Muse

Paramount Plus brings you the biggest event in MMA history. Live from America's greatest stage comes UFC at the White House on Sunday, June 14th at 8 p.m. Eastern. Two massive championship bouts headline a stacked card from the nation's capital on the iconic White House lawn. In the co-main event, the pride of Brazil, Alex Poetan Pereira, aims to become the UFC's first three-division champion against French icon Cyril Ghosn for the interim heavyweight title. That bout is then followed up by two legendary strikers, with the undefeated Ilia Topuria defending his lightweight championship against America's own Justin Gaethje. These aren't the only superstars in action as fan favorites Sean O'Malley, Michael Chandler, and Diego Lopez hunt for signature victories on the greatest stage. Plus, heavyweight standout Josh Hokett returns to the octagon after an all-time classic war to face knockout artist Derek Lewis. Watch UFC Freedom 250 at the White House live on June 14th only on Paramount+. This episode is sponsored by Mountain Dew. Look for American Dew, limited time packaging, or find it in stores near you at mountaindew.com. I want to tap in right here and let you know if you are somebody that enjoys merchandise, then we got a few summer essentials for you over there in the shop. We got those gang gang tote bags, and we got some trucker hats with that foam back, that mesh back, so you can get them wet, you can get them dry, baby. You know what I'm talking about. You can get them wet and dry. Check them all out if you want that, if you do. Thank you so much. It's available at TheoVonStore.com, and thank you to anybody who's ever been supportive in any way. Amen. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian and an actor. um he's he's pretty much he's the tim burton of rhode island i think that's safe to say he's got a new show coming out later this year on netflix called the altruists um we're thankful to have him his first time being here and um he's had quite a journey uh and we're just we're excited uh today's guest is Mr. Matt Reif. How we doing here? Looking good, dude. Looking all right? Yeah. I just want to make sure I look fucking BLM adjacent. You what? I just want to make sure

that I look uh BLM adjacent yeah I want to look BLM adjacent like you wouldn't protest yourself but you'd help make the signs I just want them to know that you know I'm saying I'll yeah I'll pull up you know I'm saying 100% but I'm not getting crazy out there no no like I'll I'll hit the barbecue but I'm not hitting the march you know yeah there's gotta be a line yeah because the BLM march also I think it just got too I don't know it came at a good time in my life I had just gotten a whoop bracelet so i was all about my steps at that time oh for the blm marches yeah i was kind of right on time oh that's a great point dude people don't think about dude i wouldn't be surprised and this is a conspiracy theory a lot of those were like blm marches and like probably the you know i don't know if also maybe like the george floyd protest that was all kind of the same thing i think yeah i think so but um were the were the blm marches and stuff was all that part of like just big propaganda for like the whoop bracelet in some of those companies is that a real conspiracy if people would think it was just for the fitness aspect i don't know let's look that up on perplexity if you can dude or what are they saying is there because all i'm saying is that's smart that's smart do we put out this thing people need their steps how do we get them outdoors it's a black bracelet i'm just saying the bracelet could have been any color hey you said it i was way too early in the pod for that i mean bro this pod's been through a lot so i know man i'm so happy we finally make it happen i think we'll be fine dude me too man good to see you too good to see you too man wow i forget dude no there's no credible evidence that the blm marches were a conspiracy to sell whoops what which is a little slangish i feel like for uh for perplexity or that the protests themselves were pre-planned as a fake operation huh what is true is that the 2020 protests happened in response to the george foy killing and like many large demonstrations that included a mix of peaceful marches and some incidents of violence looting and misinformation i gotta tell you man you're you're very good at reading out loud you think your cold read skills are incredible really oh yeah i was stung over those words not even saying it out loud yeah that was very impressive i'm just glad to know that you don't have every skill dude because when you like because you were like dude you kind of you made things difficult in a lot of us bro when you were like the good looking comedian dude and first of all were hurt a lot that that was the that was the meanest part of the sentence fuck sorry you changed a lot bro when you became what you just changed the whole role it was like because comedian was a safe place for like kind of regular looking dudes who didn't have that thing bro who couldn't really go around who couldn't just walk up to a woman and be like

that's not true you literally have that everybody knows that no yes that's i thank you no man amongst the comedy community you're a piece of ass dude everybody knows this this is not true

that's absolutely true you gotta get out and ask more well i mean i mean i i i i mean i don't think so but what i do know is there's a there's only a few no you did it bro you were like oh my god and people dude i remember a lot of comedians a lot of us were we wouldn't even go out of our

houses for months after i after i came onto the scene yeah after i started doing push-ups yeah

people like ah we were making noises we'd never even made before this primal urges yeah we didn't even know what to do dude we're buying beer and just smashing the cans and just all kinds of shit people were just drinking dr pepper and just like touching themselves in parks and stuff people didn't know how to operate they didn't know how to operate brother um but yeah dude anyway good to see you bro i'm just kind of giving you a hard time no likewise man i've seen you forever i know congrats on all your success and everything bro thank you so much so cool it's wild dude it's a lot it it's a lot yeah you know what we did talk one time hold on i'm not even done with this yet is it is it does it bug you that i say the good-looking comedian thing does that bug you at all or no it doesn't bother it doesn't bother me it bothers other people i

suppose it does you think i get shit for it all the time people act like i'm the one walking

around saying it oh yeah that's the weird part oh no dude yeah because it was like what do you mean because first you heard rumors there's a guy and he's he's doing comedy and it's good and he's and he's good looking and people are like what do you mean people are calling their grandfathers grandpa there's and your grandpa would be like what do you mean and his woo bracelet would fucking start you know not good not good call Edna now like report to grandmother

I didn't realize I was affecting families

it was just a lot for people bro sorry because people had never seen that you know this is like there's some people that have like skill like a skill and then another skill like people are surprised when somebody has one skill And then they also have something else It's almost like Like Justin Tucker Do you know who that is for Baltimore The Baltimore Ravens kicker Can you bring him up Yeah yeah He's an I believe he's a Is he an opera singer He's a mezzo He's a singer He's a singer No way So we got that leg and that throat bro

Just a full body powerhouse Yeah

They said it would take a man 40 years To get out of this here prison But Andy Dufresne did it In less than 20

Bro, props to Justin Tucker I mean, that's beautiful. What do you think is the bigger flex, being an NFL punter or having that kind of skill set to opera sing?

I think that you get you—the NFL punter is just a mild thing that he's doing. It's a hobby. Yeah. Just to pay the bills while he pursues. Bro, when you got that kind of lung in you, bro, and you out there just—he's just all lungs. You ever try?

You ever try to sing like that? Like, just be like, I wonder if I can?

Yeah, I think I have, probably. Have you?

Yeah, of course. It's always like when you're in your car, you turn the radio down—you turn the volume down just enough to hear yourself. you're like am i fucking this up then you can hear yourself you're like i'm fucking ruining this song like i know i don't have it in me because you have to try eventually you don't know what skill set you might have yeah like i was watching that's a good point yeah you don't know what

skill set you might have right and who even ever even tries how many people could be like they never even tried that's unbelievable yeah like what yeah like are there things you've tried are there some side quests that you've kind of tried you know what i feel like i've been so busy

i haven't had time to really explore a lot of other avenues but i'd like to learn stuff i love learn like an instrument or something or fucking magic dude yeah you fuck with magic i mean i think

it's you know i'm kind of like that's where the black in me shows up at the surface bro when people start doing a lot lot of magic like it feels like it could be too real it just like what if this dude's doing this right here what's he doing in his all in his you know i'm saying if he's willing to show us this

yeah what's he doing at the house that's a good point but also picturing somebody learning magic in their house by themselves is also one of the funniest things i could i can imagine i can't picture anything lonelier nobody around to see your wallah or your kazam or whatever your fucking power word is I don't know is that not a magician word is that like a chef is that chef shit

that's a good question bro yeah do chefs and magicians beef over their like verbal like ejaculate or whatever it's called or like do chefs and magicians beef over like their what is it called do you think Matt

it is a delivery They're finishing syllables. Finishing syllables, yes. Is it onomatopoeia? Is that what it is?

I think it is, dude. Is that like the word for sounds? Yeah, bring that up onomatopoeia, dude. Onomatopoeia was like some kid that couldn't read good that had to go to the toilet or whatever. I remember that. We had a dude in our Sunday school and he couldn't. You just started looking at him, bro, and you could tell he had to go to the toilet. He was fidgeting. Yeah, his whole body would start shaking, bro. I'm not going to lie to you. I would have lost all my money on how to spell that word, onomatopoeia. And you'd be like, damn, onomatopoeia soon, bro. So we got to get him out of here, bro. And onomatopoeia is the process of creating a word that phonetically imitates or suggests the sound that it describes.

I didn't even know there was a T in there. I've been saying onomatopoeia my entire life. Yeah.

Well, we can take a break if you need us to. impacts and collisions so like boom bang crash you know what did it a lot was like those old comic books with like Batman oh 100% it's just the one big word bang yes back when it was Adam West was like the original Batman yeah you big comic guy you know I'm not that big into it but I think I liked it when I was a kid but I never got into the comic books I feel that did you?

no I can't do it I don't know why I'm not a big on paper kind of guy like I'm not reading the Harry Potter books I'm not doing it

yeah now i mean i could settle i think if i ever have to go to the hospital for a long time i'm saving sopranos and harry potter for not going to go to the hospital for a long recovery series yeah hospital if i get married and if my wife's in a coma or something i got to sit in there with her you just ever propped up to watch the series that's uh oh what's the um well i mean i'm gonna have just i want to have something to do i want to be able to look for because some people that's such a scary time in their life if your spouse is in a coma or something if your wife's in a coma so i want to at least be able to look forward to something so i've saved

those things till then what's that is it munchausen syndrome is where you keep somebody sick so that they need you i could see you doing that just to finish the series yeah dude like my

my wife's like she's starting like you're getting like a little bit of reading on her like her like on the harby monitor yeah yeah like oh hold on honey i'm almost done yeah hold on i got four

episodes are breaking that left dude you know that's happened to somebody oh 100 no there was a guy uh i met a guy at a show one time who he faked being sick from work for three weeks to stay home and watch tv that was like his full thing wow and his wife totally just allowed it which was like a cool mom letting you skip school that's got to be dope yeah man that's the one that's the the one i want to find a lady like that on the second day she's like oh i see what you're doing oh yeah he's not even faking anymore on day three he's just living his life she's on to him yeah and she's like i like it how long you're gonna be here

dang dude yeah that's gotta be if you get like a good partner like that but yeah dude so that's like uh what are we even talking about how the fuck did we get into watching tv onomatopoeia

onomatopoeia yeah the bangs the wallahs magic oh that's what it was what would you're tracking

yeah yeah what's your finishing term oh man because oh how did uh wallah come to be a term

I think it's ta-da. Voila is definitely a chef term. I don't know why that came to me first. Voila sounds like, oh, it tells the audience the truth. Oh. Oh. Voila came from Voila. Abracadabra. That's a classic. It's magic might be the lamest one I've heard. You do it tricky, you got to tell them what it is. It's magic. That's magic.

Hey, that's like if you're making love to a girl and it's not that good, you're like, it's sex. That's cum. Yeah. It's wiener. She's like, it's barely wiener. You're like, okay. It's not dick for sure. It's not dick. It's wiener. It's almost like one of those, like, can't believe it's not dick.

How is that not, like, Blue Chew's motto? Blue Chew. Hemspills. I can't believe it's not dick. Yeah. That's weird.

You don't pop one of those bad boys? The blue shoes? Yeah. Oh, dude, yes. And, dude, I'll even nibble just half of one. A half? Well, yeah, I kind of based it on, like, what's going on or whatever. Like, because I used to live with my buddy's dad. I used to live, brother. Wait, hold on. How could this possibly be?

Where's this going?

Yeah, it doesn't go anywhere gay. It goes to a straight place. There's no way it does. But it takes a gay route. Okay. I'm listening. I'm following the curve. My buddy's dad, in RIP, my buddy's dad just passed Wally. and i lived with him dude right out of high school i lived with him because he had a script for uh them wainer pills right and i you just could they didn't have bluetooth at the time you couldn't just be getting those uppers bro you know what i'm saying and so when somebody had it was like dude so i was like well if i live with wally then he's got a script and i can just pop him if i need him because i had a ton of sexual anxiety and he wasn't using them all he was using them he was going through them pretty quick that's what i didn't know oh i wish he'd have told me that before we signed the lease so you were gonna have visitors oh i thought dude i thought i was gonna be living large dude you know what i'm saying bro i'm just i'm just saying like his erection was getting its steps in you know he's gonna whoop around it yeah it's like yeah that's dick what was the what was the sexual anxiety that you had oh just in my 20 i had a lot of sexual anxiety bro just nerves yeah a ton of nerves what is it like i had a tough time talking with girls it made me nervous bro like super nervous because i think i had a tough relationship with my mother so even just the interaction with like looking at a woman being looked at by a horse that kind of stuff was like made me super like nervous so i think that just that didn't just it doesn't just go away kind of so then you move on through life and now now the women you're interacting with it's like about you know uh dating intimacy dating sexuality whatever wiener and then that's all you know so just some of that but anyway so i went to live and i gotta talk dude i have you here and i'm talking so much no i love the story already uh so i went to live with wally bro r.i.p shout out and uh and so we were living over there we're living in like a studio apartment too so oh no no it wasn't that bad sorry it was a one bedroom but the bedroom didn't have it just had a little balcony it didn't have like a full wall got it got it okay so i'd sleep out on the couch and he had a car and he would let me borrow his car but the car you couldn't turn it off you had to get it jumped so i would drive the car to school and i'd park like this was at loyola in new orleans i would park up by the like teacher's area and just leave it running the whole time and for some reason if the car's running they like wouldn't put a ticket on it like somebody just ran inside or whatever it's genius so i'd leave it running the whole time i was at class it would cost like maybe six dollars in gas but i would leave it running anyway he got the pills i would try to nibble off him so he didn't see and i'm trying to reshape him and shit bro i was carving him into crescent moons oh dude i was trying to make them all smaller and shit bro it i was like chiseling yes yeah i was like yeah like shifting it would be like an oval and now it's just like a diamond or something like it was trap shit bro did he ever catch you huh he never brought it up to me bro that's a gentleman and he'd have ladies over sometimes and i was learning the guitar

actually at the time and he'd have he go in there sometimes at night and play tears in heaven for them that's a song i can play tears who sings that um i did at the time it was uh eric clapton there you go would you know my name being serenaded to that would uh i don't even know if i need the pills yeah they'd be drinking orange juice and vodka in the bed and i'd go in there and just play it for them dude it's it's so hard to smash with a roommate i'm my first my first apartment

in la i was living with my manager's son at the time and it was it was a it was a studio there was just no there was no door into the bedroom so it was really an open floor plan and i was sleeping i lived on the couch and i had like the small closet and he had like what would be considered the bedroom i remember he was out of town one weekend and this girl wanted to come over and I um we we had uh we did sex in in his bed and she was like what are all those clothes doing out there I was like oh yeah I let my friend live on the couch yeah oh always yeah

yeah my friend's not doing well I would say yeah of course it may seem like I'm doing a good deed yeah he's passing through town he's like he's passing through town he put all his pictures up on the walls and shit you're like yeah he's the kind of guy he is of course travels with his memories yeah yeah he travels with his memories dude oh voila dude voila were you guys out this weekend i knew you were here for cma fest right yeah i came down for uh to do some stuff with

billboard with the red clay strays and then uh stayed in town for the shows man i fucking love it here you do yeah i almost moved to nashville but i wanted land and i wanted a lot of it right and there wasn't anything within like an hour of the city that i really liked and if you live an hour outside of nashville you don't really live in nashville you live in fucking chattanooga yeah

yeah you live a little bit further out i agree yeah it's nice there's some good land out there um yeah dude what yeah what i saw what did i see with red clay strays you were giving them an award Yeah, I gave them the

groundbreakers award for billboard that's awesome man so cool dude they're such good guys oh they're the best oh there you are right there dude bro this so there was no introduction whatsoever they just go and matt rife everybody's like wait for real turning away from the ball there's a giant open pit of like i'm gonna say 30 feet by 50 feet of people just standing like it was a wet floor nobody wanted to come close it's the weirdest thing ever yeah it's okay it's like two minutes

long yeah the guys up dude that's awesome you got to bring these guys up they're special bro you know comedy really a lot of comedians really embrace them i think a lot of if you go to their shows it's almost music for men and young men do you feel like that in a way i do i do it's i mean

it's such a i don't know it reminds me of music from like the 50s and 60s which i think was like music's golden age and i think there's a there's a yearning for that because everybody loves that sound but there's no new production of that i think they they put that out it's it's refreshing i love those guys yeah they're so good bro sometimes i feel dude it's my favorite song I'm still fine So good Kyle and I would blast that in the house For days People here living it up I think I'm fine

Thinking I'm out of their mind

Oh god it's so good dude I love them Pull up those lyrics dude Let me see those lyrics for a second You know Brandon's brother Matthew Wrote that song He wrote it? Not even in the band technically He's writing hits dude

I saw him the other night dude I knew he wrote some of their songs. Sometimes I feel like I can't feel. Obviously, this is a song about being on antidepressants then. This is a song about coming off of SSRIs, dude. This isn't real. It should be hurting. It should be hurting. This isn't real. I was alone. I was a song, music and bone, God's perfect wording. People here living it up. I think they're blind. I think they're out of their minds. Not one of them has had this. God's not giving up on me. No, I'm just fine. It's just a matter of time. I mean those are bars in there man

I think that's powerful stuff People here living I think they're blind It's like yeah how can you be so positive And all this stuff's going on

Dude I think that's kind of Sometimes it's where we are in the world And I don't even want to get negative But it's like it does feel sometimes Like we are pretending that we're okay Does that make sense?

Absolutely I mean I think I operate from a big position of just bliss I try to stay out of stuff Like I'm not a political person at all I should get torn to shreds For even saying this But I don't pay attention It seems so stressful It seems like all bad stuff And I'm like All the time It's either happened Or it's nothing I can really do about it

Yeah

So I mean Sometimes being uninformed Leads to a little bit of happiness Dude no it's a good point

I think the more I learn sometimes The more it hurts sometimes Or something hurt

I don't know what it is No I think that's life though Think about like when you're a kid You don't know anything Life is so blissful right You don't even know about all the problems going on yeah dude you're that's so right little kids are just like they don't know anything i think the more you learn as life goes by i mean i think the the magic of of

life kind of gets um smeared yeah you know sometimes i wonder it's like because sometimes we talk we'll talk about stuff on here that's like kind of political or things that like we feel a lot of it's like stuff that you end up learning about through technology too it's like we wouldn't know it if we were like back in like tribal time where we were in like these you know if we didn't have so much technology we wouldn't know a lot of this stuff but do you think that's how we're supposed to be though i don't think it's how we're supposed to be i think there will be a time in the future where we will look back and or someone will look back and they'll be like what were they

do how did they even what was happening you think do you think we're supposed to know about everything going on in the world like do you think we should know what's going on like overseas in different countries with different people it's tough dude like as human beings

well i wonder if sometimes i think that no it doesn't do us any good i mean a lot of times i'm angry about stuff that's not even in my area and then it's like where i could probably put that put that same energy towards stuff that is maybe more localized yeah or even in my own family and personal life to have a better effect on those things or try to uh but then i also i've heard people talk about like that there's no real separation like in between space and time so I wonder sometimes, like, if people, like, if you see something that's so painful in the world and you prayed enough about it or you really tried to channel, like, whatever good had been blessed to you or bestowed upon you, if you try to channel it towards, like, could you have an effect, you know? Because then that makes me think, oh, well, then there is some purpose to all of that. Yeah, absolutely. But I don't know. I don't know any of that. But it is stuff to think about. No, that's a good spiritual direction, though. I like that. You know, it's something to think about. but i don't think there's anything i can't sit here and be like sometimes like sometimes i'll be like well why don't certain people say this say speak up somebody but that's that's me like trying to project or think some way it's like everybody's on their own thing yeah of course sometimes i maybe have wishes but sometimes it's like yeah it'd be better just to like sit and laugh sometimes people just want their comedians to just joke around and not be yeah not be talking about other stuff yeah sometimes

just because somebody doesn't speak up on something doesn't mean that they're not empathetic about it maybe they just maybe they can't handle it maybe that's just not where they're they may not have blinders on that you know they have their sights on something specific or just minding their own

business yeah doesn't always mean they're a bad person i don't think no i don't think so either yeah like i have friends and my buddy's like dude i i was like do you ever think about this or worry about this he's like well you know i got a couple kids my kids right now and i have a kid who you know he has a kid that has some learning disabilities like i just spent i have to focus all on that it's like you can't fault that it's like no i think that's actually better i think i

think general i think uh focusing a lot of your energy on the things more direct to you i think can be a good thing i think that's a lot more peaceful think about the things that get like people are complaining online all the time about something right yes all the time it's like okay is that thing you're complaining about to you personally more important than like you know your kid's baseball game or whatever it is or their birthday party coming up or something that's

more important to you directly right if you're sitting in the stands like you're like mastering a tweet and you miss your kids like you know double or he gets a hit i agree how do you even have time to do that if you're not focused on something more important and sometimes we'll leave i'll notice i'll find other things to worry about so i don't have to worry about my own shit i don't know if that's healthy or not oh i don't think it is at all but i notice i'll even use worrying about other stuff sometimes as like a method of like escapism from like not taking

care of the things i need to be taken care of that's a very good point next time my dick doesn't get hard i'm gonna be like it's just with everything going on in iran right now you know what i mean like how can you even possibly expect me to pee up right now wait you're expecting sex

when there are people starving somewhere okay i think it's perfect yeah oh my penis doesn't work it's obvious you know that's look there's stuff happening in gaza right now and you're expecting what are you you're expecting a lot okay you want troops on the ground over here right but you don't want it over there what are we talking it is kind of that's what that's hilarious dude yeah that's Mr. X yeah yeah yeah it's that time not it's not time to get a divorce or anything like that it's that time for prize picks that's what I'm saying prize picks is America's number one sports Picks app. The app is really simple to use. To get started, you just pick more or less on two plus player stat projections and lock your picks in. That's how you do it. Or if you'd rather just pick teams and you can do that, Prize Picks has that now too. Just pick the winner. Spread and total on any major game or fight. Simple. And with the UFC White House card this weekend, There's no better time to get in on the action. Make a UFC lineup or just pick the winner of the fights and keep it simple. For my picks right here, I'm going to rock with Bo Nickel right there. More than two and a half rounds. Josh Hokett, more than half of a round. And I'm going with the highlight, baby, Justin Gaethje. more than 44.5 significant strikes. What a card, baby. What a card. You can even follow me at Theovan directly in the app. You can see your friends' picks and mine. Tail with caution. I am a novice. Best of all, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup. That's it. Win or lose, you get $50 in lineups. Use promo code Theo when you download the app and sign up today. prize picks code theo play responsibly as most of you guys are aware moon pay is my go-to place to buy crypto it is that's just the facts and now moon pay just launched something new called moon pay agents it's tech that lets ai actually handle your crypto for you that big guy think of it like a smart assistant that can buy, sell, trade, swap coins, set up recurring buys, and even convert crypto back into cash all on your behalf. You just set up a wallet through MoonPay, verify your identity once, just once, fund it with a bank transfer, Apple Pay, Venmo, or PayPal, and your agent can get to work. Your keys stay on your device so you are in control. And it works across

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agents at moonpay.com slash agents. Crypto is risky and can be volatile. So do your own research and trade responsibly. Yeah, I don't, it's, I mean, it is, it's, I think if we didn't have as much technology, would we take on the world as much, you know? Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't

think it's healthy for us. I mean, obviously there's so much good to be learned, you know, but I do feel like it distracts us from a lot of things you probably should be focusing on firsthand yeah i mean i'll leave that open to interpretation it's a more generalized concept but uh yeah i don't think it's good for us yeah i think uh i think a lot i think a lot of different

things about it you know what so what else what else at cma's you do have you spent a lot of time

in nashville or no uh i mean i've been performing here since i was like 16 like zany's was one of the first clubs i ever got to perform at really yeah did you open up for somebody oh a bunch of people i mean uh tommy davidson to paulie shore to jim brewer bill bellamy i've opened for oh ralphie obviously when i was like still living in ohio he used to let me come down here and do his shows right before christmas at zany's and he would like i mean he would pay me like five six hundred dollars which i'm in high school so that's like a million dollars to me so that i could like i could go back home and like buy my family christmas presents with that money oh dude he's like the nicest guy so i mean i've been coming here for a while i love it here yeah comedy scene

too yeah it's good people man it's some of the best people i couldn't agree more what i can't believe you got to come down here and work with ralphie that was so wild what was that like did you see him having troubles back then i mean that was a long time ago i mean he was fat the whole

time right i never knew him to not be gigantic um so i mean there was no i mean i was also 16 17 so again i'm not really like looking for problems wow yeah that's at the that's you that's the Brea Improv. Yeah, I think I'm 17 in this. Maybe 18. Wow. I think I maybe just turned 18 in that. But look at that watch. Wow. Fake. Couldn't be more fake.

I think it's supposed to be, what's it made out of like a-

It looks like a goddamn Ben 10 watch, dude.

It looks like it's made out of ivory. Is it real ivory? No, it's not real ivory, man. It's pure plastic. Is it real tusk?

Not at all, man. Oh, dude, look at Ralphie's smile, bro. Yeah, man. I miss him a lot. He was such a good guy. He started when he was super young, too. I think he started when he was 14. Yeah.

He was full of black. He said he was so big because a lot of his inside had a lot of blacks. A lot of blacks in him? Black people inside of him. I mean, he could fit a couple of black people inside of him. He said there was like a couple of black guys in the front seat and the back seat of him. Because, you know, sometimes you give one brother a ride, a couple of brothers show. Of course. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who's that? You know?

Yeah.

somebody hopping on the pegs you know yeah dude that was the craziest thing bro i used to bike through the neighborhood and uh on my way to school i go through the black area and my buddy jonathan would get on the um on the back and then like sometimes a couple of his buddies would get on the front dude and so i was just this little just like white little engine that could dude you know just like calves just pumping i think i can i think i can i'm just sitting there yeah and they used to call me the n-word bus that's what they call me when they saw me pulling up they're like oh here come your bus and they'd all jump on dude and i'd have to get like five guys to get the you know help them get their education or whatever and i was like i can do it get their education like you're a public service bro if i didn't get them there it was like 11 more blocks to school if i didn't get them there they wasn't going they stopped at block eight oh bro yeah yeah one or two dudes got off bro we never saw them again that's so fucking funny too so that was wild bro but yeah ralphie was like ralphie was one of a kind bro i can't name somebody else that's

like ralphie can you really no man i really wish i could see how he would have navigated like comedy today because it's changed so much in just the 15 years that i've been doing it and watching him i mean not give a fuck isn't the most articulate way to say that but like he was just so unapologetically himself and people fuck with it dude i didn't i i had never met anybody who

didn't like him oh dude i remember i broke down when he passed out it like really hit me hard

oh same man that was arguably my first like mentor in comedy he um i was i wasn't even i think i'd maybe just turned 16 he was coming to youngstown ohio he was playing a theater up there i'm sorry it was cleveland he was he was doing a hilarities up there and this is like when twitter like you could you could reach anybody on twitter everybody was so accessible so i like tweeted at him i was like hey i'm this kid in ohio and i'm doing comedy now can i open for you at hilarity and he was like yeah you know what fuck it come on down but my mom ruined it she well because she had no experience in this whatsoever i mean to her this is just a grown man inviting her son up to cleveland right this is like pedophilia or whatever yeah she had no idea i mean i had been doing comedy or humorous Pedophilia. Humor.

maybe five months i've been doing stand-up so i didn't know anything either so she's asking like where do i park do we need to buy tickets what time do we need to be there where do we need to go do i need to talk to anybody i ended up asking him so many questions on behalf of my mom he was like hey man i actually it's actually not going to work out so he can't he canceled on me and then maybe six months later he was doing youngstown and he let me come up and do that that was like my first theater show paid me a hundred dollars for it it was nice what did you did you hold that against your mom oh i'm like i was devastated because to me i was like this is gonna be my big break you know what i mean i'm gonna be this famous comedian after doing one guest spot in

cleveland oh but that's all it takes dude you get three minutes of a video somebody bringing you up you get to bring ralphie up anything when you're that age of course bananas i know it would have

been awesome the theater show was very cool i ended up i actually ended up meeting um tony hinchcliffe's mom at that show in youngstown yeah she was just like i have a son who just moved to LA is doing comedy out there opening for like Jeff Ross. I didn't think anything of it. I didn't know anybody moved to LA and he was like, you fucking know my mom. And why did she, why was she at that show? She was just a Ralphie fan. No. Yeah. It was totally, totally random. I was just taking pictures of people after the show and she was like, yeah, my, my son lives out there. He said his mom still has like the piece of paper that I signed for her. She kept it even after

all those years. Oh, that's pretty cool. So crazy. Yeah. I forget he's from Youngstown, huh?

dude was it a pretty urban show no dude youngstown was so white it was so white dude but i mean this was also when he was doing ralphie was doing this bit about the n-word and i think it i think it made it into one of his specials where he was basically trying to make a point that if you desensitize the word and make it mean something different so he was like i think we should name the most delicious flavored cookie the n-word that way you're saying like i love that oh i see that you could you could say it more optimistically um but this was like a mostly white room with a few black people but it didn't matter like the joke was just great across the board like he was for everybody his crowds were so eclectic oh and i love coming up with that i never wanted to like pigeonhole and play to like a specific audience i'm like if he can appeal to everybody like that's

the main goal yeah dude well yeah just to be your i think to try and try and be as close to your truth is what it is and i think ralphie was that guy he was just like he loved like being accepted by black folks and white folks he loved bringing them together with humor yeah uh and he loved just like being able to kind of be welcomed in that space because to be in that space also and navigate comedy it's important because you have like a you don't have a responsibility or something but you can bring people together if two people can laugh at the same joke that's a big thing I couldn't agree more I think sense of humor Is so important dude Dude that's so cool That you got to have Some of those moments with him

Yeah when I first Moved to LA He used to pick me up We'd go to like a diner He'd make me order like Three entrees And I was like Is this fucking for you And he was like No whatever you don't eat You can take home with me Now you have like Groceries for your week Yeah I have leftovers for it The nicest guy man

Wow I know I know Dang that's big bro That's a big heart He was mostly heart Heart and brothers inside of him Yeah mostly heart and brothers

he was one of those people that like I wish I could have got to share what I get to go through now with him because I knew him from like so so young and he was somebody that I looked up to yeah just to get his perspective on see what advice he would have had you know

yeah dude that was a huge loss what did he pass away from exactly did he have pneumonia pretty bad I think it was COVID I think he had early COVID I just want to get clear on that It was not COVID. I'm pretty sure it was a heart attack.

Yeah, cardiac arrest.

Ralphie made out of cardiac arrest caused by hypertensive cardiovascular disease. The Clark County, Nevada coroner officially ruled his death as natural. I mean. He was battling pneumonia at the time. That happens a lot. Ralphie had a heart attack. His lung collapsed. I mean, that lung was exhausted. i mean god damn bro i think i can i think i can i think i can't dude we gotta get these brothers to school dude that was his long dude oh damn bro he would love that joke though he would love oh he would love it bro dude honestly i can i'm not even joking i can feel him smiling right now that's one thing bro I believe that there is this there's this like between space and time like if we say like Ralphie we love you and we miss you and thank you for all the times you made us laugh I believe I think he can feel that somewhere I think so so I think that there's like a like I think there's a way that you like that you can transfer like a feeling or like a hope, you know, through space and time.

you know I don't know no you can call it prayer you can call it whatever whichever angle you want to come from but I think it does affect things yeah and here's the thing even if it doesn't isn't it so much better to just believe it anyways 100 isn't life just better to believe it yeah I mean I feel the same way about fucking Bigfoot just cooler to believe he's out there yeah dude is he probably not but it's so much more fun to think maybe he is dude what about

the guy that just was on Joe Rogan that saw an eight for him and is it the I think he was a Navy SEAL can you bring him up they saw an eight foot big they said eight foot that's pretty big well how tall is Victor Wimben Yana he's gotta be close but his little ass he would be a he would be kind of a punk in the Bigfoot community he's a runt I mean he would be I mean they would respect him for sure he more of a slender man oh you fuck with slender man I mean I don't fuck with him

dude that's my that's my lane dog I love all spooky shit

oh yeah that's right you bought all this you bought the spooky you you invested in Ed and Lorraine's yeah their home and museum wow yeah dude that's right dude that's where you live you live in uh rhode island in rhode island yeah yeah but

their house is in connecticut so it's just down the street hour and a half drive something like that it's fucking awesome man how did that come to pass man i know some of this might be old news no no no it's not a lot of people know that i'm even into this stuff um my friend and my business partner elton castell uh he and i started doing like he had been doing ghost hunting on youtube for oh god probably close to like eight years now and then i kind of came aboard about five years ago something like that we've been like around the world to some of the most haunted places it's so fucking you have yeah yeah we had sam and colby on here talking about that before those guys are

awesome yeah those guys are fucking sick dude one time i went to dinner with rogan i go meet him sam and colby are are they like with joe shut up blew my mind yeah man they're good dudes i was like what the fuck are y'all doing here dude it's a smaller world than you think oh they're like the like spooky in sync kind of it's like it's kind of what they seem like a little bit when you meet them you know yeah man they're handsome for no reason yeah it's like oh you're handsome and you're ghost hunters they're another they're a couple justin tuckers dude that's who they are you can't even see bangs in the dark there's no reason to even have good hair like that i it's just dude bangs those that's an onomatopoeia bang but nothing i'm talking about hair man oh take me through a little bit more of that so you move so you so first you why did you move to

it on you said you wanted some land yeah i wanted land mainly i wanted i wanted some land i wanted a city that is convenient for travel and so like pvd is like my burbank airport and then boston's like my lax if i have to have to have to go direct okay so that's providence in boston airport yeah and then i wanted some kind of a comedy scene and providence has the comedy connection there which is a fucking great a club um they've got a couple of good theaters there that i'll do like our holiday toy drives at and stuff around the winter time and then they have a there's a ton of open mics there's a bunch of don't tells out there so like when i'm home and i want to work stuff out like there's no shortage of stage time at all wow so i mean i kind of just checked all the boxes it's awesome dude it's so peaceful it's so beautiful like it's quaint it's got it's got everything i need like i said the airport's nearby comedy's nearby target's eight minutes away how far is it from the airport to your house 17 minutes that's good yeah it's not bad at all dude and i mean we're in the cities all the time for work right like we're always talking i'm always in new york i'm always in la or miami chicago or whatever like when i'm not there I just want peace like that's what I actually have what made you pick that I mean

Rhode Island's just an interesting place no absolutely you know it's kind of like it's kind of romantic Rhode Island to me has like this like beachy kind of romantic scene but also like this thuggish sort of scene well I didn't know how like mob deep it was dude I had no I had no idea Rhode

Island was like run by the mob for a while which is pretty fucking awesome I was doing shows at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut and this is around the time I was like just starting to look for like maybe i'll get a house someday my life's starting to change and i was on zillow and i found a house like an hour away and i was like shit i'll just go check it out before the show's tomorrow and i went check it out just fell in love with it no yeah so i mean totally random didn't know anybody there a couple of my friends have moved out there ever since they live with me so it's it's kind of

a nice little compound oh you got friends living with you yeah absolutely have you had to kick anybody i don't think what's that been like you guys splitting wiener pills out there what are you guys doing out there bro it's like you live there that's good to hit both on the head is uh

pretty impressive yeah yes and yes man we're rationing it up there brother oh yeah dude now

i will say this if the wiener pill factory ever closes dude there is gonna be the market is gonna be hot for those bro oh my god it's the new quaaludes you think they get better with age i

didn't even think about that i'm gonna sit on a couple put some of my safe yeah in a little time

capsule give one of your grandson one day huh hey eat this now your diaper won't fit

that's ridiculous dude i kind of love living with the homies it's it's nice i mean the house is big enough to like my boy kyle lives upstairs i live downstairs like those days i don't even see him yeah we'll meet we'll meet together in the kitchen for like an uncrustable around 4 p.m that's about it dude it's so peaceful it's just chill when you're there like What? types of things you get involved you actually have enough time to take off when you're there or what's that like for you right now i know you just said i saw you guys were filming and you were

filming in vancouver how was that yeah i was in vancouver for like seven months last year no way oh dude within a week i had to move like i didn't think i was going to get this role at all and then they called and were like hey you you got it need you to move to vancouver and i was like awesome it was friday they're like need you there monday and i was like oh okay i mean things can happen that fast did you have touring dates you had to cancel and everything um i only had to cancel a couple for film dates but luckily they let me keep as many of them as i could

which is important to me yeah for sure matt rife among 10 cast in netflix's ftx series and this ftx it's about crypto it's about the cryptocurrency yeah do you remember like

is that paul rudd no it's not paul which one which one do you think is paul rudd which one of those bottom middle but you think that's paul rudd it does it look like him to Anybody else or just me? That's going to be just you. I wish Paul Rowe was in this. He's fucking great. You thought that was that guy.

I don't know, dude.

I need some help.

I'm still fine. No, don't sing your way out of it, man. I'm sorry, dude. Oh, Solomio.

We can't kick your way out of this, man. Hop your way out I'm just saying, bro Things happen sometimes visually for people I think some of those wiener pills Got my optics off, dude You got some side effects Some lingers Can't see Imagine you took so many wiener pills The side effect is you can't get celebrities right anymore I don't think that's that bad You eat like Beetlejuice You're like, hey, what's up, Shaq?

Dude I met Shaq by the way For the first time I did a thing with Burt For the Netflix festival He really is that fucking big He's gigantic man Also one of the best senses of humor Of like a non-comedian I've fucking ever met Oh really? Dude he's funny Loves a good joke about himself man You know Burt was doing the whole You know the whole Shirt take off thing Backstage for this promo video And Shaq took his shirt off And I was like

He did?

Damn Is he jacked? Yeah man

dude look how ripped yeah man sometimes i like to uh i like to reminisce about summertime summertime baby it was hot and mom would try to make the best out of things though and she said one day she said i'm gonna take y'all to see the world's biggest anthill about 70 miles from us and so we sat there and we weren't really excited but we was curious and sometimes that was enough in the summertime to get you out of the house and mom didn't know but I'd snuck me a little deviled egg in my pocket so I could get had me a little snack I'd snuck a little de down in my pocket with a piece of ice next to it so I could keep it cool in there and we got to that anthill and it was I mean you couldn't even imagine how big it was you need you needed two people to imagine it at the same time, even to have the imagination of it, it took two imaginations. And they had all types of ants in there. They had ants. They had step ants, ants once removed. They had cants. They had ants that just couldn't do it anymore. You know, they just had, they was dealing with impairments or high blood pressure. And we were about 95 minutes into the tour. We'd been, And, you know, it was coming around the east end of that anthill. And I'd been bit probably 20, 30 times by now. And it had a little rest area, a little bathroom area. I said, I'm going to sneak off behind these toilets and have me that deviled egg, baby. Have me a little cut of that DE that I had in my pocket. And I reached in there. Those ants had picked my pocket clean, brother. I don't know how much devil was in that egg, but it wasn't enough to keep those ants away. So we had some times out there, man. And they were challenging and they were exciting and they were adventurous. And that's summertime, you know. Anyway, cheers to Mountain Dew. Tastes like America. Tastes like summer.

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So you were up there in Vancouver. Was it an enjoyable experience? Vancouver's awesome. Vancouver's beautiful. I had a good time. with that being a part of like that pedigree of a project is awesome anthony boyle and julia gardener are the leads of it and they're just such fucking great actors really like if they're not nominated for an award for the for the show i mean it's robbery they're they're so so talented to like get to like learn from people like that day after day for seven months was just an awesome opportunity it was so hard though like the dialogue was just not something i was familiar with like it's all about crypto shit so like every line i'm having to like google what i'm even saying oh really was that intense oh my god so obviously memorizing the lines was a lot more difficult than just like a day-to-day conversation yeah but it was a good challenge i got love i love acting i

want to do more of it for sure yeah yeah i think so but the thing about acting is it takes away from that stand-up it takes away from that stage time it definitely does um it's hard to go because

if you have those long days were you having long days oh yeah i mean you're on set for sometimes a 17-hour day right you can't go do stand-up at the end of that day no but so i mean most of the seven months I would I was filming Monday through Friday and then Saturday morning I'd get on a plane to go do a show Saturday night got it fly to the next place Sunday and then I'd have to take like a red eye after the show Sunday night to be on set at like 6 a.m. Monday morning so there was some weeks where I'm showing up on like no sleep oh but if you want to do all if you want to do it all like that's the price to pay for it but also the stand-up like I've been doing it for I mean literally half my life and I'm so like blessed to be in the position that I'm in right now like it's fucking insane the opportunities i've got to have over the last couple years that there starts to become more of a question of like what what now with stand up like i've i've sold out madison square garden i've done the hollywood bowl it's like what what is supposed to be after that like for me that that's when like the fun of just like the the creative behind it is what kind of has to propel you like i still have like these funny thoughts these stories that i want to tell yeah you have to just enjoy doing stand-up like you find something to chase but it's not always a venue sometimes it's just expression yeah dude i think it's interesting you say that

like i've been at a spot right now where like like we had like my friend and i made a movie that we did that we made ourselves right that came out and we did the whole process and we just taped a comedy special we did like there's been some things that have just come to an end right and touring um and now and that's all finished right now like for like the first time in 20 years i don't have a tour date on the books and i don't ever have to have one if i don't want to how does that make you feel it's it's it's a lot of things it's been like i've had a little bit of depression i didn't know what it was from i think some of it was from i don't there's not a ton to do like there's podcasting yeah but i haven't really felt like i don't know i haven't felt a lot of motivation and I don't know if some of it's because like um there's just not a ton to do like I mean do you feel fulfilled in that field sometimes I feel like well what do I like yeah I think part of it's like yeah well what do you what do I want to do now what about did I just start stand up like 20 years ago when I've just been doing it and like and then now what do I want to you know I want to keep doing it I do know that I want to keep doing it I don't know if I want to get on stage like right now but there's part of me that's like yeah well what else do you want to do what else do you you know i think i kind of wish that there was like a like a family aspect in my life right now like wife and children but that's not there so it's like that's okay it's just like you know you gotta wait till that comes along but i do think there's some like um like having patience with like not the craziest days and that's okay and what's going to be next and i don't know right i think having patience with i don't know is kind of tough for me

No, it's very hard. I mean, it's fear of the unknown, especially when you're used to working for 20 years. You're waking up day after day trying to create opportunity for yourself, whether it's a tour or whether it's filming something or producing something, developing something. I can't take a vacation. If I take three days off – I haven't performed stand-up in two weeks. I feel like I've forgotten everything. I've been going crazy. I'm only home for like two to three days at a time. When I'm there, after the second day, I'm like, fuck, I feel like I need to be doing something. when i i don't like it's okay to like take a break and just be healthy and you know be where

your feet are at for a little bit yeah i think that's that's that that's the tough part for me right now a little bit and then i think some of it's asking god like well what is you know like does god want me to be doing what you know we're just like i think you know i i go to that place of prayer for like yeah where you know help me figure out what i what do i want to do because i'm not feeling like a ton of like um i just don't know that's a thing and so it's just kind of interesting you know i think it's i think that's totally fine man yeah it's just hard to

be like it's incredibly hard man when you've been chasing something for so long and you feel like you've accomplished isn't the right word but like you at least got to a place of comfortability to where you don't need to be killing yourself every single day yeah it's hard man i'm going from 100 to zero or two you know

Thank you.

yeah it's hard to coast yeah it's hard and you start to i mean all the little things come in like well if am i doing enough or i'm gonna fall off or these things are i have fallen on like all and some of that's all just bull it's all it's all bullshit it's all just whatever yeah but all those little things kind of come in and you start you put each one on the scale of you and be like what weight does this really have and sometimes it jumps on the scale itself some of these fears or things and you don't even know it and you're under the weight of it before you realized oh i didn't even put this there this just kind of showed up much of it is ego you know what i mean how much can i put that aside and how much is actually important to me that's the biggest thing is yeah no it's so hard how much of this is ego too and what yeah what's important what do i need and then what is my voice best how can my voice best even be used moving forward for myself and for like anything you know all that kind of stuff does that make sense to you that makes perfect

sense i i can't thank you enough for even understanding what that feels like like most people just don't get that because there is a fear of slowing down for sure like i mean we and i have slowed down a ton and we were doing 40 to 50 shows a month and between like 2024 to the beginning of 2025 i mean six to seven shows a six to seven nights a week two shows a night dude your schedule

was scary dude i remember we spoke one time you're having a sleep you're having sleeping disorder

yeah man you called about that i really appreciate that by the way you're having a sleeping disorder i have horrible insomnia like i i literally cannot fall asleep without like the assistance

of something yeah what so what how'd you even a i mean i guess it's easy to figure out but did you notice what was keeping you up were you drinking coffee late in the day no no i don't do

any caffeine at all like never never have can't cannot do it my brain just like you know when you're about to fall asleep and then there's just like the the light switch just goes off your brain's just off now you are like unconscious yeah i can't fucking flip the switch i can't do I can get so close My brain just cannot do it I'm not even like Thinking about things I'm not up Anxious about anything I'm not worried about anything There's not anything In particular in my life That I'm worried about Just can't do it And I've been to sleep doctors I've got therapists Were you?

What's that? Did you go to sleep doctors?

Yeah Yeah And they all I mean the problem is They all just want to They want to just prescribe you medication But I'm like That makes me feel even crazier That makes To make me feel like I have to have help To do the most basic Human thing Feels fucking crazy So I mean I do take something that does help me get to sleep Doesn't keep me asleep And I still don't sleep well But they Most of my doctors think it's probably just like an underlying anxiety But I'm like I don't want to take anxiety medication I don't want to

Yeah and are you feeling laying there all horny or whatever Or are you just laying there like your brain running Way past that dude

My dick is like fucking tapped out Oh you're done Oh I'm empty bro Falling asleep with fucking lego hands dog Oh damn Yeah man What are you saying?

You never jerk off to try to fall asleep? Oh, yes, dude. Yeah. What are you talking about? Probably less than 30 hours ago I did it. We shook hands as soon as I came in here, man.

Now, I have showered once since then. I mean, you ever accidentally get a wake-up nut, though, when you're trying to fall asleep?

Where?

Because that boosts the energy on accident. Like, what do you mean? Like, if you jerk off in the beginning of the day. Tell me about that. What is that wake-up nut? A wake-up nut is kind of like. Tell me about that. I imagine it's like a shot of B12. It's like getting into a cold plunge. There's just something that kind of shocks your system. You're like, okay, I'm ready to tackle the day. So you wake up and do a nut? Sometimes. It just depends on the day. You know what I mean? It depends on the weather. Wow, really? Yeah, man. If it's sunny out, I'm not going to jerk off in the gloom.

Oh, yeah, dude. I don't know. I'm more like emo. I think I'm that dude. I'm that Tim Burton nut monkey, dude. I think I'm more like, you know, it's cloudy out. We got a 40% chance of nut, bro. See, that feels depressing to me. Like my dick's not going to give it its all. Well, dude, my dick gave up. I don't think my dick ever even wanted to be a part, me and them in a partnership. But yeah, I agree. But on a sunny day, I'm jerking off. The Lord has blessed me with this beautiful sun. And I'm going to be like, oh, let me show you what I can do. Just add a little something to it. You know what I mean?

No, I want to be walking on sunshine, dog.

Yeah, I guess you're right, bro.

I want to add, I'm trying to ride that high. Yeah, you're right, bro. There's different avenues to it for sure. If you jerk off after, like, I don't know, 7.30 p.m., that's more of a downer, I feel like. That's supposed to relax you. That's to close it down. Yeah, I think so.

What did they tell you? What did they tell you? What was, like, did you have any—did you try a CPAP machine?

Did they do all that kind of stuff, too? Yeah, it's not a problem like that, dude. Honestly, they can't figure out what the problem is, which drives me fucking crazy. I'm like, what am I, an anomaly? I'm, like, the one person in the world who has whatever problem I have with my brain doesn't seem possible.

Right, like you're like a wake-squatch or something. A what? A wake-squatch. You're like Bigfoot, but it's like for somebody that won't sleep or whatever. Like if you've seen him, he doesn't sleep or whatever. I think I have whatever Michael Jackson had. Maybe I have Vitilago or something. Maybe that's keeping me up. Does that keep you up? Maybe. Dude, I just saw this thing the other day about when Michael Jackson went to Brazil. Can you bring that up? Dude, he did a lot of things that he challenged the status quo. He wanted to go to Brazil to the favelas to shoot. Which video was it? They don't care about us right here. A song by the American singer Michael Jackson, initial release. Man, he was a beautiful Asian woman. Yeah, dude. I saw him one time when I was on stage we used to do the there was a comedy club in Westwood at I can't even remember it now it was like Steve Byrne was there all the time Adam Hunter like a lot of like great like comics in the LA scene Dane would come in sometimes but out the window I was on stage one time and out the window next door there was an Oz costume shop A-H-H-H-S like ah and Onomatopoeia. Yeah Onomatopoeia dude and he was and he pulled up in a with some security guards and got out and went in there it was like after hours they let him go into the costume

shop. No way. I mean you would open up the store for Michael Jackson. I'm

on stage and I see and I know he lived not far away and it was just the craziest thing I'm like oh that's Michael Jackson and I'm on stage saying because I can see out this window on stage and the audience can't see it's from the second story. Oh they think you're making it up. Yeah they're like you're a f***git some guy yelled and I'm like whoa Just because I saw Michael Jackson? Yeah, yeah, dude.

He's really there.

He's not my fucking sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, dude, yeah. So people will just call you just that for anything now. Oh, I know. What were we talking about? Sleep, and then... Oh, yeah. What were some of the modalities that they... Because I'm assuming you went pretty deep down this hole trying to figure this out.

Oh, yeah, dude. Because you had to take a break, right? At some point. Right? Yeah, man. I had to cancel shows in... You had how many doctors for it? I had like six doctors at some point, all doing different things in different categories or whatever. Like what were they, were they taking your blood? Like what were they doing? Yeah, I mean, blood tests, they check, they check all that kind of stuff. I was doing scans on my brain or whatever, trying to measure like what parts of it don't do and don't turn off, that kind of thing. Apparently I'm normal, but I just cannot sleep, dude. It's awful. But yeah, I did have to take a couple weeks off because I like passed out on the way to a show. And people were fucking pissed, dude. I mean it was like an hour before the show was supposed to start but like I hadn't slept for like five days what was going on like were you manic oh incredibly incredibly dude I mean I'm up like crying between the hours of like 4 a.m. and 9 a.m. just because I'm like I just want to go to sleep I'm exhausted and I cannot I cannot shut my brain I'm like journaling to like my fucking dead grandfather I'm like hey man send some sleep dog something jerking off back to journaling jerking off back to doing everything i can and i was heading to the show and i like pat i like nearly like fainted and like fell into the bushes and i was like i i cannot do this show like i'm i will not make it like i might even be i wouldn't be able to sit down on the stool so we had to cancel the show i'm i'm laying in the hospital i'm getting like death threats and people like in bars in indiana being like we hope matt wright fucking dies and i'm like i'm going to dude yeah people did not care but that's that's like morgan wall and just had a they had a weather

issue for his show. Oh, I saw that. But it's like, he's not a meteorologist. It's not up to him. Yeah, he's doing the best that he can, and people just, they won't cut him a break.

Well, imagine, it was like Strong Winds or something like that, that I think they were... Well, he has a big set, and it's like, you know, once, if something falls, it's... Bro, a tornado touches down in the middle of a concert, and he didn't cancel it? Yeah. He's done, dude. People die at the concert? Yeah.

It's over. He can't be on stage, you know? Guess I'm the problem. And like, people are getting hit by lightning. Of course. You got twisters touching down? Yeah, of course. That's crazy. There's a twister just throwing people up on stage. Yeah, man. It's like people are passing by you in the air. You can't please everybody, man. Sand in my back. People are just flying. People are wishing they had sand in their boots because they would be anchored down better. Yeah, man. It's like cut the guy some damn slack, man. He just wants to do his best.

He's fucking awesome. You know, I had Kyle dress up as him for the AMAs. Did you really? Yeah, because they had me presenting. Kyle's here. He's sitting here with us, one of the best photographers. Yeah, he does all my videography. He does a great job.

Yeah, I couldn't hire him because you had him. Well, sorry. Well, if something happens to you. You could outbid me.

You're up on the block, boy.

Yeah, now look, I'm not saying I get one. I make sure I get a friend with him. I'm one or two. they say you can't have them be alone they're kind of like goats

we'll see about it Kyle they had me presenting for it and they had me presenting in a country category so I just I wanted to do some kind of bit for it and the bit was to basically get everybody to be like oh my god Morgan Wallen is here and I where was that at? this was the amas in vegas so he shaved his beard completely down he had just the mustache and he had this big old mullet wig with a little hat down he looked just enough like him the bit was supposed to be that like the camera goes to him it's so obviously not morgan wallen and that was gonna be the bit but he looked so much like him the people were like okay cool morgan wallen's here like it completely fucking failed because he looked so much like him yeah is that online yeah yeah yeah i think uh i think i posted it on my instagram i'm sure and all the country pages and stuff picked it up and everything they're like oh matt rey takes a dig at morgan wall i'm like that's the complete opposite i'm saying he's definitely too fucking good to be here he is too good to be here he's selling out the moon dog yeah dude that's hilarious he gets snubbed on so many of these awards i don't get it i don't think he cares about it well i mean what does it what does it matter if you know you know you're the entertainer of the year who the fuck else is doing multiple stadium shows i agree it's like wow what this is just for you you know 100 percent

it's just talking about ego earlier right right it's just for the ego of these companies a lot of these things you know they want to keep this idea that some select people get to decide who the the entertainer of the year is it's like let the numbers decide oh 100 you know i couldn't agree more it's like with the they're trying to give a podcast in awards or something earlier i think this was this year or last year and like do you want to be in the award you have to pay to be you know you're you got pay to be in consideration they got you gave you a nomination but then you have to pay to be uh to see if you if you you'll be like one of the top five or whatever that's so weird and it was like first of all pay us to nominate you it was that was part of the edge of it right you have to pay to continue to be nominated it's like um and i can't remember who it was but it was like uh but that was part of it and then they gave the award to like I think it was Amy Poehler's podcast which is great right she's one of the most talented entertainers that there are but if you're not giving that award to Joe Rogan then what are you even doing

he wasn't even nominated for it because he didn't self bid himself that's crazy

but it's like if you're not giving it to him then we're playing some game of yours it's not a real thing

so you're playing algorithm in an award show

yeah so it's like I think a lot of people see through all this shit like I don't like I want give me something that's real that's fine but I don't want something that's some made I don't want to live in some made up type of thing where you decide who gets who gets to be this thing

and that's why I think touring is so fucking awesome because it's totally in the hands of like your fans right it is literally a physical it's a it's a physical um that's what I'm looking for fuck it's um it's proving that you have a connection with the people right like those people are paying to come see you that's harder money that they saved up they got a babysitter this is their anniversary whatever it is those people are coming to see that like that success speaks for itself if you can move people to come see you in real life what does it matter what eight people voted in the middle of hollywood or nashville or whatever it is yeah i agree dude um like that's the true success

i think just let it be what it is you know why you know i don't know i think i also have like i get some angst towards some of that hollywood stuff so i think i get it i have a little bit of a chip in my shoulder about some of it i don't even know why all the time um let's show this clip though right here and yeah dude morgan could go morgan could literally go back in time before before people even knew him and he people like i heard he's good you know he could go to like 40 years ago and people will somehow be like yeah i heard he's i heard that guy's good yeah man bro look at this right here dude is this ai you get accused to be an ai a lot all the time all the time i'm so ai bro you are ai yeah i'm in rhode island right now what the heck i never even realized it dude dude you're like my fucking hot lesbian aunt that's ai dude you have a hot lesbian ant yeah i'll turn her out dog let's fucking go i don't know you guys look too similar though let me uh let me show this award show part i think we can all agree

that the current state of country music some pretty good hands right i mean just tonight alone we've seen riley green keith urban and actually making his very first ama appearance Morgan Wallen is here.

That's crazy, dude.

Morgan Fallen, dog. He's my little off-brand. That's crazy. Yeah, man. That's hilarious, bro. Yeah, we realized he looked like this when he accidentally shaved his beard in Europe one time. We were fucking tearing him apart. I called him Fail Earnhardt. You did? Yeah.

You accidentally shaved yours, Kyle? Yeah.

That's hilarious.

He nicked a little piece of it and then shaved the whole thing off.

I had to fire him for like three weeks. I can't be around you right now You got a vulnerable neck That's

Oh yeah dude That's crazy bro Dude that's funny bro Yeah it was a decent bit But then almost everybody When I got home We were like Oh no we actually thought It was Morgan Wallen I was like Well that wasn't supposed to be The bit literally at all It's pretty I mean he's wearing my tour He's wearing my tour Cut off jean jacket A red clay straze hat

People can't see that good dude I'll say this If they Yeah You had a couple Too many wiener pills Your vision gets bad A lot of people thought he was Paul Rudd.

A lot of people were saying it.

All right. Voila! Voila! Am I able to get one more water? Yeah, let's get another water. Can we get one?

Oh, thank you so much.

Thanks, brother.

Hey, we got that Michael Jackson thing here. I think I found it.

Okay. Oh, yeah, this looks like it. Let me see. In 1996, Michael Jackson shot a music video in Rio de Janeiro favelas. The world didn't know that this historic shoot was only possible thanks to the approval of a drug trafficker.

That's awesome.

Yeah, the government said it was too unsafe for him to come, but he wanted to come and be around the people. Let me see. Rio de Janeiro, 1996. Spike Lee's camera pans across the hills of Dona Marta, a favela clinging to the city's slopes. Michael Jackson has come to shoot his video, but the setting of Far Cry from Hollywood Studios is no ordinary set. The governor of Rio is against it. the police refused to set foot in dona marta and yet the cameras rolled that had to be pretty brave bro yeah man i mean to be that loved did it say that they looked out for him i would imagine so so when michael jackson arrives in rio to shoot in a favela it's not the mayor or the governor who has the final say it's marchino vp the man hunted by police is also the one who ensures the king of pop safety so uh he was the head of one of the most powerful criminal factions in the city charismatic and ruthless marcino had established himself in a world where hierarchy is carved out carved in fear and cemented by weapons what set him apart from other hill bosses was a strange intellectual depth almost unsettling for a man at war with the established order

it's just pretty wild that he went and shot that there feels like he could have did it in burbank

yeah it does but I think he why did we even start talking about this do you remember

not a clue oh I just mentioned that I was wondering what my sleep problems were if I had the same thing that Michael Jackson has you said hold on a second and then we went on a 15 minute loop

go back a little bit the tense shoot I just didn't want to see that part the governor of Rio is staunchly opposed Brazil is still dreaming of hosting the 2004 Olympics there's no way they'll let the world see what's hidden Behind the postcard beaches To show the poverty The drugs The bullet ridden walls It would be bad PR Jesus He went and shot it there anyway That's so gangster He did stuff like that dude

The deal is clear No money Changes hands No one to the table bribes Just an agreement Wow That's awesome

Yeah Just kind of wow Look at that dude Just to show up there Be that close To people just who like Who would never have access to you you know what I mean right would never have access to you and also there's probably you know you get in some dangerous neighborhoods it's dangerous yeah but I mean it sounds like the people he's

getting approval from are like nobody's gonna fuck with you we would be the people to fuck with you right nobody's gonna fuck with that's the thing that's awesome that's awesome bro

that that's what I'm talking about that's the people you like if you're for the if you're with the people you're with the people you know it doesn't matter what these other like little you know fancy people say about this or that i don't care you know say this guy is the the number one award winner this guy's this or whatever you know the truth is the truth 100 you know replacement for real life yeah anyway sorry i feel kind of i don't know why i feel kind of animated about that i like it um it's passion take me on a little bit more of so so you bought this ed and lorraine's house take me on the house that you bought and and what you guys have done with it i know there was like articles going around that um you guys were doing like you guys had turned it into a haunted airbnb where people could go and stay it is essentially that

yeah we um we we were approached by um by edna rain warren's family um that they were going to sell the house and we were the first people that they wanted to offer it to and obviously we were fucking psyched about it i mean we have so much respect and love for their family and what they mean to the paranormal community um so i mean to get to be a part of arguably the most prominent piece of paranormal history on earth being the annabelle doll in the warren's house is fucking awesome dude um and we got the house like as is like we have all their old clothes all their old tape recordings i mean there's like there's hundreds and hundreds of old recordings and letters from cases that never got turned into movies and TV shows and stuff like that and it's so cool man I mean the house itself museum aside is fucking terrifyingly haunted but there's like such a warmth to it like regardless of what they did and who they were and what they were around all the time like it still feels like such a cozy family home so we've opened that up to the public to be able to be stayed in as an Airbnb and it's attached to the museum which holds, oh god, I think it's something like 700 artifacts or something like that in the museum as well as the

Annabelle doll. And take me through like just a brief synopsis of the family and the Annabelle doll for people that don't know. I mean

Ed and Lorraine were the most famous ghost hunters pretty much in the history of it. I mean they helped I mean I guess documented I'm going to say a few hundred families. And they were spousal? They were married? Yeah, absolutely. She was a psychic medium and Ed was an author and they put out a lot of good books and they helped a lot of fucking people and they're they are the family behind like the largest scary movie franchises in the world between Annabelle, Dahl, The Conjury movies, Amityville Horror, all that

good stuff. And they, how they help a lot of people, you said they helped a lot of people

Well I mean a lot of people dealt with like possessions and haunted homes and a lot of haunted objects and everything and they would go to help these families with either casting out the spirits via exorcisms Sometimes it was taking an item like the Annabelle doll off of the family's hands and putting it in a more secure place, stuff like that. So you have the Annabelle doll now? Yeah. It's pretty crazy. For real. It's a pretty white thing to own.

Yeah, that is, huh?

Yeah, I mean, do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah, I believe in ghosts, but I get scared about it because it's like, you know, if you go summon ghosts, if you summon like, if you look at it as like the devil, I think there's different ways to look at it. If you look at it as like a spiritual thing, like maybe something that's in between here and there. But if you look at it as like satanic and you're trying to summon Satan, then that stuff is a little scary to me. Oh, yeah. I don't fuck with that stuff at all.

Regardless of like there being a demon literally attached to that doll, like I don't fuck with it. I'm not hanging out with the doll. That was the crazy thing. People, I mean, that's a very passionate community and it's one that I respect and I'm happy to be a part of. But people thought I was like, because I'm a comedian, that I was going to like disrespect this doll. They thought I was gonna turn this house into a fucking frat house And Annabelle was just gonna be crowd surfing like a stretched out blow up doll

Oh yeah I could see that dude People always wanna like think about stuff like that Did you do anything cool with Annabelle Like were you guys able to even like have her Like bring her out to have like a tea or something No god no we would never let her out of that box

Ever We've only had to move the box a couple of times And even I don't fucking touch that Really? I let Elton and we have a couple of priests that help with that Really? Oh yeah I'm terrified of it Wow Yeah I'm never there by the way like i'm not at that people thought i was living at the house with annabelle i'm fucking never there you're not no i check on annabelle like i look for racism on twitter i'm like good it's still there yeah if it's gonna exist it might as well be like contained you know where to find it yeah wow bro it's pretty it's pretty awesome man um it's so fascinating

to me do you feel like do you want to create more stuff around like horror genre like is that something you start to feel like because you said you're kind of at this space where it's like you're kind of thinking well yeah what else is possible and what else what i like to do and what

direction yeah absolutely i mean on the entertainment side of things like i would love to develop some kind of like a horror project whether it be a tv show or a film or something like that but i mean we're also even uh expanding in that space like we're we're moving um the museum expanding it to a location in salem um salem massachusetts this i think it's gonna be this september or august that it's going to open up um so i mean there's a couple other uh properties that we could potentially be buying as well so i mean i i'm so fascinated by it like it is so new to me that i think it's very exciting it's cool just to learn learn about it and this this creates a lot of opportunity for people to educate themselves on that world people are fascinated by it but they don't know a lot about it so this is kind of like firsthand experience have you had like a like a supernatural experience of your own oh yeah dude of all the investigations and stuff we've done i've seen and heard so many things like i couldn't possibly explain i mean i've heard my name be said like i've i've i like evps which is like the voice recordings the most like to me that's the most fascinating because i mean it's it's audible it feel it sounds tangible you're getting a direct response to a question you ask like to me that feels so undeniable like i'm in the room i know who else is in here i know this hasn't been tampered with in any kind of way to me that feels so that's close to undeniable as possible was there someone you were trying to talk to or was it um i'm trying to think the most prominent one um we were in um i think this was mansfield reformatory in ohio i believe shout out mansfield Shout out Mansfield. Actually, they filmed Shawshank Redemption. Nuh-uh. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking, it's a really, really cool space. We were in what used to be the old library. We were asking, like, you know, what, they're like, what, what did this room used to be here? Clear as day.

Library.

No.

Yeah, it's fucking terrifying. We were doing some in Lorraine Warren's house in the tunnel that goes from the house to the museum. Our friend was in there asking, like, you know, do you mean us harm? And you hear, if possible. It's crazy shit like that. but it's still so fascinating to me like i i'm passionate about it because on a spiritual level it it helps kind of reassure me that there is something else you know what i mean like i when my grandpa passed away i was i had like this really big moment of like okay there can't just be this there has to be something out there there's no way i won't ever see this person again so the fact that i can go communicate with like other what i assume are people or spirits of people to me that brings me like a little bit of warmth knowing that like you know maybe i'll maybe i will see that person again and maybe you know maybe everybody gets to see their loved ones again yeah yeah was that did your grandpa pass away recently or no it was i think it's going on three years this october maybe four three years oh man i'm sorry to hear that oh it's all right so young yeah man he was only 67 i know i know did he get pretty sick yeah man he had uh he had cancer but it was like they found out of nowhere his dogs pulled him on his leash and like pulled something in his like abdominal slash like rib cage a little bit and it was hurting him was hurting him for a while and it got worse and worse and he started coughing a lot more and everything and eventually you went to the doctor and they were they did a whole scan of everything and they were like dude you've got stage four cancer like like lungs black yeah so it was um he was he was perfectly healthy like five months before he passed dang i know was that scary like were you guys really close yeah that was definitely um that was definitely like my best friend like that's that was like my father figure growing up and everything it was yeah yeah definitely i spent every weekend of my childhood with him every single weekend yeah i definitely wouldn't have

got into comedy if it wasn't for him dude yeah it almost looks like your daddy's so young yeah

It looked like a Zika baby I had a dome on him

Bro BLM dude

That's what's up He loved comedy He used to take me the open mics when I was 15 And he would pay the $5 a head To bring your show shit He would buy 5 tickets

Would he go perform?

No god no Did he get you into it?

He took you over there because he knew you wanted to do it?

Yeah He thought I was funny we would fucking kill each other laugh every weekend my entire childhood so it was really cool he got to see me he got to see me sell out a comedy club I think it was the Cincinnati Liberty Funny Bone before he passed which I think is the hardest part kind of like what we were talking about with Ralphie earlier if there was one person I wanted to share all of this with it would have been him so I feel like he doesn't get to see this kind of sucks he's out there Steve that's his name what's up Steve

shout out big steve my guy oh dude he fucking loved ralphie too did he oh yeah oh dude that's so cool bro he can hear us i feel him right now steve's milling around bro with his 97 different

haircuts yeah bro that was like the shortest his hair ever was he used to grow it down to like his butt crack dude total total hippie hair man dude a lot of people with named rick have ponytails you notice that mostly ricks and steves i would argue yeah yeah dude yeah a ponytail is a rick and steve it's a power move dog yeah bro yeah i'll still like i'll pray to him before every show and everything just be like hope you hope you enjoy it in case you're watching amen bro that's awesome

dude thank you that's quality stuff i appreciate that um i'm gonna pivot a little bit some of your comedy specials your first few came out on youtube right yeah yeah i put out the first two and then i did a crowd work one on youtube as well and then did you do one on a stream on a streaming platform uh then it was netflix yeah i did natural selection for netflix did you feel any difference because like one is more of it feels like it's a it feels like it's more for the people like from you know just it feels like it's did you feel any difference between like doing some that way and

doing one for netflix for um i mean you do a special for netflix for like self-validation to be like i have i made it to what is supposed to be the pinnacle platform for comedy but i think the difference was the youtube stuff i did entirely like by myself like it was just my friends helping me like i directed the first one then i got eric griffin to to direct the second one and even the crowd work one which was like a totally experimental thing i literally did it with me and uh and my buddy elton actually ran camera

Thank you.

by himself it was me and one person did an entire crowd work special so i mean it was exhausting but it was super super fulfilling to like have a hand in a little bit of every piece of the creative for that so i mean i think it was different in uh in that sense also the um the the reach of viewership i think is different for youtube and netflix because not everybody has netflix not everybody likes netflix and you got to have a subscription to it versus youtube it's so easy to share like I can text you a link. You can watch it right now. And then you could text that link to 10 other people. So I think you actually reach, you have a potential to reach more viewers on YouTube than you might on Netflix. Yeah. So I guess it's again, like, what does it mean to you?

Right. Yeah. It's interesting, dude. Cause yeah, I got, I'll do, I got one that's coming up, but I think about like, yeah, what I'll like to do it on Netflix. Yeah. Okay. And we're just, I'm looking at a cut of it later today, but it's like what I'll like to maybe do one in the future. That would be maybe just for YouTube. Yeah. That'd be more just for like, you know, I do it myself completely, you know? I don't know. I just think about that sometimes and what that's like.

Oh, no, I battle with it all the time. I'm doing my next special. It'll be towards the end of the year. I can't really say when yet, but I don't know what I'm going to do with it just yet. I'm not 100% sure. There's different pros and cons, obviously.

Yeah, and you're at a place right now where you can kind of do what you choose. Yeah, absolutely. Which is pretty nice. Yeah, I just want to figure out what fits best. You got kind of like pinned with like being the crowd. work like your crowd work started to kind of like take clips and make it so that a lot of people are doing crowd work do you feel like that that's kind of a true statement yeah i would say so i

mean i definitely wasn't like the first one to do it like uh like schultz was a big inspiration for me doing that like his crowd works fucking he's amazing at that he's so good at he was doing this thing that even made me want to start doing any of my youtube specials where he was doing like a new minute every single week like he would post a new clip every single that's 52 minutes of material throughout throughout the year it was genius and he was sprinkled crowd working with that as well and um i was just like holy shit i see the importance of content in this in the stand-up market which i don't think anybody had really been paying attention to like you put out specials but that's what once every year maybe once every two years yeah um but we weren't like comedians weren't being in people's faces all day like you weren't prominent on a platform and people kind of couldn't avoid you which i think is you know prominent for the uh for the

algorithm well especially if you don't have if you're not pod if you don't have a regular podcast like with podcasting you do because you just have clips right of course but if not yeah it's hard to find like what is that thing without doing a sketch or like planning this big thing and that's

that's why i like doing the bit of crowd work that i do do in my show because like it's new and refreshing right like it's i'm not doing the same stories and jokes night after night after night that you have to deliver like it's your first time ever saying it like this is something so new and spontaneous that i can post online it's not burning any of my material yeah dude i saw

the one where uh you saw one of your teachers is that was that one of yours you have a teacher that came no i think that was trevor wallace oh that was trevor wallace i think his teacher came sorry dude it's okay it's fine um yeah i'm talking with you man oh i was like yeah we can't just kidding man that's okay dude sorry damn fucking trevor i'm not going anywhere man trevor impersonated you though i think and was it felt like he was like trying to steal your shit no no i'm just joking i'm just fucking joking with trevor dude he would never do that bro he's the nicest guy i love it he's very very nice is there i don't know if there's he is so nice dude um but did it ever feel like like then you had to be the crowd where like you had to do that yeah there's

a little bit of that it's kind of you know i talked to adam ray about this recently too because you know he's gotten so prominent with like his characters that he does with like dr phil and biden and everything i stepped into that and done it's unbelievable genius by the way to find that's it's such a specific lane that nobody else has been doing nobody um i asked him i was like do you find people coming to your show and like just wanting the characters and he was like all the time like sometimes i'll be in the middle of a story and somebody be like do crowd work and i'm like i'm gonna fucking get to it if i feel like it okay it's not that's not all this is but like i'm a goddamn jukebox yeah it's crazy man but i mean i do it because i enjoy it you know yeah

that's like when i was in like like couldn't when i was like doing those wiener pills it's like get an erection and you're like i'm trying man give me a few minutes yeah let me warm them up a little bit yeah dude let me nibble off a freaking chunk of my roommate's wiener pill at an angle so he won't notice it's missing you freak they're only freaking five milligrams tablets do you do you ever when you're touring like do you ever do any crowd work at all i do some of it more often now

and i really like it it's just fun it's just something silly and spontaneous it gets a bad rat for people being like oh you're just doing it because like you don't have the material that's such a hack response to have to it like that's it by what means does that mean that yeah

yeah dude yeah like i was shooting this thing in lexington a few weeks ago and somebody yelled out aids right in the middle of the show and it was just like it's a woman too jesus and usually aids more of a guys thing or whatever. You're just...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So... Then what, are you going to not acknowledge it? I know, dude. I was like, oh, that's how bad things have gotten.

It's like people are just yelling AIDS out. Dude, that's the other hard thing as well is like venue-wise now, the smaller venue I do, the more people yell out because they want to be the person that gets to talk to. They want to be the next clip. I'm like, it doesn't work like that. It's usually the least assuming person you talk to is probably like you're going to get the best shit out of them. It's not like the pick me person in the back.

that's true dude it's always like that

like a comedy club is like so intimate we're all kind of feel like we're hanging out that in like a living room to where it's nobody really wants to be like the dickhead to interrupt like that's kind of perfect and an arena so big that like you I think they assume they you can't hear them so they're not going to waste yelling out but like anywhere in the middle ground like a theater people are like I know he'll fucking hear me yeah we yell some wild shit

yeah dude I think it's like there is this weird thing where you yell because you kind of want to be heard but you do not want to be called on there's some of that energy too for some people oh of course like you want to be a part of it but you don't want to be a part of

oh i love the person i love like the like the wife brought her husband the husband didn't want to sit up front he's like what if what if he talks to me and the wife's like it's not all about you ron you know what i mean and then you end up talking to that guy he's like this is my fucking

worst nightmare the wife's loving it i love that dynamic has it ever backfired like take me on one that backfired was there have there been one that backfired like because you because when you open it up to the crowd that's another thing suddenly 40 people or they want to have a you know they

want to offer a suggestion it's very hard to direct a room full of people who are like okay now it's my turn I mean that mean that does happen quite often I mean usually I'm pretty good at shutting it down and everybody can kind of be cordial but it happens but you also get duds you know what I mean like you fucking you interview people you know what it's like to talk to somebody who you can't hold a conversation with so I mean that happens all the time I'm not going to post that clip obviously so yeah it's not magic every time but when you do get it it's such a fun feeling to have that moment right then right there with people yeah dude one time there was a guy in

his wife he had a wife or girlfriend whoever it was had the craziest like um like tits right you couldn't think of tits okay and they well they were so crazy i couldn't even it was hard to categorize them they were so in some onomatopoeia just yeah just he's just boom uh-huh bang you know just like some real just onomatopoeias okay okay just like some damn fucking just some milk tonsils you know just some like l5s none like you have no cartilage left from holding those up they were just yeah they were you could just feel like one of you could feel um one of her uh vertebrae having trouble god damn yeah you couldn't feel it them hindenburgs yeah she had them damn blimps and front blimps

so anyway dude

but they were craziest looking tits and the guy's like I said oh what do you do he's like stock vending machines and I was like and what do you guys put in him and he's like muscle milk and he says muscle milk but then you see where you think he's getting the milk from his wife's just sitting there all quiet with the craziest tits acting like she doesn't have crazy tits And she was wearing a little bitty hat You ever see somebody who like pins a hat on their hair And acts like it's a real hat It's like a brooch Yeah of course It's a fucking brooch It's like Toy Story hat Like bitch what are we talking about And did you address them Did you address the titties Yeah I said well where are you guys getting the milk from And that was just And dude there was nothing else Through the rest of the night That was like There's just something about that thing that's in the moment where and it was just simple there was nothing i really had to do of course it was just sometimes

it just presents itself bro i was in philly yeah this was in philly and there's a guy sitting front row he's got these like slack pants on and just had the most amount of dick sitting in the front of his pants like a conglomerate yeah man yeah like a like a seven dick pile up right in his own pants melted eight or nine dicks on his dick like it was it was so prominent it stopped me in the middle of a story and i was like you got i took the camera off the cameraman's shoulder zoomed in on the placement it looked like he shit the front of his pants like it was so much dick it honestly ruined my night i was i was upset i was insecure for the next 45 minutes yeah dude oh when somebody shows up with that stepdad cock or whatever stepdad cock is such a real as somebody who had a stepdad it's such a real thing i was so mad i wasn't his

for a few years man I'd have been afraid to come out of that thing that stepdad cock dude you can't that's why he doesn't have any kids bro a kid wouldn't make it out of that thing brother this is it right here biggest dick ever

is this a video of it? it's probably a video yeah and put your fucking dick away put your dick away I know cameraman don't zoom in you don't I can fucking see it dude He's smuggling Unbelievable The cameraman just like wouldn't get the shot of it And I was like hold on Why wouldn't he? Sometimes they're like three inches away from somebody's face And I'm like get out of their face You have a zoom Hold on it's tangled up in his dick Hold on a second hold on Look at this fucking thing You're moving the camera Wow Look at that thing man Big bro got that front yard dog Remember an alien when it's coming out of her fucking stomach Yeah. That's what it looks like. Wow. Yeah. That's a lot, man. Turtleneck dick is just a different confidence. And he's wearing a turtleneck, too? Yeah. No. Yeah, man. He knows what's up.

That's insane. That's Christmas dick. Christmas dick. If you're wearing a turtleneck.

A holiday hog. Tight pants, brother? Yeah, he knew. That's not comfortable. There's no way. Oh, no. That's all tight, brother. I'm so glad my dick isn't that big. Yeah.

I'm so glad about it. Yeah. Same, same. But yeah, man, you get some weird stuff like that. What about, are you married? You're not married. Are you? No. No. Single. Okay. And do you start thinking about getting married or anything like that? Or do you even think about that kind of stuff? Or like, does your mom bug you about that? What's your mom doing in your life these days? Because she was giving you a hard time about working for Ralphie. What is, does she still have that managerial energy? Or now she kind of trusts where you're at?

no she's she's so happy with where i'm at dude i just got her her second house what because she yeah the first one just wasn't working out and she was like by herself in the middle of nowhere georgia and she's like nobody comes and visits i'm like no shit you live in the middle of nowhere so i moved her out to um to colorado where my sister lives now she has her uh she's there with her grandkids and stuff my little sister's got kids that's nice oh your sister has a couple kids yeah she's got two daughters oh that's your mom right there what's her name april april what's up april you know it's so funny if you look at mom christina from iowa is on the top thing she's actually more prominent than my my own mom in most of these really that's her right in the middle uh christina top top right corner the blonde hair and who was that your ex no no no no that was um that's god arguably probably my most famous crowd work thing was she's like this really hot mom actually grandma who lives in iowa and i met her on stage she gave me like these cookies and this like really sexual shirt and everything and i bro i was like 10 minutes into of the show when this happened i did like an hour and 20 minutes just talking to her and it was crazy crazy good time the entire time like we were great chemistry great banter the crowd was fucking loving it but at the time you can only post a 10 minute clip online on like instagram and stuff so i had to edit it all down to that like the whole show was that which never happens by the way like that sounds like i didn't have material ready for the show but like it was just such a really cool in the moment thing it went stupid it's got over like i'm sure collectively over a couple hundred million views dang yeah really yeah it's awesome no way she's awesome dude that's the best for where in iowa was that at um des moines the funny bone there yeah yeah i mean sometimes crowd work is uh it's different every time that's the fun you don't know if you're going to talk to you know super hot mom or biggest dick you've ever seen or somebody you know somebody all crumpled up in the corner you don't know yeah it is kind of great oh there she

is right there yeah yeah it is great dude with crowd work there's something really special about it it's just real and in the moment you know how do you get the um how do you get your cameraman now is you have a special cameraman who's one who's like right there kyle he gets all do it

all kyle he does all the crowd work stuff oh my gosh yeah then we do a little collaborative editing system together yeah he shoots all of it this was man the comedy clubs that feels like a lifetime ago this is probably three and a half years ago maybe something like that wow maybe

That feels like a different lifetime ago Are you off tour right now Are you going back out Is there any new places that you're going That you're a little bit like New places this year

Like new countries We just got back from Europe Which was really awesome We did England We went to Romania Romania was fucking awesome

Dude my friend just You're the second guest in a row That's talking about Romania Really? My friend just quit playing basketball My friend Patrick was playing basketball over there What? Yeah

He's white?

White guy

yeah okay yeah can i can i tell them the story okay so we get to we have like five weeks in europe straight this is night one of us landing in romania of the whole trip night one five weeks is a long time it's a very long time night one we're like oh we're gonna go have some drinks it's friday night we'll see what romania is about kyle gets roofied and robbed the first night on

tour how do you know you got ruthie kyle i woke up in an ambulance 50 50 minutes away from the hotel at 9 30 in the morning my chain was gone my camera was gone and they spent three grand

on my debit card yeah he couldn't like remember and they had to like carry him through the lobby and everything he was fucked up dude it was pretty funny that checks out night one dude night well it was like we got back to the hotel at probably like 4 a.m or something like that and we're like hold on Kyle wasn't with us I checked the location on my phone he's still at the bar we thought he had left earlier so I'm texting with him like yo like do you want Jackson and I to come you know Jackson McQueen oh yeah he's so he's so funny he's hilarious um I was like do you want Jackson and I we'll come come back and get you right now and he goes no it's all good I'm heading I'm heading back to the hotel right now i was like are you sure he goes yeah i'm heading back to the hotel go to sleep i wake up at 9 30 in the morning my phone's ringing off the hook and i'm like fucking what they're like yeah kyle's in the back of an ambulance right now it's like no

fucking way you communicate with him kyle no i could barely open one of my eyes and i was i knew i got beaten up by strippers i remember that we're sitting that's all i remember do you have a grill

in right now yeah okay that that's interesting bro we're sitting in the van day one after his recovery it's all quiet we're trying to ask him little things about we're trying to give him some space and he just goes i think those strippers were mean to me it was so so somber we're like what he goes yeah i think they pushed me down a lot it was one of the meanest things i've ever

heard that's wild to say that specifically i think they pushed me down it was heartbreaking yeah and all you got was that grill um the worst part is dude and just the not taking the grill

is hilarious i'm gonna leave them something but dude uh you did a show in romania yeah romania was awesome we did two shows there it was so cool i guess comedy is like a new growing thing that's like people are starting to go and perform a lot more if you get an opportunity they were a fucking awesome crowd i would love to go back and do they speak is there is there enough english spoken there absolutely yeah everybody everybody there speaks english for the most part oh yeah Dracula's Castle. Is it close to Estonia, I wonder? I mean, close-ish. I think Estonia is a little bit further north, I think. Because we had Ari Madian.

He's Estonian.

Yeah, dude. Ari's the best.

He's a tornado of comedy, dude. Europe crowds are fucking awesome, man.

I love performing overseas. A thousand miles apart. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good time, dude. Sweden was awesome. Oslo was really cool. I love performing in England. And the crowds are so much fun Oh dude yeah We had some good We did some good spots over there Ireland I'll do Ireland's the best show of the tour Every time I go there They're fucking great Scotland was amazing Scotland You can't crowd work in Scotland though dude

Yeah why not

You can't fucking understand them

Oh yeah

Dude I'll say something They'll say something back And I don't understand it And the crowd is like They're fucking cooking me dude And I have no idea with what they're saying

Yeah it's legendary over there What's up What's up? What's in the news, dude? Anything in the news that we wanted to look at? Oh, yeah. Anything good to talk about? Oh, what do you think about these data centers and stuff? Do you think about that kind of stuff? Because that's kind of crazy.

Bro, I just had to help stop them from putting in one in Rhode Island. No way. Yeah, they had to have a whole town hall meeting and everything like that. You went to it? I couldn't go, but my friend went and spoke on my behalf, which was very nice. She was very passionate about it, and she had my approval. I couldn't agree with her more. It's just so peaceful out there. It's just fucking up what we have, man. I mean, I don't know too much about them. I'm not even going to pretend like I do. Yeah, for sure. But the one thing, the most prominent thing that stood out to me, because it wasn't going to be that far from my house, was there was going to be like a nonstop humming coming from the building. And I was like, I don't want that. I love that I can hear birds outside, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, especially, yeah, like something just humming in the distance, dude.

Yeah.

New York passes data center moratorium and consumer protections as environmental and housing proposals stall. So what data is going into these things? Why did the data centers need to be so big? Do we have anything about that? This is perplexity. Data centers are built for continuous operation. Power cooling and network paths are duplicated so a failure of maintenance event doesn't drop. Workloads, having parallel systems and physically separated paths. uh well my thing is just this like so we we're already keeping a lot of data right like our phones we record stuff all the time it's on the cloud the amount of data that they must want to store now must be astronomical compared to what we're doing yeah so that's what i don't understand unless we're going to go into like a surveillance state right where which is that's what it feels like a lot of times it feels like they already are right because then they're gonna have to record around the clock everywhere everything yeah and they're just gonna put these rant

they're just gonna put these storage places and random places around the country that's so strange

to me yeah aaron brokovich i know was just talking about it um i want to get someone on to talk about some of those data centers just to learn a little bit more about it and what's going to be going on yeah let's see what this says right here this is tech billionaire oracle ceo larry ellison confesses a dystopian ai mass surveillance network citizens will be on

their best behavior because we're constantly recording and reporting everything that's going on uh and it's it's unimpeachable the cars the cars have camera you know cameras on them all right we have i think we have a squad car here someplace uh but those kind of applications using AI, if we can use AI, and we're using AI to monitor the video. So if that altercation had occurred, that occurred in Memphis, the chief of police would be immediately notified. It's not people that are looking at those cameras. It's AI that's looking at the camera. No, no, no. You can't do this. It would be like a shooting. That's going to be immediately, that's going to be an event that's immediately, an alarm's going to go off, It's going to be, and we're going to, we're going to have supervision. In other words, every police officer is going to be supervised.

It's going to be wild.

What the fuck, man?

I mean, play that beginning part again. Let's play the first 20 seconds. What does he say to this one part?

Citizens will be on their best behavior because we're constantly recording and reporting everything that's going on. And it's un-

Because we are constantly reporting. it sounds like they're like like they're going to be reporting to him you're gonna that's the

thing it's so fucking weird dude i mean do we have to be watched all the time i don't know how we can stop it now that's the scary part why do we need it i i mean i understand they're pushing the agenda of safety but like we have to how much safer is it going to get is it just going to be

for accountability you think i think that's it's like and also there'll be a level of control there because yeah i would say so yeah if you don't do certain things then you're entering this space well you didn't you didn't do things the right the perfect way this exact way yeah so then what

are the repercussions of that it's fucking weird dude i don't even i don't even want to live in this time to be honest i know it feels just kind of like it's it's too futuristic it's too it's too invasive when would you have liked to have been alive if you could like pick a couple of decades to have been, like, prime you?

I think probably born in... Because I think you... But part of you does, I feel like, want to kind of know... It's weird. You want to know how it... You want to be a part of the world in the sense you want to, like... You hope that the world ends well. Uh-huh. Because otherwise you feel like, what's the point? I think that starts to happen.

Yeah.

For me, anyway, I'm like, you want to... I feel like for past generations, I bet I felt like, let's leave it better. We're all building towards something. And then now suddenly I feel like we're all standing in a cul-de-sac and we're like, what the fuck are we building towards anymore? Our grandparents are like doing OnlyFans now. They're like, we're checked out. We don't care. It doesn't even matter. Like everybody. I do feel that way. Some of that energy is like, what are we doing?

I don't know what it looks like a generation after this one. You know, I have no idea what that looks like. Yeah. I think I would have liked to have been born maybe in like 60, 1960. Yeah. Grow up in the 70s, and then you're a young adult in the 80s. Yeah. And the music culture alone for that would have been fucking awesome. Oh. It's great for film.

Everything was magical. I've heard good things. Yeah, everything was magical. And then you get to see how dystopian it's getting and be like, yeah, I'm glad I'm leaving.

dude i feel so weird being like the last generation of people who wasn't like chronically online like i didn't this isn't young for some people but like i didn't get a cell phone until i was like i think i was almost almost 15 something like that it's like i still got the childhood of like i got the privilege of boredom yeah i think that's good for your brain to be a kid and have nothing to do and have to figure it out how to entertain yourself go go make up a game go play pretend. Go walk around and go throw

something through somebody's window. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna go break some shit. I think that's good for you. Yeah, I think your mom came home and you're like, you got arrested? You're like, yeah, I don't know. What else was I supposed to do? Yeah, I threw someone's window. I didn't know it would break. Just shit like that. Like, you just didn't know anything. And I think that, I think it makes you a better person. Oh, dude. So now, wandering around, just bored, hoping something would happen. A car drove by you, just watching it go by. Just watching it, dude. Laying on your floor, angry. Like, hoping your mom wouldn't come home soon, but also hoping your mom would come home soon.

Just so somebody's around. Yes. Just to hear some racket. Yeah. I think it's good for you, man. That's gone. People will never have that again. Taking a thousand naps.

If anybody came to the door, you would go talk to them. Oh, yeah. Even if there was like a, you know, like a registered sex event or whatever. Didn't even matter. You keep the chain on. keep them out but you still at least talk to them because it was somebody to talk to of course and they were charming you know yeah they were good at what they did i remember having to like ride your bike across town to see if your friend was home oh and they weren't oh god and you just had to go back yeah dude across town you biked miles oh across grass dude it was yeah oh yeah you'd

find a new way to go what is this video right here we'll watch this and we'll get you out of

man i need to show tonight okay you heard about these flock cameras popping up i have heard about

these flock cameras this is these just start these are like some of the um early uh cameras are going up everywhere mass surveillance public safety uh they are linked to the new ai data centers um let's

play it you won't believe the stickers i found somebody is putting these buggers up on every flat camera in town not enough people know that these are not just license plate readers these These Flock cameras build profiles on individuals that are walking by and in vehicles. They use things like gender, clothing, behavior, and even biometrics to build profiles on you for their Nova platform. Even integrating social media profiles, email data, and places that you go. And Flock's data feeds directly into Palantir's Gotham, which already powers ICE deportation.

What if this is GTA 6? like they're scanning everybody in real life in the real world everybody's gonna be in the game

that that's why it's not out yet that first of all is the excuse that they need for why it's not out and two that would be absolutely amazing dude i mean they just change a little feature about you but you're like you know that's you but in the future they could do that some of these companies could then license your existence somehow or where you at in certain areas into a video game like that and that gets kind of crazy dude that's pretty sick yeah let's finish out here let me see flock cameras have exploded across the u.s because they're cheap turnkey crime fighting tools that let even small departments tap into a national vehicle tracking network um flock sells subscription packages that include the hardware cellular backhaul their cameras continuously capture plates time stamps and vehicle metadata push it to flock's cloud where cops can run searches and set alerts on hot lists flock has marketed directly to police HOAs and private business centralizing all plate reads by 2024-25 the company said it had cameras in roughly 4,000 plus cities and over 5,000 communities so bro it's here

oh it's already in it's done

that's the new Annabelle dude and she's out of the box Matt Reif man you have your new to your Gornator I'm on tour right

now yeah

okay

stay golden tour

amen bro

we're going through the rest of this year so it should be fun yeah some fun cities ahead I'll be back here nice dude in Nashville in October for Bridgestone okay

yeah you're in town for it you gotta come through dude dude yeah I will be in town my friend is somebody dying or getting married what's happening in October

same thing

October 10th yeah

October 10th something's happening it's my grandpa's birthday it is that's creepy dang that's creepy shout out Steve Steve

Steve Steve um bro yeah thank you congrats everything FTX is coming out you don't know when yet

the FTX series comes out this December is that what it's called no it's called The Altruist The Altruist that'll be on Netflix and then we've got the movie with Owen Wilson coming out in October so that'll be some nice little end of the year oh Rolling Loud the movie that's what it is yeah yeah yeah dude that's crazy bro what do you play in this movie I play his his work colleague who happens to also be at the festival he's like a big festival head and he helps him look for his lost son in the festival so it's just me him and his girl Christine Coe who's a hilarious actress she was on Dave yeah so we kind of helped him look for his lost son amen bro yeah dude

best of luck man congrats on everything dude thanks for stopping by and spending some time with me bro it's a pleasure

I know we've been trying to figure this out for some years now so thank you for finally making the time I appreciate it

it's a blessing man your life seems active and busy it seems like you stay active in your own life as much and just you know show up for yourself and get things done that's exciting it's inspiring thank you man I appreciate that Yeah It's the truth Matt Reif Thanks brother

Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it In my bones But it's gonna take