Muse

Students, what are you doing this summer? Hi, this is Chaz Giovanni, and I'm a long-time storytelling instructor with The Moth. At The Moth, we offer a free summer workshop that helps students find, shape, and tell their own true personal stories. You don't need to be a performer or even an extrovert to tell your story. Workshops are offered in person in New York City and virtually for students across the United States. Applications are open now until July 3rd. To learn more and apply, visit themoth.org slash edu.

In the blink of an eye, your entire world can shift, and a local children's hospital suddenly becomes the most important place in your life. Whether a family is navigating an unexpected medical emergency or managing a complex, lifelong condition, these hospitals are absolute lifelines for our communities. That's why the work of Children's Miracle Network is so vital. Children's Miracle Network is a leading charity impacting the health of all kids. They raise funds for 170 children's hospitals across the United States and Canada, protecting health care access for millions of families. Their network relies on dedicated corporate partners, grassroots programs, and everyday donors like us, allowing your neighborhood hospital to direct funds exactly where they are needed most. Wherever you see that familiar balloon logo, your support helps a local child get critical care. Visit cmn.org today to learn more and make a donation to your local children's hospital.

Some things are better to keep private. The reality TV you binge watch or your middle school diary. But when you open your wireless bill, you want transparency. That's why what Mint Mobile has to offer has been a breath of fresh air as I researched carriers to switch to. Mint Mobile looked at what doesn't work and fixed it, offering premium wireless for just $15 a month. You get blazing fast data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. Even better, you can bring your current phone and keep your exact same number. To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash moth. That's mintmobile.com slash moth. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash moth. That's it. There's no catch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months plan required. $15 a month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial planned term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. CementMobile.com.

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Kennedy. This week, we're talking about stepping out of your comfort zone. Those moments where you're really wondering if you're going to sink or swim. Don't most of us feel like we're in over our head a lot of the time? I think a lot of us are anxious. These are anxious times and life is a pretty anxious prospect some days. But the funny thing about it is you stand up straight and you realize the water is not so deep. We have two stories for you this week from two first-time storytellers. First up, a story from across the pond, Diana Thompson told this one at a slam we did in London where the theme of the night

was Mama Rules. Here's Diana live at the Moth. Hi, this is my first Moth ever. It's Thursday evening. I've just arrived from work half an hour ago and I'm standing outside this church hall in southwest London in the suburbs, in Surbiton actually. It's an event that I'm not interested in attending, but my mother was really keen on us going, so I went along to support. It was the open evening of the Scottish Countryside Dance Society. Does anyone know what Scottish Countryside Dance is? So it's a very complicated form of dancing that has a lot of choreography that's based on different couples, and it's all very symmetrical and very beautifully done, But it also means that if one of the dancers messes up, the entire thing falls apart, kind of. And I've done it very briefly before, but not really. And we walk into that church hall. And I don't know if you guys know, but deep southwest of London is not really as diverse as central London is. So the average age in the room was about 65. And I walked in with my mom. and our entrance was very much noticed. My mother is my height. She's wearing jeans and a very colorful top and wearing a white headscarf on her head. And in the very British polite way, everybody tried not to stare and everyone was very smiling. A couple of people approached us and they welcomed us into the space and they asked us to join the dances. And every single dance I or my mother took part in completely fell apart. The tea break happened, and I was like, yeah, we've got this. It's all right. People are not too staring. It's fine. And I go, and I grab a cup of tea for my mom. And as I look back, I see people approaching her. She's very nervous because her English is not very good, which made the instructions of the dance is not really easy for her either. So I got really worried. and I could see her nervous smile on her face and I just paced really quickly to stand by her and be there to help her with the English and I was just hoping that no one would ask that one specific question but of course everybody did. Where are you from? As a Syrian who's been living in London for eight years I do long the days when I would say Syria and people would stare at me very blank and think, oh, where was that again? But it's no longer the case. Now the questions come in three. Where are you from? Syria I said everybody smiled and nodded eyes getting wider and wider in curiosity second default question is how long have you been here well I've been here eight years my mom has

been here for about five and third inevitable question is how did you make it here and I would explain that I was a student before the war happened and then my brother was here who was also a student, and we managed to bring my mom over when we were working, and we had to apply for asylum, and it's complicated, but she made it here on a plane. I would always have to reassure everyone. You see, my mom is an amazing woman. Everybody says that about their mom, probably, but she's been through a lot in her life, before and during the war. One of the many things that happened in her life was losing her job because her architectural practice was blown up by a bomb. She lost family members and she ended up having to be forcibly displaced in a country where she hardly speaks the language at age of 56. But here we are at the church hall in Surbiton dancing to the tunes of Scottish countryside dance music. The music was about to wrap up and the evening was wrapping up and one of the society members came over to check how we enjoyed the evening and everyone was very sweet because every time we made a mistake everyone said oh no it's all right nobody gets it first you have to do it for a bit until you get on with it and the lady was explaining about the society and how to become members and so on and I was translating to mom and I said oh thank you I picked up the flyer and thought you know what yeah that's okay we'll think about it and come back and then mom pulls me my hand and goes like no we're signing up now and I'm like what weren't you here didn't you see the mess we created what do you mean sign up now she's like no no we'll sign up now and I'm like okay because when mom wants something mom wants something so we sign up and the dances are every Thursday and it's been four months now where my mom shows up every Thursday to the dance I try and do my best to be there for most of the Thursdays And every time I show up in the dances, I make sure I sit out at least a couple of dances to just watch her and just look at this woman dancing with a wide smile, messing up her steps and not caring and just enjoying herself, holding her head up high, talking to people in her very broken English and connecting with everyone and making friends. and choosing to have the life she wants, no matter what. And I think to myself, if I ever turn 61 with half of her courage, I'll be so lucky. And then last week, it was my mother's birthday. We received this phone call from the head of the college where she learns English. And we're told that my mom was nominated for the best improving student in the class of English. And she is to be awarded in the ceremony at the town hall.

And I'm 31, and I don't know if I will ever have kids of my own and become a parent. But you know that pride that people talk about when they have kids? I am so grateful for my mom because she got me to feel that even without having kids. I'm proud of my mom because my mama does rule. Thank you very much.

That was Diana Thompson. Diana says it's been exactly a year since her mother started dancing. She's continued to dance weekly and has even joined an additional beginner class. Diana says, quote, I've been going with her about twice a month, and now it's me who trembles through the dances. Thanks for sharing your story with us, Diana. I love that one. Today's episode is brought to you by by Alma. Therapy has been valuable for me, but getting started isn't exactly easy. The hardest part wasn't deciding to go, it was figuring out where to even begin. I remember scrolling endlessly, not knowing who took my insurance, wondering if I'd connect with the person on the other side. It just felt like a lot. That's why Alma really stands out to me. They make it simple to find a therapist who actually fits your needs. Their directory includes over 26,000 therapists nationwide, and you can filter by things like insurance, identity, and therapeutic approach. And 98% of their therapists accept insurance, which makes a big difference. Clients with insurance pay $20 on average, though it depends on your plan, and you can even use their free cost estimator to know what you'll pay up front. Most people find their match on the first try, and 95% connect with a therapist within a week. It just removes so much of that initial friction. Get started now at helloalma.com slash moth. That's helloalma.com slash m-o-t-h. When it comes to summer wardrobe staples, I look for versatility and comfort in fabrics that will stand up to the heat. That's why I love quince. They design elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk without the retail markup. Their dresses are perfect for all kinds of warm weather occasions. I wore one of their 100% organic cotton sundresses out the other day and received no less than five compliments from strangers. To be in compliments from strangers' territory at this price point is wonderful. Quince cuts out the middlemen and partners directly with ethical factories, pricing everything 50% to 80% less than similar brands. They also offer elevated home essentials like bedding, bath, and furniture. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quince.com slash moth for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash moth for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash moth.

Our second story today comes from Karen Crowley. Karen told this story at a slam that we did in Burlington, Vermont. The theme of the night was schooled. Here's Karen live at the moth.

so the family that i grew up in we didn't do college not as unlike didn't do college like it was a rule that you couldn't go to college but it was just not something that was part of our lives i grew up in a college town and there were those white collar professional people most of my friends parents worked as professors at the college and then there was us the families that did the blue collar work and we would maybe pour the foundation of their house or fix their cars, but we didn't go to college. So I did what I was expected to do. And at 19, graduated from high school, got married and started to work as a cashier in the grocery store, local store around the corner. And I did that for the next couple of years, very contentedly living the life that everybody expected me to live. And then for reasons that I can't remember now, my then husband and I decided to move to a different apartment. And I guess it wasn't until we got there that we thought, huh, there's actually no grocery store around the corner here. And in fact, there wasn't anything around the corner. And so there was a problem because somehow I needed to be contributing. We didn't have a second car. So we came up with a strategy. Clearly the criteria for my new job was that it needed to be on his route back and forth to work. And as long as that was the case, it was a good job. So luckily, I actually found a job that was on his way back and forth to work, and it was a clerical job. I can do this. Paperwork, okay. Well, this job happened to actually be in a residential treatment program for adolescents. These were adolescents that were struggling with the kind of issues that one is struggling with if they're an adolescent in a residential treatment program. They weren't necessarily the easiest kids. We were in a city called Brockton, Massachusetts, which you may have heard of, and it hasn't changed much in the last 30 years, so there I was. I was 22, working in this program, doing my job, getting dropped off by my husband and picked up by my husband. It's all working out okay, except that besides the fact that I like my job, I am fascinated by what's going on around me. I love these kids. They are so cool. The way that they think and the way that they make sense out of their world and the stories that they've got, and I can't get enough of these kids. So pretty soon, you know, I'm volunteering. Well, yeah, I could take this kid to the doctor's appointment and hang out, or I'll take him to the park and be the second staff person there so that they can go today. And I started spending time with those kids. and they started spending time with me you know suddenly my desk was like the spot in the program

that everybody was hanging out and slowly but surely without meaning to I kind of wandered my way into being a staff member in this program and I thought to myself well they're not going to let me get away with this for very long I didn't go to college which is a silly thing to be thinking because they all knew that I didn't go to college but somehow it was like I thought they were going to someday wake up and say, you have no right to be doing what you're doing. But they didn't. And I apparently was the only one thinking that. And I got involved in what I was doing. I spent time with the kids. I did counseling with the kids. I did groups. I took them. It was really cool and really fun. And I loved it. And I knew that I was good at it. You know, just at that point, it really owned me. I was on fire in a way that I had not ever seen anybody be before. I thought it was, you know, like the only thing that could ever have happened to anybody that was this good. But I still had this kind of gnawing in the back of my head that, you know, I might not get away with this for very long. And I occasionally took a college course, you know, just trying to stave off that inevitable they're going to throw me out of here. But they still hadn't thrown me out. And a couple of years later, I ran into a problem I hadn't really anticipated. That same local College had decided that they would place a master's level intern with us. Not an unusual thing to do, but in this case, because it was my particular focus area, I was going to be the supervisor. I was going to supervise this master's level clinician, and that was clearly going to be the end. Finally, it was here. No doubt in my mind. So I was freaked. I was really freaked. And then I met Brian, my intern, and then I was, whatever it is that comes immediately after, freaked in a big way, so intimidated by this guy who couldn't have been more of those people than anybody had ever been. And he drove a BMW. He had parents that had gone to college whose parents had gone to college whose parents had gone to college. I mean, it was just, he was one of them and I was one of us. And man, was it going to show up now. And somehow, again, here I am, almost at the end, but I'm going to hang in there. Brian didn't get a lot of supervision from me for the first couple of weeks because I really didn't feel like I had a right to speak to Brian. And so it wasn't getting much for me at all. But, you know, he was hanging out, and, you know, he seemed okay. Everything was going along. And one day at this residential treatment program, I walked into a room, and what I saw opening that door was Jimmy standing on the dining room table. Now, Jimmy was a 17-year-old kid, a big 17-year-old kid, and he had, and I quote, a propensity toward violent crime.

And Jimmy had lost it. Jimmy was standing on the dining room table screaming, screaming obscenities and Jimmy had a knife. Apparently Jimmy had managed to steal a steak knife from the kitchen and Jimmy was standing on top of this table slashing at himself with a knife. Next to Jimmy I see Brian and I say, ha, Brian's got it. I don't have to worry about this at all. Brian knows what he's doing. Brian can take care of this. Brian has the master's degree. Brian will be fine. At no point did it occur to me that I've been dealing with situations like this quite successfully for the last few years and I don't need Brian. Clearly, Brian's got it. I'm not needed. And I step back. Brian steps up. And I hear Brian say, Jimmy, I think it's very important that we recognize that these feelings that you're having are related to your abandonment issues from your mother. And, I mean, Brian got that far before it was all, it just clicked into place for me. I said, you know, Brian knows what he's doing, but he doesn't know what to do, clearly. Brian does not know what to do. He knows what's going on. he doesn't know what to do. And I knew what to do. I knew that I could step up, and I did, and I could say, Jimmy, what the hell are you doing? And Jimmy stopped, and he looked at me like, oh, you're here. And I said, Jimmy, give me that damn knife. And Jimmy gave me the damn knife, And Jimmy sat down and said, oh, you know, whatever, I'm not really. And, you know, he started to kind of sulk like I had taken away his toy or something. Jimmy was there. Jimmy was engaged. Jimmy was fine. And I knew that. And I knew that I didn't have to worry about whether or not I had a right to be there. I had connected with Jimmy. I could connect with people. I could form relationships. I could be helpful. And I had a right to do those things. Thank you.

That was Karen Crowley. This story took place about three years into what is Karen's now 40-year career in the helping profession. She says that after all this time, the fire still burns. Karen lives in Vermont with her sailing captain husband and rambunctious lab, Abby. So, what's a time that you felt like you were in over your head? Drop us a line on social media, tell us about it. The Moth is on Instagram, at Moth Stories. You can also pitch us your own story right on our website, themoth.org. We love hearing from you, so please keep reaching out. And until next time, from all of us here at The Moth, we hope you have a story-worthy week.

Podcast production by Julia Purcell. Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock On, and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller with The Moth.

The Florida summer heat is here And it's putting extra stress on your vehicle Hearing strange noises Feeling rough shifting Brakes not stopping like they should Don't ignore the warning signs Bring your vehicle to Amco for a free inspection Catching problems early can save you time Money and headaches down the road For added convenience Our Pensacola location is open 7 days a week Visit Amco today in Pensacola Or Fort Walton Beach Trust Amco to keep you safely on the road.