asked me those. And If you want to ask me a question, come see me in person yourself, dailystokelive.com.

00:06:27 - 00:06:37 | Speaker 1:

Hello. Hello. Thanks so much. That was amazing. I think I speak for all of us here. If you had one word to define you as a human being, what would that word be and why?

00:06:39 - 00:06:55 | Speaker 4:

That's a good question. I don't know. I mean, I guess I would be less interested in my own sort of biased take. My wife's around here somewhere. maybe you can ask her. You know, trying. How about that? I'm trying. Can you speak to what the Stoic

00:06:55 - 00:07:08 | Speaker 2:

view is on our duty to society in terms of, say, volunteering, donating blood, putting our efforts out besides just our own internal moral compass? Yes. I think we are put here for other

00:07:08 - 00:09:12 | Speaker 4:

people to serve the common good, as Mark Shreelius said. That's what life is all about. A couple of A couple of years ago, I read this article about someone who had done an unprovoked kidney donation. They just gave their kidney to a stranger, and I thought that was, you know, unreal. I was like, I've always wanted to do, I want to do something like that. And I was telling my wife that I was going to donate my kidney, and she was like, what are you talking about? She was like, you've never even donated blood before. And I was like, oh, maybe I should start there. So I, you know, I do that every, what is it, three months that you can. And there's something about literally watching it flowing out of your arm and it going to a blood bank for gunshot victims or people who are rushed to the hospital. Sebastian Junger wrote this incredible book recently called In My Time of Dying, where he didn't know. Just one day he's hanging out with his family and he's bleeding to death internally and he's rushed to the hospital and he's like this close to dying. And he talks about, you know, just what a powerful statement that he says, you know, everyone should vote and give blood. Those are our two basic responsibilities as humans. I think that's a pretty good one. But the idea that the Stoic is community-minded, I think, is worth emphasizing again and again and again, because it's seen so much as an individualistic philosophy, a resigned philosophy, a self-contained philosophy. and it is, which I think is what makes the Stoics uniquely suited to contribute to society, because they're not all over the place, they're not messes, you know, they're not trying to be all things to all people, they know where they can make a difference, and you know, that is one area that we can make a difference. Obviously the other big one is like, what do you decide to spend your career on? You could take a career that is highly paid, but makes the world a worse place, or you could choose a career that you think makes a positive difference. And that was a transition I made even in my own life, just thinking like, is this what I want to do with my limited amount of time here? And then I found the thing that I did, right? And so I think these are all the

00:09:12 - 00:09:39 | Speaker 3:

ways that we contribute to society. I would like to know what do you do as a father to instill the stoic virtues to your children? I have a 12-year-old, and as an adult, I struggle with cultivating my own, I guess, search for the virtues, the stoic virtues, but I think they're very valuable, especially in these challenging times. I think I would like to know, what do you do?

00:09:39 - 00:10:00 | Speaker 4:

And maybe I get inspiration from that. Yeah, this question of how do we teach our children these stoic values and virtues is the main question that I think every parent is thinking about. Obviously, my kids love hearing about stoic philosophy from me. It was all about it, because every kid wants to hear about what they're doing.

00:10:00 - 00:11:32 | Speaker 1:

what their parents do. I try, as I said earlier, I try to model the ideas. I would like them to, even if I'd never spoke about it, ever, for them to be able to deduce that this is the philosophy I live by and take seriously. That would obviously be, I think, a main sort of metric. Could you be convicted of it in a court? Could people see it from the outside even without hearing me talk about it? And I would say on a good day, yes. On most days, probably not. But it's about the trying. I do think that the best way to talk about these ideas is through stories, through the stories we lift up, and then the examples that we talk about as cautionary tales, like I'm doing tonight. What I try to do in my books and then what I try to do as a parent when I'm trying to teach and show them the world is go to these kind of foundational myths. Like in the ancient world, biography was not about, you know, this person was at this place at this time and actually, you know, look at all these, you know, let me disprove, you know, did Washington actually cut down a cherry tree or not? You know, like the obsession, I think, with the factual nuts and bolts of history, I think, is something that we've sort of gotten wrong. The purpose of history, to me, is ultimately moral instruction, like how to be a person. What kind of society do we want to have? Where are we trying to go? And so I do try to think a lot about the stories and myths and ideas that we talk about over and over and over again. And then, of course, that we try to live by as well.

00:11:35 - 00:11:37 | Unknown:

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