Muse

This episode is sponsored by Ello. When your day moves fast between getting everyone out the door, meal prepping, and trying to find a small moment for yourself, the products you use should make things easier, not harder. That's where Ello comes in. Ello makes thoughtfully designed water bottles, tumblers, and glass food storage containers that fit right into your routine. Their water bottles are easy to refill, easy to carry, and leak-proof. so you can toss them in your bag without second-guessing it. They're designed to keep up with your busy day and make staying hydrated feel a little more doable. And when it comes to leftovers or meal prepping, their glass food storage containers make it simple to save dinner for tomorrow or take meals on the go with secure lids that help keep everything where it should be and not in the bottom of your bag. Visit elloproducts.com and use code TRYELLO20 for 20% off your first purchase. That's E-L-L-O-P-R-O-D-U-C-T-S dot com, code TRYLO20. This episode is sponsored by Daily Look. Have you noticed that in the summer, your go-to outfit tends to go to a lot? A graduation, a dinner out with friends, that end of the school year thing that you forgot was outside. I love a repeat outfit, truly, but sometimes it's nice to have a few fresh options that still feel like you without sacrificing your weekend at the mall. daily look is the number one highest rated premium personal styling service for women you take a style quiz then a real personal stylist not an algorithm curates a box based on your body shape preferences and actual life you try everything on at home keep what you love and send back the rest with free shipping both ways i especially love that you get the same stylist every time because getting dressed is personal and it helps when someone learns what actually works for you elevate your style by signing up at dailylook.com today Take your style quiz at dailylook.com and get 50% off your first styling fee with the code LAZYGENIUS. That's dailylook.com, code LAZYGENIUS. Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I am so glad you're here. Today is episode 474, kindly living with your kids all summer long. To those of you without kids, thank you for being here. And I'm sorry this episode is not as relevant to you this week. However, I do think that if you live with anyone, there are things in this episode

that could help you. Maybe not the part about noise, unless your partner's just like super loud during the summer. But this is a relational episode. This is an episode to help us be kind people to our people, particularly in the summer season when kids are usually home. Like we all want to be kind. We want to be thoughtful about how we treat each other. And in the pressure cooker of a weird summer, kindness and thoughtfulness might get like a little compromised. So today I'm going to share seven typical obstacles to being home with people for a long stretch of time, things like mess, interruption, bad attitudes, and how to approach them from a kind, lazy genius perspective. After that, we'll have a little extra something where I share an update on my word of the year. I don't know if any of you remember what it is, nor should you. But I'll tell you what, that word is not in a thriving state right now. So I will share how things are going with that word. After that update, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week with a great summer snack hack. And we'll finish with a mini pep talk for when what you try doesn't work. Sometimes the dependable things that help us get out of a funk, or help settle life a little bit, they don't, they don't always work the way we expect them to. So I have some words to help anyone who is struggling with that. We're going to mostly get into the episode right away today. But I did want to remind you that if you have a specific summer problem, or frankly, any problem at all, there's a really great chance we have done an episode about it already. So if you ever want to help lazy geniusing something, just search lazy genius, and then whatever word you're wanting. So let's say you're wanting help with lunch. if you search lazy genius lunch you'll find episode 84 the lazy genius guide to lunch episode 276 how to pack lunch for work and then a bonus episode about packing school lunches there's also a link to a blog post that shares the chickpea bowl which is one of my favorite super easy dump and stir lunches really whatever you're dealing with search it and you will almost certainly find some episodes or even

blog posts back in the day when I wrote those, that can help. That's also very true when it comes to summer. Like we have so many episodes that can help you with different kinds of summer problems. So just search what you need if it's not at the top of your Lazy Genius podcast feed right now. But today is all about kindly living with your kids all summer long. Or if you're a homeschooling parent, just kindly living with your kids. I think there are seven primary obstacles that make it harder to kindly live with kids all summer long. Mess, noise, interruptions, saying the same things over and over again, inconsistent schedules or rhythms, bad attitudes, and then your own guilt. So we're gonna talk about all of those. So whichever one of those just in that list speaks to you already, and it's very hard, you will leave this episode with some help. Now, the first obstacle is mess. When everyone is home all the time, a home is going to get messy. Now, lucky for you, we just talked about that last week. Last Monday was episode 473, how to deal with a messy house all summer long. I shared three things to remember. Expect the mess and let go of everything being tidy at once. See mess as evidence of life and live in your season. Then you're gonna pick one category and one room that will get the majority of your tidying attention. If that room is good, the other rooms feel better. If that category is good, the other categories feel better. Like that's the general idea. So if you didn't get to listen to that episode, especially if mess is an obstacle for your own kindness, go listen to that now, it will really help. There is also episode 423, How to Get Unstuck When Your Space is a Mess. This is an episode from last summer and that it's definitely a time when your space is always a mess, that episode has some really good questions and tips for you. But one of my favorites is asking yourself the question, is this a problem or is this a season? That'll cut right to the heart of it right there. Like your mess could be an actual problem, something that needs small steps and consistent tending, but it also just might be the season and you will handle those two things differently. So it's a good question to ask. Lots of good stuff in that episode too. So if you need help with mess, I'm not going to get into that here today because I already have and I want to get into the other six things a little more in detail. But if you would like help with mess, you have episode 473, episode 423, which are 50 weeks apart because clearly we need help with mess in the summer. All right. So let's take a quick ad break before we get into the other six obstacles to kindly living with your kids all summer long. Thanks to our sponsors who make this episode free for you to listen to. And if you're listening while you're out for a walk or folding laundry or something where you can't take notes,

you should sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email. It is a podcast recap that we send out every other Friday and it summarizes the episode so you don't have to. So if you would like that, you can sign up at thelazygeniuscollective.com slash listens.

this episode is sponsored by feeding america every act of change begins with a neighbor with someone saying we take care of each other here in food banks and food pantries neighbors pack fresh food and dignity into every box moving food from farms to families through feeding america's nationwide network so when that box reaches a home it carries more than food it carries a promise that together we can end hunger. Feeding America, led by neighbors. Give now to end hunger at feedingamerica.org. This episode is sponsored by R&Co. We have a mix of hair care

products in our house from drugstore to custom, but R&Co is what I would choose for my hair if I could only choose one thing. R&Co was founded by a collective of world-renowned hairstylists who worked on major fashion shows and editorial shoots, so the products really perform, but they don't make you feel like you need a cosmetology license to use them. I personally use the Television Shampoo and Conditioner, such a fun name, and my daughter Annie loves them too, which honestly feels like a review all by itself. She is brutal. I also love Badlands Dry Shampoo Paste when I want texture that looks intentional, and Annie loves the Candy Stripe Detangling Spray, plus it's pink and she's obsessed with the packaging. Head to randco.com slash LazyGenius and use promo code LazyGenius for 20% off your order. That's r-a-n-d-c-o dot com slash LazyGenius. Promo code LazyGenius for 20% off your order. All right, let's dive into the other six obstacles that make it harder to live with our kids all summer long. By the end of the episode...

we will have kindly come out on the other side. So the first obstacle is mess, which we already talked about. The second obstacle is noise. Summer is loud. Children are loud. Playing is loud. Arguing is loud. Plus, noise begets noise, you know? Like if you've ever sat in a room filled with many people and there are multiple conversations, like at a restaurant or at a, you know, in a retreat center or whatever, Like those conversations, they slowly get louder all at the same time because everyone is like talking over each other and it just gets noisier and noisier and noisier. That happens at home too. So what can we do to kindly live with noise? Three ideas. First, reframe the noise. That should not come as a surprise. We love to reframe things around here. Just like we look at mess as evidence of life, we can look at noise. the same way. It's just evidence of people being together. Like kids are noisy. And if we expect them to be noisy, we're less bothered by it. Like it becomes more of a neutral thing, right? Until it's not. Until you're like, and we're done. So if you are past, like you're past the reframing phase and your kids are just being so loud and you cannot see straight, like no amount of mindset shift is going to fix that. Here's your second idea. Just ask them to be quieter, but for a good reason. Like be reasonable in your request. Be human in that exchange. For example, if your boys are wrestling and screaming and you're about to lose your mind, you don't have to go up to them and scream, can everybody please be quiet? That's probably not going to work for long anyway, because the kids, they're not bothered by the noise. They're just playing. You're telling them to stop something that they don't even notice. And they don't understand the difference in what they're doing and what you're asking them to do. So you got to explain it. Be reasonable in your asks. Tailor what you say to your kids' ages and personalities and all the things. But essentially, explain what you need. Go into the room of wrestling boys. Get their attention and say, hey, looks and sounds like everybody's having a lot of fun in here. It is getting louder and louder though. And when y'all get to this level of loudness, like to this level 10, somebody usually gets hurt. So maybe let's like bring it down a few levels before that happens. Like what you got right now is a level 10. Let's bring it down to a six. Okay. Or you might say, Hey, so glad y'all are having fun. I'm starting to get a headache though. And the extra noise is not helping it go away. I do want you to keep having fun. But do you think you can keep playing, but also bring the noise level down from a 10 to like

a four or five? Can we try that? And then if y'all get back up to a 10, I think we just need to take a break from this particular game because my headache needs something quieter. Right? Now, listen, if your kid is two, that's not going to work. But like, be reasonable in your asks. Explain what's going on. Make it specific and clear. Don't just yell at everybody to be quiet. That's not gonna work for anyone. And all it does is make you angry because they're just gonna get loud again. So reframe noise as just like life and play. Be reasonable when you ask for kids to get quieter. And then the third idea is to have a set quiet time every day. Sometimes it's easier to deal with noise if you know that quiet is eventually coming. So every day, maybe after lunch or before dinner or before bed, whatever you need, start creating quiet time for everybody. If your kids can't be quiet with their siblings, separate the siblings. If your kids don't know how to play quietly on their own, give them specific quiet time tasks like reading or art or playing trucks in their room. Adjust the activity to the kid. But they might need help knowing what to do during that quiet time if that's not something that's typically in your schedule. But a family-wide time that you have every day that's quiet, man, when you know it's going to come at the end of the day or that it's going to be there tomorrow, it's such a gift. It's such a gift to everyone, actually, to learn how to be quiet and to play on their own or to rest their brains or whatever. So that is how to live more kindly with noise, okay? The third obstacle is interruption. How can we kindly live with interruption? Quite literally, just a few minutes ago, my kid came in the room like we were mid-conversation and said, hey, do you know what else I need? And then started listing off all these things he wanted for his room. Now, I'm working. He knows I'm working. And he interrupted me with something we had not talked about in precisely three days. which happens often interruption is a major part of living with kids all summer long you're working doing chores reading a book you're on the phone you're exercising you're making dinner you're taking care of another kid all sorts of things and then somebody comes in with one objective to ask or tell you something and it cannot wait that can drain a person real fast so how can we handle interruption kindly. First, I personally like 100% take a deep breath before responding to the interrupting person because I'm a reactor. And so it's good for me to like keep that reaction a little bit more tempered. I also try to not interrupt the kid back. Like I know by letting them interrupt me, I'm like not setting great boundaries for them.

not interrupting me, but it also like, doesn't feel like I'm doing a lot of good if I just interrupt them back. You know, if they start saying something and then I'm like, hold on, you're interrupting. And I just interrupted them, you know? So I usually let them say their thing. Like I look them in the eye when they're talking to me. I take a deep breath or like seven while they say whatever it is that they're saying. And then I might answer them with like whatever they were asking for. Or I will say, I hear you. That is not a problem I can solve right now. or something similar. And then I will usually remind them after the fact that I'm doing something and that they interrupted. Like, I know this hit you and it matters to you and you wanted an answer, but remember, I'm also doing something that matters to me too. So try and remember that the next time, okay? That can be like a go-to in those moments of interruption that are just kids being kids, but you're still being kind to them in the process. Now, another take is to hold expectations of being interrupted or being uninterrupted very loosely. Like, don't listen, don't start something in your house and think that you're not going to be interrupted. You will be. So expecting it, I think really helps. It helps your patience. But it also gives you time to decide how you're going to respond. Like you can explain, you can know this ahead of time. Like, okay, when a kid interrupts me while I'm doing this thing. Like you could explain that you're not available for the next 10 minutes, right? So either they need to wait for you or figure it out themselves. Have an answer ready if they do interrupt you in those 10 minutes, you know? But hold the expectation loosely that they're gonna leave you uninterrupted and you'll likely have a better time responding when it does happen. And then a final take is when you really cannot be interrupted, right? Like maybe it's a work call or you need a nap so bad. And it's one of those like don't get me unless someone is bleeding a lot of blood situations. I think it was Heather McFadden. She's host of the podcast Don't Mom Alone who I think I heard this from her where she would wear like a funny looking hat whenever she was working. And that was the cue to her kids to not interrupt her. It was her like don't bother mom hat or whatever. So you could have like a visual cue, like a hat or a sign on the door. You could have a little box where a kid can write down the question or thought while they wait for you to be done with whatever you're doing. You can have like a plan B person when you need to go take a nap. So like tell your kids that one of them is in charge for the next 15 minutes while you go take your nap. So like, hey, kids, if you need something, ask your brother, Jerry, like set guidelines for what the kids need to do in order to not interrupt you. And the more you practice this, the more the kids know what to expect and you don't really have to explain it every time. Like I can say, hey guys, I'm gonna take a timer nap. And they're like, cool.

And they know to not bother me until I come out of my room. It's great. It didn't start out that way, but that's how it works now, okay? So look them in the eyes, don't interrupt them back. Be honest about the interruption and explain why it's kind if they notice when you're doing something and have like a visual cue or some sort of plan B option when you cannot be interrupted. Those are just a few ways to deal with interruptions kindly. Okay, the fourth obstacle is repetition. It can be super hard to live kindly with kids all summer long when you feel like you say the same things over and over and over and over again, like you're refereeing the same fights. You're reminding them of the same rules prompting them to brush their teeth for the 17,000th time It's like a whole thing. So how can you deal with that repetition kindly? The first thing That's kind of a bummer but true is just to be patient like kids need a lot of reminders. They do Unless they have Like a naturally responsible. bent. You might have a kid who just has like super high executive functioning skills and can kind of run their own show and they don't need repetition and reminders. It's different, but most kids are going to need that. So expect it and be patient with them. I think this is particularly challenging with neurodivergent kids. So my son has ADHD. He does not remember things well. Like his optic is now or not now. So unless something is under his nose and absolutely needed, he's not going to think to do it. It's why he needs reminders from a person or from a list or from an alarm to do something. He'll go hours without eating because his stomach hasn't prompted him yet that he's hungry. It's just how his brain works. So a deep breath before a reminder, like another repeated reminder, that helps me remember that. Like he's a kid that needs reminders and I can help him learn how to create his own while he's still at home. Another way to kindly handle repetition is to lean into the fact that you have to do it and decide once what you're going to say. So like you might say, make sure your teeth, make sure you brush your teeth before 10 a.m., please. Like that's the mantra every time. Make sure you brush your teeth before 10 a.m., please. like don't ask each individual kid if you brush your teeth or get into that push pull of like why do I always have to remind you to brush your teeth just decide once what you're going to say during a particularly common repetitive time of day and then just say it like being a bit more robotic or chirpy or almost like a Mary Poppins about it it almost helps keep you above the emotional fray of having to ask or tell the same thing again even if you're frustrated by it just like force the tone. Be a happy robot. Decide once what you're going to say and say it. Make sure

you brush your teeth before 10 a.m., please. You know, like it'll make the frustration a little lower and you kinder. Okay. So that is repetition. The fifth obstacle is inconsistency. Oh my goodness. Summer with all of its changes and weird rhythms and camps one week and storms the next and family trips and driver's ed. Like who actually knows what's happening? When the schedule is inconsistent, when the rhythm of the day is inconsistent, especially if you are a person who thrives on consistency, summer is a recipe for unkindness. It just like knocks you off kilter simply by existing. So how can we deal with that inconsistency kindly? live in the season that's the biggest thing don't try and force the the square peg of a consistent season into the round hole of an inconsistent summer it just doesn't work and the more you try the more frustrated and potentially mean you're gonna get you have to live in the season it's probably this way every summer and you have survived other summers you're going to be okay. I think this is a place where productivity culture gets in our craw. We think that optimization and like a series of great days and consistent schedules and all the things like stacked on top of each other, that makes happy memories. It makes happy children. It's evidence that we know what we're doing. Also remember that productivity culture loves to build one day on top of the next. That's that whole like, if you're not growing, you're dying nonsense. We've been taught this idea that if we're not building upon each day, that we're wasting our life. And I vehemently disagree. You don't have to treat your life like a project to build. It's just your life. Like one day at a time, man. Try to be content where you are today. Be kind today. live in your season today. If you don't approach today, like it's part of a series of tomorrows, that's fine. You don't have to build your life that way. So summer is often one disconnected day after another disconnected day. It's a little bit like waking up in the movie Groundhog Day, except it's not all exactly the same. You might, it's like mostly the same, but you might have a sick kid or you have like gymnastics camp or some library crawl that sounded really fun two weeks ago but sounds terrible now, like superimposed over the same day over and over again. Like I think that's what summer often feels like. And I just want you to know that's okay. In fact, that's like what summer looks like for a lot of people. You don't have to create these consistent

rhythms every day in order to make it all calm. You can accept that your days are going to be pretty different. and stop trying to control them all and string them together like some big project. There's nothing wrong with creating those repetitive things. But if you're doing that because you think that's the only way and it's actually draining you because that's not how your season works, let it go, just let it go. It doesn't matter. Now, you might find some help. You might feel some relief by creating something, one thing that is consistent every day that helps you stay a little more grounded maybe it's like knowing what's for lunch or knowing what's for dinner maybe it's that quiet time I mentioned earlier when we talked about noise maybe you can take a walk around the block every day in the morning like right when you wake up even if it's raining or even if you're tired or even if you go really slowly you might read for 10 minutes you always reset the quick kitchen but no other room at night kind of like we learned in last week's episode about a messy house. You can decide some kind of anchor that keeps your days a bit more tethered if you need that. It can help you stay rooted in your season and not feel like you're completely floating. That's beautiful. But you can't do that with everything. You can't take root in every inconsistency and expect it to suddenly become consistent. You can't, it's not gonna work. Choose one thing. Root down in one thing. Keep it anchored every day as much as you can and be kind when it doesn't. But don't try to do that across the board. It's not gonna work and it's just gonna make you frustrated. Okay, so how do you live kindly with inconsistency? You live in the season. You forget productivity culture's obsession with consistent optimization and just anchor in one place that matters. Create consistency in one thing if it can help you stay on the ground a bit more until you're back in a more consistent season. Okay, the sixth obstacle is bad attitudes, yours and the children's. Frankly, I think my attitude gets in the way a lot more than theirs do. So how can we deal with bad attitudes kindly? The first idea is to me the most important. Don't let their bad attitudes turn into yours. Like stay above the bad attitude. Some of you are really good at this. You're like just unbothered by your grumpy children. Like if they have a vibe, you're like, sorry, babe, love you, mean it. And you just like go on with your life. You're unaffected. I am not that kind of person. I wish I was, but I am not. I've told this story before, but I will never forget a conversation with my friend Hannah on Mother's Day a couple years ago. I asked her what she was doing for Mother's Day that day because we were at church that morning and Mother's Day is on a Sunday. And she was like, I think I'm going to drag everyone to go on a hike with me.

And I was like, won't they complain? And she was like, yeah, but that doesn't bother me. I want to go on a hike with my family. And then to me, that was like the absolute worst thing to do on a Mother's Day is like willingly put myself in the path of bad attitudes outside to boot. Now, it's because other people's bad attitudes, not even just my children, like strangers, become mine so quickly. I am such a sponge for grumpiness. It's horrible. So it is like a personal priority for me to breathe through the stink, through the stink that the other people bring and stay above the fray. Now, I do this more easily with certain kids of mine than others, but it is something I have to like actively choose and practice because it's such a struggle for me, but I know that it matters. So that's my own work. is just to like stay above the fray of the bad attitudes and not let their bad attitude become mine. Just stay neutral, stay calm, stay above it. I also think it's really important to validate their bad attitude, like see it, you know? And set expectations for something different. Like this is always our quickest way out of a funk at our house is validate what they're feeling. Don't tell them to like buck up or stop acting that way or whatever. like I have bad attitudes too, so do you. Nobody wants to be told to like get over it when they're already mad. Nobody wants to be dismissed when they're mad. So validate the feeling that you also don't need to just leave it there, right? Set expectations for something different. Explain what you hope happens in a little bit. Explain why a good attitude will likely make the task that they're avoiding easier, like whatever the thing is. set the expectation you have for your kid so they know what it is and so that you can name it yourself you might not realize that you're expecting your kid to be out of their funk in like five minutes so that's probably good for you to know so you don't get angry when they're still mad and tan right so I won't name names but one of my children recently had a bad attitude about tending to their room okay such a funk such a bad attitude and I was like all right I know you don't want to do this and I get having a grumpy attitude about it I feel that way sometimes too that's validation I would like you to work the grumpiness out of your body by the time we leave for the pool though. You're not going to have a good time at the pool if you bring your grumpiness with you. That's setting expectations. Those two things usually help the kid feel better faster than if I'm just like, why are you having such a bad attitude? Getting on that frequency and adopting their grumpiness as my own. And if you think about it, you would too. You would get

out of your grumpiness quicker too. If you had a bad attitude and somebody honestly and genuinely was like, I know, I get it, and let you feel your feelings, and then also shared how your attitude will impact what comes next, you'd probably want to change your attitude. You'd take a deep breath, you'd dance it out, you'd put on loud music, you'd hack a laugh or hack a cry or whatever, and then you'd get to it. Our kids need that too. So you can kindly live with bad attitudes by not making their bad attitudes your own, by validating their grumpiness about whatever the thing is, and then also by kindly setting expectations for something else. And then the final obstacle is your own guilt. I think it's hard to kindly live with kids all summer long if you're wrestling with your own guilt about how that summer is going. If you have invisible measuring sticks in your head about chores and screen time and family interactions and learning new skills and cultivating independence and how well do they read alone and play alone and self-soothe and help other people and and and and you will lose your actual mind you will not stay soft and kind all you're going to do is hustle to meet this measuring stick or multiple measuring sticks or feel bad that you aren't please please let that go listen I spent entire summers watching like four or five movies a day when I was a kid and like those are some of my fondest memories like watching the sound of music and Mary Poppins and Rare Window and Arsenic and Old Lace and Swiss Family Robinson and Cheetah and the Mighty Ducks, like you guys, those were some killer summers. I don't want my kids rotting on YouTube or video games all summer either. And we're doing things to like broaden their experiences. But if you live with all this guilt about how you're not perfectly parenting your kids or teaching them all the right skills or getting them to read all the right books or that suddenly they can, I don't know, they've got this like sepia-toned 90s summer, man, you're just going to like wear yourself down to a nub. Don't become a nub. Be kind. Not every kid has to know how to do everything this summer. Not every kid has to be scheduled and regimented. Like summer can be all kinds of flavors and you can release this like manufactured guilt that you're not giving your kids the right kind of summer. Just like be a person, love them have fun be patient and kind name what matters most to you and your family and then let the rest go for now you can't be a genius about everything so use your genius energy on what matters and be lazy about the rest that is of course exactly what we do here

let go of your own guilt don't let it keep you unkind this summer because you're being unkind to yourself. Let it go. Just let it go. So if you are struggling with the obstacles of mess, noise, interruption, repetition, inconsistency, bad attitudes, or your own guilt, remember you can live with all of those kindly. There are small ways. So be patient with yourself and with your kids, as you try those small things, as you see what works, as you practice living with more kindness, even when the people are so annoying, focus on being kind and starting small, and you're going to be able to live with your kids all summer long.

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and availability varies 18 plus. All right, for today's a little extra something, I'm going to share an update on my word of the year. Now, I don't usually do a word of the year. I'm like too, I'm too responsive to my day, too much of a questioner to just assume that like one word is going to permeate my life for an entire year. It's just never been something that works well for me. But at the end of 2025, I felt differently. I felt very much like 2026 needed one particular word. And that word was flourish. I felt compelled to choose the word flourish because I don't want to just survive. You know, sometimes we have seasons that require survival, and that's fine and normal. But ultimately, I want to flourish. Well, I have just come out of a season of survival and I am barely making it on the other side I feel like I flourished the first quarter of the year but not much since April and May were like bonkers in every way major life moments like my youngest turning 10 and my oldest getting his license a massive number of activities just crazy a lot of creative energy because I turned in the manuscript for my next book, which I shared a little bit about that in the last newsletter. I really can't tell you much more other than I turned in a manuscript. You'll know more in a few months. But it was just like the craziest spring. And I'm feeling it. I do not feel like I am flourishing. My body is struggling. I'm super tired. And even though I'm out of the chaos of spring like the logistics and the scheduling and stuff summer as a season is not where I personally flourish like it's a season that teaches me a lot which I suppose is its own kind of flourishing but in general like my natural tendencies do not line up with summer's natural tendencies it's always a valuable season for me because of that because it like shakes me free of what I usually rely on, things like routine, consistency, and temperatures below 80 degrees. So I'm coming out of survival mode into a season where I don't normally thrive. I don't normally flourish. But I think just having that word flourish on my mind is helpful because I can easily see that right now I am not flourishing. My environment to grow is not as favorable as it could be, nor is my attitude, frankly. I feel more dormant than growing, but that's normal, right? That happens in plants, in seasons, and in people. There is that saying, as I mentioned before, if you're not growing, you're dying. And that saying is a pile of garbage. Stillness is good. dormancy is necessary i feel like i'm in a season where i'm not flourishing in the traditional sense

but i'm i'm trying to rest and recover from the season that like just white me out so what does what does that look like practically like what is flourishing as i just rest and recover look like it's sessions with my therapist it's joyful things like thrifting and reading and getting together with friends prioritizing those things thankfully by the time this episode releases both the nba finals and the stanley cup finals will be over because those games have ruined my sleep i need sleep so badly but i also love seven game series they've been so compelling and we have a we have the carolina hurricanes in there come on now man i really hope they won but the word flourish it's helped me notice what's missing and what i need it's helped me see what extra intention I need to support my desire to flourish, at least eventually. I'm not expecting to wake up in two days just like ready to take on the world. That's not even what flourishing is to me. Like right now, flourishing is tending to the rest and recovery that I'm in. It's making choices each day that put me in the line of becoming more myself again. Like I don't have to mechanize it. I don't have to systemize it like even though sometimes I kind of want to I mean doesn't like a like a daily flourish list sound fun you know can make my list but honestly right now I don't need a list I just need to be a person and honor what I need today

And I'm glad I have the word in my head because it reminds me that flourishing has different flavors depending on the season. And I can be patient with mine right now, it's fine. So that's my update on my word of the year and this week's a little extra something. This week's Lazy Genius of the Week is Colleen from Lincoln, Nebraska. Here's what Colleen writes. I got tired of my four children asking me for snacks all day long during the summer. So a few years ago, we implemented summer snack baskets. Every morning, I fill four small dollar store baskets with the snacks I'm okay with them having throughout the day. An example basket might be a fruit, a granola bar, a string cheese, and some goldfish crackers. The children are responsible for managing their own snacks, and when the basket is empty, the snacks are gone. It teaches them independence and gives them a bit of agency over when they get a snack, plus it saves me from hearing 900 snack requests throughout the day for 10 weeks straight. Snacking is a whole thing, especially during the summer. in fact we have an entire episode about summer snacks it's episode 369 the snack episode because dealing with all the questions about snacks can be like deeply annoying so colleen's idea of a snack basket is a great one there are a lot of ideas like that from listeners and readers in that snack episode it's like weirdly robust for just being an episode about snacks so go listen if the snacks are driving you crazy and you can get some ideas so thank you for sharing your idea with us, Colleen, and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. And now let's close with a mini pep talk for when what you try doesn't work. In seasons like this one where everything is in a weird rhythm and you need like more emotional support than you might usually need, you're going to try things to feel better, right? To make you feel more like yourself. You might have your tried and true list of ways to get back to yourself, like taking a walk or talking with a friend or digging in the garden or playing music or whatever. But what happens when you try that thing and it doesn't really work? Like you take the walk to calm down, but you still feel scattered when you're done. Or you talk with a friend who usually makes you feel great, but she was distracted or like in her own feelings today. And something about the conversation just like left you feeling worse than you felt before. Or you dig in the garden, but the ground is hard or the sun is extra hot, or you come to find out that something that you planted earlier in the season is officially dead this happened to me the other night I was in a funk after a long day the kids were needy it had been like a humid 95 degrees that day no thank you ma'am dinner was mid like I just I just felt kind of crummy so I pulled out my notebook where I draw faces specifically right now I'm drawing faces of the characters in the books that I'm reading and I caught up on a couple of faces of books that I had finished and I'd missed drawing the faces. Now, listen, I'm not a great artist. I am creative. I have moments where something that I make turns out pretty cool. But often what I draw

or paint is like fine. It's not that great. Some of it's pretty bad. Well, that, this is especially true on this particular night. I drew this like imaginary person's face. And as I was doing it, I was almost laughing at how badly it was going. It was frankly like a really, really bad drawing. and I felt disappointed I wanted the art to make me feel better I wanted to make something and look at it and like I don't know breathe some sigh of relief that like at least I made something pretty on a frustrating day yeah I did not it was not pretty I did not feel better so when that happens I just want you to remember one thing the goal the goal was not to feel better the goal was actually taking the time to try. Like if your walk was a bust, be kind to yourself that you took one at all. If your talk with your friend was a bust, be kind to yourself that you called her when you needed someone and you're going to do it again the next time. Like I drew a face, even though it was not a good face, but I drew a face. I made the choice to do something to help me get back to myself. And even if it didn't work, it was still a wise choice and it's still a choice to make again. And while we do hope to feel like more like ourselves after that choice, the result is really out of our hands. So like steward what you have and keep making the wise choice to care for yourself, even if it didn't work today, even if it didn't work today. And that is a pep talk for when what you try doesn't work. if this episode was helpful to you or if you have been looking for a way to support the show please share this with someone that you know or you can leave a kind review on apple podcasts every mention and share it makes a difference and turning more people into lazy geniuses so thank you so much for being supportive this podcast is part of the odyssey family and office ladies network this episode is hosted by me kindred Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. You can head to thelazygeniuscollective.com slash listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week.

We'll see you next time. Give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling. Ross, work your magic.