Muse

This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. I really love Cozy Earth sheets. I know that sounds simple, but you notice your sheets every single night, especially in the summer. I want my bed to feel cozy without feeling heavy or hot, and their bamboo sheet set does just that. It's made from 100% premium viscose from bamboo, and the sheets are soft, breathable, and help wick away heat and moisture so you can sleep cooler while still feeling comfortable. They've also gotten softer with every wash, which I very much appreciate. Cozy Earth stands behind everything they make. A 100-night sleep trial on the sheets, a lifetime warranty on the clothing, and hassle-free returns if anything isn't right. Summer should feel easy for everyone in the house. Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set is designed to keep you cool, comfortable, and actually relaxed all summer long. Head to CozyEarth.com and use my code LGPOD for an exclusive 20% off. That's code LGPOD for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here. This episode is sponsored by Indeed. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. So when the pressure's on and you need the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed, sponsored jobs is a boost whenever you need to find quality talent. It helps your job stand out in search results so you can reach candidates with the specific skills and experience you're looking for. Sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of the show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Hi there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here, we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't, and I am so glad you're here. Today is episode 471, Easier Summer Chores for Families. Today is June 1st and if you have kids, you've already started your summer at home with them or you're very close. And when kids are home all the time, the house gets dirtier, patience gets shorter,

and the pressure to make every day count mounts. We feel the same pressure for our kids to make good use of their time as we do with our own and chores are a big part of that. So today we're going to talk about how to create easier summer chores for families in a very lazy genius way. The first part of the episode will be about you and how you think as a parent of these kids. And then the second part will be like one big practical idea of how to get chores done in your house without you and your kids hating the chores or each other. After that, we'll have a little extra something where I share some thoughts on summer in a working parent household. Some of you have summers that are not reflected in some of our content or in other places too. Like if you work in an office full-time, as does your partner, if you're in a two-parent household and you're managing like camps and babysitters and grandparents and like normal life logistics in a unique season, summer is not restful. It can be even more stressful. So we're gonna take a couple of minutes at the end to talk about that. And as always, we'll celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week, which is actually like a dual situation, Lazy Genius says, in a mom and a kid getting ready for bed at night. And we'll close with a mini pep talk for when you're tired of answering questions. Before we get to all that, I am personally feeling that flutter of energy at the start of every summer. There are activities I wanna do, projects I wanna finish, plans I need to make, experiences I wanna remember. Often when I feel that flutter of excitement, It is not long before it turns into like a frantic scurry. If I don't have a thoughtful tool to help me work through my plans and hopes and trips and celebrations, I keep it all in my head and it's like fireworks in a tin can. It's like not helpful. It's not a helpful situation. Now, if you understand. that feeling and you have not tried a playbook, I encourage you to check them out. So my team and I developed these playbooks to be helpful, kind companions to your planning and mine. Like I use them every single day, every day. They're small, well-designed notebooks that settle those fireworks in a can. They ask guiding questions, give you space to write down what matters. And practically, it's just helpful to have like one place to process a trip or a party or a project keeping you from like taking notes in different places or keeping a bunch of stuff in your head that will for sure get lost we have topical playbooks for specific types of planning things like projects travel and celebrations there's also a yearbook playbook which is so fun for taking stock of what fun and memorable things came from your year. Then there are seasonal playbooks

that work three months at a time. They help you name what matters this season, figure out what you have to do and hope to do over the next few months. And then there's space to like work out how to do it, work out to-do lists, whatever else you need to keep track of. Like lots of really great blank space for that. I just love these things. I use mine every day. Plus, if you buy all four seasons, spring, summer, fall, winter, in a bundle, you get a discount. And in fact, you can choose any four playbooks and get them at a bundle price. So normally each playbook is $15 on its own. So if you got four, that's $60. But when you buy all four seasons as a bundle, you automatically get $10 off. So it's $50. And now we have added that ability for any four playbooks you want. So you put four playbooks of any kind, even duplicates in your cart. And then you use the promo code bundle at checkout and you get that 10 bucks off. You get the discounted price. It's so great. There is a also like a private Facebook group. We call it the playbook people. It is so fantastic. It's full of people who use the playbooks and there are just like bukoos of cool ideas of how to personalize your playbooks and use them in a way that works for you. We also like to ask those people for ideas as we like develop new playbooks and improve the old ones. They're just really, it's a bunch of smarties. They're so smart. So if you get a playbook, you also get access to that Facebook group. So you can check out all of that at thelazygeniuscollective.com slash playbooks. All right. Before we get into easier summer chores for families, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which make this show free for you to listen to, but before we do, just your quick reminder about the podcast recap email that we send every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens, and it summarizes the episode, shares the Lazy Genius of the week, any other segments we have on the show, and there's a little extra note from me to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you'd like to get that recap, head to thelazygeniuscollective.com slash listens. This episode is sponsored by Quince. In summer, I want the least fussy version of everything, including my bag. I need my phone, keys, wallet, and a lip balm. I do not need a tote bag that turns every errand into a weightlifting workout. The Italian leather sling bag from Quince is a dream come true in this season. It fits the essentials, goes with everything, and looks great dressed up or just running errands after going to the pool. I love that Quince has high-quality pieces that feel put together, but easy. They have 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops, with style starting at $32. Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash genius for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com slash genius for free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash genius. This episode is sponsored by Primally Pure. Summer is the season of being outside, so I'm not trying to be afraid of the sun, but I do want to be thoughtful about what I'm putting on my skin. That's what I really appreciate about Primally Pure. They're a female founded company that pays attention to the ingredients, keeps things purposeful, and makes products that support your skin without being complicated. Their SPF collection is mineral based with non-nano zinc and nourishing ingredients like mango butter and it's made without seed oils or synthetic fragrances the sun stick is the product that feels especially lazy genius to me because reapplying sunscreen is where the good intentions usually fall apart it's small mess free and designed to swipe on faces shoulders wherever you need it use code genius to get 15 percent off your Primally Pure purchase. That's www.pr.com. r-i-m-a-l-l-y-p-u-r-e.com and use code genius at checkout for 15% off your order. All right, let's get into easier summer chores for families. So what I'm about to share with you, it actually works for chores in any season, not just summer. It also works for any person, not just kids or families. The pressure to keep up with chores is present for like a ton of folks at all times a year. But I do think that pressure goes up a few notches when you're home with kids for the summer. There's also a lot of expectation to do it a certain way. So most of my examples today, it's definitely going to be geared in the direction of summer chores for a family. Absolutely. But I also encourage you to listen to this episode through your own filter. Like if you struggle with chores in some way, I can almost guarantee you are going to walk away from this episode feeling calmer and inspired and with like one single very practical thing you can do that's going to make a huge difference. So here's what we're going to cover today. I'm going to share with you four things that I want you to keep in mind when dealing with kids and chores. And then I'm going to give you a six-word framework for getting those chores done. It's too easy to get into like chore chart territory and build things way too big. And chores will only be more frustrating when you build a big old system to manage them, especially in a different season like summer. Not only are you having to like manage the kids and their chores, you're also managing an enormous system that you built in like a, like a laminating fervor. So put down a laminator and start with these four things. Number one, remember to empower, not micromanage. Yeah, we're going to start with

like a heavy hitter out of the gate. It is so easy to micromanage kids. So easy. You know how you like to do something and you want them to do it the same way. So you hover and direct and even take over if they don't get it right. Sometimes you don't even let them start because you know you're just going to end up doing it yourself. That was me for many years, many years. So kids are beginners. And like any beginner, they're like terrible at doing something well out of the gate. I do not enjoy this. I do not enjoy this energy. I do not enjoy their slowness, their mediocrity, their constant questions. Hey mom, is this water the right temperature to wash the pan? Hey mom, when do I, do I have to vacuum under the table when I vacuum? Hey mom, can I use this glass cleaner for the sink? Hey mom, hey mom, hey mom, like heaven give me all the strength. Now, here's the thing. Why do my kids ask me stuff like that? Because I did not spend their early years empowering them to try. And I still sometimes micromanage what they do now. I'm not proud of it. And I'm getting better. But it is so real, you guys. I think it makes sense that you and I want to get chores done as quickly as possible, right? We have like too much other stuff to do, too much protein to eat every day to like deal with chore empowerment. It takes way too long. But then what happens is you're left with family members, not just kids, partners too, who do not know how to clean a toilet without instruction or affirmation that they're doing it right because you have made cleaning a toilet such a big deal. I have had to spend the last few years undoing a lot of the damage I unknowingly did early on because I lived by the mantra, it's just easier if I do it. And then the irony, the cruel irony, is that you end up doing more chores yourself because it's, quote, easier, but then you resent your family for leaving you to do everything. It's like a whole thing. Micromanaging is not empowering. Micromanaging does not inspire any sort of confidence or creativity or fun. It just makes everybody annoyed, yourself included. If you go into summer chores as a micromanager, whoo baby, you will not last long. Neither will your kids. They will dread every second because it's super not fun and it makes them feel bad about themselves. Like chores themselves are rarely fun anyway, but you're making the chores even more of a chore by micromanaging, by being such a stickler. empowerment is for everyone. It's for kids, it's for partners, it's for yourself.

When people feel empowered to make decisions and to know it's okay, to mess up to do it wrong to not do it to the standard that someone else would do it when they know that that is okay your home and this summer season with lots of time together is going to feel a lot lighter it's going to feel easier and it's going to be easier to manage you need to choose empowerment rather than micromanaging so i mentioned this in a recent episode about our personal summer plans, but I hope to do a big deep clean of every kid's bedroom this summer. We did it last summer too. And last summer, I want to tell you a story about last summer, when it was time for Sam to do his room, I really did want to empower him. I personally did not want to deep clean his room. I wanted him to learn how to do it, right? Both things. Now he was resistant, of course, and overwhelmed, of course, because especially to a kid with ADHD, it's just like too many steps it's way too overwhelming so I gave him a list of small steps to begin like just simple things to get his stuff out of the way to clear out the things that don't matter just like just general small steps in a specific order so that he would not feel overwhelmed like I empowered him to do the job himself and then I left okay an hour or two later I went to check on him and his room was like I don't I don't think I can accurately describe how chaotic it was like there were there were piles everywhere it's like not even that they were piles there was no discernible order to the collections of things it was just it was crazy it was definitely not how I imagined his room to be at this juncture but I also actively wanted to

empower him right so I just was like hey bud how's it going so I'm like twitching on the inside it did not look like it was going great but that's not for me to decide it's not my room so he's like sitting in the floor in the middle of all this stuff and he had the sweetest like biggest grin on his face and he was like I didn't follow any of your advice but I'm doing great I like I laughed then and I laugh now it is just the funniest thing so I was like awesome good job keep going and then I left now did cleaning out his room take three days instead of three hours uh-huh it did it sure did but like who cares the time wasn't an issue

and he cleaned his room his own way and he did it without me breathing down his neck about it he was not efficient but he was independent this is a lesson for all of us as you enter this summer of kids being around wanting them to do chores be a person who empowers them not one who micromanages them that posture that like emotional choice it will make a huge difference in how you treat them how you organize the chores themselves everything be somebody who empowers. That's number one. Number two, encourage. Don't criticize. This is definitely like close to number one, but you can also let a kid do something independently and then criticize them after. So these two things definitely can operate independently. So as you move into summer chores for your family. I want you to be an encourager, not a critic. Thank kids for doing what you ask them to do. Encourage them that they followed through, even if it's something expected of them. Like I'm expected to feed everybody dinner. I've been doing it for 16 years. It is primarily my job and my family's whole division of labor to make dinner. And just because it's expected, doesn't mean it's not nice when someone says thank you. It's good to show gratitude, even for expected things. Just this morning, I got home from a doctor's appointment. I left Sam, my oldest, to get ready for school on his own. Like I was not home. Now he's like 16. He can do stuff. He's fine. But he also has ADHD and he gets really distracted. He always gets to school. But if I get home after he's left, sometimes there is something that he forgot to do, which is fine. The most common culprit when he is distracted and then rushed in the morning is his dishwasher level. I have shared this before. We have a dishwasher with three racks and I have three children. It is a fantastic arrangement. Every kid has a level and it is expected of them to put away the clean dishes from their dishwasher level before they leave for school. But just because it's expected doesn't mean I shouldn't encourage them. when they remember to do it so today when I got home from the doctor I I did expect that Sam's dishwasher level would still be full and it wasn't it was empty he remembered to do it which is really great when he's on his own and easily distracted so I texted him and I was like all I said was hey thanks for unloading the dishwasher Sam I didn't say thanks for remembering I didn't you know, like, because I was sure he was going to forget, right? I just thanked him for doing it. And y'all, he hearted the message. If you have a teenage boy, a hearted message is like a public

hug. He only does that when words mean something to him. He's like a thumbs up guy all the way. So encouraging him by being grateful for something that he was expected to do, It made a difference. It made him feel good. If the roles were reversed, it would make me feel good too. Encourage. Don't criticize. Begin with the good things. Say thank you for the expected things. If you need to teach your kid how to do a task a little differently because the way they're doing it clearly needs improvement, do that teaching with a heart of encouragement, not criticism. They're learning. They're probably tiny and they definitely have things they would rather do than learn how to like vacuum in a straight line. So be patient and encouraging as you lead them in doing chores. Don't be a critic. Be an encourager. That's number two. Number three, relax. Don't resent. So this one comes down to two things, perfection and contentment. If you think that something needs to be perfect, even if you don't realize you're expecting that, you will not relax when a chore is not done right. And you might even resent the person who did the chore wrong. You can't relax when you're trying to be perfect. You just can't. You cannot relax when you expect perfection. Like those two things cannot exist at the same time. There's no such thing as a relaxed perfectionist. So let it go. Let it go. Your summer will not be perfect. Your children will not be perfect. Your chore system, whatever you end up doing, it will not be perfect. The chores will not be done perfectly. Nothing about this is perfect or even close. So stop expecting it. Relax and be content. Contentment is the antidote to perfection good is here right now your kid is learning a skill even though it's taken a while and it's like making you grimace because of how bad this kid is at the chore but you shouldn't expect them to be great they're kids they're learning they're tiny they have so many other things they would rather be doing as would you so relax don't resent them for not following the plan exactly or for doing the chores poorly just like with the last point of encourage and don't criticize you can still help them learn how to do something better like they can still improve improvement's not the table here but if you do that improvement with perfection as the goal it is not going to end well for anybody so relax they're just chores that's number three

and number four is to check your expectations as you enter the summer season with kids home and figuring out how to get them to do stuff you have to acknowledge your expectations and they may be ridiculous and you need to kindly manage them if they are this connects us obviously to the first three points right if you expect perfection guess what you're gonna do. You're gonna micromanage. You're gonna criticize. You're gonna resent people. Not a fun summer, everybody. It's not a fun anything. But if you check your expectations, if you notice what's happening, if you see this season as one where you get to empower your kids, you get to encourage them in what they're learning, you get to relax as they learn it, you're gonna have a much better summer. And so are they. Those are reasonable expectations. Keep your expectations is reasonable. Check them when they're not. You and your family will have a better summer when you do. So those are the four things to remember. Empower, don't micromanage. Encourage, don't criticize. Relax, don't resent. And have reasonable expectations. Okay, so let's finish up with a six word framework that can practically help you have an easier summer of chores as a family, okay? here are your six words. Do it daily. Check in weekly. Do it daily, check in weekly, okay? Let's start with do it daily. One of the quickest ways to make chores complicated is to make the system complicated. We are very good at that here with making things more complicated than they need to be. That's probably why you listen to this podcast and read my books anyway, is that you need lazy genius principles like I do. You need these reminders because it's too easy to build a big old machine that you expect to run all summer. This is a group of builders, man. we got to calm down now if you already have a chore system that you have done in the past and it worked use it that's amazing you have developed a system that works for you usually if you start small and you let something grow it's going to grow into something that like appears complicated that really it's just naturally working because it started small and it grew, okay? So if you do that, amazing, keep going. What I'm about to share is not really for those people. It's not for the people who already have something in place because if you don't already have something in place, I don't want you to build a big old system. It's gonna die. It will not work. This is no multiple pieces or parts. These are for the people who haven't started with anything yet. They've started over. That's all that's happened. Built it big and started over. Built it big and started over. We're not doing that. We're going to start as small as possible.

And when you do start as small as possible, you actually have a chance of something sticking around. Okay, so that is why the first part of our six-word practical framework is do it daily. Just pick something to do every day. Give one thing to each person and make it simple and clear. It could be one task, like put away all the toys at the end of the day. Done. That is that kid's chore. End of story. It could be one room, you know, like one person is in charge of resetting the living room before dinner every night. Be clear about what that means, but that is their chore and that's it. It could be one chunk of time. Like every day at 1130 before anybody eats lunch or goes off to do their things or whatever, we're gonna spend, you know, 30 minutes as a family doing what needs to be done. So like tidying first, cleaning second, starting laundry, whatever it is. Or it could be like two bits of time a day, like two shorter ones, one at the start, one at the end. But the point is that there is a daily simple expectation of either task or time. Do it daily is simple. It is clear in its expectations. It is not hard to remember. If you were to do something similar to like a meal matrix with chores, where you're like bathrooms are on Monday, living rooms on Tuesday, bedrooms on it. That's too much to remember and it's too big to manage. It also makes every single day require a different amount of time. Like cleaning a whole bathroom, it takes a while, especially if it's cluttered. If you were to even think about that setup for yourself, it would be overwhelming. That's building something too big. Like I want you to really imagine that difference with me, right? If we're like, okay, we're gonna you don't have any discernible beginnings of anything currently you clean and tighter reactively okay but if i'm like all right bathrooms on monday kitchen on tuesday living room on wednesday bedroom on thursday whatever else on friday and there's no boundaries are you kidding me right now that's like that's so much that's so much you're like what do i have to do how long is that going to take oh my gosh that's such a big thing every single day do i to do that like every day, every week. Like it's too much to remember. And then it's too much to do. And seeing it all like that, especially starting from nothing, and then building something big, what that does is it fragments your brain. It makes you think that you have way more to do because of how complex it is. Okay, so that's one thing to imagine. I'm a little stressed out. I'm so sorry. Imagine something else. Imagine this instead. Every day as a family, we're going to spend 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night doing what needs doing. Done. Or every day each person is in charge of this thing, this room or this task to like keep it tidy or whatever.

That's it. That's it. That's it. Okay? Now, doesn't that feel different? It's like, oh, okay. That's reasonable. That's doable. Like I said before, right now, you're probably like tidying and cleaning reactively, you know? Like you don't have a system for it. It's just like when something is so messy you can't handle it anymore or when people are coming over, you're like, I guess we just are going to clean that up now. and and perhaps actual cleaning, like getting dirt and dust off of things, that's also reactive and probably not done very often. Y'all, that's normal. That's like most homes. But if you suddenly expect that this summer you're going to build a whole system from scratch where your entire family that doesn't already keep things clean and tidy all the time are just going to make it happen with no small steps in between, ma'am, no, that will not happen. You will, are you ready? You will micromanage, you will criticize, and you will absolutely resent your people for not meeting your very high expectations. Start small, do it daily, and whatever it is and do it daily, make it so small. Make it clear and consistent for your kids. This is what I want you to do every day, right? Just that one. This is what I would like for you to do every day. It should be one thing if they don't already have anything to do yet. If they don't already have some sort of rhythm of stuff that they're doing, give them one thing a day. That is it. do you hear me i know you got a lot you want to get done that you gotta start small give them one thing and then give it a little bit of time like let that thing find its legs and then maybe in a little while you can you can add a second thing you should even probably tell your kids that at the beginning if you're starting from scratch you know you can be like hey we're gonna start with everybody having one thing to do to help take care of the house every day. That is your thing to do. You can do it when you like and pretty much how you like. And outside of that, have a good time. And then in two weeks, when you get used to that one thing, everybody's going to get another one. If they have not already started doing chores, you have to start small. You have to. Okay. Now, if your kids are already used to doing a couple of things every day or on a regular basis, they're not going to be quite as shook by like a summer list of daily things by a couple, like more than one thing. It makes sense that when people are home more often and for longer,

they're going to make more of a mess and they will probably have more time to contribute to taking care of the home. So like in our house, that's kind of where we are. My kids already do the dishwasher every day they do their own laundry once a week sam also does the trash every week and then every day we do like tidies and various chores as needed okay so for my family even though they already have things that they're already doing it's really important that we also use do it daily i need to think about their chores in the simplest clearest way possible and not be tempted by a daggum chore chart. So I'm going to be like, every day, you're still going to do the dishwasher level and help out. But since we're all home more, let's make that helping out a bit more locked in and clear for everybody. So these are the chores that help take care of the house this summer every day. And everybody's going to choose two of them to do every single day. Which ones does everybody want? And we might do the chore wheel, spin. done. We might change it every few weeks. I don't know what we're going to do. But we're going to do it daily and we're going to keep it simple day to day. Hear me right now. You do not have to clean everything in your house. You don't have to systemize every single part of your home this summer. Just choose the most essential things. Be a genius about those things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And then do those genius things daily. done don't over complicate it okay so that's do it daily okay the other three words of our six word framework are check in weekly do it daily check in weekly this is important because even the smallest beginnings can be forgotten or grow over complicated really quickly by checking in weekly you remember what you agreed to everybody does you won't forget what everyone's tasks are because you're talking about them together on a regular basis. You're not just saying it once and then it's done. A weekly check-in is also a great time to encourage and empower your kids. Spend time thanking everybody for what they're doing. Ask helpful questions like, hey, does anybody have a task that's just like not working well for them? How can we make it better for you? Empower them to do something as well as they're able without criticizing. a weekly check-in it gives you a chance to do that to encourage and empower A weekly check-in also gives you a chance to make any adjustments for the upcoming week. So let's say there are like bigger projects to come, not just the daily task, which is typical of a summer, right? Maybe not during a school year, but it's typical during the summer. So let's say that there are bigger projects coming, like a room clean out, maybe working in the yard where you're like picking up sticks and mowing and planting flowers for the summer, all that.

It could be like anything, literally anything. What's nice about checking in weekly is that you can prepare your kids, especially the bigger ones, for those changes. They're not like thrown for a loop, right? So you might say like, hey, so this week, because every week we're checking in, this week is a great week to clean the bathrooms. It's going to be rainy, so nobody's going to the pool, and it looks like there aren't any big activities taking up a lot of time. So like, let's figure out when we want to do that together. It'll take about an hour max, so let's pick an hour that we all agree on. Really, you're just using the PLAN acronym during these check-ins. Remember the PLAN acronym from the book of the plan that I wrote? PLAN stands for prepare, live, adjust, and notice. All of those have to work together. So what do we notice? What are we noticing? What is or isn't working? And what do we notice that needs doing this week that isn't already planned out, okay? what adjustments can we make to what we have been doing to make it easier for one person or for everybody what adjustments do we need to make this week because like Johnny's going to camp or Sally's starting her summer job or the grandparents are coming to visit and we need to take care of the guest room like what adjustments do we need to make this week not forever just for this week and then you can prepare better so that you can live and enjoy your summer okay so those are your six words, do it daily, check in weekly. Really simple. And if you do those things, if you do those six words from a place of empowering your kids instead of micromanaging them, if you encourage instead of criticize, if you relax instead of resent, and if you let go of unreasonable expectations, you're going to have a really nice summer where your family is more likely to connect with each other warmly and kindly, and the essential stuff is getting done. So stop trying to build some complicated summer chore system. Just chill out, be kind, do it daily, check in weekly. And that is easier summer chores for families. This episode is sponsored by Smile Generation. There are some parts of taking care of ourselves that are easy to ignore because they're not urgent yet and the dentist can be one of them. If nothing hurts, it can feel like something to deal with later. That later has a way of turning necessary things into urgent things and that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Smile generation helps patients understand the mouth-body connection. What's happening in your mouth doesn't stay in your mouth. It can affect your heart, your brain, and your overall health. So regular dental exams and screenings aren't just about clean teeth. They're one small way to care for your whole self

before something bigger asks for your attention. Smile Generation is a community of trusted experts focused on prevention, education, and modern patient-focused care. To learn more about the connection between oral health and overall health, visit smilegeneration.com slash genius. That's smilegeneration.com slash genius to learn more about the mouth-body connection and find a trusted provider near you. this episode is sponsored by wayfair there are summer purchases that feel exciting and then there are the ones that make summer actually work right now the wayfair piece i'd tell friends to buy is a fold-out metal drying rack for pool towels truly not the flashiest recommendation but a deeply useful one because once the pool towels start multiplying they need somewhere to go that is not the floor, the chairs, the railing, or that one hook everyone pretends can hold 12 towels. That's what I like about Wayfair. You can find the beautiful outdoor furniture and rugs and lighting, but you can also find the practical thing that solves a real problem in your real house. And if you haven't tried Wayfair yet, I'd say start there. Don't overhaul everything. Search for the thing that keeps annoying you and see how many options they have. Patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. All right, it's time for a little extra something where I talk about busy summers for working parents. Okay, if your job does not adjust during the summer, but your kids, like, they still have to have something to do, summer is far more complicated than the school year. Like, during the year, the kids just go to school. They might have some sort of after-school program or sports practice or whatever, but for the most part, like, every day is predictable. You know where everyone is going to be. In the summer, it's like getting out of an escape room every day. You're managing rides to and from camp and then dealing with, like, care of your kids on weeks where there are no camps, you're handing over that care to family or friends, you're juggling more schedules than just your own, plus you're trying to get all the regular things done like food and chores and quality time together into a week that is already like screaming for you to relax and like go swimming or something because the summer pressure is there even for working parents. It can almost feel harder and all of these podcast episodes and Instagram posts and blog posts and stuff that you see, including mine, assume you're home. And that is not terribly helpful. So what might that kind of season look like? How can you lazy genius when you are a working parent in the summer? So there is an episode that might be

really helpful to you. Episode 330 is how I manage a busy season. So usually my busy seasons are logistics, but it's like a lot of to-dos. Your summer season might not have as many to-dos. It's more about calendar logistics than getting things done, but I do want to give that getting things done episode a little bit of love in case it helps. But another one to consider is episode 382, how to manage calendar logistics. Both of those might be helpful resources in figuring out a busy season, no matter what it is. Okay. So that's 3.30 and 3.82. Now, since those exist for practical help, I'm not going to go into too much of that here, but I will say on an emotional level that it's hard when your season looks different than the seasons of most of the people around you. It's like a little lonely and it's practically difficult since people might not normally be a big help when they're in a very different rhythm than yours. You know, that's not like a super great time. So first I would just encourage you to let people in, like emotionally, let a friend know that you're stressed out by the summer. And I would also really encourage you to find a friend who's in a similar situation. There is nothing like solidarity and even helpful brainstorming to get you through a wild season. I have a close friend who has similar age kids to mine, similar work rhythms to mine, even like a similar family culture. And we talk about our life logistics all the time. We have even sat down and done calendaring, that is a word, it's not, together, like just in case we can overlap and help each other with rides or keeping kids or whatever. So if you can, find a friend who gets it. Keep in touch with that friend on a regular basis for like the emotional support so you don't feel as alone. And then if possible, lean on them for practical support too. My other piece of advice is to make as many other parts of life as simple as possible. You're likely already doing that as a working parent. But summer is the time to really loosen up or to simplify things. Meals can be snacky and repetitive or like a little more convenience heavy than in other months. Chores can be basic or maybe the quality goes down because your kids are primarily responsible for them. We've already talked about that. Leave behind the guilt or anything unkind that tells you you're not doing the season well enough. Simplify your thinking and just be kind. Some seasons are harder than others and that is totally fine and normal so be kind to yourself when you're in one if this is it and there's a good chance that the summer counts if you're still working. So those are just a few words that I hope encourage those of you who are in a different kind of summer. And also don't forget to go listen to

episodes 330 and 382. And that is today's A Little Extra Something. All right, let's celebrate our Lazy Genius of the Week, Sarah Ponzini and her daughter, Emiliana. Okay, Sarah writes this. My three-year-old daughter, soon to be four, has officially followed in her mama's footsteps and started answering the magic question. I love doing baths early in the evening for my kids, especially on those rare magical nights where there are no extracurriculars. Since we still snack or eat after baths sometimes, I usually prep for bedtime, the magic question, by laying out toothbrushes with toothpaste already on them to save myself the chaos of doing it right now, or no, right before bed for all. three kids. Okay, so here's Kendra. So the magic question is, what can I do now to make something easier later? Okay, right? So Sarah is putting toothpaste on the toothbrushes when she's already in the bathroom before crazy bedtime to make brushing teeth easier later, right? I did not say at the beginning what the magic question was. Okay, moving on. So recently, back to Sarah. Now I'm Sarah again. Recently, my little helper has started getting the toothbrushes ready herself and for her siblings now to be fair it does create a bit of a mess please insert an image of a determined three-year-old aggressively applying toothpaste here but I love that she's already figuring out how to do something now to make life easier later this right here you guys this is exactly what I was talking about in this whole episode it is hard to reconcile a chore or helpful task leading to more mess. Because when kids are involved, that happens. But the point here is to not have the cleanest toothbrushes or the cleanest sink or like excellent toothpaste technique. The point is to empower little Emiliana to think in helpful, kind ways and learn how to do tasks in her own time. She's getting encouragement from a relaxed parent. Like this is so sweet on multiple levels. So thank you for sharing this, Sarah, and congratulations to you and Emiliana on being the lazy geniuses of the week. And finally, for a mini pep talk for when you're tired of being asked questions, I think this pep talk is for me. I am so questioned out right now. So many of us are. In fact, a couple weeks ago, I went to one of my daughter's arts teachers to ask about the performance that night because it's May, you know, and there's performances all the time. And I said to her, I was like, hey, can I ask you a quick question? She looked me dead in the eye and she said, no. I laughed and I was like, you know what? I get it. I get that totally. I mean, she let me ask my question and she answered it very kindly and warmly.

But like that reaction, that sentiment is so real. It's like, hey, can I ask you a question? No, you can't. I'm so sorry. I have no answers remaining. I'm done deciding things. I'm done giving information. My brain has gone on vacation. No answers are going to exit my mouth for the foreseeable future. Like that is such an end of May energy, isn't it? So if that is you, if you're so tired of answering questions and you just need everybody to leave you alone, I get it. I don't think we're meant to be on call for people to the extent that most of us are. It's like that meme from Family Guy where Stewie, like the diabolical baby, he keeps saying, mom, mama, mommy, mom, mama, over and over again, until she screams, what? And he says, hi, and runs out of the room. Like, oh my gosh. There are days where if I hear one more person yell, hey, mom, I'm going to get my car and leave. But we usually can't leave. So what do you do when you're so tired of answering questions? be honest and be kind. This teacher who's like, you know, like a friend, lovely, we know each other. She was honest, but she was also kind. Like it was kind of a joke, but she kindly and honestly shared like how she was doing with that single word. No, no, you can't ask me a quick question. I think that when we bring warmth and even comedy into this level of overstimulation and overwhelm, it disarms everyone, including us. Like the other night at dinner, I was like maxed out on stimulation and questions and decisions. And of course, of course, I quickly found myself with like one kid almost sitting on my lap. Again, we're at the dinner table. We're eating dinner. One kid is almost on my lap. The other one is handing me a school paper or something. And then the other one was asking me what's for dinner tomorrow. As like all this chatter, you know, it had been like very chattery and I just froze my eyes got all big and I just like slowly looked at all of them with like the wide eyes of a woman about to explode but kind of in a funny way on purpose they all backed off a little but they also laughed and I was like I love you all but I am declaring that for the next half hour you have a mother who knows nothing about anything please solve your own problems save your questions or direct them to another person thank you so much like they even know they know that stewie clip they will mock do it just to like grind my gears but in a funny way and that's really the main thing to remember it's like if you remain kind and if you were honest about the overwhelm and if you can inject a little lightness or even comedy into it.

The overstimulation does not go away, but it feels less oppressive and hurtful. Overstimulation, when no one knows it's there, that can feel like a betrayal, like no one even cares about you. They don't see. That if you're honest and kind and you keep that honesty light, it's easier to deal with. Yes, take a beat. Encourage your kids to solve their own problems. But in the moment, be kind and honest and keep it light. Everyone is more willing to listen and love you well when you do. And that is a mini pep talk for when you are tired of answering questions. If this episode was helpful to you, or if you have been looking for a way to support the show, please share it with someone that you know. Pass it along. Make summer chores easier for everybody. You can also leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts. All of it helps. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to thelazygeniuscollective.com slash listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I will see you next week.

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