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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm a household name, as long as you're in my household. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal! Thank you, Alzo!

Thank you! Thank you, everybody! We've got a great show for today. Later on, we're going to be talking to indie rock icon Stephen Malcolmus, leader of the band Pavement. But first, we want to congratulate Alzo Slade on his first month as our official judge and scorekeeper. That means he has lasted longer in the job than five British prime ministers.

Right?

But you never know what might happen, so you better call before there's a vote of no confidence. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is David from Brooklyn. Hey, David from Brooklyn, can you differentiate yourself? There are a lot of Davids in Brooklyn.

Well, father of two, run two, have marathons, and I can see Barclays Center from my house.

Whoa.

That don't really narrow it down.

No, it doesn't at all. Yeah.

Oh, a marathoning dad in Brooklyn. Yeah, no. Well, David, it is nice to have you on the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she's a comedian whose new stand-up special, What's Her Secret?, is now available on YouTube. It's Emmy Blotnick. Hello. Next, she's a comedian whose special Love, Joy is on Peacock and whose album Yell Joy is on Blonde Medicine. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

What up, David?

And making his debut on our panel, it's a comedian and host of the Downside podcast on Vox. You can see his comedy special Thief of Joy on YouTube as well. It's Gianmarco Cerezi. Hello, hello, hello. David, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time? Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

I'm ready to go. And Alzo, congratulations on one month. You are filling very big shoes at a very big lectern. I like this guy. Yeah. I like this guy. I know. David, you've got three out of three already.

Well played, sir. Well played. All right. Your first quote is from a White House spokesperson speaking on Tuesday about a body of water gone completely green with algae. The pool is clear and reflecting beautifully. What pool was she talking about?

She is talking about the reflecting pool.

Yes, the reflecting pool on the National Mall. In May, the president announced he'd be renovating the reflecting pool, quote, ahead of schedule. And just a month later, it is a fetid mass filled with algae, floating debris, and a few dead ducks. But to be fair, it is ahead of schedule. Trump said the pool had actually been damaged by vandals with knives, quote, probably in the dark of night, unquote. And do you know how bad a lie is that even Donald Trump used the word probably? I'm sure you guys have been following this national drama with rapt attention. Yeah, I don't know. The dead ducks, it kind of feels like the new Groundhog's Day. Like, if you find a dead duck around the pool, that means four more years of Trump. Oh, God.

Yes. It's funny that he said it was damaged by vandals when there's video that they drove

the motorcade. Yes, this is actually true. Yeah. When it was empty, he had his motorcade, which as you know, he's the president. It's a huge thing. Drive into the reflecting pool and down the empty bottom and out. Yeah. I think you should do it while it's full. Yeah. The damage to the reflecting pool after this renovation includes holes, cracks, peeling caulk in the seams and long sheets of the supposedly waterproof bottom coating floating to the surface at the end of the week this is true they just with all these people coming to gawk at the damage they just fenced off the entire thing so nobody can see what they're doing to it now you know we are going to end up

with the nation's first above-ground reflecting pool.

I don't want to disrespect people who repair pools, but I kind of feel like I could have done a better job. Yes. Like, just as a person, common sense, like, is it that hard?

Apparently.

Feels like they also haven't addressed the leaky pipes. They went straight to the paint job.

Right.

What about the pipes?

There you go. You see, right now, you are now qualified. Exactly. And the algae, which is like just blooming like it's nobody's business, it's unsightly. It might, as I said, might be killing the ducks. But on the other hand, RFK Jr. needs it to survive. All right. David, here is your next quote. It is from a sports fan. The hydration breaks are BS, but I can get my beers. That fan was one of many people excited to make a run for the concessions during the new hydration breaks during what big sporting events?

The World Cup, and I bet it was probably a Scottish fan because they drank Boston and every other city drive.

As you're right, we discussed that last week. Yeah, they're for it. It is the World Cup. One thing soccer fans have always been proud of is that their game has no timeout. It is just 90 continuous minutes of absolutely nothing happening. But for this year's World Cup, supposedly in response to fears about high temperatures, FIFA has for the first time introduced hydration breaks, a three-minute pause in each half where all the players' mothers run out and give them orange slices. I'm not a soccer fan at all, but

now I call it football because I'm a British person. But I am a fan of men who don't skip leg day. So I have been watching. Y'all better not skip leg day. John Marco got his gams out right

now under the table i do i do i don't i i guess i we should have these breaks i don't know why they don't call them water breaks in the theater we call them intermissions yes and i i think

they're wonderful yeah i mean it's uh they have to run so much in soccer that's like and they have to hit the ball with their head i would need a break as you can tell this is the least athletic

panel that's ever been on this show which is saying something do you ever hear the sound of

a ball hitting the goalie's hand. You just want to go like, ow! Like, imagine a ball hitting your hand like that.

Well, that's why they wear the big Mickey Mouse gloves, right? I don't even know. You don't know. Well, I should let you know, since you're not one of the soccer purists hate this change, everybody is saying these so-called hydration breaks are really just about giving TV another place to sell some ads, to which FIFA said, no, we just want our players to hydrate with the cool, refreshing taste of Miller Lite. But if they're making changes for the American World Cup, why not think bigger? Fifteen minutes at the end where everybody's allowed to use their hands. I didn't know you couldn't use your hands. All right. Joel, there is nothing wrong with not being a sports fan.

She's just looking at legs the whole time. Yeah, true.

I'm not just looking at legs, Alza. I'm also looking at butts.

All right. David, here's your last quote. It's about a guy who made headlines just for moving

a podium this week. He's the only one at Downing Street whose approval rating is rising. That man

has become famous because one, he's hot, and two, he comes out to set up the podium whenever who

announces their resignation? Well, it's really sad that he's more attractive than Keir Starma,

but it's Podium Guy. Yeah, it's the Podium Guy. You know about him, but of course, he's the guy who shows up to put up the podium whenever a British prime minister resigns, which this week it was Keir Starmer. Yes, the premier of the world's fifth largest economy resigned this week, but all anybody can talk about is hot podium guy. Even the New York Times, they're a big story about it. That's right. There have been so many resignations of British prime ministers in the last few years that the hot guy who sets up for the resignation speech has become a celebrity in fact it is possible that the uk keeps running through new prime ministers because they just want to see more of this guy you know it's crazy though because i've

been living in london and i can tell you guys this that a british 10 is like an american six

i don't know go look this guy up it's easy to be hot next to boris johnson that's true

How did David do in our quiz?

My man David did well Three out of three Congratulations, David Well done

Thank you, thank you Thank you, David Thanks for playing Thank you, thank you Bye-bye

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, after the TSA kept stopping international travelers trying to bring it home in their carry-ons, Kraft has introduced, quote, TSA-compliant three-ounce bottles of what?

Something disgusting. It was like cottage cheese or something?

No, it's the thing that all the European tourists, foreign tourists have decided is the best thing about American cuisine.

What is the best thing about American cuisine? Okay, craft.

Craft makes... Cheese. I'll give you a hint. This is even true if you're traveling home. They'll take it away from you, even if you're traveling home to the Hidden Valley.

Ew, ranch dressing? Ranch dressing.

Wow. You've been in Europe, so you've missed this. All the tourists are going nuts for ranch dressing. The soccer players drink it on their breaks. It's crazy. I know.

They making travel-sized ranch dressing?

Graft has announced travel-sized bottles of ranch dressing to go through TSA because people are like, oh, my God, this American delicacy, and they're buying bottles to bring home. But the TSA keeps confiscating the ranch dressing from passengers because technically it's a liquid, and you can't have that much liquid. Imagine you're in that situation, and you just do what you always do when you have a bottle of water in the TSA lane. You just, oh, well, chug it. This is getting grosser.

You put a new sticker on it that says lotion.

Yeah, maybe. But imagine being a kid in Europe to stay home when your dad went to see the World Cup in America, and he comes home, and you're like, what'd you bring home from your trip? I hope it's a thick dairy product. I want to know what's going to happen, though, with all the seized ranch dressing at the TSA checkpoints. Like, this 4th of July, some TSA agent is planning on whipping up a few thousand hot wings and then using his swimming pool as a dipping bowl.

It would have more reflecting capacity.

Yes, that's true.

There's no way going without you Cause all my thoughts are about you I'm flying through every time zone

Just trying to find you Coming up, our panelists step right up to our Bluff the Listener game call 1-888-wait-wait-to-play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Gianmarco Seraci, Joelle Nicole Johnson, and Emmy Blotnick. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo.

Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Gwen calling from West Lafayette, Indiana.

Well, that's fabulous. What do you do there in West Lafayette?

I just finished my PhD, and my side copy lately has been planning my wedding, which is this weekend. Oh, my gosh. This weekend?

That's so exciting. What are you doing talking to us? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, planning things, talking to your bridesmaids, freaking out? I mean, this is, this is a regular. No, they've got it handled. It's all planned. Wow. Well.

Mazel tov to you, but it is great to have you with us to play our games. You're going to play, in fact, the game where you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what is Glenn's topic? Glenn, come on down. Game shows, of course, those most revered and important programs that run for years, famously, always with handsome hosts, sporting beautiful full heads of hair. Well, this week we heard a really amazing story that came from the world of game shows. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one, and you'll get the wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Let's do it. Let's do it. First up, let's hear from Joelle Nicole Johnson.

Sakana Suos and his wife, Asia, won big on the only season of the Cambodian game show, Take My Wife or My Life. It was a show that took the contestants on a year-long journey that makes Survivor look like a weekend at the spa. When aired, the clips of the couple working together to complete challenges and master tasks, while still managing to love each other, went viral on the internet, and they developed a cult following. So what did they do with the winnings? They started a game show-based cult called The Guru is Right. We're not the Mansons. We got prizes. Their 82 followers lovingly refer to them as the chef and the Vanna from heaven. Every single day is dedicated to a different game show. On Wheel of Fortune Wednesdays, the followers spin the Wheel of Karma. Family Feud Fridays, everyone wears fake mustaches and wins prizes based on their bushyness. Saturdays are clothing optional. The followers are sometimes naked, but never afraid. When interviewed, cult assistant Rainier the Grand Mesa says, it's not that bad as far as cults go. And unlike most cult leaders, Sakonel doesn't pursue the female members. He doesn't even let them kiss his cheeks because he don't want to smear his stage makeup.

A game show winner starts a cult based on game shows. Your next story to buzz in on comes from Emmy Blotnick.

A new study has found that if a male contestant on Wheel of Fortune refers to his wife with a complimentary adjective, such as my lovely wife or my gorgeous wife, he's three times more likely to stay married to her. Men who did not use a complimentary adjective about their wives were three times more likely to get divorced. The study was based on six years' worth of episodes, and it was conducted not by a team of researchers, but by one random guy. He watched nearly 2,000 episodes of Wheel of Fortune, and that whole time he wasn't even retired. He methodically recorded which men said a nice word about their wives and which did not, and then went and checked their divorce records. Wow, sounds like he could really benefit from the company of a fantastic wife. another interesting finding was that the contestants who paid their wives compliments also won more cash but kind words don't need to be reserved for your partner or for when you're on wheel of fortune why not offer a complimentary adjective to a colleague and quietly hope for more money and with that i'll turn it back over to our bewitching host peter sagal thank you emmy

Thank you. A study found that men who referred to their wives with a compliment on Wheel of Fortune had more successful marriages than those who refer to their wives without one.

Your last contestant is John Marco Cerezi. Plans for another season of Mr. Beast's Beast Games on Amazon have been put on hold after it was discovered that an episode in season two plagiarized several of the challenges from KGB interrogation techniques. The similarities were first spotted by former Soviet foreign intelligence officer Yuri Gordievsky, who remarked that episode five's grocery store challenge utilized an ultra-luminescent exposure technique that was originally designed by the KGB to make people temporarily insane, while also remarking that Mr. Beast took it to an extreme that would quote-unquote quote, never have been allowed in the Soviet Union. Since the news broke, dozens of other former KGB have come forward to say the show reminds them why they defected in the first place. While the show's future remains in limbo, several of the previous challenges have already been implemented to optimize performance in

Amazon warehouses. So here are your choices. We found a news item related to game shows this week. was it, from Joyelle, that there's a cult based on the host's success on game shows. From Emmy Blotnick, we heard about a study showing that if you are on Wheel of Fortune and you refer to your wife with a lovely compliment, my beautiful wife, your marriage will be more successful. Or from Gianmarco Cerezi, a discovery that the Beast games stole many of their most exciting challenges from the KGB, which was the real story we found in the news.

I've only seen Mr. Beast doing something like that. And I'm a huge fan of John Marco, so I'll go with number three.

Well, you have a huge fan, John Marco. That's very nice. I know. So you're going to choose John Marco's story. Well, okay, to bring you the real story, we spoke to an expert.

Could you imagine your husband going on national television and referring to you simply as his wife instead of his beautiful wife or wonderful wife?

That was the man himself, Joey, on TikTok, explaining his detailed analysis of men on Wheel of Fortune mentioning their wives. So, as you no doubt have figured out, it was, in fact, Emmy who had the real story.

I feel terrible. Well, I feel terrible. And you did it to a fan, Don Marco. Yeah, I'm sorry. And it really is crazy. Only a man could need a six-year study to learn that he needs to compliment his wife. Glenn, I'm sorry you didn't win our prize

But you did earn a point for John Marco And you said you're a fan

Thank you for the point You are a beautiful Caller in

And let us not also forget You will be a beautiful bride So congratulations on your wedding Congratulations Thank you

And now the game we call Not My Job.

Pitchfork Magazine once wrote, quote, What the Beatles were to 60s pop, pavement, were to 90s indie rock. That seminal band which influenced so many others was founded in Stockton, California by Stephen Malcomus and his friends, and 30 years later, he and they are still making music, and he's doing it from his new home here in Chicago. Stephen Malcomus, welcome to Wait, Wait. I feel we need to start with a fact check Was Pavement, your band, the Beatles of 90s indie rock?

I don't think so No There's only one Beatles

Yeah, I know But maybe you were the Hermit and the Hermits of 90s indie rock Where would you place yourself on the spectrum?

Were you the wait, wait, don't tell me of 90s indie rock? Yeah, there you go

I have no idea what that would mean, though. Five Ps. But the band, I mean, what I've heard about Pavement is something that was also once said about the Velvet Underground. Like, you know, they didn't have as many listeners as some other bands, but everybody who listened started their own band.

Yeah, we get a lot of CDs.

Remember those? CDs. People are sending you CDs? No, just at the shows. People come up and they go, you influenced me, here's my band.

Yeah, because it's kind of seems like you can do it, if you hear us. It's not particularly, like, virtuous.

Wait, are you telling me that, like, the message that people got from your seminal records in the 90s was they listened to paper? Like, I could do that.

Pretty much. you know we have a relationship with tone and tuning and uh tempo that is loose loose loose

yeah uh can we do can we go back to the origin so you founded the band in stockton california where you kind of had a you were sort of a juvenile delinquent as they used to say

i think it says that on wikipedia yeah i haven't bothered to change i don't know can you

apparently you can but the consensus is you should not edit your own Wikipedia page

I mean it's just ridiculous because I know there is something about me like partying on rooftops in the high school and it was just one tiny thing of all the terrible things I did

really so like Wikipedia they missed all the other terrible things you did but for some reason people are talking about this one party

you know how that becomes but the real question is have you changed Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm older and wiser and I don't climb on rooftops anymore.

Yeah. Take the elevator like a, like a responsible guy. Do you get recognized in a, by fans in the streets of Chicago?

Sometimes. Yeah. More when I go, I mean, if I hang out in front of a record store.

You just stand there minding your own business, just tapping your foot. Next to the P section. Tuning a guitar Wear my t-shirt Yeah, wear your t-shirt Now, you know that also in the Chicago area Billy Corgan lives in Smashing Pumpkins And You famously In one of your songs back in 94 You called them out You called out the Smashing Pumpkins In a way I mentioned their name In a not complimentary way Not so bad, though What'd you say? I mean And...

it's really a nice thing to do to even take the time to mention somebody.

I see. So he should have been flattered by, oh, wow, you name-checked his band, rather than the subsequent mention of waste of time.

I didn't say that.

I thought maybe that was...

They didn't have a pump-ins function, but they do truly have some good songs. They do.

Have you run into Billy Down at Pizzeria Uno for example

He's like afraid of You

Yeah probably

He lives like in the Beyond Evanston From what I understand

Way way in the far north

Might as well be Wisconsin

I know you've dismissed this question before That your rider is Tour riders for Rockstar is famously weird Yours is very straight forward writer? I'm told, like, do you, in fact, as far as you go, it's only so far as to specify a brand

of seltzer water? Well, maybe La Croix, as we say it in France. Yeah. Or Montreal or something. Yeah, we have a basic writer. I don't, I mean, the other guys want towels. I don't use towels. Ever? You just air dry? I don't sweat that much. Really? not too much I wouldn't do that on stage just kidding yeah I don't need them and they're always black what's wrong with that? I'm saying I don't trust them there's something about a rock and roll towel that it's black it's not just that black is rock and roll like heavy metal But also you don't know what's on there On the towel Who knows when it's not clean I'm not even a neat freak I'd be more scared of a white towel I guess so That's true But they're dry when we get them I don't know I see dust in them It's always dusty back there Y'all's is kind of dusty too Not the adjective

Call me Billy Corgan Well, we didn't get your rider, so we didn't prepare I just love this, like, the father of indie rock is like Yeah, I don't know about those towels, they're on sanitary That's not the lifestyle I imagine you living, I have to admit

That's true

Well, Stephen Malcolmus, it's a pleasure to talk to you and to welcome you to Chicago We have asked you here to play a game we're calling Pavement repairs are underweight so there's another kind of pavement workers road construction crews naturally we're going to ask you three questions about construction to answer two out of three questions correctly you'll win our prize one of our listeners also who's steven malkmus playing for francis king of missoula montana all right ready to do this yes recently road crews in southern england had to dig up a 65 foot long stretch of road and repair it, which was necessary. But neighbors were not happy with the detour they set up to get around the 65 foot long stretch of road. Why were they unhappy? Was it A, the detour to repair that was 41 miles around. B, the detour was also under construction, meaning people just had to go home. Or C, the detour across the river at a spot where there

wasn't a bridge. Oh, man. I will say, they say schmucks pick three, so I'll do three.

You're going to do C, the cross the river. Well, I guess you're not a schmuck because it was actually A, the 41-mile detour to avoid the 65-foot-long construction site. They estimated the detour, the officials estimated the detour would take drivers about an hour to travel the distance that would normally take two seconds. Alright. Here's your next question. When you're done with the construction in a neighborhood, the last step, of course, is to put up new street signs. But in Reno, Nevada, the new street signs they put up on Virginia Street, once they finished constructing it, had a problem. What? Was it A, they reflected headlights so well, they were blinding drivers? B, they were missing the last I and said, Vagina Street. Or C, they read Buckthorn Avenue, which was a street two and a half miles away.

Um, I don't know. I mean, two is the funny one. That's right. It was also the true one, yeah.

Vagina Street. Oh, this is great. You got one with one to go. If you get this, you win. Here's your last question. Other types of construction have issues as well. In 1870.

the U.S. constructed a border fort on Lake Champlain to protect against attacks from British Canada, but the fort had to be demolished. Why? Was it A. They accidentally built the fort on the Canadian side of the border B. The commander demanded a wine cellar so big that half the fort one day just sank into it, or C. The fort was made of birch logs and birch bark is like catnip to moose.

I've seen some moose Not far from Missoula, Montana So I really want to do it right for this guy I guess that's a sign I'm going to say C even though it's probably A

Wait a minute, you said C even though it's probably A? Yeah So if it's probably A, wouldn't you want to choose A?

Yeah, yeah It's A, yeah, okay. Thank you.

Also, how did Stephen do with our kids? We're a little nudging. He got two out of three. Congratulations. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for helping him. Stephen Malcolmus is the lead singer and guitarist of Pavement, and you can see them on tour starting in July. Stephen Malcolmus, thank you so much for being on. Thank you. Give it up to Stephen Malcolmus. In just a minute, Alzo puts on his raddiest sweatsuit for our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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There have been some fantastic movies released this year, and we know you can't see them all. So we're recommending some great films that might have flown under the radar to add to your watch list. Listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour via the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Gianmarco Cerezi, Emmy Blotnick, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo.

In just a minute, we try out the hot new summer craze people won't stop talking about. it's limericks. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though, it is time for you to answer more questions from the week's news. Emmy, a question for you. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia. I'll take it. There you are. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia, but anyone who buys it will have to live with what? Gritty? No. That would be an incentive. That would drive up the price. I feel like, okay. No, I'll give you a hint. Oh no, the redcoats are coming. The redcoats are coming to our yard. Keir Starmer? Well, he does need some place to go, I guess. No, when I say redcoats, I mean like literal redcoats dressed as british soldiers because they do they come to do a reenactment revolutionary war reenactment exactly right this nearly 250 year old house comes with quote nine bedrooms 10 fireplaces ample parking and this is completely true an unbreakable agreement to let an entire battalion of dads reenact the battle of germantown from the revolutionary war on the front lawn every year and it will only cost you $995,000 plus whatever you have to pay to get the hell out of Germantown once a year. How hot are the dads?

something about the phrase battalion of dads. I sat up a little straight.

Joyelle, Time Magazine has given us something we could use. Good advice. They have told us the best way to console someone whose sports team just blew a big game is by saying three exact words. What are those three words? Here's a sandwich. That's not bad. That would work for me. But that wasn't the three words they suggested.

I know what three words I would say.

What three words would you say? Suck it up. That's pretty good. Does anybody else have a guess?

Any book recommendations?

No, I think I'll just have to tell you. According to Time Magazine experts, the three words to say to somebody who was crushed by their team blowing it at the last minute is let's zoom out. What? Let's zoom out. Your friend just watched the team and he lives and dies, but he just blew it in the last seconds. He's on his knees weeping. What do you say to comfort him? One psychologist recommends wording it like this. Zoom out a little bit. Let's remember how great the season was. This helps your friend remember all the success that got him to the brink of glory and also helps by immediately giving him something to punch.

Yeah, it sounds like the psychologist was not a sports fan.

No. Joelle, this week, Dating.com announced a new job opening, an executive that will provide clients with what specific service? Breaking up with people? Exactly right, Joelle. Yes! The website announced they'll be hiring a, quote, chief breakup officer who'll be paid $3,000 a month to end other people's relationships for them. The ideal candidate will have good people skills A compassionate nature And at least a year experience working with drama Where do I sign up? Really? You'd be good at this? I would absolutely be good at this Don't you think it would be a drain on your empathy? Do you have to call people up and somehow say Hi, I work for dating.com And I've been asked by whomever to let you know That they're not interested in seeing you anymore I'm so sorry

I love that you think I have empathy I would sign up for this in a second Are you kidding me? I'm about to call them. What you call it? Dating? I'm so excited about this. I'm never coming back here again. I'm going to get this job.

This is so unethical. You can't play both sides of the market. It's like profitable, but I don't think it's right. Okay. How many women have you ghosted? Ghosted? Yeah. No, I pay someone to break up with them properly, like a gentleman.

Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. You can catch us on the road. We'll be at the beautiful Riverside Theater in Milwaukee on July 9th. You won't want to miss that one. And at the Rose Music Center just outside Dayton, Ohio on September 3rd. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, Peter. This is Sharon from Bradenton, Florida.

Hey, how are things in Bradenton? What do you do there?

Oh, lots of sunsets on the beach, meeting with friends. I have also a cat-sitting business on the side.

You have a cat-sitting business? Yes. So do the cats come to your house or do you go to theirs?

I go to theirs.

Wow. What's the most interesting thing you have found rifling through people's drawers when they're not home?

Oh, Peter, I don't do that, you know. Um, I'm there for about half an hour, and, um...

That's enough time. Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Sharon. Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yeah, I'm ready. Here's your first limerick.

To make a tough workout more bearable, I bring clothes that are old but still wearable. Like a slob, I appear in my gross, sweaty gear. I go to the gym looking...

Oh, terrible? Yes, terrible. In recent years, everybody at the gym has worn fancy exercise clothes, but according to The Guardian, the latest trend among celebrities and fashionistas is wearing crappy old clothes to work out. So now the rest of us can. Finally, I can throw out my sweat-wicking tuxedo.

This is one of those recession indicators where they're like, it's fashionable that your clothes suck now. Yeah, exactly.

All the hut people are doing it. The look is called gym goblin. Gym goblin. Come on, the gym goblin, we all know this, is not the person who dresses down for the gym. The gym goblin is the guy who is...

way too comfortable being naked in the locker room. I'm curious. Do you guys think about what you wear to the gym, assuming you do go?

I try to dress up. I have some fancy tank tops that I like to wear. Do you really? I mean, mini mouse. Mini mouse. I have a mini mouse one. I have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have, yeah, I like a little flair.

What do you think fancy means? Exactly.

Are you going to like a toddler gym? That's weird. No, it's very, it's, it's, it's fun. I add a little, I add a little color to the gym. Yeah, a little color, yeah.

Here is your next limerick. Most people will choose crisp tattoos, but this new kind is just black and blues. The ink under your shirt suggests you've been hurt because it looks like a permanent...

Bruise. Right. More and more people are getting tattoos resembling stylized bruises because, actually, we have no idea why they are doing that. It's pretty crazy to look at. These tattoos are inked in purple, green, and yellow to look exactly like halfway-heeled bruises. It's crazy, and if you're looking for a cheaper, less painful way to get in on the trend, may I suggest riding an e-scooter after a couple of beers.

It sounds like someone screwed up a tattoo and was like, no, it's a new thing.

Yeah. All right, here's your last limerick. A commute? We'll just quit, said a bunch. And our office is feeling the crunch. So our plan of attack, give them food. They'll come back. We're offering snacks and free... Lunch. Yes, free lunch.

More and more companies have hit upon the solution at long last to bring workers back to the office. Free lunch. It's a refreshing change from the tactic most companies had been using. Come into work or you're fired.

Isn't there a saying about free lunches and how there's no such thing as them?

Apparently there now is, as long as you come into the office.

Wow.

I have found this to be true across all demographics, and certainly with myself, the universal appeal of free food.

I accepted this job because of free lunch. Yeah. Alzo, how did Sharon do in our quiz? She did amazing. Three out of three. Sharon, congratulations. Sharon, congratulations.

thank you thank you thanks for calling and playing thanks it's been great bye

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member SIPC. Hi, it's Terry Gross, host of Fresh Air. Hey, take a break from the 24-hour news cycle with us and listen to long-form interviews with your favorite authors, actors, filmmakers, comedians, and musicians, the people making the art that nourishes us and speaks to our times. So listen to the Fresh Air podcast from NPR and WHYY.

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores?

Yes, indeed. Emi and Joyelle are locked in a tie at two with Gianmarco in the lead at three. Oh, my goodness.

Okay, so that means that since Emi and Joyelle are tied for second, I'm just going to pick Joyelle to go first arbitrarily. The clock will start when they begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, all the candidates endorsed by Mir Mamdani won their primaries in blank. New York, baby! Yes, on Monday, Iran denied White House claims that it had agreed to let blank monitors into the country. Baby monitors. No. Nuclear monitors. According to the New York Times, new evidence does suggest that blank will hold a wedding ceremony at Madison Square Garden. Taylor Swift? Yes, on Wednesday, the chief of staffer, Eric Adams, the former mayor of blank, was arrested on corruption charges. New York, baby! Yes, after a truck overturned on the highway near Yellowstone, park rangers are warning visitors to be on the alert for blank. Drunk drivers! No, 250 million escaped bees. On Thursday, Rockstar Games announced that pre-orders were open for the...

The greatest game in the Grand Theft Blank series.

Auto! Yes!

This week, a 10th standoff between a SWAT team in Arizona and an armed suspect was interrupted by blank. The Jim Goblin? No, not a Jim Goblin. By a delivery robot driving right through the middle of the scene. SWAT team's out there. They've got their guns. The guy's inside. He's armed. And right in the middle of the standoff comes this delivery robot. DoorDash delivery robot. Beep, beep, beep, beep. And they couldn't make it go away, and they couldn't get rid of it. But it actually ended up helping. It went up to the door and said, look, I'm on your side here. If you let everybody out of the house unharmed, I can guarantee you a bag of lukewarm French fries. Also, how did Joyelle do in our quiz?

She did all right. She got four right for eight more points, total of 10. She is now in the lead. All right.

Emmy, that means you are up next. Here we go. fell in the blank. On Wednesday, two back-to-back earthquakes struck the northern coast of blank. Venezuela. Right. This week, the U.S. warned that AI is just months away from being able to launch powerful blank attacks. Toilet? They're swarming us. No, cyber attacks. On Wednesday, Trump said he wanted the Justice Department to investigate if oil companies are artificially inflating blank prices. Gas. Right. This week, thanks to SpaceX's stock price, Elon Musk became the first ever blank. Big stupid baby? The first ever person who had been a trillionaire to become an ex-trillionaire. According to sources, Apple will release a foldable blank this September. Phone? Yes, foldable iPhone. This week, a Scottish man who went to the doctor for vision problems discovered the reason he was having trouble seeing was because blank.

He was wearing eye patches.

No. He was having eye troubles because he kept using a massage gun on his eyeballs. Doctors were shocked when the man told them that he'd been regularly using the massage gun on his tired eyeballs once a week for at least three months. That explained several of his symptoms, including his blurred vision, his persistent floaters in his vision, and the fact that his eyes are now set all the way to the back of his skull. That sounds painful. It really does. I'm just trying to imagine the guy going, I'm sure this is good for me. Also, how did Emmy Blotnick do in our quiz?

She got three right for six more points. Total of eight. Joelle is still in the lead. All right.

So how many then does John Marco need to win on his debut on this show? Debut, John Marco, you only need four points, brethren. All right. Here we go. You ready to do this? Yeah. All right. So for the game, as extreme weather continues to hit Europe, France recorded its blankest day in history. Hottest. Right. On Tuesday, A.J. DeBansa was the number one pick in the blank.

A FIFA thing

No NBA draft This week President Trump said he intends to finish his border blank before the end of his term Wall Yes, according to a new study, 77% of Americans think that the blanks would be disappointed at how the country has turned out Founding fathers Yes, this week JPMorgan Chase fired one of their executives after she was caught on camera blanking during the New York Knicks victory parade Stealing a trash can and pouring it all out on the street. That's exactly right. It was a Knicks-themed trash can, and she wanted it. On Wednesday, NASA's Perseverance rover detected organic carbon on blank. Mars? Yes. On Tuesday, Meta released a new, cheaper version of their AI blank. A headset, VR headset. Oh, I'm going to give it to you. Glasses is what they are. This week, customers accused REI of using AI in an Instagram ad because the bicycle they posted there has blank six fingers no fingers to begin with i guess in a bicycle would be weird no this bicycle was pictured with handlebars at both ends rei came in for some criticism when their ad for the edrf bike had handlebars on the front and instead of a seat even more handlebars pointing the other way honestly though anyone criticizing the ad is kind of full of it. Oh, this looks so uncomfortable. Unlike that paragon of comfort, a bike seat. Alzo, did John Marco do well enough to win? He kicked ass. Hey!

He got six right for 12 more points, 15 total debut champion. He came, he saw, he conquered. Wow.

Way to show up the vets, man. That was something. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what surprising thing the authorities will find when they finally drain the reflecting pool. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jasira Vardak. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Durnbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Mohanad Elshekhi. Peter Gwynn is our lead singer. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical director is Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. our senior producer is Ian Chillock, and the executive producer of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will they find on the bottom of that reflecting pool?

Emmy Blotnick. The enormous sapphire and diamond necklace known as the heart of the ocean.

Joelle Nicole Johnson Jimmy Hoffa And John Marco Cerezi The real Melania Trump And if any of that happens panel We'll ask you about it on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

Thank you to Alzo Slade Thanks also to Joelle Nicole Johnson Jimmy Blotnick, John Marcos for a great debut. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We will see you next week.

This is NPR.

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